College of Thelema: Thelemic Education

i simply have to say it at the risk of causing offence to everyone who's posted,but i'll assume everyone here has a well functioning sense of humour.

with all this time spent reading so many books on other peoples ideas,where do you folks ever have chance to formulate your own? cause frankly people,i aint really seen much spark from anyone.

it seems all anyone wants to do is quote directly from books they've read,take a very "adult and educated" approach to answering the question all the while side stepping and real involvement they may or may not have had.(to those who actually have come out with personal experience's as opposed to trying to create the pro-con arguement,disreguard this entire post)

now,i'm not asking for a swapping of "dude...this one time i was sooooo high..." stories,and i've heard these re-hashings of "studies" conducted by everyone from timmy leary to my friend hamish "the worlds last true hippie". none of it means squat if nobody actually can say "i used this and had this effect....it was (insert answer here)".

i realize we'ld all like to be taken VERY seriously as practisioners of the magickal arts,and we all love sharing our vast knowledge learned from things someone else has done, but lets be honest, there is no book written on any subject that can replace first hand experience on the matter.

i've been through timmy learys endless writings on lsd and its great spirtual and human meaning,and had enough "just say no" lectures from people with no actual first hand experience to last me pretty much right up untill my ears stop working in the final throes of death.

all this over-thinking and intellectualizing is a fast path to absolutely nowhere.
like a very insightfull bumper sticker says...words-action=crap,and i'll bet the guy who wrote that didnt sit around backing it up with 45 scientific sources lol

the solomon of the bible i have slightly better knowledge of than the solomon of the grimoires,through some research into "jesus as a political figure" theories i'ld heard of. it does make more sense to me that the two be different from each other.

now mary magdalene is another name i've found to lead in a few directions,as theres so many conflicting opinions. i know that theres one school of thought which makes her a former prostitute who went on to become jesus's wife,but,and not to sound disrespectful to anyones opinion,but there were a lot of mary's as best i can understand during that time frame,and maybe only jesus himself knew who was who.

in my way of thinking,the terms slave and or prostitute "could" be taken for actually meaning "sexually uninhibited",and i believe its fair to say that even now,a woman who's sexually uninhibited frightens a good portion of people,and draws disdain from a good many more,having said that...i know a good handfull of people who worship at the alter of jenna jamieson,and i dont just mean staring at her videos.

lsd is an iffy drug to get hold of,because of how many bucketturners are tossing lord knows what together and selling it off with catchy names.this is the major reason i no longer trip (havnt done "acid" in at least 7 years,and i'm calling it acid for the reason it wasnt very good).if i found a source of decent quality purple mic,or even trustworthy blotter,i might be tempted,in a safe place with good people and away from my children,yes,i might indeed be tempted.

the "better trips" i've had on purple mic were beautifully introspective,at a time i desperately needed that depth and force to open my eyes to new concepts.i can only say that i'm more than grateful for those experiences,they were the beginning of the path this poor fool is still treading.

with "shrooms",i had total access,as they grew naturally everwhere in my hometown and the surrounding woods.we'ld fill garbage bags with them,sometimes having so many between our little crew that we'ld have to store them in my mums celler,waiting for most to dry,eating some fresh off the ground.never once did i have a bad experience during any of those days,only "sweetness and light" as we used to be fond of saying. it took my longer than most to figure out that this "trip" had a higher purpose when done correctly,but i always left with a feeling of connection to the world that i never got anywhere else.

everyone here seems to have first hand experience with all these things,and it isnt my place to try and swing opinion,though hearing your opinions helps me gain a bigger picture of where i want to go.

pot has always been a dear old chum of mine,but as everyone knows,a man can get lazy when he spends too much time with old friends lol.at this moment,i find it very usefull in helping my concentration,preparation,and focus. for some reason when i'm high my tinnitus (i cant spell it...makes my ears buzz like hell though....) doesnt seem to be as upfront,making it easier for me to relax.

i do hope that with time patience and practise i can move further away from the "beginners tool set" i'm using now.
but i dont want to completely remove the possibilty of bringing them back out down the line.

ahh,...i have indeed always thought i have a wonderful speaking voice over a microphone..lol...i could be an abbie hoffman if i only had better ideas LOL.

an entire nation of empowered people is the dream in many of our hearts,even if none of us can be sure what that would mean to our day to day life.sometimes a dream is better left a dream untill proper time for waking...

when the issue of drug enforment laws is on the table,in all honesty,one side of the debate stands to lose a lot more from a slight change,and it aint us.i can attest to having lived through one shake up with marijuana reform in canada some years ago,when the possession/trafficing limits were updated (long story short,most police stopped giving REAL trouble if you were carrying less than ten grams,15 you might still get away if you speak nice,any more than that youve got to smile pretty when the judge looks your way and hope that sleazybugger of a lawyer doesnt have somewhere better to place his half coked out mind)....this small change in the system confused both the police AND the "stoners" alike,as lets be honest,most of them dont really take in the news very well between bong blasts.

