What happens...
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93,
Well, let's define 'failure'. Not everyone who takes an initiation makes it to the K&C. Many people feel frustrated with their own progress years or decades after they've begun. Point is, sheer persistence is itself a success.
Real failure, I suspect, comes from setting ourselves up for some impossible task, and refusing to heed any inner hints that (for example) "Ahem, declaring you're going to be 7=4 within 10 years might not be a realistic goal."
Real success would lie in accepting that the HGA has its own itinerary. And if we learn to heed that, and work with it, even when it seems like we're going nowhere, we might get further than we think we are able to go on those bad days when we're convinced our whole path is a crock.
I think damnation is an absurd idea. Receiving infinite punishment for a finite negative choice or action, however awful or stupid, implies a cosmos hopelessly out of whack with itself. As for oblivion and reincarnation, I suspect the latter, but have no externally verifiable proofs I could offer. Oblivion seems to go against observable natural law - things don't just stop and cease to exist. They simply change state.
I think no serious effort at personal or spiritual growth is wasted, even though just what it has actually accomplished might not be clear to us until we truly know what we are, and what we are doing.
93 93/93,
EM
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When someone evokes kundalini naively...
and buys into all the syncronicites, delusions, temporary psychosis, angry and egotistical psychosis etc for a very long time
and then as a result gets twitches, bubbling all over the body and some pains...
I fell for all these deceptions...all of the temptations...
What is to become of me?
All feedback is appreciated.
Blessings... -
As long as you realize what you've done, why not start over? Get back on track by grounding yourself out with your daily devotions and nothing else. If you do LBRP, Resh, Will, and the Diary for a good 6 months... or even a year if that's what it takes, I think a person can get themself back on track.
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@anyone said
"When someone evokes kundalini naively...
and buys into all the syncronicites, delusions, temporary psychosis, angry and egotistical psychosis etc for a very long time
and then as a result gets twitches, bubbling all over the body and some pains...
I fell for all these deceptions...all of the temptations...
What is to become of me?"
Move on. Apply what you've learned. If you are still having body symptoms, there are different ways to stabilize them but you should be under someone's direct monitoring for a while in that case. Having nothing particular to go on, I'd recommend the basics: 15-30 minutes once or twice a day of systematic physical relaxation and either quietly witnessing your breath or very low-pressure, non-strenuous rhythmic breathing (whichever helps more).
And especially get at least 6 months of psychotherapy to help adjust to the significant psychological changes that came with this.
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I learned meditation (and a lot about Sufism) from an older book by Puran Bair (One of Hazrat Inayat Khan's pupils) Living from the Heart. Anyway, he has a blog he started with his last book and it's an excellent source of advice for meditation. He has answered similar questions about evoking kundalini naively a few times:
www.energizeyourheart.com/blog/archives/87
www.energizeyourheart.com/blog/archives/86
www.energizeyourheart.com/blog/archives/70
www.energizeyourheart.com/blog/archives/16
If you've done Heart Rhythm meditation before, use the water breath and start with about 8 Heart Beats in and 8 out. It's basically downward meditation focused on your heart.