Family death
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93,
A couple of extra thoughts. We reject pity out of anger - the anger side of a close relative dying is one of the most difficult things. It spills all over the other areas of our lives, and the danger is, it can get thrown onto someone who just happens to be around, like a friend or a spouse.
The pity we're shown can be just someone wanting to feel helpful, not shoved aside. What else can other people offer us than apparent pity? Ouija board messages from the departed?
The hardest thing I found after three family deaths in eight months was the fact I didn't *have *anything to say, other than a kind of incoherent scream. When I went through counselling (there are groups that offer it for free, or for a nominal charge, and I do recommend this provided they're not openly religious), that was the key thing that came out from most of the men - the big, yawning Nothing. Talking about that helped me begin to feel half sane again.
93 93/93,
Edward
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I lost my father about 2 years ago and I had some rather interesting and emotional psychic experiences. I know this is not exactly on topic, but I was wondering if others have had the same and what they think of these experiences.
Personally I used to be kind of skeptical of perceiving the deceased psychically but there were some indicators that some of the details did not originate from "my own mind" so to speak. I don't want to go into too much detail but it's the kind of argument Crowley uses for asserting that Aiwass could not have originated within his own mind...let's say certain elements were "foreign" and unexpected although if I'm brutally analytical about it I would have to say it's not impossible these did not originate in my own mind.
One of these was a sort of intuitive feeling that my father was saying goodbye...that he could no longer "visit" as he was moving on to some other plane or something. I later read in The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying (The modern adapted work based on the original medieval work) about the 49 day period after which the "soul" moves into another bardo, and this timeframe was very precise. Another unexpected element was that it was as though his "persona" had been dropped, and I experienced a side of him that was quite unlike his day-to-day self...of course it still correlated with aspects of his personality, but those that one rarely sees.
At other times I think that some of those experiences where just a part of the grieving process.
Just wondering if others have had similar experiences and whether they correlate with my own observations.
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ModernPrimitive, 93,
I didn't get many specifics about my father-in-law's death, because of the iffy state of family politics at that time. At one point, shortly after another family death, I meditated on him, and had a strong sense he was trying to figure out if he was 'really' dead. And he seemed like he was trying to wriggle out of a huge knot of tangle of ropes holding him. This appeared to terrify him.
I finally learned he'd been feverish in hospital, and was thrashing around. They'd given him a drug that physically paralyzed him. He'd been in with a kind of pneumonia, but while in this paralyzed state he had a stroke that wasn't detected till too late, and he died after a couple more days.
I surmise he had come to, and panicked, thinking he'd lost his ability to move, or was actually scared to be 'dead' yet hearing sounds still. There were other details at the time that apparently corroborated this - sorry, but it's been 25 years, and I don't recall specifics.
Closeness to death does seem to open some psychic doorways that we normally keep closed.
93 93/93,
Edward
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Thanks Edward,
By some strange "miracle" my own father's belief system seemed to have rescued him from some kinds of torment. When he first appeared to me, very childlike and quite unlike his normal "kingly" self (He was a King in life, albeit of the Niezschean type) there was an angel beside him and this angel strangely enough took the form of one of those old Catholic paintings, quite unlike the Hollywood way in which I personally visualize angels.
Anyway, that aside, you're quite right about opening psychic doorways. On one occasion when it felt like he had come to tell me something, after I opened myself to it, within a few seconds I had a young little boy and communicating to me as well as a middle-aged man, both with "urgent messages". I got a bit of a fright and decided that I sure as hell didn't want to go there so "chased them all away" and closed up immediately. It was as though I'd opened up some "portal". I remembered Crowley's mention of the auras of spiritualists!
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The only comfort I ever had is that we are all going the same way.
My grandfather died several years ago. 3 months ago I was at his grave together with my family. The same night I had an intense encounter with him in a dream. He was all light, but he looked like himself during what I believe to be his best years. It was short, but it was an intense, loving encounter that felt real to the bones. Woke up crying and couldnt stop until an hour later. First time experience. People I talk to about it think it was a real encounter.
I never payd much attention to my dreams, but when I started out paying attention to my real needs again...things have changed.
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@Limb said
"The same night I had an intense encounter with him in a dream. He was all light, but he looked like himself during what I believe to be his best years. "
That is interesting. My wife had many dreams around this time and she said the same thing....my father was always a good 15-20 years younger in the dreams (and she didn't even know him at that age, she had merely seen photographs.) In the few dreams that I remembered he was also a lot younger. (Most of my "psychic encounters" lacked a specific and detailed visual component.)
Oh yes, even my mother-in-law dreamed about him and she he also looked younger. In fact she had commented in the dream how fantastic he looked and he replied with something along the lines of how wonderful he felt and that they should consider joining him! LOL!
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Right after my grandpa died (I was with him when he died, and AUMGNd for him while he passed), he visited me for a few weeks. He had dementia the last few years, but was also younger and coherent in my dreams. (although, he did tell me, cryptically, to remember the Maldives, and I still don't know what he's talking about...)
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@AvshalomBinyamin said
"Right after my grandpa died (I was with him when he died, and AUMGNd for him while he passed), he visited me for a few weeks. He had dementia the last few years, but was also younger and coherent in my dreams. (although, he did tell me, cryptically, to remember the Maldives, and I still don't know what he's talking about...)"
From wikipedia:
"The atolls of Maldives encompass a territory spread over roughly 90,000 square kilometers, making it one of the most disparate countries in the world. It features 1,192 islets, of which two hundred are inhabited. "
He's most likely kickin' back, sipping a martini with a little umbrella in it, a native girl at each arm. The afterlife must not be so bad after all...
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yes, I knew what the Maldives were, just not the relevance...
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Thrill with the Joy of Life and Death!