Questions about the "John St. John" retirement.
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He meant that he was sodomized. (His reference to Z.A.M. instructons and Saturn in Libra means he is reference the 3 of Swords.) At this point in time, Crowley was very emotionally conflicted over his bisexuality (something he didn't overcome until late 1909).
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@RifRaf said
"In the "John St. John" diaries Crowley states that, on the sixth day, he performed "Evil Magic" and that it pertained to Saturn in Libra. What would make a ritual evil if he is performing the ritual for the purpose to help him in his pursuit to "unite" with Adonai? Upon contemplation of the card, the Three of Swords, I came to the idea it may have dealt with "The Trance of Sorrow". If this is the case why would it would be "evil"? Possibly because Crowley is working in one of the lower worlds, Yetzirah I assume? As he states, it would be right enough on "its own plane".
Here is the section I am talking about:
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I began to try a certain ritual of the Evil Magic, so called. ...
Not evil in truth, because only that is evil (in one sense) which does not lead to Adonai. (In another sense, all is evil which is not Adonai.) And of course I had the insane idea that this ritual would serve to stimulate my devotion. For the information of the Z.A.M., I may explain that this ritual pertained to Saturn in Libra"Lastly, at one time (same day, different event) he records:
"It would be easy enough to form a magical Image of Adonai: and He would doubtless inform it. But it would only be an Image."
Is he talking about forming an image of "Adonai" in the same manner as he did while practicing Dharana by imagining Eckenstein?"
Evil can mean Averse just as an upside down pentagram is Averse (even though it means Spirit-descending-into-Matter)
I believe he means form a magical Image in the sense of formulating Adonai as a symbol or word (ADNI, for example...) but you must go beyond all images (Liber LXV I). You have to unite with the BLind Creature of Slime along with the Glittering Image for the Union to be Complete.
IAO131
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Lastly, at one time (same day, different event) he records:
"It would be easy enough to form a magical Image of Adonai: and He would doubtless inform it. But it would only be an Image."
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Is he talking about forming an image of "Adonai" in the same manner as he did while practicing Dharana by imagining Eckenstein?"Look for Telesmatic images.
Often in western systems, a great deal of emphasis is placed on mystically interpreting and even receiving unique keywords; magical words or phrases, sometimes names. Using telesmatic images is a common practice used to transform random letter strings / names into anthropomorphic beings, for use in devotional visualization similar in concept to personalized Tibetan Yiddams.