for us LEGAL age and not completely burnt users,this while relieving the stress of "gettin busted maaaan" for picking up a bit more when cash wasnt short,or small time dealers helping out some friends from seeing the insides of a prison term,also inflated the whole market with UNDERAGE kids,some of whom didnt respond to the drug well,some who instantly got caught for acting like idiots,and more seriously warned to keep out of the "big dogs" way.
it made as many problems as it had solved.

well known "spots" where pot users gathered would suddenly get ambushed by police desperately hoping to catch someone with an unopened ounce,god help the poor bugger once they get hold of him.countless wasted police hours wasted chasing some guy with nowhere near enough on him to have made that paranoia fueled 6 block chase worth the hassle,real crimes happening that there was nobody to cover,and a loss in quality that made us older types kind of wish things hadnt changed at all.....it has evened out slowly since,but my point here is,when even the smallest changes ripple,how can we be expected to handle waves?...
i dont know personally,but i'm willing to help fill sandbags...i brung my own shovel lol

since solomon was mentioned,i'll toss this out in the middle and see what happens lol.

i watched one of those "history chanel" documentaries(i know,i'm boring,i prefer documentaries to hollywood...but i cannot stand another die hard film) where they posed the theory that solomon was actually a collective of "magicians" as opposed to a single person.since i have only minimal knowledge of solomon (the cliff notes basically lol),is that anything one should consider as important?...

either way though...big temple....bossing demons around...kingdom chock full of buxom holy whores....ahhh...to be so lucky lol

now see folks,i hate to be the voice of authority on any subject,but somehow the initial point of "oi folks,anyone else find this useful" is turning into that boring ass debate that's been played out for far too long about whos right who's wrong and how the great american eagle guides us all into the brave new nothing lol.

but since the initial topic's been strayed,which is fine,i'm gonna drag it one more step into left feild,right after a roll a joint.(insert 3 minute pause here......)

now,we all by now,as free thinking reasonably intelligent people should realize the drug war and the law's its created,are more about harnassing personal freedoms,ideals,and even ones spiritual awareness,and untill the earth itself breathes its last gasp,the right wing will always be fighting the left wing,and neither could give a fiddler's about the bird in the middle so long as they feel like big strong alpha-brains.

timothy leary,aleister crowley or bob down the street cant decide for us in the here and now folks,theyre dead,and all we have left is the words they chose to scribble down,and in my life,i've learned one valueable lesson,anyone who plots thier direction off the back of any one source is only going to find a dead end.its absolutely useless to us wheather timothy leary was the new living embodiment of crowley's vision,nor if crowley was the new jesus christ,folks,we are each as important in the grander scheme as they are.

but to call charles manson "mad in a bad way" is jumping the gun,and i wish more people would put more effort into actually finding out what he WAS guilty without a shadow of a doubt of,and what he WASNT,and forget the media swing,and that peice of toilet paper "helter skelter".actually listen to the man speak,and you may find yourselves re-thinking about a good many things.
there is no question,that this man who spent over half his life in "reform" has an understanding of the human mind,emotions,and society beyond measure,and for that matter,magick.plus,theres been many other great minds who were seen as "mad,evil,criminal,murderer" that i see a large portion of folks chasing after like crooked lawyers behind an ambulance,each seeing what they like and blind to the rest.but all this is beside the point...

we arent living in the days of our spiritual forefathers,and we arent living thier lives.
i may be lynched for this statement but,steal the best of what they had to offer,put it in use,toss the rest over your shoulder. its garbage and dead weight on your journey....dont just sit there reading words like "every man and woman is a star",get off your chair and LIVE it like the god you are.
thats what leary,crowley,christ and anyone else who actually "got it" did....and we all should be doing...and to hell with the laws that bind us.
.......they cant catch what they cant SEE....and that alter in your basement is gonna cause just as much hoo-hah to the eye of a cop as that ashtray full of roaches and the red tinge to your eyes.....any of you out there police officers?...give us the OFFICAL view of "satanic ritual abuse" for 2010 please?...get a lil perspective of how mr.crowley's viewed in the eye of the lawman?...

we can agree on one crucial point, drugs work for some people,and dont for others.
can we all stop tossing quotes and stats now,and try to beat our way through the forest of unknowns and collect "data".
if you've used drugs in a magickal setting,what was the scenario,and what were its effects?
did you find it helped or hindered?
in your opinion,was it successfull?

we're all sitting here with the power to lay down roadwork for the future,our own and for those to follow.and its our DUTY to make sure its documented somehow to be of help to our spiritual decendants.
heres as good a place as any.....so write it down

i've sort of stayed distant on this thread in a way,i suppose because i was interested to see what conversations would arise and what perspectives offered,and then it dawned on me,i've never fully explained how deeply magick is involved in my relationship with my gorgeous pixie.

