Escaping the Abyss
-
My energy has been spiraling vastly upward lately. It seems like everything magnetically revolves around me from color patterns to numbers and words. But it almost seems to become taunting at times when I cannot fulfill my desire for love. The women I have been involved with suddenly do not reply to me. However in waking life it seems many women are attracted around me in a sort of "birds and bees" way. Is it my desire for love that is wrong to begin with? Beyond that life seems to work great no readily forseen interferences.
Could anyone offer any advice on getting over this hump?
Thanks
FR. 444
-
Well, for one, this doesn't sound like the Abyss. It sounds like Malkuth and early opening of the astral.
Advice: Eat lots of red meat. Exercise aggressively. Indertake basic meditation practice and compel the inner gates to only open on a specific signal from you.
-
@Joshua said
"My energy has been spiraling vastly upward lately. It seems like everything magnetically revolves around me from color patterns to numbers and words. But it almost seems to become taunting at times when I cannot fulfill my desire for love. The women I have been involved with suddenly do not reply to me. However in waking life it seems many women are attracted around me in a sort of "birds and bees" way. Is it my desire for love that is wrong to begin with? Beyond that life seems to work great no readily forseen interferences.
Could anyone offer any advice on getting over this hump?
Thanks
FR. 444"
Consider this an additional thought... Maybe questions to be pondered in your journal...
If it was a dream, how would you interpret it? What is your relationship to the taunting? Lower to higher? Higher to lower? How do you feel about the kind of [voice, spirit, wind, mood, projection] that would taunt you for wanting love? To what degree do you fear it is correct? To what degree might it be beneficial? To what degree might it be ignorant/malicious?
In short, you ask how to "get over this hump." From my perspective, you're hearing/seeing/experiencing some of your own psychological conflicts in "the inner mirror." My technique would be to deal with this part of your experience as if it were a recurring dream and a currently active inner psychological conflict. The fact that it seems very close to events in your "waking life" still makes just as much sense. I think psychoanalysis or at least self-application of psychoanalytic techniques would be helpful.
To me, just guessing here... to me, it sounds like there may be some kind of conflict (real or imagined) between your desire to be in love and your True Will. I say this because, if you were certain of your Will to be in love, then I would simply refer you to the* Book of the Law* - to damn such contradicting, "Becausing" "voices" in favor of your Will. But where you yourself are uncertain of the relationship between your own Will and your own desire for love, you become ambivalent: "Is the 'voice' correct? Should I listen to it? Should I tell it to shut up?" Ambivalence is not powerful to silence such voices.
My take anyway. Your actual mileage may vary.
-
@Joshua said
"
THIS
(refer to previous post count lmao...)"
It happens.
Um... I'd say it only seems like a joke on the level where the pain of it all is able to be relativized and forgotten; otherwise, for me, it usually has the potential to hurt too much to just consider it a joke, and others may remind you of that pain if you run around proclaiming it so.
One could answer some questions with different answers according to the level of consciousness from which one was answering. It's rare that one answer satisfies all levels at once.
-
Ehh.. You know.. You ask a question, and you take a risk both with what's revealed in the asking and with whatever crafting someone tries to give you for an answer - if they even understand the question in the first place.
My opinion: In the end, it's all on you anyway, so..
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.
Love is the law, love under will.
