Signs of Initiation in prior incarnations
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93 all.
For awhile, I've had this pretty strong hunch that I've followed the Path in at least one prior incarnation. I've believed this for several reasons:
- I grasp things very quickly, in almost any field.
- I came to a lot of the conclusions that Thelema asserts as truths of my own accord, by my own research and synthesis. Before I discovered Thelema, I was sure I was "close to having the answer." (I was right in a way I didn't expect.)
- I've been "searching for the answer" first and foremost for basically my entire life, at the expense of almost everything else. (Not everything, but nearly everything.) I believe more and more that this is the "answer" to how I perceived the Law of Sorrow, perceived in a very juvenile and totally selfish sense.
- I've affected events in my life by, more or less, making up methods of telling the universe what I wanted and then watching it happen, with no Magical research done. (They don't resemble actual ceremonies and have been rare, but potent, even surprising.) These have involved some very surprising successes that happened against all odds. (I'll elaborate if anyone is interested, but it's not important for the sake of this post.)
- I messed around with psionics for awhile a few years back, and had some remarkable successes in the areas of clairvoyance, precognition, and energy manipulation/psi construct building. (These abilities have since atrophied, to my general indifference; the only exception is energy manipulation, which I still use occasionally for various protective purposes.)
Are there any general signs or ways of deducing that this is not the first incarnation in which one has sought Initiation of some type? Do the points that I've listed suggest this, or am I getting over-excited?
I know the best way is to develop the Magical Memory, but I am a very long way off from doing this, and any attempts at remembering past lives so far have ended up with lots of psychological crap related completely to this life.
To be honest, I'm just curious what everyone's thoughts are.
93, 93/93
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The points you listed do seem to point in that direction, yes. They make a strong inference.
The single best indicator, though, occurs after one accepts initiation. If we've been over the ground before, then we are recapitulating, and that recapping tends to go very quickly.
That isn't a perfect rule - karmic considerations, for example, can bring ordeals to a head in the current lifetime when they were allowed to lie unaddressed in an earlier one. But, in general, the above rule stands.
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Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.
Greetings Ash,
This is my first post but I like to lurk and read these forums. Jim, since you posted above: Hello to you as well! Your books are fantastic and have helped me in many ways, especially in the last few months. I'm foaming at the mouth for V&V; I've been waiting on it since you first announced it!
Ash, your post is literally word for word the way I feel and have felt these last five years of my life. This year I have been trying to put the left-turn my life took into a proper context and framework. My life suddenly exploded down the mystical/magickal path (slowly but surely) when I was about 23 years old. After this took place, many of my initiations consisted less about learning "new things", per se, but UN-learning things; less about becoming "something new", and more about UN-becoming the human identity and ego I was/am (ahh, language...). To let the light shine through, and to balance all of this in my being. Or as Crowley would put it, making the veils a little less opaque. It has been a great ride, with the realization slowly dawning on me that this is not the first time I have done this. I personally feel that I am being drawn BACK to Thelema and magick, rather than discovering it for the first time. Just as you said, certain things are being absorbed and assimilated far too quickly than they 'should'. Others, on the other hand, feel like tackling a new problem.
In the beginning, the way I felt (in my first shaky steps) was that the things I was coming across, or drawing towards me, or feeling pulled towards was more like a re-awakening rather than me studying and learning something for the first time. There is a very distinct feeling to this, which I'm sure we've all felt at times. Thelema in particular was sort of 'standing by', shining briefly here and there, and it felt like I was putting the pieces back together; like I was given a puzzle but the key was withheld until I was able to use it.
I am since quite confident that "I have done this before" without knowing specific details. I just...know it. It's taken some time, but I now have a very good idea of where I'm at NOW and from that I have a better view of my life as a whole -- past and future.
At the same time, after filling in the spaces that have been stretched open inside me (for lack of a better description) in such a relatively short span of time, I see more clearly certain 'heavy areas' or 'dark spots' which are things I need to address or work on. This leads me to believe that I am continuing work that wasn't addressed or completed in a previous incarnation(s). Or, as Jim said, these could be karmic in nature. Either way, this re-awakening can sometimes grant new solutions to old problems or provide what is needed to address whatever karmic issue is 'scheduled' for this incarnation.
Another thing I have always known --without understanding WHY or HOW I knew this-- is that despite this 'spiritual left-turn' that seemed to de-rail my life, I was never "retreating from the world" to be some spiritual hermit on his mountain. Rather, I knew that I was going into a period of gestation; waiting to be 're-born', if that makes sense. I didn't understand this in the past, but I fully understand it now that the wires have re-connected and I have (re)achieved K&C.