i am her master,24 hours a day,7 days a week,and in turn she is my slave,and yet we're equals in every imaginable way,as you all well know,a master without a slave is emptiness personified.
she is my goddess and becomes the physical embodiment of all female divinity,she is kali,she is lilith,she is eve's inborn hunger for the taste of the apple,she is the bitch to my beast,and never beneith me,never above me,she IS who i am and aspire to become.

she is my mistress without exchanging or forgetting her place she willingly and whole heartedly accepts at my feet,she is initiation,intuition,a vision and the prophet combined,a question and an answer unasked and unanswered,she is baphomet and abraxas,duality and individual,a sacriment and sacrifice,she is oshun dancing in the shadows on our wall,she is the ritual and the ceremony,and the word of the high christ the bible buried in the depths of the vatican's basement.

she is the alter on which i present my offering,and in return i offer myself as the same for her,she is the very essence of my own true will,and within her own all the while.

i am drunk on her glances,and tranced at the words she speaks when we enter the unseen temple,she provides the mindscape while i provide the landscape,populated by spirits of the air and demons of the sinning flesh...

i cannot breathe without her,she is my addiction,there is nothing she could ask for that i wouldnt do,and because of this knowledge asks for so little it could be mistaken for nothing at all.

she is my dark mother,hellbent on destruction and leaving the trail of creation in her wake,a new world that destroys the chains of my past and hers,and her love heals the scars that cover my body as a reminder that all the past is best left behind.

she is the love of my life,my closest friend and most playful enemy,a sparring partner never afraid to throw hands at face level,and a poet who traces the untold lines of history back to a time before existance existed.

she is my everything,my universe,my heart and the one who helped me find my soul.

".....everythings clearer on her side of the mirror,everythings clearer in my broken mirror...and all the stars refused to shine all the way between her house and mine........."

ps...maybe this post isnt so much for everyone else,maybe its for my beloved kedeishah...

my old friend does have them shifty eyes lol,but i did read the papers myself,and although i wouldnt put it passed the churches i grew up being blacklisted by to have slipped in untruths and downright lies,i also have no way of knowing how many times these documents had been re-written over the years and changed to suit the day's agenda.

it isnt so much that i dont trust online sources like wikipedia or snopes,but a good deal of the information they provide is from the average person,who again,we cant be sure is trustworthy (i point the huge accusing finger of iblis at "the smoking gun"...more bulldookie than a dairy farmer can shovel with a tenfold crew of backhoes)

also,the for unlawful carnal knowledge quote i take from a family member who spent 25 years in the canadian military,again,upon reflection,i cant say 100% his word is gold,but considering he's never been proven false in any other matter i've known of(despite being kind of a donkey-hole,pardon my childish nature lol).

the concept though of a holy whore,or sacred prostitute is one that i'm looking into more and more,as at a glance names like "mary magdalene" and "lilith" keep cropping up,pixie found some hindu and middle eastern (forgive my lack of proper wording,late nights catching up with the old brain today) uses.

makes me wonder if this is why the sex industry is frowned upon by so many so heavily in todays society,in a roundabout way

i've been thinking heavily over the last couple days about trying to enter a meditative state while focusing on a sigil of my own design as an experiment,by doing the same exercise two nights running while high on "that old devil weed"(sorry,for some reason heard me mums voice yelling at my 17 year old self for a second lol),and then,taking two days off,and again doing the same exact things only completely sober,to compare the results and effect it has on my overall being,for lack of a better phrase atm.
now,not having done it yet,i'm thinking that the results "should" by all standards be quite different,yet intertwined.

has anyone else tried anything like this,and if so,did you find the results varied by huge degrees or only slightly?

i'm going to make notes best i can,as i do tend to find it hellishly hard to write things down after such rituals,a problem i need to sort so i can reference my own damned experiences lol.

and yes,there is no greater threat to a persons stash than a cat with a serious drug addiction lol,i havnt had the misfortune to have such a thing happen,but the stories i've heard from others leave me in stitches lol

just a quick note in addition,as i've forgotten to mention my key source lol

some years ago,while still living in canada,a good friend of mine was hired to update church records to pc files,some dating back to the early 1700's,some having been brought from merry olde england upon the colonization process that pretty much created our "beloved(yeah) nation"

on a good pile of these yellowed and not very well looked after documents,the phrase "fornication under the consent of the king" was indeed written,usually about three to four weeks before a wedding took place.

i'll also add that the man who hired my friend for this task made damned sure this particular phrase was NOT added in the new updated files,for what i consdier to be fairly obvious reasons.

