Hiya! I'm Steve from Ottawa
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A number of years ago, I was initiated into the Star of the North Temple in Toronto, ON. I was involved with the T.'.O.'.T.'. for over a decade, from Star of the North, through to Avalon Pronaos.
I started experiencing medical issues in 2001, and by 2005 I was unable to continue working. At around that time, I decided to leave the T.'.O.'.T.'. It was a decision that never really sat well with me.
What I didn't understand, and only became obvious later, was the fact that my mental capacity had been greatly diminished by sleep deprivation. I was suffering from Sleep Apnea, which has since been diagnosed and is now being treated.
I'm still not working, and am struggling with Anxiety Disorder and other side-affects of those years spent without proper sleep, but I am now involved in a number of different treatment programs and have started the recovery process.
One of my biggest issues is that I have become disconnected from the world. Since this is really my truest interest and most important belief-systems, I would like to find friends here and start chatting with people here.
I want to try to reconnect with people in the T.'.O.'.T.'. and see what I can do to try and start my training over again. Since I formally resigned, I would have to start from scratch - but since its been so long, that's really for the best.
For now, I just want to connect with people here and chat.
Thanks for reading and hopefully I'll be talking with you soon!
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Steve, it's good to hear from you! Been a long time, bro.
@dsteve3 said
"A number of years ago, I was initiated into the Star of the North Temple in Toronto, ON. I was involved with the T.'.O.'.T.'. for over a decade, from Star of the North, through to Avalon Pronaos."
Avalon Pronaos is now Hathor Pronaos. (Toronto has been known for various phoenix-like re-emerges of Thelemic groups for decades - I've long half-joked that if Phoenix Lodge of O.T.O,. hadn't been anchored there, I'd have given the name to the Toronto T.'.O.'.T.'. group. It's definitely the long-term energy on that shore of the lake.)
"I started experiencing medical issues in 2001, and by 2005 I was unable to continue working. At around that time, I decided to leave the T.'.O.'.T.'. It was a decision that never really sat well with me.
What I didn't understand, and only became obvious later, was the fact that my mental capacity had been greatly diminished by sleep deprivation. I was suffering from Sleep Apnea, which has since been diagnosed and is now being treated."
I'm not sure I ever knew the cause of your decision. Glad to hear you're on the mend.
(I'm choosing not to totally have our "reunion" in public, on this thread, so I'm hitting the highlights only. I read the rest of your description and update - I'm smiling at the courage of your recovery and perseverance.)
"One of my biggest issues is that I have become disconnected from the world. Since this is really my truest interest and most important belief-systems, I would like to find friends here and start chatting with people here."
And you're most welcome. Dive in. I've tried to create a hospitable and engaging environment here, so sit down, have a cup of something (decaf, I imagine <g>), and engage!
"I want to try to reconnect with people in the T.'.O.'.T.'. and see what I can do to try and start my training over again. Since I formally resigned, I would have to start from scratch - but since its been so long, that's really for the best."
While that conversation is best saved for private, you give me the chance to make a couple of points suitable for public mention.
First, to contact the current leadership of Hathor Pronaos in Toronto, use the email information here: helema.org/temple_of_thelema/locations.html
Second, if there were a time to start a cycle of Temple of Thelema initiation, it's right about now. There is a new era of the Aeon of Horus commencing at the vernal equinox 2014 (too long a story for this thread) that will mark a time of deeper teaching, and I've been reformulating our initiation rituals - the biggest reframing since we first started in 1989. The new generation of rituals go into use in two months (at the upcoming Equinox), to give us a couple of years of shake-down before the new current officially hits - and, frankly, they kick ass like nothing we've done before. I think, Steve, that you're picking up on this "just like starting over" energy in your area, in the Order, and in the flow of the Aeon as a whole, and (I speculate) it's touching a similar cord in you. (If you can't tell, I'm excited about all of this. It's been most of a year of intense work on this rewrite and moving the "train" of the Order onto this new branching track, and in the next week "the baby is due.")
Third, "you are what you are." There's no starting over. You "own" the foundation you've already built. But I totally get what you're saying. I'm being careful not to discuss your particular (private) process here but, speaking in generalizations, I can see a way of a "refresher" that would let one experience the rituals and layers of work from the first initiation on. (I'm probably getting inappropriately excited this morning at the idea or possibility that someone with your history in the Order - already grounded in the currents of several degrees - might he willing to pass through the new rituals. This would be a safe, stable way to introduce the new rituals, and provide us significant feedback we couldn't quite get any other way.)
"For now, I just want to connect with people here and chat.
Thanks for reading and hopefully I'll be talking with you soon!"
Again: Welcome, and join the fun!
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Thanks for the reply! Nice that you remember me after all these years.
I'm glad to hear that there is material that I can study - I look forward to seeing whatever you have created. Your work always has a profound affect!
Please feel free to message me if there is any information you need or any details you wish to convey. I have sent an email to Hathor Pronaos. I hope to hear from them soon.
Thanks again, and talk to you soon
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Hi Steve, good to hear from you, and welcome!
93 93/93
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93,
Greetings, O hermit of the frozen Outouais! Glad to see you're doing better these days.If you don't have my email any more, you can PM me here.
93 93/93,
Edward
