49. Behold! I am a man. Even a little child might not endure Thee. And lo!
It makes me think of a man whose mental flexibility/dexterity is practiced and disciplined versus a child whose mind has no rigid boundaries yet at all. It also makes me think of the physical capability of a young child versus an adult.
And lo! - he is surprised that he is able to withstand the intensity, yet he is able.
@Ash said
"**45. Then the adept was rapt away in bliss, and the beyond of bliss, and exceeded the excess of excess.
Crazy boys charmed by silence and mystery and crazing about it, being enticed to follow as all the creatures before. The original creature, the dolphin, would not care at all about a meditating master's silent rigid trances. I know I, for one, have raged against the silent gates.
"At the core of my thoughts is a simple question: what passes for inspiration?"
This question - in isolation - has been in my thoughts for a few days now. I feel compelled to comment on it. I am so thoroughly familiar with the question of "Biblical Inspiration" from my own days among the moderate Evangelical academics that I'm fascinated by the way in which my own understanding of the term has evolved over time to this point, with The Book of the Law and other importantly classed documents.
I think I can say it pretty simply. I no longer care for spiritual authority based arguments of "divine inspiration." It's too easy for me to quickly relativize both "divine" and "inspiration." I'm looking for genius. I want to tune into the organizing genius.
I will say that the genius of our meditation text has me feeling rather dumbfounded and naked recently.
Regarding the ravishing of Ganymede. It's a marking, you know. When you have sex with someone, hormones are released that make you feel more and more connected to that person. It creates a certain stability and fixedness in the relationship. That imagery is shocking, I'm sure, but that's the heart of it. He is ravished and inwardly bonded and branded with love for Adonai.
@Dar said
"In that case Takamba - you can go to hell too... And in the old fashioned sense you recognise and approve of instead of the new fangled interpretation presented from my own experience.. I'm not in the mood for people playing pissy games and pretending their (****) is whiter than white and smells lemon fresh to boot.
Or argue a bit more... here (opens the bull gate). 
"
Dar, I know exacly what you're on about. It struck me entirely in the same tone. More than one person today. But they can't see it.
I was impressed at how you first tried not to take it that way. I could tell that took reflection and effort. You get stars from me, anyway.
We're no good here today. Today is a day for other strengths, other meanings.
[Brushing it all off. Taking off the lab jacket. Deconcerning.]
Let's go outside and play instead.
too.... dry... inside... [sound of one hand parching]
Robert,
My point of reference on the interpretation of these images: for me it's not so much a question of liberal versus conservative, as if the liberal interpretation could replace the conservative, both being relative.
This is a true allegory. Each person, place, thing represents something else. Each representation is given in the comment. In its pure form, it's meant to give us both the meaning of the symbols as well as a plotline that demonstrates their natural, healthy transformations. This is authorial intent - or "conservative interpretation." It's designed to make its own imprint on your mind with the symbolism. You don't get any more hard an allegory than one that has its own comment with it published by the author. 
One technique is to just let it make its grooves on you, without necessarily understanding.
Another is to pour over the content analytically, making sure you follow the author's own thoughts precisely to understand the communication perfectly.
A third technique is that of creating projective stories. We do similar things with Rorschach or Thematic Apperception Tests (tell a story about the image). These can be valuable if one has the ability to react honestly, without repressing ideas or emotions - and then the ability to go back and analyze the personal, projected reactions, using the hard "conservative interpretation" as a guide. This technique uses the hard interpretation of the symbols in order to understand and better process the emotional stories we've made with them. But the idea is to let the original images and their meanings eat into emotions creating the projective stories, not vice versa.
Anyway, my thoughts.
"and the æons fled away."
The stories fall away. The great, rolling-forward, ever-evolving, neurologically necessary meta-narative is transcended - What? Christianity? What? Thelema? What? Aeon? What? The tangled knots of Time's story fall away.
Ahh... Rest. Respite from the endless transformations and recalculations and considerations and explanations. Let the Story fall away and remind me what I am - what it is - as it is!
