attempting to isolate my malfunction
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@Iaomai said
"I suppose this would fall in this category.
I am realizing, during my less emotionally labile and more rational moments, that the quality of my experiences is constantly being shaped by my own undirected emotions.
I think what I really need in order to balance myself out and begin shaping a better quality experience for myself is to consciously begin a daily bhakti practice within the Thelemic sphere and pantheon.
I don't know whether this practice should be directed at my Angel, or at Nuit. But I'm pretty sure that RHK and Hadit... well... I'm not very sure about anything about this... but it would seem confusing to aim my devotion at either of those latter two.
Would anyone be willing to offer some advice about the proper place to attempt to reconnect with my spiritual devotion?"
Are your daily practices of RESH not devotional enough? Is this because RESH is only an intellectual exercise? Do you perform a MASS of any sort on a weekly basis, like the Mass of the Phoenix or something similar? How about five times daily perform Liber Samekh? This are all devotionals. Memorize the entire Book of the Law and recite it repeatedly and with devotion. Imagine anything you will as an act of worship of your gods and do it.
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"Are your daily practices of RESH not devotional enough? Is this because RESH is only an intellectual exercise? Do you perform a MASS of any sort on a weekly basis, like the Mass of the Phoenix or something similar? How about five times daily perform Liber Samekh? This are all devotionals. Memorize the entire Book of the Law and recite it repeatedly and with devotion. Imagine anything you will as an act of worship of your gods and do it."
Hmm... I've worked on Resh some, but... resistance. I guess that's where I'm at. I've been giving in to the resistance instead of perservering. I guess it's time.
But I mean.... hmm... Perhaps that's where the resistance is. It does seem more like an intellectual exercise. I have a hard time relating to the gods of Resh as actual. They're more conceptual and psychological, not real presences. That's kind of a big step for me, I guess, to relate to them as actual instead of conceptual. Now that I think about it, that's kind of my whole problem with the entire Thelemic pantheon. They're all psychologized and intellectualized - more godforms than gods to be devoted to.
I mean, so you do recommend approaching these "godforms" as individual and actual gods? That may be a major step for me - stepping off once again into the suspension of disbelief. I've never performed the Mass or Samekh. Maybe it's time.
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Ra-Hoor-Khuit is the angel was all share.
"17. Fear not at all; fear neither men nor Fates, nor gods, nor anything. Money fear not, nor laughter of the folk folly, nor any other power in heaven or upon the earth or under the earth. Nu is your refuge as Hadit your light; and I am the strength, force, vigour, of your arms."
"... I am the visible object of worship"
"62. To Me do ye reverence! to me come ye through tribulation of ordeal, which is bliss."In essence, entering into devotion to RHK is the truest way of stepping away from your own emotions and into the big picture we're all in together. Your own angel still has emotional stock to you, but Horus is a fighter and bearer of the Holy Indifference, wherein you are shown what you really have that is solid and alive, that is part of something beyond yourself. If you need refuge from the ordeals, seek Nuit and have a sumptuous time. If you get lost, seek Hadit and behold the path, which is followed by ever-increasing the ecstasy in walking it. But in the end, Ra-Hoor-Khuit is the initiator, the cause, and the effect. I'm not sure what specific practices you could be doing, as I'm more of a shaman than a magician(I'm sure Jim would oblige), but my advice is to let the Hawk-headed lord do his work on you.
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@Iaomai said
"Perhaps that's where the resistance is. It does seem more like an intellectual exercise. I have a hard time relating to the gods of Resh as actual."
Not an intellectual exercise alone... but a technique. And I think you're overlooking the penultimate paragraph in Liber Resh. I will quote it without further comment:
"Also it is better if in these adorations thou assume the God-form of Whom thou adorest, as if thou didst unite with Him in the adoration of That which is beyond Him."
"They're more conceptual and psychological, not real presences."
That just means you haven't connected to them yet. So here's another technique: Don't require a priori conviction that something is real. Give the whole of your soul over to it in unquestioning devotion without it having to pass a "reality test."
(Notice that I said that this, too, is a technique. It doesn't assert anything per se.)
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""Also it is better if in these adorations thou assume the God-form of Whom thou adorest, as if thou didst unite with Him in the adoration of That which is beyond Him.""
Are there specific signs/godforms for the gods in Resh? The initial instruction is to use the sign of my grade... which is nothing. I have no grade.
So, could someone help me out with either the specific signs/godforms or with the proper sign to use for someone who has no grade?
Thanks.
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@Sardonyx said
"
""Also it is better if in these adorations thou assume the God-form of Whom thou adorest, as if thou didst unite with Him in the adoration of That which is beyond Him.""Are there specific signs/godforms for the gods in Resh? The initial instruction is to use the sign of my grade... which is nothing. I have no grade."
Crowley, in marginalia to his copy of The Equinox, provided for this situation. For dawn, use the signs of 5=6; for noon, 4=7; for sunset, 2=9; and for midnight, 3=8.
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@Sardonyx said
"Do you hold the grade sign during the whole adoration, or do you just do it at the beginning?"
"From "Hail unto thee" through "from the abodes of [whatever]." Not during the adoration following (which is done in the Sign of Osiris Risen, so called).