Experience with "strange drugs"

[d.b.stone]

I’ve been asked about my experience with “strange drugs.”

1. I assume you’re asking about actual drugs, what people would call drugs, and by including “strange,” I assume you mean those with the more powerful effects on consciousness. But before turning to that, let me say that my own approach to interpreting Liber L is to assume its verses have infinitely many meanings, that they “varieth ever” (Liber LXV i 52), and there’s no reason to assume the meanings for any two people overlap. Beyond that, I’ve found that every time I sit down to seriously consider some verse or phrase or word in L, it shows me a new meaning, often in ways that require me to significantly modify my models of M.

(By “M” I mean that portion of reality which gives rise to all the phenomena we currently categorize under Magic, Mysticism, Religion, Enlightenment, Animism, Divination, ESP, OBEs (out-of-body experiences), NDEs (near-death experiences), Synchronicity, the Occult and so forth—AND EVERYTHING ELSE. In my current working model, M is a layer of Physics underlying what present-day Physics studies, which I regard as limited to only the tiniest and least important part of the Universe. One of Physics’ current theories is that the Universe came from a quantum fluctuation—I think it came from M, which used be called “Eternal,” but which I prefer to model as coming from a layer of reality that is outside of Time and Space, Time and Space being emergent properties which aren’t fundamental.)

And one of the meanings I find in “strange drugs” is “Anything which amplifies one’s connection to M.” And for me that can include such things as reading, writing, painting, dancing and even—gasp!—S-E-X. I’ve also found the Arts can be M amplifiers. As Humankind has long noticed, artistic inspiration and M inspiration (Seership) overlap. My current model is that what we presently call “inspiration” signifies “Drawing from M.” And while I haven’t experienced it myself, I’ve read accounts of people experiencing the astonishing effects of what is called “peak performance” (or “flow” in the work of Mihály Csíkszentmihályi) in athletics (basketball, hockey, soccer, ice skating, mountain-climbing and the martial arts were the examples I’ve read about) which seem to me to be instances of amplified M connection. Finally, let me add, that ANY ACTIVITY WHATSOEVER, whether raising children or fighting wars or running a business, if Aligned with one’s pure will, and in which one invests heavily with one’s M power, will amplify one’s M connection.

2. As for actual drugs, I’ve found that, for me, both caffeine and sugar can be effective in amplifying the M connection. I don’t smoke, but in trying to better understand why people find nicotine so addictive, I once bought a carton of nicotine pouches, and, since I seem to be a perennially reckless fool (even now in my 70’s!), I gave myself a very powerful dose, and though I made myself so sick I’ve never felt like repeating the experiment, I did find that it also amplified the M link.

3. But over 50 years ago, I also did peyote (back then, Carlos Castañeda was all the rage) which is a natural form of mescaline, a powerful form of THC (the active ingredient in marijuana), and LSD. And they were all VERY powerful M amplifiers (or rather, can be—it depends how you use them).

4. As a general matter, I would say that for those seriously devoted to M development who are still beginners and struggling to connect to M, powerful drugs of that sort can be welcome aids. They are ladders you can climb up to temporarily engage with M more powerfully than you could otherwise, and so you can see all sorts of things that will advance your understanding of M. What’s more, they can give you experience in handling altered states of consciousness which will serve you well when it comes to handling M altered states. The old religions are fools, in my view, for opposing drugs of that sort, because for just pennies and a few hours, they could bring home to their devotees what a lifetime of sermons cannot—that M exists, that it needn’t be taken on faith, that you can go experience it for yourself, after which you can skip going to the house of worship because you recognize they don’t deal with the real thing there or even know what it is. (Which may be why they oppose them—fear they’ll be exposed as fakes!)

5. Having said that, I need to add that just because such drugs CAN be M amplifiers, allow you to experience M more fully than you could otherwise, and teach you about M, I’m not saying they WILL. That would depend on a lot of factors, and not having studied the matter, I don’t want to pretend to know what they all are when I don’t. But I would guess that an important factor would be serious devotion to M, what Crowley called the Great Work, and what I prefer to call the Life of U or the Life of Light (i.e., the life of the Universe or All Possible Universes plus the Life of the Light apart from any Universe). If you’re just doing the drugs for fun, then maybe they won’t help you with M (but they might—M life, if followed intensely, tends to be one unexpected thing after another).