To make one more point, I have had the pronounced feeling of doing things 'backwards' or in 'reverse'. In terms of the mystical/magickal path, it has distinctly felt like I was re-working my way to a point that I have already reached; hence the 'backwards'/'reverse' feeling.
I know I keep pretty much saying the same thing in different ways, but I just thought I would share these points of view in case anyone else has their own creeping suspicions.
Good day, all.
Love is the law, love under will.
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@pharos said
"My life suddenly exploded down the mystical/magical path (slowly but surely) when I was about 23 years old. After this took place, many of my initiations consisted less about learning "new things", per se, but UN-learning things; less about becoming "something new", and more about UN-becoming the human identity and ego I was/am (ahh, language...). To let the light shine through, and to balance all of this in my being. Or as Crowley would put it, making the veils a little less opaque. It has been a great ride, with the realization slowly dawning on me that this is not the first time I have done this. I personally feel that I am being drawn BACK to Thelema and magick, rather than discovering it for the first time. Just as you said, certain things are being absorbed and assimilated far too quickly than they 'should'. Others, on the other hand, feel like tackling a new problem."
I have felt this too. I used to be extremely afraid of Magick when I was younger - probably from experiences in a previous lifetime mixed with my Christian worldview. I was afraid because I felt drawn very strongly toward it.
I have also felt that I've been making the veils less opaque - my journal uses phrases such as this in many places (of course they came from my reading of Crowley; I didn't accidently use the same metaphors!). I feel like I'm still so young that I haven't had all that much conditioning in this life, and as such have come a very long way in understanding myself in a very short amount of time. In other words, there aren't many layers for me to dig through compared to someone starting this in their mid-30's.
My "Thelemic explosion" took place this year (I'm 20, going on 21 next week). I actually discussed it in a thread on the Mysticism board titled "Making Contact."
(There were prior "explosions" to this, but none were even remotely as spiritually-oriented - they were knowledge-based explosions, floods of understanding that didn't appear wholly new to me. Most were tainted with a very juvenile apprehension and obsession with the Law of Sorrow.)@pharos said
"Another thing I have always known --without understanding WHY or HOW I knew this-- is that despite this 'spiritual left-turn' that seemed to de-rail my life, I was never "retreating from the world" to be some spiritual hermit on his mountain. Rather, I knew that I was going into a period of gestation; waiting to be 're-born', if that makes sense. I didn't understand this in the past, but I fully understand it now that the wires have re-connected and I have (re)achieved K&C.
To make one more point, I have had the pronounced feeling of doing things 'backwards' or in 'reverse'. In terms of the mystical/magical path, it has distinctly felt like I was re-working my way to a point that I have already reached; hence the 'backwards'/'reverse' feeling."
I have also experienced prolonged periods of gestation; in fact, I feel as though I am only really beginning to finally come out of the biggest one I've ever gone through - it started when I was about 15 and I'm still in the "coming out" phase, almost 21! The nature of the gestation was one of deep but insincere (i.e. some part of me still rejected it) depression, intentional dive into teenage darkness and suicidal ideation, etc.
I also feel like I've been doing things backwards. It's remarkable that you bring that up - that's another point I could've added to list in the first post on this thread, had I remembered it when I made that list! (Another giant one I forgot was "I'm pretty sure I've made some primitive form of contact with my HGA." I have no idea how that didn't end up on the list, but I suppose I'm getting more tight-lipped about things like that.)
"Doing things backwards" appears to me to be recapitulation, I think, in both a spiritual and literal sense - I am literally becoming more and more like an adult version of who I was as a kid, and less and less like how I was as a teenager (though that streak still runs through me). I feel like I am "re-realizing" basically everything I've come across in this life - none of it feels like new ground yet, aside from Karmic struggles (one of which is learning to understand this particular personality and deal with all of its issues).
I think I attained the K&C in a previous life, but I'm not positive yet, and it doesn't matter a whole lot right now - the K&C is still far ahead from where I stand now, and I just have to put one foot in front of the other. Dwelling on the impression that I did that in a previous life is only going to de-rail my Work in this life, but the impression does stand nonetheless.
