Anxiety , Emotions and The Mundane
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Hello Friends ,
I have this solution that i still have to find .I have been focused towards the spiritual , the paranormal , the out of the ordinary since 24th August last year .Thelema and Hermetics being the center of this approach .Aleister Crowley is an inspiration to me .I live a busy life persueing my Bachelors degree along with another side by side diploma , focusing on my body at the gym and I now want to make Thelema and Hermetics a part of my daily life .Now to do this I need to eliminate the bullshit from my life .So I made a list of all the people who were not positive influences , the people who caused controversy , the people who were no use to me and never would be and some other similar cases and made a conscious effort to stay away from these people ,which i think I have done a fairly good job of doing .Now I have two kinds of situations still left which I need to eliminate .Firstly , when people speak something completely untrue behind my back about me and the word travels to me through some of the people that are close to me it lands up causing a lot of anger, frustration ,anxiety like for example when somebody says they beat me up before something which they have never been able to do before in fact the guy has never been able to lay a finger on me , he goes around telling this to a girl who is close to me .I can't possibly personally deal with every such situation that arises and it causes tremendous loss of focus and makes me disoriented.One of my loved one's has a problem with Alcoholism and whenever they go out , I get worried its hard for me to trust that they can take care of themselves and there are just other people out there who just irritate other people for no good reason , and if any such problem arises its a complete loss of focus for me again and I just cannot get back immediately my mind remains occupied by this stuff .I need some guidance . -
The best guidance I can think to offer you at this time, and with what little information I have about you and your life, is that I was immediately struck with how you have an outward focus on things. Even some of your word choices suggested an "out" condition of influences. You are on a search for the "out of the ordinary" instead of "within." You may not believe this, as of course your work is naturally designed to get you seeking within, but you still haven't found that yet (it appears to me) because you've noticed that events and other people "make me angry." What power they have over you!
So instead, don't go out but let other people go ahead and go out. You go within. Not to withdraw painfully, but to identify the root of all things. And this will give you INsight into these outer shells of existence you are so fearful of.
So what if someone else is acting a braggart and telling lies? The only person you can truly compete with is you in the past, be better than you were before. And anyone who doesn't take you as you come doesn't need or deserve you anyway.
And at those times when you do stumble again (and you surely will), don't keep yourself down by focusing on the fall you took - get back up and pat yourself on the back for knowing when down is down and when up is right.
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There are many layers of a possible answer to this. I'm going to start by accepting your explanations of your goals and wishes as "givens" - and also accept that the path you want to pursue in purifying your context is the right approach.
I start off this way because there are many caveats and side conversations that could be had about premises and choices. The only thing I really want to say about that right now is that the "eliminations" you have been doing - a mixture of purification and banishing elements of a ritual, so to speak - are a lot like fasting, or a training regimen. Often we have to get distance on something for a good long stretch either to refocus energy or to rediscover ourselves outside the context of our prior enmeshments, etc. This shouldn't be regarded as necessarily a permanent state, but as someting you are doing for now, and for a particular purpose, with other choices to make in the future.
(Silly examples: Turning off the phone so that you won't be disturbed during meditaton or ritual doesn't mean that you leave the phone turned off forever.)
But, on to your question...
@dknight93 said
"Now I have two kinds of situations still left which I need to eliminate .Firstly , when people speak something completely untrue behind my back about me and the word travels to me through some of the people that are close to me it lands up causing a lot of anger, frustration ,anxiety like for example when somebody says they beat me up before something which they have never been able to do before in fact the guy has never been able to lay a finger on me , he goes around telling this to a girl who is close to me .I can't possibly personally deal with every such situation that arises and it causes tremendous loss of focus and makes me disoriented.One of my loved one's has a problem with Alcoholism and whenever they go out , I get worried its hard for me to trust that they can take care of themselves and there are just other people out there who just irritate other people for no good reason , and if any such problem arises its a complete loss of focus for me again and I just cannot get back immediately my mind remains occupied by this stuff .I need some guidance ."
Reading your text critically and at face value, you have correctly identified that the issue is your own reactions. It isn't the events, it's how you reactively respond to the events.
There could be a lot of tactics to deal with this. The first is to calm down, relax, get some serenity. Half an hour of quiet meditation twice a day should give you the habit of moving into such a state. When encountering an event to which you feel yourself being reactive, you need to develop the habit of stopping yourself (the old "count to 10" approach, if nothing else) and consciously moving into that state. It's a completely different physiological and neurological state than the reactivity. For example, feel your hands as warm - this moves blood back into the extremities and away from the core of the body (where it concentrates when we're in emergency mode). Take a deep sigh and let your breathing become deep and regular (short, shallow breathing is part of the adrenaline activity). As you let out the sigh, feel a wave of warmth move across your body from top to bottom. Your senses will be so hyperacute in such moments that you'll be a jumble of confused impressions perhaps, so quietly recite a phrase like "alert mind, calm body." These are just a few tips about switching (reversing) gears on the cascading physical responses of the moment.
