1 June - (Air) Liber LXV, 2:49
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49. Behold! I am a man. Even a little child might not endure Thee. And lo!
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49. Behold! I am a man. Even a little child might not endure Thee. And lo!
I find that the personal equation trumps the specific intent of the text, at least in so far as this specific intent is represented by other commentators to this thread. The line speaks to me, but primarily because my center of spiritual gravity is in a different place than the man speaking in the text. He is an adept, a master, or the naked soul shivering in the snow on a sun drenched height. I am something much lower in form and self-understanding.
This causes a tension to be set up, perhaps not intended, but it is what there is for me. This tension gives me something to write about, but misses the original mark, which I imagine must be there somewhere.
Hence, the village is split now—it's primitive base remains, while the other half has bought into the world view of the colonizers; and the rise of self awareness out of primitive unconsciousness brings with it one who is the focus of all the awakened darkness—a young male, a Kerub of Air. This darkness is the now awakened, self conscious impulses of the mother, nature. Two suits arrive, missionaries or corporate business interests; mercurial because they wear white suits, and did I mention there were two of them? The village has been under siege for many years now—snipers 'shadow' the village from above and will shoot anyone that moves out from under the eaves of the buildings. We all know and understand that this dark young man is the center of everything, and must be protected. He is no longer a little child, and not yet a man.
Love and Will
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The speaker just experienced the ineffable. Here the speaker is exclaiming,
Look at me.
I'm a fully grown man.
I have spent years building up who I think I am and in walked this Angel/Experience and blew it all away.
Even a little child who hadn't built up such an Ego structure would be shattered by this experience.
Wowzer, what a night!!!!!! -
"49. Behold! I am a man. Even a little child might not endure Thee. And lo!
""I am something much lower in form and self-understanding."
I used to your line Robert to express what I felt the attitude and the tone of the speaker of this line. You ever look at something nature, so vast and so big and so majestic that it just makes you go "...whoa...?" Yeah.
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I heart you. That was brilliant.
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He could have easily said “I am an adult” I should have more of an understanding of the lord than a child should, but I haven’t even scratched the surface of understanding his shadow.
In this instance, he is trying to compare his understanding to a child’s but his understanding is like a child. To say that he is a man or an adult is like pointing his finger to himself and saying “I should understand more. I am an adult so my understanding should be better, but it is not much closer to understanding the shadow of the lord”.
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49. Behold! I am a man. Even a little child might not endure Thee. And lo!
It makes me think of a man whose mental flexibility/dexterity is practiced and disciplined versus a child whose mind has no rigid boundaries yet at all. It also makes me think of the physical capability of a young child versus an adult.
And lo! - he is surprised that he is able to withstand the intensity, yet he is able.