College of Thelema: Thelemic Education

I'm curious if anyone has an opinion on perhaps certain people with certain mindsets latching onto Thelema, who have a perpetual or frequent 'identity crisis' kind of aspect to their personalities, or lack of direction?

Take, for example, Borderline Personality Disorder - something I unfortunately have, and a sort of "Schizo-OCD" (think Howard Hughes). Anyway, it dawned on me that maybe myself and some others, perhaps use Thelema internally at least as an excuse not to set goals in life.

Why? It seems to me that avolition is in fact optimal to maintain as a Thelemite unless and until one has received his or her True Will. I have made contact with my HGA, and received his name. I've been the kind of person who is good at analyzing and even hyper-intellectualizing, but not actually making decisions, planning physical activity... basically poor executive function.

No doubt, some of this if not much may be chemically induced, but I believe I made my question clear:* Could Thelema be, or has it been to your knowledge, adopted by persons who either lack volition or use it to perpetuate the state of avolition, as a reasoning or even 'excuse'?* This could be very complex to speculate upon given multiple factors and a relative vagueness about my thought process and maybe wording. I'm also pressed for time, so thank you for patience and I look forward to any responses if appropriate.

Regards,

C. Norman from Waterbury, CT, USA

Hi all, long time no post. 93.

I haven't been around much as I've stopped formally practising magick a couple years ago.
I'm curious about something though. I am fairly certain I received my HGA's name years ago. Now mind you, I was on a ketamine-like drug. But I used that substance often to induce states which actually expanded my awareness.

The name came to me, and after that, for a long while, Abel would speak to me through my thoughts. So would trees, sometimes, too... this in psychiatry being called 'thought insertion'.
But when it was indeed Abel, I could tell. I just remember the last thing he said to me was not to take this new prescription I had gotten now about 3-4 years ago for lithium carbonate. He said it would make us lose touch forever, even if I came off it. Well, that's what happened.

So that's just a sketch of the situation and I'd love to go into more about who I am, how I am, my hangups.. I'm 27 years old now, I can tell you all that at least. Male, as well. So I've been wondering what could be the significance of the name Abel as my HGA? I know the basic story of Cain and Abel. I am aware some have interpreted it as the body (Cain) overcoming the spirit (Abel) and that Abel was in Biblical history the first human to be murdered. If one's HGA often relates to one's ego and True Will, I'd love some interpretations, even if they aren't cited and speculative in nature. Hope you're all well, and thanks for your time.

Christopher

Thank you, both. Jim, I like your insight and although I'm in the process now of reverting to my Roman Catholic faith in which I was brought up [which could make another thread as I have some questions for Thelemites on the Divinity of Christ and the validity of my "Mother Church"] I was really just curious as Ive been watching documentaries on NK lately. And yes, the stronger the rhetoric the more often the opposite of the rhetoric is true. I'm well aware as I think I said of the 150,000 in these camps who are 3 generations and get randomly executed. I was more sort of asking about the Juche philosophy in its essence rather than how it's carried out. Sort of like how people try to separate Marxism from Stalin's practices and so on and so forth. But really, at the end of the day, infringing on someone else's True Will (including the will to live peacefully and unharmed) is a moral violation in my opinion, and such a law as Thelema, pretending that the question of worshipping the Abrahamic God and Jesus is not in the picture, is practically perfection.

If anyone would be interested and is a Linux user there's a distribution they made called "Red Star OS"
kevinchen.co/blog/installing-north-korea-red-star-o

Funnily it uses and re-names this older version of Firefox which supposedly limits your browsing capabilities to like the one main North Korean hub of their own sort of LAN they have that's not connected to the world wide web. Anyway, thank you both. Will be curious to see if anyone else has thoughts on this.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=7y0Yrkjkkk

There are many videos about Juche, and a whole wikipedia article. I wanted some opinions here. I've seen many sides of the argument over NK. The 4 corners documentary shows how many people in the more remote towns are really starving to death, which is not right. Then you've got the American defector who died I think in 2004 and defected during the Korean war from the US side and ran right through the DMZ. He had nothing but good things to say about the regime and the people, culture, and whatnot.

