June 6 (Air) Liber LXV, Cap II, v. 57-58
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**57. The prophet cried against the mountain; come thou hither, that I may speak with thee!
58. The mountain stirred not. Therefore went the prophet unto the mountain, and spake unto it. But the feet of the prophet were weary, and the mountain heard not his voice.
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A child like assurance that if one yells loud enough a result will occur. Adolescence raises the stake and works toward taking more reasonable action to get a result. In this striving and yelling, though done with persistence, the result is elusive. Furthermore, effort has been put forth and weariness has set in, possibly doubt, and who knows what else. Silence persists most and is beyond all striving.
This, I believe, is a necessary stage. One must struggle, yell against the gods, grow weary, and work through life's obstacles. Anything worth obtaining is worth struggling for a bit.
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It doesn't matter whether any of this effort matters, or whether any of the things one is doing matters.
What matters is that, unless one acts with one's whole being as if it all matters - until one gets completely past oneself and unreasonably pours oneself unreservedly into the Work because there is nothing else one can do - there is no progress. There is no price that can bring success, except everything whatsoever about oneself.
Or, at least, that's a good start.