i'm not saying wikipedia is usually wrong by any means,but i think its far from the be all end all of information,as there are many times i'm personally left wondering "now what jackass put this one in?..." lol

an interesting sidenote (to me anyway),also in these church record updates,there seemed to be an awfully high number of times the church itself had burned down,yet,these records didnt end up ashes,although mention was made of "the collection of forbidden to the public" works of poetry and art,and books of an "ungodly" nature.

now,who got a time machine and would like to help me figure out what was in THAT collection!

actually,everyone favourite four letter word has a couple of "offical" uses,and i'm certain plenty more not so official lol.

fornication under (the) consent (of the) king is in fact one of its earliest usable sources,although i'm not exactly certain many people of the times it was used abbreviated it quite the way we might

for unlawful carnal knowledge (in addition to being a fine van halen album lol) is another well overused abbreviation,and as best i can find,is origionally a military term,although for some reason,my gut instinct tells me this might not be exactly true,although i'm also aware of whats been explained to me as "nam" era terms such as fugazi and snafu,so this does seem a likely fit in accordance.

all words have certain magickal abilities attached in my opinion,and the ones who offend the most people tend to be my personal favourites lol,i wouldnt call it exactly "high magick",but there is a lovely feeling sometimes in pointing certain ones at people giving grief,as i'm sure there isnt one of us who wouldnt like to toss it (mixed with a few choice embellishments lol) at that landlord/boss/ex lover or that guy at work everyone wants to strangle.

besides all that fun stuff,the concept of "the holy whore" is something i'm doing more looking into,and find it mind shattering at some of the things one finds when typing it into google.

now,i dont suppose anyone knows of any good porn sites where theres buxom young nuns speaking unbelievable blasphemies?...lol...uh,.but...nevermind lmao

i'm not trying to nitpick here,but,i'm finding folks are very carefully choosing thier words,and this while expanding my own thoughts on the matter,does somewhat also seem strange as i try to incorperate it within my own experiences.

now,i'm asking this because i think i'm misunderstanding the last post completely,and i'ld like to properly be able to take it on board.

"demonstration" to me would mean,"almost like the experience,but not THE experience" i.e,an altered state of conscienceness.

as a musician (though thats a loose term for a man who beats the hell out of things with sticks,i've always considered myself a "drummer" but not exactly a "musician",and have hockey playing friends back home who consider themselves "goalies" but not "hockey players"...strange as it seems lol),when i've done "demonstrations" for people in past years,it was a general overview of "how" a drumkit works in basic theory as opposed to "playing" the kit in the proper setting."almost" the real thing,but not quite the real thing.

i'ld once again like to stress that i'm not trying to become the tot drug dealer or timothy leary reincarnation lol.however....

isnt anything that takes out outside of our normal day-to-day mindset and typical way of thinking/feeling a valid "altered state"? i'm not just refering to drugs here either.

if one listens to repetative music,or music based around "drone" at high enough volume,they can find themselves suddenly,and for prolonged periods,in a trance state and more easily in tune to spiritual visions/messages...i suppose,more opened spiritually than they were before.i believe this is why brian jones recorded the "joujouka" album,and the idea that the stones great album "thier satanic majesties request" was based around.this is also a major interest of mine,and one i spend a good deal of time exploring.

some people drive at stupidly high speeds to feel "in tune" with "the road".while i myself am better off walking than driving,my own brother is one of these people,and has more times than i like to recall(as his passenger) began speaking in almost hippy-esque limerik style while pushing a car upward of 100 mph,looking more at me than the road itself yet never once missing a turn,almost as if being guided safely,while his own thoughts were nowhere close.this i admit,may not be the best example,but one i myself think is valid in its own way.

i've also known what today are called "extreme sport's atheletes" (in my day known as "those damnable kids on skateboards GET OUT OF MY POOL") who lose themselves and become "one" with the sound of the wheels,never once doubting they'll land that trick from the 25 foot drop to the unforgiving pavement below.no thought,no fear,listening to a voice they themselves may not even hear clearly,but trusting it all the same.

people seem to discourage certain methods of finding ones own divinity,or connecting to a higher star than themselves.i believe some of this is a fear of thier experiences being either laughed at or looked down on as not as valid,or worse yet,that absolutely silly idea that they'll not be taken as "adult" enough.

i'm bastardizing the quote,but i seem to recall crowley saying something like..."take strange drugs",yet so many of his pupils seem to find the idea almost replusive,and this my friends makes no sense to me,the exact reason i suppose i keep asking you all to clarify,as i openly admit i may indeed be missing youre most valid points.

i dont know if this will help or not,but i do want to say,youre far from alone.

i had no interest in sex for quite a long time,actually,i may have been the only teenage boy who wasnt horny 24 hours a day,and this carried through into my late 20s.when the question of sex came up with a woman,i tried to act best i could through it,usually to a disapointed audience(i do look back on those days with a good deal of humour now,i took some serious ego beating lol)

now,i dont know of a ritual,but a suggestion is,make a list of the things that make you feel apprehensive,or hesitant about sex with the one you care for.then,lame as it sounds,another list of the things that make you feel "right" about it.put a little bit of thought into this,but not obsessively.

