Dryness
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I've been practicing the LBRP and MP for a little more than 2 years now and I've noticed something that's a bit strange. I'm not sure if it's just a personal idiosyncrasy of mine or a common experience. So I thought I would ask.
Performing ritual usually has an energising and uplifting quality about it. It has a certain kick to it. But I have noticed periods of time (sometimes lasting for several months) where I feel as if the metaphorical rug has been pulled out from beneath my feet. During these "dry" times it feels like the energy that was previously generated by my practices has vanished into thin air. Try as hard as I may it feels like I am doing little more than going through the motions. The rituals feel empty and lifeless.
My only consolation is that, having experienced this dryness before, I'm fairly sure that it will end at some point and the rituals will spontaneously kick back into life just as suddenly as they died. But is there a reason that this sort of thing happens?
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The language your using to describe the state begs me to think of the Dark Night of the Soul, which is sort of the dark before the dawn. I recommend giving St. John of the Cross' The Dark Night of the Soul a read - maybe that will provide you with some insight into what you are experiencing.
www.karmel.at/ics/john/dn.html
616
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93,
I don't think it's a good idea to see periods of dryness as indicating the onset of major mystical states. That way, we end up mythologizing every personal upheaval as a transition into a new grade. Some of the "Masters" who show up online from time to time have probably done this: "I had a terrible year and one weekend I almost felt suicidal. I must have crossed the Abyss!"
The growth process is like anything else in life: messy. There are moments when the Light breaks through and we remember what our existence is all about. But most of the time we aren't either particularly uplifted or particularly downcast. Monday morning is still Monday morning for most occultists, even if we have somewhat different reference points to other people from which to address it.
That said, dryness can indicate a withdrawal of energy produced by the psyche trying to limit or offset the growth process. On an ego/Assiatic level, we don't actually want to grow much at all, and the disruption caused by mystical and magical exercises is unwelcome.
The only solution I've ever heard about is simply to plough on through. Other inner forces beyond the ego's Ingrid Bergman-esque cry: "I want to be alone!" come back into play at some point.
93 93/93,
EM
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93 Heru.
I have often found, in the 20+ years of practicing my daily rituals, that there does come a time when we all experience a kind of Blah, or emptiness of some sort. It is not so much that the 'Magick' is gone, or the essence, but simply that it is exactly what you have stated in your subject line. "Dryness".
There is nothing uncommon about this, and I feel it is quite normal.
Being that we are spiritual beings having a human experience, we still must experience everyday, mundane life, etc.As you have stated yourself, it is a period in which will come to pass.
I do suggest continuation. Sometimes even changing your routine will help.All of this is, of course, just my own personal experience. For those out there that have different experiences, I would be glad to hear of them.
93 93/93.'.
Shachdar
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@Her said
"Performing ritual usually has an energising and uplifting quality about it. It has a certain kick to it. But I have noticed periods of time (sometimes lasting for several months) where I feel as if the metaphorical rug has been pulled out from beneath my feet. During these "dry" times it feels like the energy that was previously generated by my practices has vanished into thin air. Try as hard as I may it feels like I am doing little more than going through the motions. The rituals feel empty and lifeless. "
When this hits, it's a mark that you've grown and that you need to persevere in the practice.
I know it's really tempting to measure success in these practices on whether you feel anything. However, that's not always a good gauge. We feel sensations from these things to the extent that we have resistance to them. The resistance is usually because we are too "small" (in our capacity, etc.) for the amount of energy coming through. To be a little crude (but trying to find something of universal experience), it's like having an unusually large defecation that's straining one's normal elasticity.
As we practice, we dilate before the Light. We increase our capacity, our elasticity, etc. There comes a time when the same volume of force moving through flows smoothly and without resistance - it doesn't stretch us as it did before. We're more capable.
Continue without interruption and, sooner or later (it varies with person and circumstance, but on average within a few weeks) something in you will start drawing a stronger current and you will again feel strained by the whole thing.
Meanwhile, enjoy the luxury of having that much flow through you without you even having a physical sensation of it.
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@Jim Eshelman said
"When this hits, it's a mark that you've grown and that you need to persevere in the practice.
I know it's really tempting to measure success in these practices on whether you feel anything. However, that's not always a good gauge. We feel sensations from these things to the extent that we have resistance to them."
Your comments have been incredibly helpful, Jim. It sounds so counter intuitive I doubt that I would have figured it out on my own. Looking back at my perceptions of my previous experiences it appears that I have had everything ass-backwards from the start. Typical!
The times when I thought I was making the most progress would actually be the times of greatest resistance. And the dry times were the moments of real success.It seems odd though because the periods of high resistance are accompanied by a sense of connection to "something" that feels good. Almost like being connected to a positive current of force. But when the practices suddenly go flat there is a very tangible sense of disconnection. But I guess my perception of what is happening is fatally flawed and highly misleading.
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@KRVB MMShCh said
"The language your using to describe the state begs me to think of the Dark Night of the Soul, which is sort of the dark before the dawn. I recommend giving St. John of the Cross' The Dark Night of the Soul a read - maybe that will provide you with some insight into what you are experiencing.
www.karmel.at/ics/john/dn.html
616"
While dryness is indeed one of the aspects of the Dark Night of the Soul, I always understood St. John of the Cross to be describing the Crossing of the Abyss:
- the loss of ego/HGA (signified by his dedication to the decalsced Carmelites - i.e. those who have taken off their sandals, unshod, barefoot
- the gradual “aridity” that overcomes the soul before the person becomes "enkindled" in God
- the motif of draining one’s Cup to the last drop (i.e. Christ's prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane).
Compare with AC's description of the Nemos in the City of Pyramids in Vision and the Voice.
