OneOneEleven
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My name is Max Russell Miller, born 7/11/94 at 2:07 A.M. Lat. 42.38, Long. 83.17. Sun and Mercury: Cancer, Moon and Venus: Leo, Ascendant: Taurus, Mars: Gemini, Jupiter and Pluto: Scorpio, Saturn: Pisces, Uranus and Neptune: Capricorn. Accordingly, my number is 11, as reflected in many aspects. When considering if I should reveal this information on such an open and unpredictable medium, I decided it was more necessary than it was dangerous. Either way, the only true danger is ignorance. I discovered Thelema only last December, but since then, the Spiral has taken me far, by no Will of my own. Or so it would seem to me. I first found out about it through Danny Carey, the drummer of the band Tool. On Danny's website, I found numerous references to the occult world and specifically Crowley, as he is an avid collector of Crowley's earlier editions. Since Tool is my favorite band and Danny my favorite drummer, I was especially drawn to it's mystery, which I resolved to uncover. As any American teen does with curiosity, I started with Google. I glanced at some brief biographies and learned a little about him. Very little. Bias tends to be terribly biased. After reading a liber or two, I decided he was an interesting character, but I let him sink to the back of my mind for a time. But while at Boarder's with a good friend searching for a Christmas gift for his brother, I came across a small red book with "The Book of the Law" in gold lettering. As the price tag was only $7.99, which was all I had on me, it would seem like bad graces to leave it there and forsake such fortune. So I got it. I read it. The language was beautiful and pure, each voice so distinct and noble. Though it only seemed a piece of mere cryptic, mythology-inspired poetry, which I was quite receptive to since I had been in love with Greek and Egyptian lore since my early childhood. It's true meaning, however, had not yet reached me. What did catch my attention was the presence of certain sychronicities with my life, the most reaching of them excited my overly-romantic mind: the numbers of Nuit and Hadit were the same as mine and my Scarlet Woman. Aside from that, again, it sank away from my thoughts(other than the occasional digital delve for knowledge). But during a shamanic experience weeks later, I reached a realization of a Divine Trinity(it made sense to me that three would be the basis of human consciousness. We percieve in 3D, all classic theologies have included a holy trinity, the triangle is the most stable geometric shape[I am a firm believer in fractals]) that brought my entire universe into view. Though the realization wasn't truly formed until the day after when I was explaining it on paper to my friend. I will attempt to attach a scan of that paper. I was completely convinced that "my" Trinity explained the Universe. It stated that the root forces of all existance are Chaos, Order, and Perception, and that human consciousness has been moving through these forces respectively as a collective consciousness in the form of Aeons. Chaos was marked by chaotic theologies popping up all over Earth since humanity was hardly connected at the time and each civilization was left alone to form its own view without real contest, but these disconnected people developed strikingly similar systems(all included the Three). Order by the crucifiction of Christ which dissolved paganism and brought HC(human consciouness) into one boat, that was surely sinking. We were now connected, as technology and expansion had allowed. Perception was Crowley's Aeon of Horus that was based on the personal experience of the child as allowed to bloom from the Order of the dreadfully dry Christian world. In all of this, I never once realized that ALL of this information was in The Law and that this was the motion it started in my subconscious upon reading it finally coming to personal light. I had convinced myself that I was to be the prophet of the fourth Aeon, which I decided was to be that of Thoth, absolute Truth, which is the true potential of unwasted Perception. I resolved that the triangle represents itself in any and every concievable situation, which I proved to my friends by showing them where the three of us landed on the triangle(as by our personalities and roles in our relationships) and showing a picture that was taken a while ago that had us positioned in a triangle exactly where our places were. I could write a whole other piece just on how many things were brought to light by this all, but the point would still be that I honestly feel, without pride(if you'll believe me), that I am connected to Crowley and Thelema with some cosmic purpose that I am slowly becoming aware of. If you read this and something seems unclear or just plain ridiculous, then please ask about it, as I am sure my mediocre writing was not fully effective in expressing the magnitude of the intensity of my situation and sincerity.
Yours truly, Max.
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Welcome to the forum! I have several comments on your interesting story:
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Try breaking up your writing into paragraphs, because looking at and reading one huge block of text is very daunting and tiring for the mind.