when youve finished,take the list of "negative" and burn it.a symbolic gesture of "this is now behind me,"...keep the list of "positive" as a first step on the road youre on now.i realize this sounds a bit flakey,but sometimes just putting the ten minutes into writing it down takes a little bit of the energy away from the negatives.

the other thing i'll say is,when a connection is "real" between two people,a certain amount of patience is already felt on both sides.i too went through some long patches of celibacy (monks should have taken a lesson from me lol),and i know how damned hard it is to get ones mind back into a sexual relationship.

and stay away from viagra (youre choice i realize)...i havnt had it,but i only hear horror stories from those who have.everyone says the headache after taking it lasts for days,although again,i personaly havnt tried it.

i really enjoyed your post froclown,and appreciate your opinion,however,it inspires me to reply because i simply wouldnt be giving the whole story otherwise.

theres a very definate line between "enjoyment" and "dependency",and while some people (who in my experience have usually tended to be weaker willed and slightly less than stable) develop a dependant relationship with non addictive drugs like marijuana,the majority of pot smokers never do.i believe many folks tend to forget one of the best things about marijuana use,the ability to lose one's self and enjoy a well functioning sense of humour,be rid of the stress of daily events (which is also the reason many people seem to require that glass or ten of wine in the evenings,or that two finger glass of bourban),and any one with half a sense of self realizes that these substances dont rid one of lifes troubles,but do help put distance between them and therefore aid the ability to re-think a situation.

what one may take as "distortion" of the senses,or reality,or focus,another may indeed take as a truer portrait of the reality at that moment.high doses of lsd are (in my opinion,and only an opinion) probably not the best tool to use when performing any ritual,or for that matter the simple task of making a sandwich.

there are plenty of substances/drugs i havnt done,and more i certainly wouldnt want to,as i've witnessed first hand casualties of ketamine,cocaine,heroin,and the mixed bag stir-a-pot pills that oh so many folks seem to gobble down like smarties.however,i dont for a moment believe there arent some people in this world quite capable of handling even those,even if i dare not tread such waters.

its very easy for us to quote statistics and textbook definitions,but lets not forget that these stats and books are written by people who've never had the courage to test themselves while using the very subjects they write about.untill timothy leary,there simply were no scources whatsoever written by people with actual experience,and sadly,we've tended to venture back to that sad state of affairs these days.

but are we truely to ignore the fact that since time itself began,mystics and shaman and see'ers worldwide have used all manner of "herbs and spices" to attain higher wisdom? the very person we come here to celebrate and learn from was an advocate of such devices for the exact reason,even if by all "straight" accounts,mr.crowley died a morphine addict,penniless and all but forgotten.somehow friends,i get this sneaking feeling those reports may have been written by people not very fond of his beliefs,but i admit i may indeed be wrong there.

as i've said before,i dont advocate drug use of any kind for everybody.for some of us,the legal status is an issue,for others,it just simply wouldnt do any good,and they have thier own methods.

my reason origionally for posting this topic was to see if others saw the value in these methods,and i'm very pleased with everyones responses,and i thank you all for taking the time from your day to write them.it does mean the world to me to have others opinions,as i spent many years living in a place where access to ANY information was impossible,and one could get a savage beating for being interested whatsoever in magick,and uttering aleister crowleys name would get you blacklisted within a 200 mile stretch (sadly folks,this is very true,even if you find it hard to imagine places like that exist)

i do want to clear up something which i think some of you are taking the wrong way.
i AM a proud pothead....as opposed to "sceintific cannibus user",i've never been quite that pretentious,even when i was a glamrocker lol.if anyone believes that my pride in being such is to garner respect,quite honestly,my opinions on "respect" would take an entire new post,but the condensed version is,there is no such thing except the respect one has for themself.should others believe you to be a decently put together human being,than a more correct term would be "friendship",as the very word respect has been so savagely molested that it no longer holds much weight (again,this is only my opinion).

maybe the reason i take pride in my pot use is,i remember who i was before i smoked herb,and it wasnt very nice.
i dont care much to reflect on those darker times,but suffice to say that i'm no longer the self destructive,violent,angry or depressed person i was back then,and the very tool that dug me out of that pit was marijuana,and had it not changed my outlook on things with such force,i may never have discovered my path to my "true will".i may not have gotten all the way up the ladder yet,but i know rung by rung i'm making progress.