"yet no whither we went."
Ah, yes..., the Story.
Yes. 
My screenname is a tribute to "the Butting One" - the tip of the Bull's horn. When no one else will claim me, old Nati will. He can relate.
"Behold, I have made your face as hard as their faces and your forehead as hard as their foreheads. Like emery harder than flint I have made your forehead. Do not be afraid of them or be dismayed before them, though they are a rebellious house."
And I think that applies to the above topic perfectly.
[not as countering in any way - only giving it as it reflects off of me]
The image of a steel boat gliding along in a river of blood. The incarnation as viewed from the element of Air, perhaps? It's how it strikes me. Even the image representing the Will is cold and metal, golden as it is.
Adrift in a world of blood and passion and gore, reason seeks to rise above it - it seems detached from it. If there is reason that sets motion to such blood and gore, it is reasoned, it must indeed be a cold and calloused reasoning.
If the world is full of blood and gore, let me find my sanity in reason.
If the world is full of cold, dead reason, let me find my insanity in passion.
But they're opposites, right? At odds, and ever must be. One floats above the other like a cold steel boat floating along on a river of blood.
The visionary continues in his quest through love, working against the apparent sight of reason, until he sees the boat, and the goddess, and the river as all partaking of the same living nature - or... not sure how to word the resolution.
[Been trying to rub all the black off. Guess I better remember how to kiss. 
]
"What is lacking is my ability to make an honest connection to the spirit of the text"
I've hated this text in the past. In fact, it was probably my most hated. Classic, now that I've had time to see just how airy I am.
A boat of steel floating in a river of blood. A lifeless golden idol honored within it. The figure hopping in and out of the blood to kiss the idol. Revolting. And what a fitting picture for the river Amrit. The gods that travel on it must be made of metal, with nothing living in them. No ability to relate to the world of lifeblood and breath. The people who worship them, beasts swimming in blood.
If I'd had this as a dream, I might have thrown over the idol and capsized the boat. Damn them all, these dead gods!
That's some of the connection I have to the passage, anyway. Some of the emotions it stirs. It's not all present tense, and I'm understanding it much more clearly this time through, but that's where my mind goes when I read it. Just thought I'd offer.
"Who are you?"
"Who are you?"
Great stuff!
[present. Ponders all these things in his heart.]
This is the first time I've ever even approached understanding this.
Songs from my Christian beginnings.
"At the Moment" - Stavesacre
"
with a sigh i greet the day
the morning on my face
weary at the moment i awake
even as i lie
the thought returns to mind
"welcome to the rest of your life".
somewhere i've lost my way
from saved to stray and failing
in silence my spirit pleads,
"is the vision lost
or has it been passed on?
is there any use continuing?"
my soul will wait
my soul, wait silently
for God, my God (God my refuge)
and i will live
and i know some destiny
still waits for me
his faithfulness, my hope
it brings comfort to my soul
with a still small voice whispering,
"call upon my name and i
will set you up on high
be still and know that i am God"
creation speaks to me
i'm stricken to my knees
in reverance and fear
forever my Almighty
the heavens in your hand
surpass the grains of sand
who am i before you
Elioenai! Eli Adullam!
"
"Wither/Ascend" - Stavesacre (without the musical transitions... tch.)
"the pain will come
with the morning sun
will the night betray the day
blistered skin
withered from within
scratch to shed this shell away
will you know my name
or will i hang my head in shame
will someone take this tired skin
that i've been dying in
will someone hold me to the light
and if I die tonight
then take this broken man
and wrap me tight within
this brand new skin
-/-
watch me fly
freedom like wings and i will use them
freedom like wings and i will spread them wide
watch me fly...
freedom my wings...
freedom my wings...
and rise...!
