What meaneth this, o prophet? AHA!
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@Aegis said
"The easiest thing to say is that I have experiences in which I must consciously, functionally manage true paranoia - that which comes "alongside knowing," that it is a false experience, and that the only thing to do is to continue to manage the experience. "
paranoia is just projecting our own false ideas onto the mystery. The distinctions between True, False, and Mystery are very clear and objective. They can also be understood as Objective Truths, False Truths, and Mysterious Truths. When you encounter a paranoid idea, deconstruct it into your inner truth values - combine rational thinking and passionate intuition.
From my POV, higher intelligence can only operate 'win win' - so when you encounter paranoia, try to balance it out with pro-noia - and try to find the evidence of the hidden school plotting to make you win around every corner. Bring all ideas into a harmonious dialectic within themselves and appreciate the union of the two of them.
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But... there are those methods one develops for oneself to discern and confirm the truth of one's experience when no one else can confirm or deny it, and these methods... "methods.." lol... these methods confirm my experiences with later events. For instance, I understand now that I could have told you about two days in advance that Perry was preparing to run for office. "
okay, yeah i got that sort of stuff too - just let it be. sometimes you will be given the T, sometimes the F, and sometimes the M. it's up to the aspirant to determine which one he is working with.
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I don't know how to say it, but in the area that you seem to be describing as Mystery, I experience "the game." It's the outworking of present problems in "history," in Assiah - at least in my mind, but that goes back to the argument itself. "
hmmm, not sure what you mean exactly, but I do see that the 'game' between True, False and Mystery has shaped the historical dialectic which has guided humanity to our current phase.
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Here's my problem, I think: I can fully invest both in an interpretation which regards the experiences as perfectly real as well as in an interpretation that regards my experiences as totally false - simultaneously -well, not entirely... it depends.... It's more like still trying to find out, but each perspective, in turn, seems to carry the full weight of its conviction. It's as if at least something, everyday, causes me to take one position and have that confirmed to me, and then the rest of the day is devoted to making me switch back to the other interpretation. "
It's as if Life itself does not wish for me to settle on one alone, but the combination of the two seems mutually exclusive. "
keep combining! two make three and then all dissolve. integrating the opposites, colliding them together in dialectic or fusing them together in love is that not the great work?
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I have become the Incredible Hulk... A spiritually gifted manic with occassional paranoid symptoms...? A judge like in the Hebrew stories? Still in the Abyss? What?
I want the scene at the end of the movie where Edward Norton is meditating calmly, and then he suddenly smiles as his eyes flash open, glowing green."
your just thinking about it too much. dont forget to FEEL it and Think about it. Only those two perfectly married will carry you across. you just have to lose all your false ideas believed to be true, all your true ideas believed to be mystery, and all your mysterious ideas believed to be otherwise.
personally i always like the Silver Surfer
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@Aegis said
"Thanks for you comments.
It's the idea that I should be kept in the dark and continue in the dark that I constantly resist. No old Aeon formula for me. Thanks. If so, I would be happy in my sufferings. As it is, that's some bullshit."
what do you mean 'in the dark'? the nature of the self, some part of it will always be in the dark to ourselves and others.
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I meant in the experiences.
For example, last time, some assured others that I was "comatose" (not able to comprehend what was going on), yet one was speaking on behalf of petroleum and it's "language." I think this is enabled because of some past "agreement" or something similar that I was coerced into during a more hellish experience. At times, some express surprise that I can hear them "talking."
I no longer want to keep this agreement, nor my silence about it. If you're only as sick as your secrets, there's a big one.
I am awake. I can hear them. And most times I can make out what they're talking about.
Their whole world is money, and my services are stolen from me without compensation. If I were using an Old Aeon formula, I would simply suffer in silence. As it is, I hold them to their own passion, money, and that for which they use me, my judgment.
And I say, "You haven't kept your end of the deal, and by the rules of your own money game, you owe me. Your services are cut off, and all impartial judgments are suspended until you follow your own rules and payment is made."
But that's *just *crazy talk...
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@ldfriend56 said
"a one Robert Allen came at me in another thread, claiming as his inspiration a 'feisty mood'. He's fun. I'm hoping Jim will engage a bit."
That would be a serious waste of my time.
Av more or less gave the answer I would have given. (More or less.)
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Me: I love you.
It: I'm fine. I hate you. I love you. I want ice cream. Come here. Go away. Oranges?
Me: I'm fine. I hate you. I love you. I want ice cream. Come here. Go away. Oranges?
It: Boohoo. You hate me.
Experiment: Successful.
Outcome: Hated. -
@Aegis said
"Me: I love you.
It: I'm fine. I hate you. I love you. I want ice cream. Come here. Go away. Oranges?
Me: I'm fine. I hate you. I love you. I want ice cream. Come here. Go away. Oranges?
It: Boohoo. You hate me.
Experiment: Successful.
Outcome: Hated."dont be so attached to the outcome!
other than that, it's very hard for me to discern what your referring to because I cannot tell the context of your writing. not even sure I know what you mean by 'it'. I can only tell you what to look out for, i hope it helps. the ordeals can be very challenging. success is your proof.
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@Jim Eshelman said
"
@ldfriend56 said
"a one Robert Allen came at me in another thread, claiming as his inspiration a 'feisty mood'. He's fun. I'm hoping Jim will engage a bit."That would be a serious waste of my time.
Av more or less gave the answer I would have given. (More or less.)"
Nice for you to come by and I hope reading is not a waste of your good time!
thanks Jim! (old friend)
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Continuing on with myself...
If I've now broken whatever "deal" I had with myself that allowed me to provide a rational story for my experiences, I now have to re-question those experiences.
Seems like a transitory mental state - suprarational - in which I choose to see others around me as star beings. It follows (rationally - in error), that whatever they are discussing must be of grand importance (thought it's not). I cannot understand this supposed grand importance, so I project a rational, organizing story on their discussions that leaves me feeling left out, since I cannot both be in that suprarational state of mind AND expect a rational, Assiatic explanation of the experience. Something like that...
So, next time this occurs, I should instead... reject a rational explanation of the experience and simply attempt to enjoy the fact that I am surrounded by extraordinary (ordinary) beings without turning my need for a rational explanation into a storyline that involves me being left out of the grand conversation.
Sitting with the Buddhists is good for me. I still have to force myself to go. My mind wanders during the more dogmatic bits. But the talks are reminders that I need, and the sitting is good. I doubt I could sit still the whole time if there weren't others around me. Want to turn over a new leaf.
I didn't come all this way to stall out here. Let's get it done.
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@Aegis said
" I doubt I could sit still the whole time if there weren't others around me."
...and thus the great secret of the illuminati is revealed
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Thanks for coming around.
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Greater success under the new rules.