12 September (Mars) Liber VII, 1:8-16
-
8. Let my cry of pain be crystallized into a little white fawn to run away into the forest!
9. Thou art a centaur, O my God, from the violet-blossoms that crown Thee to the hoofs of the horse.
10. Thou art harder than tempered steel; there is no diamond beside Thee.
11. Did I not yield this body and soul?
12. I woo thee with a dagger drawn across my throat.
13. Let the spout of blood quench Thy blood-thirst, O my God!
14. Thou art a little white rabbit in the burrow Night.
15. I am greater than the fox and the hole.
16. Give me Thy kisses, O Lord God! -
Ultimate longing and submission.
"Whatever you like. Consume me."
Scarily temptingly daringly beautiful.
-
I relate it to a desire I have almost every day—to be free of every last trace of internal resistance.
Love and Will
-
This book depictgs the voluntary emancipation of an Exempt Adept from his adepthood; that is, the giving up (as an act of will) all the best and highest (if not, in fact, everything) that exists of one below the Abyss.
And the work of the Exempt Adept - the method of the grade - is bhakti yoga. But this isn't the ceremonial and pagential bhakti of the Philosophus; rather, it is para-bhakti, which eventuates as little more than abiding (with full absorption of one's attention) in the presence, in the embrace, of the belovéd.
These lines give one possible expression after another of this conjugal embrace, as if reviewing the entire universe of love one caress at a time. My method of devotion is to enter into rapport with Adonai and review the text to see what images, feelings, reminders, or triggers it brings to me.
And this book, in particular, wanders across gender expressions of the belovéd willy-nilly. It is indifferent to one's human sexual orientation that one might catch one's breath at the image of his violetds-crowned centaur bending down to impale one in union of his lust, likely ripping, shredding, and completely releasing one in the act. It is a surrender not just of the body but, especially, of the soul.
I even seek to seduce Him by offering my life, the fluid of my life, the spilling of my life, my cessation as a separate thing.
-
"12. I woo thee with a dagger drawn across my throat.
- Let the spout of blood quench Thy blood-thirst, O my God!"
I get some funky imagery when I read this line. It turns me on and I like it. I also like the unrelenting passion of these verses.
-
First it seduced me,
Then I loved it,
Then it confused me,
Then I chastened it,
Then it frightened me,
Then I hated it,
Then it conquered me,
Then I bitched at it,
Then it chastened me.Then again! It seduces me!
Stubborn Lover.
-
These verses give me a very different feeling than anything from Liber LXV did. It also helps that I am far less familiar with this particular Holy Book.
My reflection went something like this.
"You are the Unyielding One, the ! to my ?. It's not so much aspiration to You as it is a rabid, passionate, violent hunger to find and devour Thee, to be devoured; a love that aggressively seeks to yield."
93, 93/93.