so,in a ritual setting,or even slightly more relaxed and casual spell casting,i have found certain drugs to be of great use.in fact,as a sacrifice,a good sized "bud" offered to a certain spirit i speak with was greeted with a whisper in my ear that still happens almost daily,and guides my way toward a higher sense of self (no pun intended)

dude,you dont understand proud pothead?...youre stoned!..(sorry,had to lol,reflections of my lost youth)
i havnt done acid in a while,i have children now,alas,i'm an old man....half bald,you know the tale),but it did allow me to tap into that state of awareness with a bit of effort,where i can seperate "me" from "emotion",this has helped me more than i can express in more areas of my life than i could even explain,the most important being that i found true faith,not blind faith.
and i've sat smiling and thinking about "is it our trueself or an aspect of us",i thouroughly enjoyed mulling that question over all night.i believe when one is completely uninhibited,we speak more freely(sometimes not a good thing,as many people who've had that twelve drinks too many and looked the boss in the eye at the christmas party.."i never liked you"....)but we all know that part.is it possible that when in that state we are more aligned to our primal self,or our core being? how many times have we all heard "it wassnt me talking,it was the alcohol"..yeah sonny jim,but it used YOUR mouth to say it.
i would like to explain "proud" pothead.i come from eastern canada where at very least 60% of the population smoke pot (even old folks can roll up when you least expect it,i've had my head spun round a few times in absolute shock),but 6 years ago i moved to england,where theres just as many users,but they hide like skittish kids so "mommy" doesnt know they get high.this makes me sick to my guts,as people like this are the exact reason good people are handcuffed and written up as "narcotics addicts",thier lives blackmarked forever.these people think we have no power to change laws or make a difference in our world,where i KNOW if we all stod together for one damn day,marched right up to buckingham palace,hand in hand and side by side and looked our cabbage patch prime minister in the eyes and DEMANDED the laws be reformed,we could enjoy this one small aspect of our lives free of fear of criminal charges.somewhere since abbie hoffman died,evrybody lost thier spine.i guess i still believe the power lies within a nations people to change laws,stop wars,and make life better.as a side note,here in england,its perfectly acceptable to sort a line of blow at a party off a plastic table in your front garden,but roll a spliff and god help ya son lol...the gasps and shudders abound.somehowthis seems a bit back asswards to me,and lemme tell you,its no fun walking my kid to school and seeing mums grinding thier teeth at 8 am,cokeboogers still dangling from thier nose.i dont understand these strange people lol
i guess overall,if it works for you,wonderful,if it doesnt,dont do it.i find it easier to relax and get my head free of outside distraction when i'm conversing with the spirits,so i use it and have good effects.i dont doubt though it could be just as easily a hindrance for others.

i aint about to claim to be any kind of expert here,but,i'ld like to share a little tale with you folks and see what you think.

many years ago,during what i like to call "my wasted hardcore punk years",i picked up a copy of the necronomicon for a dollar at some quite lame new age wannabe shop,mainly to mock it,as then i had no belief whatsoever in magick as anything other than some peoples way of bettering themselves through ritual-esque self discipline,and that th possibility of there being "spirits" was just insane.i took it home and forgot about it for at least a week,untill one very drunken night my good friend found it and brought it out.
the first thing we noticed was "the mad arab",which sent us into laughing fits,as my friend was turkish,we immediately dubbed him "the mad turk...kareem shakeyerbooty".many more drinks and joints were enjoyed,and late into the night,we were all palefaced with bacchian joy.
my turkish friend,in this hammered state,picked up the necronomicon,and began reciting from it,dancing very drunk around our coffee table,the rest of us joining in behind him,as he lead the way,enjoying his role as "the mad turk".he must have read at least half the damned book before our stamina gave way to the alcohol,and everyone crashed in my living room untill 7 am the next day,when somehow we all managed to get up in time for work/responsibilities.
i personally had one of the worst days of my life.at every turn things just went WRONG.first,my electric broke down in the apartment,and i couldnt get the landlord to even LOOK at my fuse box which was locked.my then girlfriend called me to tell me she'ld cheated on me with (in my opinion) a far less handsome man than i,and in my typical male-ness i punched the wall and seperated my thumb from my hand about 2 inches backward,which put me out of work for three weeks,as i earned my living as a bass player at the time.
"the mad turk",who worked on a road crew,fell off the back of a truck doing 60 mph,taking most of the skin off his back and buttocks,and on route to hospital,fell over and sprained his shoulder.
another friend who had been with us crashed his car (anyone remember the dodge k-car?...yep..that long ago) into the steel railing on the trans-canada highway...and i quote him.."it was like something just grabbed the f-ing wheel outta my hands dude...i couldnt even see for a moment then bang"
yet another friend who was there started to change personality,becomming an absolute facist dictator to everyone,being violent to his girlfriend,and eventually becomming so horrible to everyone we had no choice but to turn our backs on him after years of friendship.
the bd luck continued for some weeks after,with "the mad turk" getting the worst end of things each time.a short list includes cutting the tip of his finger off at work,having someone sideswipe his brand new half ton and destroy it,burning his goatee half off when a lighter suddenly flared up,and then getting arrested for drunken conduct while being completely sober.
i took that book and tossed it into the atlantic ocean just off the angus l macdonald bridge in halifax,filled with spite and fear.
now,it could be that we just all had bad luck.i'm willing to accept that.but i cant help feeling we made something or someone very very annoyed.
let me know what you folks think,because i could very well indeed just have gotten the shivvers from having a bad week (or six)

could you tell me more about the drug-demon connection please? i'm very interested in demons,which i think may (like many other things and people) have been given more of a vile reputation than maybe deserved,although i aint dumb enough to think theyre all smiling shiny happy creatures either.