A big driving point in the philosophy of Juche is that mankind and each individual man or woman are the creators of their own destiny. This sounds oddly individualistic in light of Eastern cultures mostly being more the opposite.

And just for the heck of it here's some streaming footage of actual North Korean (1 channel) television:
original.livestream.com/channelnk

I sort of see him as the Freud of Western esotericism. Correct, but politically incorrect. You'll run into plenty shallow flakey feminist 'pagans' and whatnot who don't like him. That's just how it is. I was just arguing with a Christian on youtube (fuck me) about Crowley. He started by saying Crowley wrote the Satanic Bible. Proved that one wrong. Then moved onto allegations of Crowley performing ritual animal and human sacrifice. Also said the Abramelin ritual is 'Satanic' because it's meant to "open the gates of Hell". Oh and his parting argument was that Crowley had a pet dog named "Satan". Haha. It's just funny when if your theology doesn't account for or acknlowedge the existence of Satan, a Christian can and will at times use that in itself to call you or your views Satanic. So, not believing in the devil is devilish. I think we've all heard that "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing people he didn't exist." Or something like that.

It is pretty well-established that Crowley advocated, at least at one point in his writings, that children be exposed to every sexual act under the Sun, basically. Not having it done to them, but witnessing it. I suspect this was Crowley's idea in order to make sex less taboo and possibly lessen repression in adulthood. Not sure, though. But, people I end up debating, or rather arguing with never cease to use wingnut sources for their information on Crowley. I suggest reading his own works for themselves, and give them a link to Liber Al with the commentaries on Hermetic.com . But, no, that would be too close to the person whose character they're trying to kill. Makes no sense and at best I think engaging with bigoted Christians is only good for entertainment anymore.

Hi all. Long time, no post here.

I once had a Quran and in a rather manic state, while I was very much into Thelema, I was reading it and came up with this idea that 'Allah' actually was in reference to the Higher Self, or perhaps even the Ego. When read that way, of course, the whole text takes on radically different meaning. Was that the intention? Probably not, and that idea certainly wasn't genius. But it was interesting, anyway. You should have heard my ex's reaction at that time (an Indonesian Muslim).

Thanks for responding , Jim. It's just that I find it hard to visualize such things in my mind so I had to ask, even if it sounded like a stupid question. Also, someone on #Hermetics on undernet IRC said something about you devising a new type of astrology or something. Is this true?

Jim,

When you cite these dates for Astrological 'ages' are you using the Tropical or Sidereal system? Because sidereal is much more scientifically accurate, as it accounts for the precession of the equinoxes.

Is there any such place as a modern Abbey of Thelema with monks residing? Or are there any plans to create such a thing? I think it would be really wonderful to have such a place where Thelemites could dwell and perhaps live by certain precepts.

I'm sure many are familiar with The Secret Teachings of all Ages by Manly P. Hall and I'm sure many purchase it and just set it on the shelf to look smart. But, for those who have read it, I have a question. In the chapter on 'Mystic Christianity' towards the back around page 586 2nd paragraph Hall writes 'The child Christ is presresented almost as an imp, cursing and destroying those who annoy him." This aporcryphal work, calculated to inspire its readers with fear and trembling, was popular duing the Middle Ages because it was in full accord with the cruel and persecuting spirit of medieval Christianity. Like many other early sacred books, the book of Thomas was FABRICATED for two closely allied purposes: first, to outshine the pagans in miracle working; second, to inspire all unbelievers with the "fear of the Lord." Apocrypha writings of this sort have no possible basis in fact.

Alright well I find it odd that this book can be considered one of necessity for all occultists. Where are these claims based? Anyone who reads the Gospel of Thomas can see that it doesn't even speak of Jesus as a child at all. It is him speaking as an adult, in fact. What evidence is there that the Gnostic gospels are forgeries?

Has anyone ever stumbled upon this site and its various articles?

www.parareligion.ch/

It is interesting, but I'm wondering how legit it might actually be.. starts out seemingly a bit passive-agressive by calling the OTO 'pseudo-Masonic' organization...but the proprietor claims Gnosticism is all about sperm as the seed of life, etc..

I'll post more as I find things in specific I want answers on, but if anyone has comments, let me know ::)

@Ethar said

"Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.