Then - when the matter is about yourself - develop a sense of humor. The best way to deal with stupid rumor mongers, I think, is usually some mix of (1) not really caring what stupid people say about you, (2) not caring ultimately about what most people think about you, (3) idle curiosity about the matter [so that you don't go into avoidance mode], and (4) a great sense of humor about yourself grounded in knowing yourself.
For example, if someone tells you something that is being said behind your back, and it's obviously not true, you come off way better (and also feel better) if you show your surprise and chuckle about the absurdity of it, rather than being reactive and defensive. Defensiveness always convinces people that there's some truth in the matter. An honest chuckle and "Can't he think of anything more creative to make up about me?" will go a long way.
When it involves other people - that's tough. You have to find the line where you have done what you honestly can do for them, then trust them to their own lives. The meditation practice should increase your ability to be more witnessing of the events around you.
Also understand (as I think maybe you already do) that your strong emotional reactions are all about you, not about anyone else. They tell you things about yourself. These things are worth learning.
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Part of being social creatures is that we have to cope with interacting with others. We have to learn to discern the i formation that our senses are feeding us. MosT people are at a juvenile level of developemnet, in which in an attempt to avoid looking with in, they become entangled with everything without.
No matter what you do, or dont do do...people will always find something to say, to distract them from looking with in.
in the booK the Four Agreements D.Ruiz teaches us how we have been conditioned to take others remarks personally, to take them to heart, and have them niegatively affect our being.
So, hard as it is...
Dont take things others say to heart, dont take it personally. What ever they. Are saying is the result of where they are on thier path, and has nothing to do with you really.And when you do take something to heart, examine yourself, look at your being and ask the hard questions. How did you feel, where did you feel, what did you act upon or say, reflect upon why this persons comments effected you.
As for worring about others, it is natural and can be very important in so e situations, but most of the time now a days, we shouldnt worry about our brother walking through the deep dark woods...
Trust, and have faith that you have a higher power, a Holy Guardian Angel, a higher self, that looks after you....and so does the person you worry about. It can be very helpful for some people who are entangled with chaotic life situations to actually say a prayer to the Other Persons HGA. Thoses prayers tend to be very powerful because they come from the heart, and can be very liberating to the worrier. -
I really enjoyed reading these replies, and of course its all good sound familiar advice. We all have been there, and have used these, or could.
I wanted to chime in here and actually ask about something Veronica mentioned; which I found interesting. This was the part of praying to anothers HGA. I feel it still is relative to this thread so guessing its ok to go somewhat off topic - but ive never thought of intercontact (so to speak) of HGAs! Ive always thought of our HGA as a relative whole of which deals with the individual, yet is personal and so unreachable (in a manner of speaking) in regards to anyone else. Id like Veronica or Jim to maybe touch a little more on this, if thats ok.
93
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To elaborate on what I was referring to in regards to offering prayers to another persons HGA I should explain that I was fundamentally advocating an action to help a person overcome feeling regarding another person actions, actions that they personally have no real control over. prayer in that sence would be used as a tool by the person to release control of the situation, and to turn it over in a sence to the person who actualy does have the control.
Their are many dimensions to this person here called Veronica. This V. Has a certain potential, I have learned how to eat and care for my self to a specific degree. My capacity for my greatness I supose is one way of saying it. i know I shouldnt eat frenchfries, they arent good for me. but sometimes I dont always make the right choice, sometimes I slip up, and I am not performing at my best.
I see the concept of the HGA as that aspect which is the ultimate best of me, me to the max. My complete potential actualized. I view this concept as a sort of funnel, which starts at an apex point, and grandually funnels away from that point, and depending on how I work my actions and be, my funnel can strenghten and expand, similiar to how a muscle gets stronger and more capable the more you use it.
While I believe that at some point, each individual apex point, of each living being , merges in a way together, and is in all reality only one, that at different planes of manifestation our funnels to god are in a sence seperate.
It seems to me that when we are entangled in this mundane world and having relationship with people of vastly different capablities, it can be so drownding in a way, that for our own best interest, we need to disengangle ourselves from things that we apparently have no control over.
But yet our compassion, and empathy and humanity inclines us to want to do something to help. Yet doing things phyicially makes things worse. To ease our desire to stop anothers actions, and to get out of our own ego, inviting the concept of god, or spirit, or higher self, or HGA into the situation can shift the focus off of the other person, whom we have no real co trol over, and put our focus back onto our own selves, and take care of our own business, allowing the other person the grace of dealing with thiere own situation without interference.
All things are possible with god, even if god is only a construct of grey matter. Prayer works with the mind and the heart, and strenghtens us. If I was to pray to my HGA to help fix so and so, I am still entangling myself in that affair, it is almost insisting that I KNOW BEST what should be done, not do what thou wilt, but do what I wilt....but praying to their HGA to help them in what ever way they need relinquishes personal ego.
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I see what your saying. Basically one can pray to the higher spiritual aspect of another (or theoretically our own HGA), the ideal, in order to relinquish concern over anothers actions. We can use the concept of appealing to another HGA that we see as their hidden Will that directs them. Thank you for elaberating on that.
Will
Love