6. CAUTION, CAUTION, CAUTION: I can never speak positively about drugs without adding a serious caution. I am not the only reckless fool in our species. I am not the only terribly needy person who may reach for drugs because they are so desperate for something—ANYTHING—to relieve their distress. These things are powerful. And as the news headlines about addiction and overdose deaths make so terribly plain, they can do you all sorts of damage. And, of course, until the Aeon takes hold, you can still go to prison or be shot dead by internal security forces for possessing them. So though your head may be in the stars, you do have to deal with all those pesky little practical problems down here on Earth.

a) You should be in relatively good psychological shape before doing these drugs, you should have plenty of self-awareness and understanding, because drugs can unlock all your repressions and the personal demons that come flying out may overwhelm you if you’re not prepared to deal with all you’ve buried in your unconscious. I distinctly remember one of my friends freaking out on LSD because he discovered homosexual impulses in himself, unaware that sexologists have been telling us since the 19th century that everybody’s got those though they may play little or no part in one’s life as a practical matter. And you don’t want to freak out on LSD because there’s no telling what you might do. And these drugs can open the door to M quite a bit wider than it is normally (it’s always open a little bit, even for those who have no interest in M or even deny it exists), and you may find yourself unexpectedly dealing with M phenomena you don’t want to deal with—psychological health and dedication to the Highest can give you a lot of protection.

b) If you’re inexperienced in using those drugs, you only want to do them in a heavily buffered and supportive environment—STAY HOME.

i) Choose a time when you’re not going to be interrupted by external concerns.

ii) Only be with people you know and trust and who are going to be supportive of you and look after you should you run into trouble. Best if you also have someone experienced in the drug you’re using who can throw an arm across your back and help you through any rough patches.

iii) Don’t be an idiot like me and start off with triple the usual dose. You have to make your own decisions, of course, and many prefer to learn the hard way—they find anything other than high risk a bore—but to everyone else I suggest baby steps.

iv) Don’t take the drugs when you’re upset—you want to be in a relatively good frame of mind.

v) If you’re familiar with M operations, you may want to fortify your mental state by beginning with the same sort of preparations you would make for a serious M ritual.

vi) And stick with these cautionary protections at least for the first few times until you’ve gotten familiar enough with the effects of the drug to gain confidence you can “walk” on your own and handle yourself without support.

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Someone then questioned my concern with harm by citing L ii 22’s “They shall not harm ye at all.” I can only interpret L for myself. And one of the ways I would interpret that verse is in parallel to the Second Chapter of the Bhagavad Gita (Gita 2), distinguishing the Hoor-paar-kraat self (Hpk), which is immortal and invulnerable, with the ordinary animal self. Hpk, your Star self, is not going to be harmed even if you kill your animal self off with an overdose or reckless act while high.

And beyond Gita 2, yes, if you’re an advanced M student, then you’ve assimilated that part of Crowley’s Magister Oath (found in “John St. John” in Equinox I 1, available online)—“I will interpret every phenomenon as a particular dealing of God with my soul.” And as a part of that, you come to recognize that “Every Bad Thing is a Good Thing.” But that’s an advanced notion, not for beginners—it’s a Magister Oath after all, not a Neophyte.

Of course, I cannot claim to know what’s “best” when it comes to last-mile implementation down here on Earth of the principles of L—that’s beyond the mental capacity of my little animal. But I take as my relevant guide here, “. . . her soft feet not hurting the little flowers . . .” One of the M maxims is, “The world is held together with delicate membranes.” I don’t want to go around damaging some other part of the Universe because I’m clumsy, coarse and violent, a bull in a china shop. So whenever I speak positively about drugs, I recognize that may inadvertently influence someone inexperienced into acting recklessly with regard to drugs. I can’t decide for them, as I say, some prefer a reckless lifestyle, but for those who don’t, I want to try to give them a balanced view so they can make a more judicious choice. You know, Liber L, L-Libra, the Scales, which say to me, “The Scales must Balance.”

Hope this helps!

Best,

D.