Oh, and I will rise...!
one day my ashes will return to earthly slumber
spread far and wide across the desert and the sea
until then i will live each day in awe and wonder
look forward to each sunrise
"
I've been reflecting on scattered bits here and there, trying to organize my thoughts into a coherent, communicable whole. To some, it will seem rudimentary, I'm sure. Others may find some use in it. I've been tooling around with some of Dar's terminology to find how it fits in my own universe. It's organized visually, but the relationship between the groupings should be pretty plain. Here's the result:
Given:
nOne
Wisdom
Power
Love
Valid Permutations:
Wisdom+Wisdom
Wisdom+Power
Wisdom+Love
Power+Wisdom
Power+Power
Power+Love
Love+Wisdom
Love+Power
Love+Love.
Reduction:
Wisdom+Wisdom
Wisdom+Power
Wisdom+Love
Power+Power
Power+Love
Love+Love
Terminology:
Mercury
Mars
Moon
Saturn
Jupiter
Venus
Invalid Permutations (">" indicates "greater than"):
Wisdom>Wisdom
Wisdom>Power
Wisdom>Love
Power>Wisdom
Power>Power
Power>Love
Love>Wisdom
Love>Power
Love>Love.
Reduction:
One law of existence is considered inferior out of preference for personal experience of another.
Terminology:
Lies - abuses of truth, “truths,” or Wisdom
Accusations - abuses of Power
Flattery - abuses of Love
Permutations of Invalid Permutations:
Wisdom>Wisdom
Lie: “My wisdom is greater!”
Accusation: “You are ignorant!”
Flattery: “Your wisdom is so much greater!”
Wisdom>Power
Lie: “The use of force is unwise!”
Accusation: “You have abused your power!”
Flattery: “You are wise to submit!”
Wisdom>Love
Lie: “To love is to leave the path of wisdom!”
Accusation: “You have loved foolishly!”
Flattery: “You are wise to protect yourself from love!”
Power>Wisdom
Lie: “Doing something is better than doing nothing!”
Accusation: “You are too far removed from the real world!”
Flattery: “You have acted while others merely talked!”
Power>Power
Lie: “My power is greater!”
Accusation: “You have been so weak!”
Flattery: “Your power is so much greater!”
Power>Love
Lie: “Strength is more important than love!”
Accusation: “Your love makes you weak!”
Flattery: “You crushed your opponent so easily!”
Love>Wisdom
Lie: “Love and give, no matter the price!”
Accusation: “Your reasoning is so cold!”
Flattery: “You have loved and not counted the cost!”
Love>Power
Lie: “Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely!”
Accusation: “You are a reckless beast!”
Flattery: “Bless your merciful heart!”
Love>Love
Lie: “My love is greater!”
Accusation: “You have not loved enough!”
Flattery: “Your love is so much greater!”
Reduction:
Dispersion
Terminology:
“Chasing the Triangle” - in my universe anyway
93
For me, there is the image of a lazy Saturday morning, and a warm booty scooting around under the covers, closer and closer, trying to see if its spooning partner is awake yet, trying to find just the right spot to nestle.
Some things are just irresistable.
Reflection:
A casting down of them that sate in high places
And the grape fell ripe and rich into his mouth
A casting down of them that sate in high places
And the grape fell ripe and rich into his mouth
A casting down of them that sate in high places
And the grape fell ripe and rich into his mouth
x=x
The wise man counted his muscles, and pondered, and understood not, and was sad.
Reap thou, and rejoice!
An imagined conversation. An attempt at a Bhakti approach:
What? You want me to be honest?
Yes.
My fear? -Insanity. My disgust? -Ignorance.
And what have you learned?
I'm pissed at you, Adonai. I trusted you. I've followed you my whole life, and in that moment, trust was complete, and then insanity and chaos followed immediately. If you are indeed real and not a disorder of my mind, what trust have you earned from me?
You've forgotten.
Forgotten what?
Insanity followed?
Yes! ...No. My mouth followed immediately [sigh] and constantly. I had no idea what to expect, nor why to be silent.
And then?
Chaos and insanity.
Go. Subdue thine ignorance, and trust again.