13 June - (Water) Liber LXV, 3:5-7

[Al-Shariyf]

"Memory recalls the experience of her embrace, in a time when our only real duty was as a member of the species, before the call to move beyond. Rather than demonize a prior time, we pause to remember it happily"

This was the impression I got. I could not articulate it.

I was thinking more a long the lines of remembering our indulgence in those things that once seemed real but in retrospect were merely illusions. The impression I get when I read the name "Lilith" is one of a dark, brooding woman, one that has enormous power, one that devours. I get a slight tinge of fear thinking about it. Not the kind of fear that stops one in their tracks but the kind of fear that becomes present within one self when they are confronted by something that poses a clear and present danger.

[Al-Shariyf]

"As if Lilith were the Anima perhaps?"

That's quite possible.

Hmm...wow...thanks for sending my mind in that direction...I feel something opening up

[Al-Shariyf]

"I dwell little on past lovers or their embraces. I don't miss them. A long time ago, I decided that old friends and lovers when they exit my life... it's as if they die to me. It's different if you still see or hear from them... but the vast majority of people come and go and don't keep in touch. And to me... it's as if they die then and there and I grieve deeply when they leave... and then when it is done, it is done."

I aspire to be able to handle romantic affairs in this way. I tend to be a hopeless romantic and a recent fling has come to an end, as quickly as it started, leaving me feeling completely chewed up and spit out. I don't want to be that way anymore. It doesn't work for me.

"The past is another country that cannot be revisited. The future is a mystery of expectation"

Very well said. I needed to hear this today.

[Avshalom Binyamin]

@Jim Eshelman said

"
"5. Beautiful wast thou, O Lilith, thou serpent-woman!

6. Thou wast lithe and delicious to the taste, and thy perfume was of musk mingled with ambergris.
7. Close didst thou cling with thy coils unto the heart, and it was as the joy of all the spring."

We're starting to see a bit of the woman in the boat. (Wait for it!)

Memory recalls the experience of her embrace, in a time when our only real duty was as a member of the species, before the call to move beyond. Rather than demonize a prior time, we pause to remember it happily. (The practice for today, which is especially poignant personally as I receive news that an important past lover is likely dying.)"

I'm sorry to hear about the difficult news.

But, at the same time, thank you for sharing. The combination of the past-tense in the verses, your personal news, and my own personal history have put me in a funny mood today. I feel like I am sharing in a little bitter-sweet recollection, tinged with mourning, over an archetype that I saw one face of.

Sad because another part of me is ready to let go, and that part feels compassion for the sad part, and hope.

[Jim Eshelman]

Carry that feeling, Av', into the next few verses. It will be... interesting.

[Avshalom Binyamin]

I will.

I have to say, I'm amazed at how well this Thelemic Tephilah is working. The way it's forcing us to slow down and contemplate a few verses is powerful, and has quickly become my favorite part of the forum.

And I hope this isn't too non sequiter for the fellow forum members, but here's a poem by one of my favorite poets. I read it for the first time when I was way too young to get much of it, and now it's taken on a very interesting added meaning to me.

"
A VALEDICTION OF WEEPING.
by John Donne

            LET me pour forth

My tears before thy face, whilst I stay here,
For thy face coins them, and thy stamp they bear,
And by this mintage they are something worth.
For thus they be
Pregnant of thee ;
Fruits of much grief they are, emblems of more ;
When a tear falls, that thou fall'st which it bore ;
So thou and I are nothing then, when on a divers shore.

            On a round ball

A workman, that hath copies by, can lay
An Europe, Afric, and an Asia,
And quickly make that, which was nothing, all.
So doth each tear,
Which thee doth wear,
A globe, yea world, by that impression grow,
Till thy tears mix'd with mine do overflow
This world, by waters sent from thee, my heaven dissolvèd so.

            O ! more than moon,

Draw not up seas to drown me in thy sphere ;
Weep me not dead, in thine arms, but forbear
To teach the sea, what it may do too soon ;
Let not the wind
Example find
To do me more harm than it purposeth :
Since thou and I sigh one another's breath,
Whoe'er sighs most is cruellest, and hastes the other's death. "

[Al-Shariyf]

"Shadonis wrote:
I aspire to be able to handle romantic affairs in this way.

Do you not think that it seems a little... inhuman perhaps?"

I have trouble letting go of the past. I dwell and dwell and dwell on what was and on what I imagine could have been. I think I'm ready to take "They're dead to me now." over "Maybe one day we can try it again."

[RobertAllen]

5. Beautiful wast thou, O Lilith, thou serpent-woman!
6. Thou wast lithe and delicious to the taste, and thy perfume was of musk mingled with ambergris.
7. Close didst thou cling with thy coils unto the heart, and it was as the joy of all the spring.

I am reluctant to judge this woman negatively. I confess I still find these three statements to be true: She is beautiful and delicious. My sentiments are those of Typhon from Crowley's Rite of Jupiter:

"Ah! sweeter was September--
The amber rain of leaves,
The harvest to remember
The load of sunny sheaves.
In gardens deeply scented,
In orchards heavily hung,
Love flung
Away the days demented
With lips that curled and clung."

What I am still trying to separate is the degree to which this dragon is the actual world out there, or inner attitudes about it. Perhaps the differentiation does not matter—our actions being accurate reflections of our inner world.

When I talk to myself I can manifest a crown about my head of golden flowers—lily's; but the dish of salmon, spicy and sophisticated, is finished in a toilet bowl. I persist, hoping this tossing will not be noticeable when it is finally served on a fancy plate. Clearly my 'understanding' is not equal to my will.

Love and Will

[Mike]

@Shadonis said

"
"Shadonis wrote:
I aspire to be able to handle romantic affairs in this way.

Do you not think that it seems a little... inhuman perhaps?"

I have trouble letting go of the past. I dwell and dwell and dwell on what was and on what I imagine could have been. I think I'm ready to take "They're dead to me now." over "Maybe one day we can try it again.""

I'm having the most difficult time of my life trying to pull that off.

93, 93/93.

[Zoasa]

@Dar said

" If giving up the pain of your memories meant that you also had to give up the joy of them... are you sure this is something you would aspire to? As Captain Kirk says... you would loose a lot of what you (may) consider to be 'yourself'..."

If giving up old friends means that you are giving up old parts of you, than creating new friends must mean that you are creating new parts….Maybe it is time I made some new friends and found a new love. I mean my life is being changed “anew” at this very moment of thinking and creating new thoughts, while letting old ones go.