Know Thy Self

Corvinae

Alrah stated...

"I needed to do X for my path". You hear it a lot these days.

(I'm not getting at your Sis btw, Veronica) - I'm just interested in the fact that all the things that people need to do for thier path always seem very self-indulgent! Astrology charts, past life progression, going vegetarian, etc.etc.

You never hear anyone saying stuff like "You know - I used to feel I was superior to other people just because I had more than them, and so I went to do voluntary work in a homeless shelter for my path."

Or "I used to be really vain and concerned far more with what to people looked like than who they were inside - so I started working in an old peoples home and I learned to respect some different perspectives aquired through age and experience - and this was really necessary for my path."

Well - maybe this ought to be discussed on a different thread."

And so it shall.....

Years ago a book fell off the stacks of GoodWill at me. It was a book I had been told years ago to read. My friend Dan was taking Political Science course work, and was reading this book that he swore I would love. I didnt read it then, I had my own course work to do, I wasnt about to read his homework so he could pick my brain.... But this day when it fell upon me and I remembered him telling me about it, I decided that now was a good time, I paid the .50$ and so I read it. I have probably read the book 50 times by now. To me it is a sacred text. On the first few pages of the book we meet the main charater, a man who has been questing his whole life for a teacher to teach him the ways of the world. There was one sentence in particular that seemed like a huge slap in my face. For I too had been searching for someone to teach me why the world was the way it is.

"I didnt want a guru or a kung fu master or a spiritual director. I didnt want to become a sorcerer or learn the art of zen or archery or meditate or align my chakras or uncover past incarnation. Arts and disciplines of that kind are fundamentally sellfish; they are somthing designed too benefift the pupil- not the world. I was after something esle entirely, but it wasnt in the Yellow Pages or anywhere esle that I could discover." Ishmael by Daniel Quinn pg.5

Yea, that hurt a bit. Two fold. I had delved into learning the so called arts. I had disciplined myself to the max, and yet I still felt off. These words also hurt because I hadnt realized that I was being selfish in doing so. At the time the arts I was studying seemed like the best place for me to start with out having an actual teacher to guide me. I did it alone, reading books, writing, studying, things about me, about my ideas, my philosophy, my perspective. I saught to know who I was, where my heritage was from, what was my history. I embraced myself and thought that by knowing myself in and out I would become a better person, and I believed that the world needed better people. I honestly and earnestly had been working at forging a strong relationship with Gods and Goddesses, Spirits and Sprites, Aliens and Monsters......whatever you want to call materialised energies, manifestions of the the Universal Life Force, The Cosmos, AUM, et al. I knew that I was a part of something, even though I could hardly grasp what it was. This knowing that I was a part, not apart , and lots of spare time (thanks Modern Technology) stirred in me and in a way started me upon my path, up and out.

Up and Out, the only button Willy Wonka hadnt ever pushed in his Great Glass Elevator. Up and Out, Willy went when Charlie tried the button for the first time. I do believe that Ronald Dahl knows quite a bit about magick and the way things are, his children books are first class. Up and out, like a warm, wet seed striving to burst forth into something else. That is how I felt when I first started my path to "Know Thyself". I recall a quote that claims that the unobserved life is not worth living. Or soemthing to that effect. I started on my path to self discovery, in the hope of reaching a goal. Little did know back then, that it is the journey, not the desination that matters most. We all will arrive, but how did we travel? I picked up tricks and tools to help me clear my way, so that I too can still go up and out like my dna requires. I saw a show in which it was told that neanderthals used the same tools for thousands of years, never changing the tool becuase they didnt need too. To survive all they needed was a small tool kit of bones and rocks some sinew and sticks. They lived sucessfully for thousands of years. yet for some reason I felt compelled that I needed to have a chakra balancing certificate?? In our effort to learn who we are and where we come from we developed our egos.

