Out of Body Experience
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Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.
Although unconsciously, I've always been inclined towards Magick. Two years ago though, something happened that changed the whole of my human experience. I decided to take 8 grams of magic mushrooms in mint tea. The hours that followed were the most intense hours of my life while I struggled against death and insanity laying on my bed. There was a point though that holding with all my strength to the bed wasn't useful enough as it was a melting bed going from liquid dripping from my fingers, to warm and strange sand, or to a cold metalic texture. I didn't know if my eyes were open or closed. I then died and left my body.
The place where I arrived at was the opposite of the place where I came from. There wasn't any confusion at all, everything was consciousness. I felt like it would be impossible to return as my consciousness had become absorbed in such a high way of life. I use here the word life in lack of better ways of definition. My mother tongue is portuguese. But I could also use the word intelligence. While feeling I couldn't return because of the excess of information, I also felt that the possibility of return would be actual only if I became dressed again. So this happened and I was back to my body. Without believing to be alive. After returning, and while still laying on my bed, everything was calmer but there was a serpent's head in everything I looked to. Like a glass from where I looked at the outside.For a few months I looked at the outter world as a possibility of my hallucination, questioning the reality in everything. I then started to study Eliphas Levi, and have met a few times with him when I'm almost falling asleep. I then became engaged in the study of various religious works and am now in the process of studying Aleister Crowley.
I write this in the hope that more experienced travellers might help me understand what really happened to me. I am only 25.
Love is the Law. Love under Will.
Alex -
Tejo,
There are several different threads on here where the use of psychedlics for spirituality is discussed. I would recommend running some searches as it would probably suit your interests.
I must say that 8g of shrooms is outrageous. I've read that experienced psychonauts use around 4-5g. Do you have much experience with shrooms or other psychedlics? I've done 1.5g one time, it started out fine: walls breathing, and everything that i would expect to see, but then after about 30 min, my jaw started clinching. That lead to the 6 hours of my body trembling and my teeth grinding... No spiritual experience there.
I have always been curious if it would be possible to classify out of body experiences similar to yours and ones like DMT trips to something like the Qabalah tree of life or the four worlds... But that's just trivia. Obviously, no psychedlics/drugs of any kind are necessary to have out of body experiences or anything of the sort. I just figured maybe it would help someone like me who is as "perceptive as a brick."
-ANEA
"When the student is ready, the teacher will appear." -
A full explanation of your experience is beyond me because it was your experience. But I can relate to what happened in some fashion because my first experience with magic mushrooms was not too dissimilar, at least as far as the quantity of shrooms. My first experience was 8 grams. This is considered a lot by people who take them regularly, and would be expected to produce a fairly intense experience, like the one you describe. The person who was my 'initiator' in this was of the opinion that its best if your first experience blows you past all of your defenses, hence the large quantity.
Beyond that I am of the opinion that it is best not to place too much significance on the apparent power of the experience. It was a lot of substance, it messed with you big time, respect this fact. What you experienced was little more than a classical psychedelic experience from an over-sized dose of mushrooms. My advice is to try to be quite in your mind and not jump to any conclusions about the import of the experience too soon...
Love and Will
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Thank you so much for your answers. Yes, I had taken mushrooms dozens of times. And LSD had been my psychedelic of choice for some years. I have stopped using drugs though, except for a smoke once in a while, because I want to be thouroughly trained before starting to explore the realms of reality through psychedelics again.
I express myself in poetry and this experience opened up huge possibilities for my Art. The power of the experience isn't so apparent as it changed completely the way I who is not I perceives life. When that I writes, he is the breeze who unfolds the worlds that spring from beneath the places once obscured. Yes, there is no need for psychedelics but I might feel the urge to dance with Babalon under the stars, and if I want to be lifted through the air unto the stars, what other way could I find to make me one with those stars?... It must be a way of Insanity!...
Psychedelics are one of the ways of unveiling yourself before yourself. There's no need for them but there is a place for them. There are people who can unite with, there are people who can unite without, and there are people who choose both ways as the one way.
I ask for opinions so I can better understand the type of experience I went through. I find the classification "classic psychedelic" rather reductive as I see everything as spiritual.
"A Lei do Universo é o Amor."
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From my frame of reference, to the degree that the experience made lasting changes in the way you interpret your experiences, make meaning of the world around you, and take action in the world, it was a spiritual experience.
I'm not an expert in this area by any means, but your experience sounds a bit like a "classic" shamanic experience in that you experienced the death (commonly dismemberment) of your body and awakened to a state of consciousness seemingly beyond it. You'd have to read up on it. From my readings, such chemically induced experiences were common to the initiation and instruction of new shamans.
