24 May - (Air) Liber LXV, 2:33-34
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33. Ah! messenger of the beloved One, let Thy shadow be over me!
34. Thy name is Death, it may be, or Shame, or Love.
So thou bringest me tidings of the Beloved One, I shall not ask thy name. -
@Liber 65, II said
"**33. Ah! messenger of the beloved One, let Thy shadow be over me!
- Thy name is Death, it may be, or Shame, or Love.
So thou bringest me tidings of the Beloved One, I shall not ask thy name.**"
this has always had a profound resonance with me...
I feel it like Gimel of the Yetzirah
complete surrender of Ruach
extatic dissolution... - Thy name is Death, it may be, or Shame, or Love.
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An appeal for Spirit (Universal Consciousness / Beloved One = Jechidah, Messanger = Chiah, Shadow = Neschamah) to destroy Ego (Personal Consciousness, "I",) whether through Death, Shame, or Love.
Practices may include:
- Death = la petite mort
- Shame = Robert Anton Wilson's Cosmic Shmuck Principle
- Love = bhakti yoga
However, while these exercises are useful, we must be open enough (cup) to accept the lessons that life brings us constantly. Therefor, while at first glance I see this as an appeal to the Eagle ("Father of the Gods, also the highest form of Magical Life, and the Lordship of Air, i.e., power to rule the world of thoughts" - Crowley)... upon further reflection I see this also as an appeal to one's self to be open to the experience (course it gets a bit tricky figuring out where one ends and the other begins
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I feel I am at something of an impasse with these meditations. Maybe this has something to do with the element air, and the incestuous relationships I experience between images.
I kind of half promised myself to keep up some kind of involvement with the postings everyday, but the problem with half promises is that you never really made that contractual commitment with oneself, so it's possible to abandon the effort. It's an uncomfortable grey zone.
I guess the idea of continuing fills me with a greater discomfort than the grey zone. The possibilities mock me, though I keep coming back to the thought that I need to know what I'm doing before I can do it. At the same time I know that I may just be running scared—that the desire to protect myself is the thing I should distrust. The mocking has to do with this sense that there is no real way for me to know what is right or best.
More dream images were thrown into the blender this morning and I find myself hiding in an abandoned space station, and turning off the lights in an attempt to become harder to locate. And I think, more shadows?.
Who knows, maybe I will get back to this, but at present I am just confused enough to 'step away from the rapture,' and see what that does.
Love and Will
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@RobertAllen said
"I guess the idea of continuing fills me with a greater discomfort than the grey zone."
That's usually the clearest indication that we're getting too close to a breakthrough for the current patterning of the psyche to feel comfortable.
The familiar (to the point of habitual) is processed by the hind-brain - but orienting to new conditions, facts, circumstances, etc. is handled by a part of the forebrain that is hard-wired to the amygdala - meaning, it triggers uneasiness, anxiety, or even fear.
"I keep coming back to the thought that I need to know what I'm doing before I can do it. At the same time I know that I may just be running scared—that the desire to protect myself is the thing I should distrust. At least... not with the faculties on which you normally rely.
"More dream images were thrown into the blender this morning and I find myself hiding in an abandoned space station, and turning off the lights in an attempt to become harder to locate. And I think, more shadows?"
"Wow! Priceless! You don't want YOU to be seen, yes?
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@Jim Eshelman said
"**33. Ah! messenger of the beloved One, let Thy shadow be over me!
- Thy name is Death, it may be, or Shame, or Love.
So thou bringest me tidings of the Beloved One, I shall not ask thy name.**"
It appears to me that that these verses suggest that we "make no difference between any one thing and any other," to see all things as messengers of the Beloved, and to refuse to discern between them.
On a side note:
@Jim Eshelman said
"
@RobertAllen said
"I guess the idea of continuing fills me with a greater discomfort than the grey zone."That's usually the clearest indication that we're getting too close to a breakthrough for the current patterning of the psyche to feel comfortable. "
This explains very well what I've been experiencing for the past few weeks. I sort of came to this conclusion myself, although I wasn't consciously aware of that.
93, 93/93.
- Thy name is Death, it may be, or Shame, or Love.
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Dar I believe that you have hit it right on the smacker (for me anyway). I believe this thought goes with my newest addition to www.heruraha.net/viewtopic.php?f=37&t=7395
It is like I read this thought before the newest addition.
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I get the impression of complete surrendering. I was thrown off by the death, shame, love line. Well, moreso the shame part than any of the other two. But this to me suggest the mind giving itself up to whatever is beyond it.
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@Jim Eshelman said
"
@RobertAllen said
"I keep coming back to the thought that I need to know what I'm doing before I can do it. At the same time I know that I may just be running scared—that the desire to protect myself is the thing I should distrust."At least... not with the faculties on which you normally rely.
@RobertAllen said
"More dream images were thrown into the blender this morning and I find myself hiding in an abandoned space station, and turning off the lights in an attempt to become harder to locate. And I think, more shadows?"
Wow! Priceless! You don't want YOU to be seen, yes?"
Yes, I want to hide, but I can't know if I want to escape or if I just want to become invisible—the dream requires interpretation.
There should be a word for self-bloat.
In the land of images either things are intimately interrelated, and anything goes; or they are discreet absolutes—alone and inscrutable, incapable of explaining anything to anything else...
EDIT: too many words.
Love and Will
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@RobertAllen said
" the dream requires interpretation. "
My interpretation
“hiding in” = trying to remove self
“an abandoned space station” = Empty mind
“turning off the lights” = Turning off the mind = removing all unwanted thoughts
“an attempt to become harder to locate.” = Relationship to ‘not’
“more shadows” = Still aware of self or parts of self that are not ‘not’.
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You know Robert as we progress throughout these meditations I have felt an overwhelming desire to leave some part of myself behind. Not particularly hide it but shed it and be done with it. Reading your posts today prompted me to share that with you. Hopefully it'll be of some value.