Now Ego's get a bad rap now a days. For good reason, so many people have weak, sick, twisted egos in todays world. When I say weak I mean unhealthy, un balanced, un harmonious. We need to have a healthy ego, one that allows you to say, silently I am here, I am worthy (or maybe not so silently in some situations). I am having issue with this right now in my personal life. I have two small kids (9 & 7) and a puppy and 2 dogs. I am struggling to communicate to my kids that commanding and controling the dogs is not cruelty but necessary to the family, and that they need to have the inner strenght to command the dogs if need be and have the dogs obey. If I didnt have a strong ego the dogs would ruin the home. If I dont have a strong ego, I get taken advantage of.... be it in line at the deli, standing in line at a buffet, or confronting an attacker on the street.

I had felt for a long time that this world I was in was very very wrong. That people just werent supposed to be living this way. I felt apart from my creator. I did not feel as if my lifestyle was living in accordance, in harmony, with the universal laws that I had learned. (This language by the way is not coinidentally referring to vibrational patterns, specifically music and resonance.) I was out of tune, and wanted a tune up. So I trod my path, my spiritual quest to find my heritage. This heritage that had become obscure and elusive to me. I became convinced that it was my choices and will that got me where I was, and I was hell bent on making choices so I didnt have to be back in this world again. I was selfishly desiring to get to the top, to get out of this bag of bones and get on with the real. My ego told me I was all that and a bag of chip, and well my astrology report said so too, and my numerology, and my tarot readings, and my palmisty, and my phrenology......well I was an all around rock star! But wait, if I look at your charts you are a rock Star too....whats going on here. We are all Rock Stars, and the sooner I got this into my being the better.

For some wonderful reason the universe always gives you what you ask for. If you ask for strenght, you get situation in whihc you have to be strong, if you ask for love you get opportunities to show love, if you ask for peace you will have to get war so you can expierence the peace after wards. So I walked my path and picked up some tools on the way. I learned how to run a library, how to organize school kids, I learned how to cook for an army, and shop wisely. I consciously made an effort to learn from each expierence I was in, from each and very person I encountered. I had asked for a way up and out, and found myself entangled within. Or so it seemed on the surface. As I have walked around my path I have found value in something I didnt know existed. I was able to see the good in the evil. The mundane parts of life, the washing that never ends, the plates that are always looking for food, the clothes that need mending, the home that needs care all of these acts of being a part of society were things that I shunned and had been repulsed by. The day to day seemed so boring, but it was the acts of doing these selfless acts for others, these acts of service to others that I became able to see past what was wrong with the world, and see what was right. I learned to change my perspective of my path.

I could tell you stories of how while washing my dishes I untangled the etheric web of delusion and lies and rewove my life. I have done more constructive character work in the service of others then before any alter to the Gods. I have humbled myself out of love and a desire to see someone elses sucess in ways I never thought possible. I do believe that being a service to others and helping each other out is what we are here for, and I know it is who I am. Unfortunately my incident washing up my child after a flu isnt very dramatic, it isnt something I would share with a stranger. Yet my ego instructs me that my tools are good tools, and that I should share them with others. So while I may be looking a reading for a friend I can relay the understanding I recieved during the flu incident and convey its lesson to her, to possibly help her on her path. I had asked for a magickal path, for teachers, and students and what I got was just what I asked for.

Now I realize that I have never been in a true tribal society, my own family clan is an American hodge podge with no real cultural bonding. Even though I am primarily English/Irish, I have no clear idea what it means to be English or Irish. Yet my inner being does have a cultural awareness. My dna knows who I am and what my potential is. Not only is my family American, it is dysfunctional. I grew up in a home of addicts and alcholics. This behavior is the extreme of selfishness. In tradtional tribal societies, selfishness is death for thet tribe. While an individual is acknoweldged as being special and unique, that person has a specific place in the tribal hierachy. There is a value to each persons role. Each day there is serious survival work to be done, food stuff prepared, clothes and shelter maintained, children reared, cleaning, just like today except that our ancestors didnt have the option as we do today in technologies to aid us in our tasks. For example, in a tribe the parents (the hunters and gatherers) eat the best, most and first of the food. this is becuase the parents insure the survival of the family unit. It is not a selfish act, but one of survival for the whole clan. In todays modern American style (dare I say Capitalistic Counties??or just possibly all Totalitarian Agricultural Societies?) often you find the children eating before the parents, the childrens needs (ie Sally needs to join scouting, skating, ball activities to fit in and mature) are placed at highest priorites in stead of the whole unit, and espically the parents. Go into any Mc Donalds and observe for a while the interactions between the parents and kids and you will be gaurented to see many instances of the children dictating to the parents, and the parents cow toeing to them! This behavior would never survive in a tribe that relied on each other for survival. There are many movies that show people lost in the wild and how one persons act of selfishness can destry the whole unit.

