Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned
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Just to get the story straight, I am not the scorned one.
But, I am so bloody mad, I think I could spit nails, or at least summon a nasty hitmonster.....
I am trying desperately to find some ounce of compassion and understanding towards my 15 year old step daughter. The little girl I first met when she was two, and took care of everyweekend for ten years.
Now this little girl is trying to assert that her father sexually abused her, and that I didnt do anything, to stop this, that I am an unfit mother, and my children should be taken away from me.
My home was searched, my family interregated, and We are still under investigation.
Obviously the claims are entirely false. JC I am such a sexual dynamo that there is no way in hell my husband would go looking else where, I am the Alpha Bitch of this house, and if anyone is getting any action, it had better be me!
When CPS came to my home, I had put away some of my occult items: skulls, pentacles, and the few AC Crowley books. I didnt want to, I wanted to scream at them that they had no rights over me, that I can own anything I want, read what I want, believe what I want. I wanted to tell them that I do not AGREE, I do not contract, or give consent to any of this.
But I was so afraid that they would take my babies from me, so afraid that my spouse would not back me up, and be strong for me, so I could kick some heads in....
I am still under the gun, so to speak. And I feel like a part of me, the nice loving, optimistic, happy part....has been shackeled and numbered, and ready to be shipped to the gold mines.
All because some sick little girl is jealous of me, jealous of the love her father has for me, and the life we live. Sex is power, oh boy. Let me tell you.....
For so long, a deep part of me connected to women, to feminism, to helping women have better lives, to embrace all women as sisters, regardless of thier own personal paths or truths, I never excluded any girls from my loving prayers, and quest for balance....and yet now, I am enmeshed with a daughter, who is so far away from my heart that my howls go unheard.
This Sisterhood, that I fought so hard and long for seems like a huge farce, a joke at my expense, for some people regardless of sex, race, culture, aeon.....are just cold, hard, mean, and down right evil.....and no matter how much sugar I pour on them, no matter how much love, how much light is given,
They never ever can come to gripes with the fact that Love is the Law, Love Under Will. They certainly never even have any inkling about Do What thou Wilt.....
Thelema, Will.....
Why does it seem that this simple word, is actually all about sex?
Who gets to be on top? Who comes first? Seems that even though the best of us humans have tried to bring balance, the world is still ruled by the same old superstitious fears based on some peoples insecurities.it has been very challenging for me to deal with this whole situation.....and not send the boogie men to Her bedside to rip her little mind and heart to shreds.
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I hope you find peace and serenity in this situation soon V - doesn't sound fun. Keep in mind the actions of one individual do not reflect the masses, and that there are a$$holes and there are most of us who sometimes do a$$hole things. But, my advice, don't bother yourself with the extra Karma work involved with doing any nastiness. Take the high road. Stay dry. My 2 cents.
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@Tinman said
"I hope you find peace and serenity in this situation soon V - doesn't sound fun. Keep in mind the actions of one individual do not reflect the masses, and that there are a$$holes and there are most of us who sometimes do a$$hole things. But, my advice, don't bother yourself with the extra Karma work involved with doing any nastiness. Take the high road. Stay dry. My 2 cents."
I really appreciate the reminder, sincerly I do. I am not a nasty person, really......but yet I know that when I get very angry....I loose my balance and well... Firestarter comes to mind. I dont like that part of me, and I do a good job most of the time to not bubble over.
I have learned how the words Do What Thou Wilt, help me gain control over my emotional body when I am thrust into some sort of crazy situation. it is an amazing Mantra.....most of the time I choose not to do or say anything when these butheads surface......
I believe that to do anything, would be asserting my will over someone else....denying them the same liberty that I demand. Which is why I find no integrity in spell casting, or raising minions, or even wishing some one a good day.Yet I still feel so sick about these three women, ( daughter, mother, and grandmother). Who are trying to incacertate my husband and collect a payoff from our home owners insurance in a civil suit.
I am one of those silly eternal optimists, happy and full of joy.....ready to learn from what ever life tosses....but this whole thing is just so sick and twisted, and Gods help me I do not like the fact that I knew if I had my Crowley books out, my skulls, and my other counter cultural objects...they would have taken my kids on the spot!
that is just wrong, but its is how things are, and I feel like a weakling for not making a huge huff about it, and standing my ground, and revealing myself to them fully.
To have peace, I have heard you must go through war, and struggle....I know I will get trough this, with my kids....hopefully my husband.
Thanks for you kind reply, it was very nice and means a lot.
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@Dara Allarah said
"Yeah - this is just an unjustified and malicious action on their part. After he passed the polygraph you'd think they'd leave you alone! From what I've read - because he's passed the Polygraph then you can prove a 'lack of probable cause' and go on the offence with an action against them for Malicious Prosecution of a Civil Suit. Then it's like saying "you put the gun back in the holster and I'll do the same, agree'd?" Maybe Jim can give you some good advice about lawyers V?"
I think the only good advice about lawyers, in this case, is: get one. Which we have.