ive seen a few posts on this site where people talk about using "cannabis" (i personally hate that word,nobody calls the dealer and asks for cannibas...they ask for weed,and back home,pot...somehow as adults we sometimes tend to try and make things more intellectual lol),and as an avid and PROUD dopesmoker for half of my life,i can personally lay to rest all the lies and stretched truths that so called medical professionals tell to discourage its use.nobody gets mental disorders from smoking weed,they were already damned nuts to begin with.having spent 10 years hunkered over a blowtorch doing "hot knives",by now surely i'ld be pretty insane wouldnt i?..or would the people i grew up with who were next in line for a hoot?

i also had some wonderful lsd experiences,and i believe theres no such thing as a "bummer" or "bad trip".these were things meant to be felt and seen,and one must always remember hunter thompsons sacred psalm..."buy the ticket...take the trip"

i personally have had great experiences (spiritual experiences i should say) on many diferent drugs,some legal,some illegal,i dont reccomend drug use for everyone by any means,but for some of us it definately is a great tool in box to use when needed,or when one simply wants to enjoy.

my mother had a great quote "alcohol doesnt make a person do anything they wouldnt normally do sober,it brings out the tue person inside you",and i've learned over the years how true this is.

having said that,there are certain drugs i dont use,or wouldnt use,such as heroin,cocaine (though i have usd it in my youth,and wasnt impressed if i'm honest) or crack,which i feel is pure evil of the truest kind.

and,should anyone want to know about any drug they may not have tried,feel free to ask me,and i wont suger coat the response.along with the aforementioned weed,mushrooms and lsd,i've also done various forms of low grade methamphetamine,nitrous oxide(lets just say it...laughing gas...aptly named) and though i'm not proud of it,growing up in eastern canada also means i huffed my share of inhalants,which i strongly discourage for anyone,although ether if i'm honest was some of the best fun i've ever had,though i wouldnt do it now.

my overall advice to any new user is always "be smart,eat first,be well rested,and if your first time,find a reliable "babysitter",and be somewhere free from inteference".

i'll close this post by saying that had i never done lsd,i may never have figured out why i was such an angry person in my youth,i may never have began to question christianity,and worst of all,i never would have found the ability to distance myself from a situation that needs contemplation.
i only hope anyone else using drugs as a spiritual device has such wonderful experiences as i have,and may the spirits smile upon you all the while.

believe it or not,i actually agree with you poet. i dispise this modern world of corperate vampirism,and if i were younger and without children,quite probably i would be attacking bnp rallies and burning down starbucks outlets.in fact....every time a starbucks or walmart/asda's opens..my heart bleeds for the people that just ended up unemployed and probably foolish enough to have the damned coffee and then shop inside the worlds biggest ripoff chain.we are all indeed slaves...and freedom is the myth they keep us trapped by.i dont want to start arguements,but nothing saddens me more than a proud mother of a soldier.it actually makes my stomach churn.

but there is magick at work to ensave us all,and the horrible bastards in charge are damned fine magicians.i have no shame in petitioning the spirits for money,as its sadly such a major part of everyones life.

though when i hear someone like jorden maxwell speak endlessly about how the politicians gain power from havng power,it makes sense to me that acting that role might have magnificant magickal rewards.the few rituals i've done my best to perform in bdsm style do seem to yeild quite heavy activity,though,i do admit..part of me just wanted at first to know for sure there ARE higher spirits than us humans.and now that i know for sure,i feel much better within myself,i searched christianity for this kind of personal contact for years,but jesus must have been busy when i prayed.lucifer however,always accepts my collect calls,and many others seem to at least nod in my direction,its a beautifull feeling.

i wonder,if all of us who feel mainly the same way about being trampled under corperate feet and crucified by the vatican,if we all stood together and made our petitions to the higher spirits,if the possibility to change things for the better would appear.i cant go out in punk rock style setting fires to political billboads anymore,but honestly,ive mulled over trying a little spell to hush david camerons communist agenda,though i havnt nearly the experience for that.nice fantasy though lol

i do also wonder if my aforementioned "image of the black man as slave" IS being used as a sigil,it definately blinds us to our own suffering in the here and now,what other draw might it have....its an image burned into many hearts and minds so it would hold great power.