Don't read too much into that. It could simply be the brain's visual representation of what perceptual functions are turning off and on inside your mind while stimulated by the mushroom's chemicals. At the same time, don't overly belittle it. Even under such a reductionist understanding, "as below, so above." One hypothesis is that the structure and functioning of your physical body has been evolving according to divine law this entire time and thusly mirrors divine law to you in all its possible spiritual experiences.
Keep a steady head. Experiences come and go until they are able to be willed and stabilized. That part comes through work. At least, that's what I read...
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.
Love is the law, love under will. -
Sounds like a fun experience! Even though I've had varying experiences, I've always felt that there is no such thing as a "bad trip". They all have their meaning and though much can be obscured by the physical reaction, if there is a speck of that transcendent spiritual quality then it is all worth it. If not, then it something to learn from.
I think it can be akin to astral travelling and if this is true then there are dangers and misleading things all along the road (or so I hear). For me, reading the "Astral Atlas" in Book 4 is a good area to study and understand some of things not only for that practice, but the psychedelic experience as a whole. I'd like to think of it as a world of discovery within yourself with volume turned up just a bit.
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@Aegis55 said
"I'm not an expert in this area by any means, but your experience sounds a bit like a "classic" shamanic experience in that you experienced the death (commonly dismemberment) of your body and awakened to a state of consciousness seemingly beyond it. You'd have to read up on it. From my readings, such chemically induced experiences were common to the initiation and instruction of new shamans."
I've never read about Shamanism but that's what I'll do. The experience I went through must be a bit more universal though as the death was not only a trippy death of the body but an actual death of my anterior personality. The whole of reality melted before my eyes after the experience and everything I read about Magick comes very easily so I'm very much looking forward to knowing what were my anterior lifes like. I wonder if Crowley left any instructions towards this...
@mojorisin44 said
"I think it can be akin to astral travelling and if this is true then there are dangers and misleading things all along the road (or so I hear). For me, reading the "Astral Atlas" in Book 4 is a good area to study and understand some of things not only for that practice, but the psychedelic experience as a whole. I'd like to think of it as a world of discovery within yourself with volume turned up just a bit."
Astral travel is not exactly it as I travel on the astral while sober. The dangers of astral traveling are very much connected with emotions. When people want things to be true and they "see" them as true then they are - for themselves. Delusion is the biggest danger from the astral. Book 4 is excellent. What closest ressembles my experience is Crowley's description of Samadhi on the first part. And I also have the symptoms of Kundalini awakening.
Love in Peace
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@Frater Animus said
"I've never read about Shamanism but that's what I'll do."
Yes, this is an excellent recommendation. I made the mistake of assuming that you had already read up on shamanism, since it was my interest in them that drove me to try what I did.
Be wary of the intensely-New Age rehashes of shamanism. It's very tough to find a decent book on the subject without getting beaten by the same old eastern-like New Age message that disguises itself in various subjects. Doing a religious study of a particular Native American tribe would probably be more beneficial at this point than getting a book directly on the subject of shamanism.
Some of the most common themes you'll find with authentic shamanism is:
Ritual Drumming
Commincation with spirits
Trance-like states
Another world (usually referred to as the "spirit world")
Inanimate things containing spirits (such as the psychedlics injested)Hope this helps,
-ANEA
"When the student is ready, the teacher will appear." -
ANEA,
From the description Shamanism sounds a lot like Magick and I was wondering if Magick isn't the core of all systems soever. I will start studying Shamanism once I finish reading Crowley's Libri as it must have very interesting methodological details.
I already met a South American group who appart from the other details also and especially used ritual drumming - Macumba. I hanged out with them for awhile and although their methodology isn't good I was able to learn great things. As how not to be affected by black magicians (trance of indifference under huge stress, at one point they wanted to rob my soul as I wouldn't participate on their rituals). Their work had a lot to do with the invocation of drunkyards and old people who had forgotten some message on their fridges, and so I left (my HGA must have wicked plans).
Thanks,
Love in Peace -
I would also encourage you to read up on the subject. Terence McKenna does an excellent job of examining the psychedelic experience. Some excellent books of his are "Food of the Gods" and "The Invisible Landscape." Beware to take his theories with a grain of salt, however, as he doesn't always manage to keep hold of his objectivity.
This is indeed the trouble with many psychedelic adventurers: the inability to remain detatched from the experience, critical but aware and involved. It's a delicate counterpoint, and one that I don't claim to have reached.
8 grams is truly a heroic dose, but given the relatively low toxicity of psilocybin the biggest danger would be a "freak out," because of the intensity of the experience.
As has been stated, there are quite a few threads where the question is discussed in depth, with some relatively good criticisms of psychedelic use written by the now-absent Froclown. You would do well to read up on them.
Remember that the Temple of Thelema does not condone or advocate drug use of any kind. However, students are encouraged to explore their psyche to the fullest.
"The Doors of Perception," by Huxley, is also an invaluable read, and should be studied in depth.