Mr. Eshelman and Danica did take the time to look into some astrologicial insights, which were extremely reassuring.
On one level, I am over the worst of it, just have to go through the monkey hoops of the legal system.
I am working on the forgiveness, and just allowing things to unfold on their own.
It is all very interesting to step back and look at, and question.
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@Uni_Verse said
"Leave everything out in the open, be honest.
Do not hide who you are...
If not for you, then for your children."Well, they all ready came and went and looked about....and really the only things I put away were my few AC books. I seriously own thousands of books, of all subjects, and many many occult titles.
The accuser has put forth that I am a satanic witch, who practices ritualistic sex....and the she was subjected to this through acts by my husband.....
So because of that, I thought it would be in my families best interest to put away the few titles I have of the notorious sexy AC.
My husband and my MOtherinlaw wanted me to turn my house upside down, putting all my " things" away, my books, my herbs, my statues, crystals, candels, etc ect.....and got a little pushy when I said no.
I pushed back with the assertion that I am a great person, and have nothing to hide, and that if my kids saw me tearing through the house, turning it inside out and removing all traces of my spiritual life, of my character, that they would get the message that what I do, and think, and enjoy is not only weird, but criminal.
And what a hypocritical message that would be, I would loose all respect and integrity with them.....
So the snake skins, hides and deer skulls....posters of Jack Skellington, my nudes, and of course my model of the solarsystem and my disco ball stayed in prominance.
And as a very nice touch, as the worker was leaving.. my african grey Loki called out in my sugary voice saying. " I Love You."
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Do the magick!!
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@Barrackubus said
"Do the magick!!"
Well then I suppose that the highest for of magick in this situation would to be that I would take the negative (!) and transmute it into somehing positive.
Because my initiational emotional reaction was to just rip her to shreds, which isnt very nice.
Everything is a blessing, sometimes we just are to close to see It.
Thanks...
At first I just thought you wanted to goad me into a wet t shirt contest...but I see now I need to maintain the practice of Grace.
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Performing the magick will do many things for you, but most importantly it will show you the truth you seek. It will bring all things in clear view. The young girl you are concerned about has caused quite disruption and her intent is obviously harmful. The object is to get to the true reason for that without being logical. Unfortunately their maybe some very valid reasons for how she is reacting and it may or maynot be related to her environment that you and your husband provides for her. She needs to be reached out to and being a step parent is a difficult road to travel sometimes. She needs to open up to someone honestly, although keeping in mind that their maybe some value as to what she is reporting.
I had a similiar situation where I had been facing a polygraph concerning my youngest step.daughter, but I have raised her from birth and in her eyes I am her dad dad as she says. But it was all brought on by harmful intent of others. However once the family services people completed the investigation the matter was dropped due to lack of evidence. Sometimes kids say.things for.specific attention that we often miss. -
You really bit the nail on the head with that one friend!
My thoughts exactly! And those are the things I brought up in my interviewsabout her, she needs help, and while I am not going to be the one to give that too her, I am certainly not going to add to her allready messed up head space.I actually have been doing work for truth and light, and I can allready see some of the illusions and lies fading away andbeing smashed.
Thanks for your feedback and sharing it was emensly helpful.
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I wanted to give an update on this event....
"something" woke me up at 7 am, and instead of doing my morning reading and other laid back things....
i got up, showered, dressed, and had the kids at the table working on some educational things....9am, CPS and an undercovercop showed up, said they just happened to be in the area and wanted to see the kids.
We are normally up very late, and sleep late too...that what happens when your spouse works nights and you shift your cycles so the kids get to interact with both parent.
I know that the cop was there to back up CPS, if they found any indication of maltreatment or abuse, which the CPS in the other county is claiming based my step daughters claim.
My hubby is not giving in to this order of protection, and he intends to let it go to trial, so that She has to prove...beyond resonable doubt, with evidence, which she cant do.
Prehearing on the 25 of this month, trial in Monroe County on Dec 17.
I was musing over two things specifically:
the Aeon of the Child and how the focus on protecting kids from abuse and misuse has evolved dramaticaly in such a short time here in the USA.
I had to prove that I provide medical care, and account for why I am homeschooling, why I collect skulls and snake skins, why my home is the way it is, ect....I take my rights as a citizen seriously, and practice the freedoms granted here, because I know that my Siblings in other parts of the world cannot.
The other thing I was musing over would be, what the best case senario could be with this....how this could turn out for the best. That is much harder.
i have spent time thinking about what would happen if the ex wife, got wind somehow that her daughter was completely lying, and just dropped it all. Not only would we not have to deal with more time down town, but maybe then she would see not only what a sick biotch her daughter was, but that she was the model for all those lies, and she is a sick biotch too.And...that my husband would get his arse straight and engage in the real world, with his real family...instead of living doped out, as a victim, living in a hate filled, vengous fantasy.
Well, I know a few of you had asked for an update so I thought I would just post it. Your kindness and compassion is greatly appreciated.