"As much as I love Crowley's works, and Thelema as a whole, I can't help but notice the Judeo-Christian undertones to some of the rituals"

Uh, no, there's no such thing, not in the way you would understand it most of the time.

"such as the lesser banishing ritual of the pentagram with the Hebrew names,"

Way to lose a valuable tool.

"or the idea of the Kabbalistic (Jewish) tree of life."

Way to lose the idea on which most (effectful) ceremonial magic is based.

"Is there a way to reconcile my own lack of respect for the goody-goodness of the 10 commandments and Judaism and Thelema?"

There's no point in holding a grudge against something if you want to make progress because, at some point, whatever is you're running from, it's gonna catch up with you. What do the Ten Commandments have anything to do at all? If they weren't obsolete before, then sure as hell they were declared obsolete with the reception of the Book of the Law. Kabbalah (not Judaism) is a tool. Don't let yourself get enslaved by your feelings about something you think has anything to do with the tool.

"Or must I move on to a more truly 'pagan' tradition if I want to further develop my practices?"

To run away more effectively, yes. To further develop your practices, I give no guarantee.

Love is the law, love under will."

Thank you; this clarifies everything perfectly for me. I must tell you all that at the time I created this topic I was under the heavy influence of dissociatives. Dissociatives are in a sense the 'dark' counterpart to the light-hearted psychedelic. My mind was simply brooding with hatred, and I seem to have effectively tapped into the lower animal part of myself. I hardly even really hold the opinion that anything Judeo-Christian is 'BS' whilst sober. This serves as a reminder to myself how embarrassingly silly my own demeanor can become when under the influence of that liquid devil.

And, yes, I'm realizing more and more now the distinction between a tradition's core truths, and their dogma. Even to the point where I don't totally resent the way in which I was brought up Catholic, because I think the daily eucharist is both, as Crowley described it, a wonderful commemoration and consummation every day it's offered. It's just a matter of how I choose to relate to the symbol(s) of the Cross, etc, etc, etc... I could honestly go on for days. But I just want to thank everyone for tolerating my own ignorance so well. My original post really sounded inflammatory and basically stupid.

" The reason being I believe is that MDMA operates as an empathogen and I was able to emotionally open up to myself, diving into the root issues of the past causing me the present pain and discomfort."

The same can be done, probably more safely neurochemistry-wise with dissociatives such as ketamine. I'd much rather screw around with glutemanergics than dopamanergics any day. Besides, it's hard to find the pure stuff...

Re: MDMA,
I would be quite careful with the stuff. There's a good possibility that it permanently destroys dopamanergic axons in the brain. Which, needless to say, could leave you feeling permanently more depressed, or with even more neuroses than one had to begin with. This knowledge comes from Dr. Mark Viner's book called 'Suicide'. So you can check there if you'd like, and he lists his own source for the alarming concept.

Acid, on the other hand, and mushrooms, can be beneficial methinks.

So far, as I've made it about 1/3 of the way through Diary of a Drug Fiend, it is dawning on me that with the more fiendish substances like stimulants and opiates/opioids, one must simply learn to go all the way with them, sliding down the cliff at ridiculous speeds head-first, and then just before going over the edge promptly stand up and halt! That's the trick with those things, knowing when to stop for a week or a month or even just a couple of days or hours, knowing that it's for the best and that you can resume use whenever you really think it's in your Will to do so.

Sorry for ranting... my own opioid medication has me rather stimulated right now

Blessings,
Chris

Well, maybe this is a silly question, but they're what I'm good at asking!

Is there any connection between the composite deity Heuraha and the old Pharaoh Hor-Aha (who succeeded Narmer)?

The two words certainly sound alike.

Love,
Frater Tenc

I wholeheartedly agree with Jim on just about every point he's made (which I've actually read) so far. As someone who both has experienced social anxiety growing up, and knows quite a bit about psychiatry, I can tell you one thing: Through my use of, shall we say, 'sacred substances', combined with deep meditation and also at the same time conversing with others, I've come to know what I expect most from people, and what my role is exactly. I expect other people to provide me with love. My inner psyche is almost like that of a wounded child. Pathetic as this may sound to judgemental folk, it is true. Trauma in my past has given me a false sense of who I really am, and I carried the burden of hurt far too long.

