16 September (Mars) Liber VII, 1:41-48
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41. What shalt Thou be, my God, when I have ceased to love Thee?
42. A worm, a nothing, a niddering knave!
43. But Oh! I love Thee.
44. I have thrown a million flowers from the basket of the Beyond at Thy feet, I have anointed Thee and Thy Staff with oil and blood and kisses.
45. I have kindled Thy marble into life — ay! into death.
46. I have been smitten with the reek of Thy mouth, that drinketh never wine but life.
47. How the dew of the Universe whitens the lips!
48. Ah! trickling flow of the stars of the mother Supernal, begone! -
As I read this today, and get all the love, all the hetro love and homo, I am wondering about lesbo love, to be blunt.....
Being hetro myself, but loving females...just not sexing with them...
I am trying to understand what these words mean...
To a gal who wants nothing to do with sperm, and phallic issues....I personally believe that people should be bi,
But understand why the are not....An inside out vagina.....
Idk...
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That's sort of what I was saying the other day, about the sexual imagery in Liber VII being very specific to Crowley's sexuality. So I don't get off on Liber VII (spiritually speaking of course) the way I do with the other Holy Books.
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But if you think about it... even fantasizing about being on the receiving end of a handy/blowie requires the presence of a penis... and in truly intimate union, when the arousal of our partner feeds our arousal in a feedback loop, the lines between subject and union, trigger and response, can become very blurred.
I'm pretty far to the "straight" end on a Kinsey scale, but more and more that seems like a "technicality" to me when sex gets really powerful. And if I really think about it, most of my formative sexual years were spent jerking off a teenage boy (myself), even if my brain was thinking heterosexual thoughts.
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sex sex sex
It never ceases to amaze me how a persons preferences broaden out when they are aroused. What was unthinkable before, and might even shock them the morning after when they review what actually happened, becomes very plausible in the heat of the moment.
I guess all I'm saying is that there is a point when it all blurs into one thing, transgressive and insatiable, at which point one can be beside oneself looking for those new fantasies and experiences that still promise some degree of correspondence to the sense of possibility one is hoping to realize. A lesbian might not identify with Crowley's preferences, but then who is to say that under the right circumstances these same preferences might not be the kicker for her?
It's all a symbol for something so difficult to comprehend that even the distasteful can become the metaphor of choice. Ho Ares!
Love and Will