As life evolved and tribes became larger and more prosperpous human kind had more free time. Well this free time is when we started asking the big questions, WHo am I , why am I here, what is m y purpose in life? These questions in a close nit tribal life are answered quickly, no room for question, you are an intergral part of a whole. Yet as humanity expanded and family life became more vast and distant we became unsure of our selves. (IMO this is bound to happen because of the effects of division of labor, agriculture, and wealth.) Insecurity leads to action, or fear. Action to change the situation, fear of seperation. When we realize that our path has mundane as well as magickal aspects and we become able to share more readibly our understandings and our talents, our lives will improve, all of our lives.

I have met some brilliant stars who shared thier passions with me, the passion they hold as they walk thier path. People have so many interests so many things to hold thier attention and passion. In working with people in the library I have seen the spark of life in the eyes of little girls who want to learn to knit, or grandfather who spend thier days building model ships. The focus, and desire held in the hearts and minds of these regular folks is stronger then some of the magickal/spiritual folks I meet at psychic faires. Those people at the Faires trump thier egos often times, seeming to thet public to be at each other to one up themselves. ( I know many in the new age fields who seem to collect certifications, yet whoes lives are chaos and miserable). Step into a comic book convention and the energies litterally can bring you into other dimensions! Its the passion and love people have for what they are doing and the value it has overall that makes the difference. I would much rather here a story about someones love of leaf printing and collecting then an account of a dowsing expierement to prove ones psychic abilites any day. So while I know I throw about the term, ones path often enough I rejoice in knowing that people still do have passion for things, be it mundane hobbies or magickal hermetic harmonies. I am glad that people are on a path, looking around and living. For at least in my neck of the world it seems as if more and more people are falling asleep.

Avshalom Binyamin

kudos to you

Corvinae

I am glad you liked it. Thank you very much for not only your kind words, but for the opportunity to shine and share. I myself have often thought about how I used to desire being a part of a magickal working group, to be Initiated, to be able to claim a vetted lineage. I love the teachings of Dion Fortune who really nailed it for me when she spoke how their was only one Initiator.

no name
emanon

I used to call myself that when I was a little girl:)
It was my secret name for myself.

Corvinae

@Iugum said

"
"For some wonderful reason the universe always gives you what you ask for. If you ask for strenght, you get situation in whihc you have to be strong, if you ask for love you get opportunities to show love, if you ask for peace you will have to get war so you can expierence the peace after wards."

This reminds me of the exact same thing, especially the love and strength parts which is word for word from the movie, in which "God" said in the (dumb) movie "Evan Almighty" in the scene where his wife is sitting at a restaurant and God talks to her."

God is quoting Me!! I bet I didnt get credit either;)

I used to expect instant gratifaction, espically in my spellwork. I had a hard time wrapping my brain around the concept of time (poor sentence I know).

Last year when I visited Griffith Observatory in LA, I had my Sister take a picture of me. Outside the building, in the ground in concrete and metalbanding is our solar system, the paths of the planets incorporated in the pathway, with the sun right in the middle. So I stood there, right in the middle and had her take my picture, so that I could show anyone who doubted me, that the worlds do revolve around me.....
Of course I also had her take a picture of me sitting on Einsteins lap, giving him some tounge....

I recently started watching Carl Sagan's Cosmos series from the 70's (thank you netflicks!), I know that this concept had been discussed elsewhere, but he showed a "cosmic" calander. In this calendar he demonstrated time, as a year in our life. The whole life of humans was in the very last day (12-31) and our "achievements" such as agriculture were mere seconds in relation to all of time.

So when I think a spell/working/event should take place I need to remember that all is relative and perspective is everything.

Thank you for the feedback BTW, I will have to check out Evan and hear what God has to say for myself.