@Solitarius said
"93
Having done my share of military service I feel I understand your situation a little, I found that I really shut down on all levels during my time in the Gulf, although I began to have some success in Lucid dreaming at that time, one thing I did not feel was any kind of sympathy, not for myself, or for my fellow man."
Actually, I dont really know how much of the lucid dreams are attributed to the Malaria pills specifically. They seem to be more drug induced than anything.
Those are probably the most motivational and confident words that I have heard for a long time. Thank you. I will most definately try it. I am glad that I joined on the basis that there are so many willing to help me in my hardship. I would definately return the favor if faced with it in the future.
Ash,
Another question rises from that,(edit or rather statement) I am currently detached from many means in which I can feel love and sympathy. I am deployed to Afghanistan, and at times, cannot find in the depths of myself anything that resembles feelings other than discontent with this situation and the feeling of detachment being the root of those feelings. It is hard to feel love when mine is so far away, and it is hard to feel sympathy when I have been taught against it. Which that is the root of the problem, if I understand you correctly.
Is there anything that I may do or specifically concentrate on that could bring about these feelings? I know all this seems complicated, which is the only reason I wouldn't be able to figure it out on my own.
I realize that I am humbled from this experience knowing that, before this, I was quite sure that I was on a streak of moving forward and needed no guidance to accomplish what I will. I now know that I am only hitting the first road-block of many to come.
I am beginning to realize this now, I thank you for your insight. I will have to write things down as I get through this, and maybe offer even more answers for questions that I or anyone else has in the future. It seems like I have a long road ahead of me though, and it amost seems hopeless. I am glad that someone on this forum can give me something optimistic to look forward to. I tried meditating last night, maybe to get more answers within myself, but it seems that you are right in the fact that my mind is retaliating, and my body seems to agree with it.
I have had an issue plaguing me for the past couple of weeks now. A little background on the situation:
I do not have a perfected practice yet, but I thought that I had at least enough control to handle that which I delve in. One of the first things I have learned is isolation, astral projection, and aura strengthening/cleansing. As of recently, I have lost control of both my ability to project, and my aura. I know it is something that could be fixed by normal means, but it is too unreal to me to understand. It is not that I cant project, it is that I have trouble not projecting, and it happens every time I meditate. I find it hard to snap back at times, which also leaves me to my second and most important issue. I once learned from a Hindu family how to use my aura to heal, which needs an immense amount of concentration and control. My aura as of recently seems like it has a mind of its own and grows and recedes on its own accord. I have been told by a friend that I usually consult for advice that it doesn’t even seem like my own. It all seems like my younger self, uncontrollable and full of rage, doing its own bidding without consult to that which it resides with.
Does anyone have a take on this? Or something that I may do to overcome this?
Thank you both for your warm welcomes.
kuniggety, I pretty much cover the entire communications field as far as expertise. I work a lot with satellite communications equipment outside the fob, and when I am in I teach Marines and civilians how to run servers and networking equipment.
Hello everyone.
I am not familiar with this community or really anyone who is well versed in subjects therein, exept for my wife of course. I am, however, well versed in the bulk of Aleister Crowley's works and have been doing "independent-practice" since I was about 14, which has not proven to be as fruitful without a guide. I am no means an expert on anything in the sense of magick, but I do want to learn and eventually join the A.'.A.'. or at the very least study under the College of Thelema.
I am 22, live in California with my wife and stepdaughter, and work for the Marines. I am currently in Afghanistan, so I am limited to internet conversation and my vast collection of books that I have accrued over the years.
I believe that this is what I have been searching for, and I hope that contacts and knowlege are to come from this.