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This quote:
@OneOneEleven said
"I had convinced myself that I was to be the prophet of the fourth Aeon, which I decided was to be that of Thoth, absolute Truth, which is the true potential of unwasted Perception."
Be very wary of perceptions like this - the subconscious and less exalted forces tend to try to flatter the ego with all sorts of things like this. Many Thelemites quickly "discover" that they are the reincarnation of Aleister Crowley. Before we've done much personal work and gained a degree of self-understanding and humility, the subconscious often has a lot of power over us in subtle ways.
- This quote:
@OneOneEleven said
"Though the realization wasn't truly formed until the day after when I was explaining it on paper to my friend. I will attempt to attach a scan of that paper. I was completely convinced that "my" Trinity explained the Universe. It stated that the root forces of all existance are Chaos, Order, and Perception [...] I resolved that the triangle represents itself in any and every concievable situation, which I proved to my friends by showing them where the three of us landed on the triangle(as by our personalities and roles in our relationships) and showing a picture that was taken a while ago that had us positioned in a triangle exactly where our places were."
Interesting view on what reminds me of the Supernal Triad. (Not sure if you're familiar with the Qabalah.) One thing to remember, though, is that any three points will form a triangle, even if the sides are overlapping (i.e. all three points are in a line). Unless you meant that your friends formed an equilateral triangle... which, however, depends heavily on the point of view that the picture was taken from.
I'm not sure if you're familiar with the idea of a configuration space, but it goes like this: you can assign any spectrum to a dimension, such as, say, distance from a certain point (this forms coordinate axes). You can keep adding perpendicular dimensions with associated spectrums ad nauseum, and by selecting a single point in that X dimensional theoretical space, you get an associated geometrical figure of X dimensions whose shape is determined by where you placed that point.
Conclusion: it does seem to me like something very real occurred within you, but be very, very careful of taking every perception related to it as being accurate, especially at such an early stage of the Path. Illusions/delusions of grandeur are extremely common and get more and more detrimental the longer they are held onto and the more deeply they are believed.
FWIW I don't believe that we'll see a prophet of the next Aeon until this Aeon has worked itself out, which will surely take at least several hundred years. Also, Ma'at is scheduled to be the next Hierophant, succeeding Horus.
93, 93/93.
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Thank you for taking the time to read this, I truly do appreciate it. Input from someone with experience with this kind of thing was exactly my motivation for writing it. I do apologize for the format, once I got into the writing I began falling forward and forgetting form. Also, I had meant intially to explain more about the state I am in now, after all of this occured, but I figured that would come out if I ended up with the opportunity to talk about it.
By now, I've reached a sort of equilibrium with the information recieved, as due to it's sheer wieght, it threw me off balance enough to draw such egoic and brash conclusions. And the specific compound in my system is notorious for causing over-exaggeration of otherwise sober phenomena. I know I am no prophet, and I have spent the meantime reading more of Crowley's work to get a clearer picture on Thelema and it's practice(I finished "Book 4" in its entirety just today, actually).
I have not yet begun the true Work, though, for a number of excuses. Those being the facts that I'm 16, in my parents' house, and lacking my own true means to begin at least proper ritual. And I'm simply not fully at ease under their roof. I am fortunate enough to have an O.T.O oasis nearby, but even with that, I can only attend open mass, as I am too young for initiation. It's a sort of adolescent purgatory before the heaven of sincere labor. Unless there is some secret way for me to get passed this all that I am not aware of.
You seem very well-grounded, Ash. I appreciate your methodical communication, there are not enough with such sharpness. Configuration space is the basis of my inital "theory", as I saw the singularity dispersing at the big bang as the space, and Chaos, Order, and Perceptions as the points that naturally established. Those three points, as any, formed and equilateral triangle, which I felt was the geometric representation for the Natural Process.
But again, thank you and thank you. I am very eager to tap the knowledge of these currents you are now representing to me, at least at the moment. -
Also, Maat still represents Truth, right? My Egyptian has fallen behind my Greek. I just don't naturally believe in these things being actual Gods, but Pure Ideas, and that spirituality is just a means of understanding these large concepts before they can be objectively proven by science.