3 June - (Air) Liber LXV, 2:52-53
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52. All night they danced and sang; but Thou art the morning, O my darling, my serpent that twinest Thee about this heart.
53. I am the heart, and Thou the serpent. Wind Thy coils closer about me, so that no light nor bliss may penetrate. -
52. All night they danced and sang; but Thou art the morning, O my darling, my serpent that twinest Thee about this heart.
53. I am the heart, and Thou the serpent. Wind Thy coils closer about me, so that no light nor bliss may penetrate.I remember a period when I was seriously confused about this heart and serpent imagery. I still am, in so far as it challenges me by refusing to be only one simple thing. I have much more information than I did back then, and yet I still fear the real possibility of cheating myself by ending my attempt to resolve exactly what is going on with the heart and serpent, knowing it could only be wrong if I settled on a clear-cut doctrine. Though, I suppose my habit of breaking things is as much a crutch as assuming there are set answers to the problems posed by the text.
It's tempting to think of these answers, difficult perhaps, but still answers nonetheless, somewhere in the back of the book. Save me from that mechanization! So, I guess I am not done with breaking things.
There was a time when I was disturbed by the idea that, in some way, this serpent was the coiled dragon sleeping in Malkuth—Leviathan. That this was the darkness that was tenaciously wedded to the soul or heart and clung to our very core despite all our attempts to free ourselves of this fatality. A mystery.
Now, predictably, I am comforted by the thought of it blocking out all light and bliss. Because light and bliss are good things if only a fraction of the stories be true.
Of course, there are ideas that all well-read Thelimites are familiar with: i.e. that perfect light that appears as darkness, and how at some point even bliss is an ugly sore on a more perfect peace. Perhaps, but I ask myself, how can anyone, in all honesty and self respect, just assert these things and walk away from the struggle? The idea of these simple explanations seems so unsatisfactory to me.
I have composed a little prayer as a response to today's meditation:
May I continue to break things, and may I not relinquish this tremendous struggle—blind, obsessive desire, the fatal attraction for dissatisfaction—the dry-humping frustration that seems the rightest, truest, most honest thing I have found to date. And if this has to change, then may this change be unequivocal, conceptually violent and stark, and my sense of wrong in my old ways be deep deep deep. Lord, you are, in this moment, my sulfur, hot and dry. Because of you I am stubborn and blind. Wind Thy coils closer about me, so that no light nor bliss may penetrate.
Love and Will
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52.
53. I am the heart, and Thou the serpent. Wind Thy coils closer about me, so that no light nor bliss may penetrate.wind 1 (wnd)
n.
1.a. Moving air, especially a natural and perceptible movement of air parallel to or along the ground.
b. A movement of air generated artificially, as by bellows or a fan.2.a. The direction from which a movement of air comes: The wind is north-northwest.
b. A movement of air coming from one of the four cardinal points of the compass: the four winds.- Moving air carrying sound, an odor, or a scent.
4.a. Breath, especially normal or adequate breathing; respiration: had the wind knocked out of them.
b. Gas produced in the stomach or intestines during digestion; flatulence.- Music
a. The brass and woodwinds sections of a band or orchestra. Often used in the plural.
b. Wind instruments or their players considered as a group. Often used in the plural.
c. Woodwinds. Often used in the plural.
6.a. Something that disrupts or destroys: the winds of war.
b. A tendency; a trend: the winds of change.
7. Information, especially of something concealed; intimation: Trouble will ensue if wind of this scandal gets out.8.a. Speech or writing empty of meaning; verbiage: His remarks on the subject are nothing but wind.
b. Vain self-importance; pomposity: an expert who was full of wind even before becoming famous.wind 2 (wnd)
v. wound (wound), wind·ing, winds
v.tr.-
To wrap (something) around a center or another object once or repeatedly: wind string around a spool.
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To wrap or encircle (an object) in a series of coils; entwine: wound her injured leg with a bandage; wound the waist of the gown with lace and ribbons.
3.a. To go along (a curving or twisting course): wind a path through the mountains.
b. To proceed on (one's way) with a curving or twisting course.-
To introduce in a disguised or devious manner; insinuate: He wound a plea for money into his letter.
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To turn (a crank, for example) in a series of circular motions.
6.a. To coil the spring of (a mechanism) by turning a stem or cord, for example: wind a watch.
b. To coil (thread, for example), as onto a spool or into a ball.
c. To remove or unwind (thread, for example), as from a spool: wound the line off the reel.-
To lift or haul by means of a windlass or winch: Wind the pail to the top of the well.
v.intr. -
To move in or have a curving or twisting course: a river winding through a valley.
2.a. To move in or have a spiral or circular course: a column of smoke winding into the sky.
b. To be coiled or spiraled: The vine wound about the trellis.-
To be twisted or whorled into curved forms.
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To proceed misleadingly or insidiously in discourse or conduct.
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To become wound: a clock that winds with difficulty.
n.
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The act of winding.
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A single turn, twist, or curve.
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"I am two. I am one. I am not."
LOVE LOVE LOVE IT
"I am the heart, and Thou the serpent."
"I am two."
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"Wind Thy coils closer about me,"
"I am one."
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"so that no light nor bliss may penetrate."
"I am not."
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Aum. Ha.
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All I can say is WOW. I cannot add any more