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93
Hello again,@Ash said
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I also feel like I've been doing things backwards. It's remarkable that you bring that up - that's another point I could've added to list in the first post on this thread, had I remembered it when I made that list! (Another giant one I forgot was "I'm pretty sure I've made some primitive form of contact with my HGA." I have no idea how that didn't end up on the list, but I suppose I'm getting more tight-lipped about things like that.)"Since you brought this up, I would theorize (and I'm not an expert so correct me if I'm wrong) that this 'primitive contact' is both a common thing and an ongoing development, even from the earliest stages. At least, this was the case for me. I can only speak from my experience, but I spent a great deal of time trying to understand 'where' this contact was coming from, to say nothing of the 'why', 'who', 'when', 'how', etc. Its actually quite embarrassing when I look back on it all...
But without working in a brilliantly designed system like A.'.A.'. with a framework of the Qabalah, with teachers, etc... how else is one to proceed except through blind trial and error? That's the best way to learn, at least in my opinion. I'm a self-taught musician (again, it pours out of me like I've already done it before) and my approach to some other disciplines or areas of study are the same: always 'backwards'. I learned to play by ear and by hand, I can barely read music, and 80% of the time I couldn't tell you what chord I'm playing (but since I love to play jazz and bossa nova, those chords have some serious names anyway
)Let me make some statements on A.'.A.'. and my discovery of it to further explore this reverse/backwards feeling we're both familiar with.
I have great respect for the A.'.A.'. system, which is something I discovered WEELLLL into my Path. In fact I was completely blown away by it. Here was something that described just about everything I had been through, and was going through at the time of discovering it, was worked out a century before, and held advice for sound, further development. At last I had a map whereby I could try and match my own experiences that seemed to weave in and out of this mystical/magickal system, unbenownst to me in my blind development. To use a general example: being drawn to yoga, divination, meditation, forms of magick, Liber AL, Thelema, Qabalah, etc etc at exactly the proper 'time' that I would have been practicing and studying them had I been in A.'.A.'. from the get-go as a proper student.
Once I had the 'map', I was able to put my prior experience into a context that not only made sense, it was a very, VERY close fit. At the time of seeing these correlations, I was affected deeply and I started to re-examine my life. I was surprised to see that where I seemed to absorb or grasp information or practices far quicker than I should have, or where in some cases the end result of those practices were manifested through a different manner, the exact symbolism and correspondences of the path in question would be scattered like a buckshot all over my life-situation for however long it took me to 'get it' (sometimes weeks, months, years, etc). And when I did get it, the same symbolism and "welcoming experience" of the next Sephirah was there as well...both within and without my being. (and I am speaking very generally, here)
Needless to say, I sat up very straight in my chair and started paying attention.
I took out the proverbial magnifying glass and went to work on my life and my spiritual development in particular, noting the 'synchronicities' and blatant guidance and hand-holding. The picture began to form as I neared what I was being led to.The initial shock of seeing this all fall into place was enough of a jolt to take things up a notch, so-to-speak. It was around this time that I started to ask myself if I have done this before. It wasn't that cut and dry of course, and there's many questions I still have, but I've never known such a peace of mind, cohesion, confidence, or sense of being 'at home' with both my spiritual path, and with myself (which are, of course, the same thing).
Disclaimer: I am not officially --as in physically, on paper-- a member of A.'.A.'. Nor do I go around claiming to be a member, despite my own experiences, spiritual initiations, correlations, and being led to the doorstep of this system. In fact, I have some questions of my own about this major "life synchronicity" which I may ask, when the time is right. I might have to pick Jim's brain on this one.
"I think I attained the K&C in a previous life, but I'm not positive yet, and it doesn't matter a whole lot right now - the K&C is still far ahead from where I stand now, and I just have to put one foot in front of the other. Dwelling on the impression that I did that in a previous life is only going to de-rail my Work in this life, but the impression does stand nonetheless."
Good point and a good approach. If I might offer some advice on this, I would say put the "I think I attained in a previous life" question on hold until or if you (re)attain in this one. This will be your proof, either way. There is something specific I'm speaking of, and you will know what I mean by this. Don't shut down what you feel to be true, but rather, like you said: continue your Work from the point of view of this incarnation until the appropriate time. At least, that would be my approach. (and is!)
Best wishes.
93 93/93 -
There is a method you can use during astral projection to answer this question but this method is only given to initiates. However, A.C. provides a method using meditation. When you meditate train your mind to think backwards. If you start with the memories of what u know and work backwards, you can eventually access past memories. The hardest part of this is breaking through the death memory.
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I was thinking about this and something came to mind. If after u have an initiation(either spiritual, astral, or physical) and u do not experience an Ordeal before ur enlightenment then u have already attained that grade/degree in a previous life.
Hope this helps:)
