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Help This Lost Lost Soul

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Initiation
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    pixie_pseuicide
    replied to ss cassidy on last edited by
    #13

    Also ... if you're no good to yourself alone, you cant be any good to a group ... thelemic or otherwise hugs

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    sphinx666
    replied to ss cassidy on last edited by
    #14

    junebug-with the time that has passed since posting, I hope you have found some direction.
    Do you own a copy of the Book Of The Law?

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    pixie_pseuicide
    replied to ss cassidy on last edited by
    #15

    scribd is a WICKED site for finding (a somewhat glitchy) computer version of books including if not ALL crowelys, then definately most of his. go and see if its there

    of course nothing beats the feel of a good book in thier hands xxx

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    ss cassidy
    replied to ss cassidy on last edited by
    #16

    @sphinx666 said

    "junebug-with the time that has passed since posting, I hope you have found some direction.
    Do you own a copy of the Book Of The Law?"

    as everyone can tell i was in a very .. upset state..
    & no i haven't a copy of the book & really would enjoy one.

    to everyone else who wrote this post i can't thank you enough for your concern & input and i have been working towards "getting on my feet"
    & to JPF
    i was concerned i was not still welcome.. of course i know the cali living would be different terms then anything i'm used to anyways.. i was partially worried something had happened to you as i was foolish to not check my posts & activity on the forums & not just my messages...

    once again i can't thank you enough..

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    ss cassidy
    replied to ss cassidy on last edited by
    #17

    & on top of this i realize the faulty in a lot of my statements
    but we've all been hopeless at some point...
    i just didn't know what to do..
    but maybe instead now i can post all my poetry...
    for instance

    as stated i'm working at doing better but.. circumstances only seem to further the ease of things for me. but here's some more sad sounding stuff.

    my Heart is an Anchor
    it sinks to find Stability in
    the Deepest Unknown
    The Dark is a home
    for this Nothing Helpless Soul.
    He just fills your needed roles.
    left Bleeding through to try & rise
    but the Sunshine's got a different eye to Behold.
    So Leave me in the gentle Cold
    Just Run from my evil & leave to my ashes,
    it's all that remains from this used up.
    Bloody Fuck
    head struck
    broken heart strings
    Love Fiend

    Playing 2nd chair in the Symphony of your Soul
    is rotting my heart into a hole.
    All the hurt & anxiety i carry with me.
    Guilt, joy, frustration, delusion, confusion they all call my name.
    i play the Part to keep you sane but it's Leading me the other way.
    i feel like a distraction...
    Like i fill your time fine..
    Something Special Comes my only Sushine's Way & i'm told i must stay away.

    that obvious heart ache with a girl was not helping my feelings at the time
    but it's passed so i thought i could share & it'd help show you myself & where i'm at & i'm changing, growing, learning..

    93

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    ss cassidy
    replied to ss cassidy on last edited by
    #18

    @junebug said

    "
    Bloody {****}
    head struck
    broken heart strings
    Love Fiend"

    **** rhymes with duck.. 😉

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    Uni_Verse
    replied to ss cassidy on last edited by
    #19

    Everyone has an answer, but what is the question?

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    ss cassidy
    replied to ss cassidy on last edited by
    #20

    feeble cry for support from a confused outstretched hand that shan't waste the time of these fine people again as this fella knows there's no reason to fret or wallow around for no good reason

    i'll be making the move soon.

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    Edward Mason
    replied to ss cassidy on last edited by
    #21

    93,

    "i'll be making the move soon."

    If I thought all the false starts and apparently wasted time in my life were really false and wasted, I'd be looking at a half-truth. If I'd been wiser, I'd be further along. But the problem was, I had to learn practical wisdom - simple know-how about living, really - in order to get anywhere.

    One of the hardest things for me, after decades of digging around various spiritualities as well as sticking to applied practices for extended periods, is to remember always that I can't possess understanding, any more than I can possess Wednesday morning, or the rain that fell yesterday. I can only open to it.

    There are always threads on this forum about correctness: correct techniques, correct views of what Crowley taught, and so on. Monumental screw-ups, however are often where the deeper teaching is given and learned. And feeling lost isn't the bad thing, only failing to consider the total issue: what does it mean to be lost, what is actually achieved by feeling lost (such as holding yourself back for ages from facing ... X), and so on. What underlies the fear that holds you in lostness? That could be a riddle you'll spend decades resolving.

    So if you perform your move and happen to make a miss, do observe the miss and the circumstances around it. Seeking power over self can be a trap (beyond the discipline of regular routine - what AC calls "some rule of life") while having access to understanding of self is an interesting threshold on which to stand.

    93 93/93,

    Edward

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    ss cassidy
    replied to ss cassidy on last edited by
    #22

    It's been a long time since i posted this.
    & I realize that over one thousand people have now viewed it.
    I hope that anyone out there in fear of sounding like i did was able to at least read this & not need to say something because it helped.
    & I realize how many of you truly care & it's inspiring & warming.
    I've been making great strides & will continue to do so & will try my best to keep everyone updated with my goings ons as i think most of you would thoroughly enjoy what i'm doing musically & where its headed.
    Hosho
    sincerely,
    silas simone cassidy
    93

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    Uni_Verse
    replied to ss cassidy on last edited by
    #23

    Internet Hugs 😄

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