Also, in a sense, it's not always so much about discovering who you are, but accepting that which you already know. Like Jim said, we are really lead into the present more by future influences than past events. Personally, lately, I've been looking to the celestial bodies for guidance and answers as to what I'm experiencing on a day-to-day basis both psychologically and physically.

Furthermore, yes, I would recommend staying away from Enochian magick at least for the time being. As someone with schizophrenia (or schizoaffective perhaps - diagnoses have become meaningless and sort of blend into one another), I simply won't go near it until I feel I'm ready. And that might be never, which is perfectly okay. The LBRP has helped immensely to sort of purge the excess elemental energy from me (at least that's how I see it working). I'm mostly dominated by Fire, which is rather wild in and of itself. It must be let out somehow!

Bless you, and I wish you luck.

Edit - By the way, in case you weren't aware of it, I'd just like to say that astro.com is a wonderful resource for astrological predictions, readings, etc...it really helps to know the exact time you were born, and of course, the city in which you were born.

As much as I love Crowley's works, and Thelema as a whole, I can't help but notice the Judeo-Christian undertones to some of the rituals such as the lesser banishing ritual of the pentagram with the Hebrew names, or the idea of the Kabbalistic (Jewish) tree of life. Is there a way to reconcile my own lack of respect for the goody-goodness of the 10 commandments and Judaism and Thelema? Or must I move on to a more truly 'pagan' tradition if I want to further develop my practices?

Every man and every woman is a star

What happens when stars collide with each other?

Thanks to everyone for their replies. Just in case anyone was curious, I'm still doing pretty damn well keeping myself away from addiction. Since the original post, I've once taken my Suboxone recreationally, had one alcoholic drink, and taken a prescription stimulant once. I have a little problem with complete abstinence. I think moderation is key. The last AA meeting I went to was last night, and I suddenly felt very uncomfortable in a room of people, most of whom I don't know at all, sharing their experiences and was almost afraid they would call on me to share myself. This is a radical change considering I spoke at almost every meeting I had gone to when I recently got sober, and felt no social anxiety. I blame it on the fact that I was "hypomanic" (bipolar elevated mood state) most of that time, so my self-esteem was inflated. I literally felt like everything and everyone around me was a part of me. Sadly in psychiatry this is considered problematic and I was promptly put on lithium carbonate. Now I'm on day 5 of taking it, and those feelings of ego dissolution have gone, along with feelings of restlessness and agitation and irritablity. Seems you just can't have it all. Everything in moderation, I suppose. But if I so desire I can always stop taking the lithium and maybe within 5 days I'll be feeling like a God again A restless God.

93
93/93

I'll start out by saying I'm "bipolar" or manic-depressive. Recently I've gone into a state of hypomania, and the psychiatrist I see decided to put me on lithium. I've only been on it though for 2 days now, and it hasn't really taken effect yet.

Anyway, now that I'm 14 days clean from abusing any substances I find that since my mood is no longer effected by them, I've been having more undesirable moods like depressed feelings or feeling too much energy to handle.

Interestingly I got back into my ritual practice for the first time in a couple months today, and noticed something: In my hypomanic state I performed the LBRP with four banishing Earth pentagrams and when I finished, suddenly my mood went from a little too high to a little too low.

A few hours later, after being tired of feeling suddenly so down and tired, I performed it again but used the invoking Earth pentagrams instead. Now my energy is back and I feel great! I was wondering if anyone else had this sort of experience with this particular ritual and I'm also wondering one other thing: what sort of mood effects can I expect by invoking or banishing the other elements: Air, Fire, Water, and Spirit (if that counts as one to you)

I'm very intruiged that my "mental illness" can actually be treated by performing rituals more effectively perhaps than taking medications! It's exciting to me.

Thanks everyone

93
93/93

Thank you, Jim. You really go out of your way to help answer my questions

I think I'll discuss the 11th step at a meeting tonight. Talk about the lack of difference between "my will" and "God's will" and maybe speak a bit about "True Will". Unfortunately from my experiences at AA meetings, and NA for that matter, they don't talk very often about spirituality. Maybe it's because they don't want to get people arguing about different beliefs and what is "right", and petty things like that.