what i'ld give to walk in the actual land where "voodoo" is a living breathing practise!..as i said before,where i'm a beginner i seem to take the longest road to the easiest point every time i try to look further into the matter,so i've been more or less following dr.hyatts books and what papa legba seems to tell me himself.

i get the impression,though i may be very wrong,that the legba i know is a part of a large family of spirits,i suppose each one has thier own crossroad to guard,i also believe that he's trying to push me toward santeria-style practice,but i havnt found the way yet to explain to him 1) i'm a white boy trying to get my head around some very new subjects and 2)i dont know the first damn thing about santeria.the "devil" connection though speaks volumes to me personally,because legba to me seems very much a lucifer-esque charactor.boldly talented,artistic,knowledgable,and maybe a bit of a rabble rouser when pushed into service.

i've had several experiences with him as a guide,but,sometimes the old boy isnt in a taking mood lol.

now shango is another spirit that seemed to come after papa legba first made contact,and he usually only appears when my pixie is baking or cooking a meal,so she had the brilliance to make a plate for him in the arly stages of our research and the result afterward was a feeling of calm contentment which ran through our home for weeks afterward.

thus far,i havnt really asked these spirits for anything,though i make small offerings out of respect and gratitude for the contact they make.but we made a small mistake of leaving chocolate as an offering in our hallway(which is a weird spot,it opens into two distinct crossroad pathways to get into rooms...so theres always 4 directions you can turn)....i think the chocolate made something VERY hyper,as lights would turn off and on,books fell from shelves,and at one point the bulb in the hallway itself exploded glass into my face with such force i almost fell,but wasnt cut,scratched or harmed in any way...could that be the trickster comming out of the papa legba spirit?

actually,i'm dead curious to see what others know about voodoo (i call it voodoo because i'm still in the early stages of learning)..to explain things properly,i'ld always been completely in love with the concept of voodoo since seeing the serpent and the rainbow as a kid..(way too young actually....like....growing up i tried to find more out about it,but the only books i could find were fiction,so as the years went on i guess i forgot all about it untill two years ago.

         at this point life was a bit much to handle if i'm honest,the same old boring story about need money everyone at some point has.i also had experienced some personal events that needed time to settle in my head,and above all else...had decided months before that god,was in fact....a right horribly cruel bastard overall.i mean,i spent half my life praying in the name of jesus,and got buggerthebugger all in return but feeling like crap.it was high time for a beer and re-assesment,if anyone can relate.

  with no money i wandered in a charity shop to kill time and spotted the book that in all honesty,changed my life. "urban voodoo" by the man himself...dr.christopher s hyatt with jason s.black.i spent the milk money on it and headed home,where in the next two days i read every word,and started from scratch again.

    actually,i spent the rest of the summer reading it over and over,page for page.things that stood out were making so much sense it almost was like i'ld already known it.

....also,as a sidenote,ive always been into the history of rock n roll,and had been listening to robert johnson quite a lot,leadbelly,nick drake.....i noticed they all used these references to black dogs(then i remembered zeppelin....)...the constant thought of being hounded......i went to th door...said hello satan.....its time to go...

now heres where it really gets a bit lame sounding.anyone here seen the film crossroads?....where steve vai and the katatekid cut heads betting soul for soul?....it happened to be on one late night when my pixie had fallen asleep in her chair.....the name legba circled my head for days.....i refered to my book,which spoke of an experience where "eshu" contacted dr.hyatt...

folks....i let an embarrasing brown spot in the arse of my jeans......spiritually.....
i had to know if i could really be feeling like something anted to make contact,but with no real clue except dr.hyatts good word,i drew a crude rendering of papa legba's veve.....stood it in my kitchen.....smoked a big fat joint and stared at it for at least 20 minutes.

i dont expect anyone to believe what i'm saying,but after while,i could clearly see the veve become a shadowy moving figure of a man walking from a great distance toward me.as he got closer,i could make out the details of his very finely cut hat,a simple black walking stick.....a string tie.......what held me from screaming in absolute terror was the fact that this approaching figure never once lost his charming toothy smile..and the overall feel of the room was almost like being at a really great party with old friends....where youre more comfortable than drunk....during this entire meeting...the only clear message i got was "black coffee...."

the next night i made a cup of black coffee and sat it in frnt of the veve,left the room for a few moments,and upon return,saw the coffee had gone down in the mug a considerable amount.

i'm running short of time,but that incident happened about 2 years ago,since then ive been studying dr.hyaatts "pacts with thedevil"...along with things ive found online.as yet,ive still not found any other source for voodoo.

i still speak with the spirit i call papa legba very frequently.although the bond hasnt gotten loads stronger,i've always felt we're connected very well dispite that.

let me know what you think,and i again state.i dont expect anyone to believe my take on these things,and outside opinions are exactly what i hope for so i can learn as much as possible.