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@h2h said
"While dryness is indeed one of the aspects of the Dark Night of the Soul, I always understood St. John of the Cross to be describing the Crossing of the Abyss:[/q8uote]
John speaks of two Dark Nights. Usually these are interpreted as the darkness before the K&C (i.e., the Dom. Lim. stage) and that before the admission into Binah.Or at least that's the theory. Another view is that St. John didn't have acccess to that level (was not really a Master of the Temple, merely a very advanced Adept), and that his two "nights" were what today we'd call the Path of Tav and the pre-Tiphereth stage... inferring that the Ordeal of the Abyss is still a third.
"2) the gradual “aridity” that overcomes the soul before the person becomes "enkindled" in God"
"That is a pretty telling mark of the Abyss ordeal in contrast to the others I mentioned - though one should say "rekindled."
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@Jim Eshelman said
"That is a pretty telling mark of the Abyss ordeal in contrast to the others I mentioned - though one should say "rekindled.""
I am interested in the significance of this (re) in "rekindled". By rekindling do you mean the re-experiencing of God that one had prior to, or between incarnation(s)? Or do you meaning re-experiencing God that one had in this same incarnation, lost and then found again?
Where, exactly, do you assign the first kindling?
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Something commonly missed in St. John's Dark Night of the Soul... I don't know if you're missing it, but it's commonly missed.
Inherent in the definition of the Dark Night is that it was preceeded by a day - it is the experience of the loss of (a level of) intimate connection with God, not a "having not gotten it yet." There was always a prior kindling (in the present incarnation), otherwise we're talking about a different phenomenon.
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Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.
@Jim Eshelman said
"I know it's really tempting to measure success in these practices on whether you feel anything. However, that's not always a good gauge. We feel sensations from these things to the extent that we have resistance to them. The resistance is usually because we are too "small" (in our capacity, etc.) for the amount of energy coming through. To be a little crude (but trying to find something of universal experience), it's like having an unusually large defecation that's straining one's normal elasticity."
The above analysis explains a lot. (As well as opening the door for some really disgusting jokes...
) However, I half expected you to recommend INCREASING practice in some capacity during dryness, in order to retain the sensation of moving forward. After all, by the above logic, if you are dry, you're ready to do more, correct? Not that everyone always has the manic wherewithall to pull that off, but just theoretically speaking... could you avoid most of the dryness by just amping up your practice in difficulty, repetition, or duration?Love is the law, love under will.
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@jlpugh said
"However, I half expected you to recommend INCREASING practice in some capacity during dryness, in order to retain the sensation of moving forward."
I've never found fault with the general guide that, if you're doing practices and dryness (a mark of progress) hits, then don't change anything.
"After all, by the above logic, if you are dry, you're ready to do more, correct?"
I trust nature to take care of such things. - Of course, that depends on the practice. For something like pranayama, success is often a signal for upping the ante. But, in that case, the signal isn't dryness - it's easy, comfort, a clear mark of success.
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I was suprised at just how much Molinos wrote about dryness in the Spiritual Guide. If you have it in PDF, do a search on 'dry'. One snippet:
Think not that when thou art dry and darksom in the presence of God, with faith and silence, that thou do’st nothing, that thou losest time, and that thou are idle, because not to wait on God, according to the saying of St. Bernard (Tom.5.in Fract. de vit. solit.c.8.p. 90.), is the greatest idleness: Otiosum non est vacare Deo; inimo negotiorum omnium hoc est; And elsewhere he sayeth, that that idleness of the Soul is the business of the businesses of God. Hoc negotium magnum est negotium.
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@Jim Eshelman said
"Inherent in the definition of the Dark Night is that it was preceeded by a day - it is the experience of the loss of (a level of) intimate connection with God, not a "having not gotten it yet." There was always a prior kindling (in the present incarnation), otherwise we're talking about a different phenomenon."
It sounds like you are describing the loss of connection with one's HGA during the Crossing of the Abyss that is then recovered in the City of the Pyramids when consciousness completely identifies with (formerly external) reality. Would the aforementioned process (Crossing Abyss -> City of Pyramids) fit in somewhere in the solar cycle of Liber Resh - e.g. the journey from Khephra (midnight) to Ra (dawn)?
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@h2h said
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@Jim Eshelman said
"Inherent in the definition of the Dark Night is that it was preceeded by a day - it is the experience of the loss of (a level of) intimate connection with God, not a "having not gotten it yet." There was always a prior kindling (in the present incarnation), otherwise we're talking about a different phenomenon."It sounds like you are describing the loss of connection with one's HGA during the Crossing of the Abyss that is then recovered in the City of the Pyramids when consciousness completely identifies with (formerly external) reality."
Yes, that's one example. But there are also lesser levels. For example, it isn't unusual for the means by which one "knows God" to vary from grade to grade.
A personal example... I began A.'.A.'. work with an a priori idea that "God" was found within. Then, when I went to 1=10 that 'formula' didn't work and I spent a while kinda lost - until the 'Vision of Adonai' hit in a form that presented to me as (more or less) "God is outside." This worked perfectly well - exceedingly well, in fact - until I was wrapping up 1=10. From there through the complete transition into 2=9 I was, again, 'abandoned' in the sense that the old formula was "broken." Only when a new round of spiritual experience disclosed unequivocally (LOL) that "God is within" did things pick up again. - And it didn't matter that "I had the right answer" in the beginning. There is no right or wrong answer for this sort of thing, only one that is functional through one's present process.
The 'anchor' has changed many times since then, but always accompanied by a stage of the old formula failing before a new one can arise.
"Would the aforementioned process (Crossing Abyss -> City of Pyramids) fit in somewhere in the solar cycle of Liber Resh - e.g. the journey from Khephra (midnight) to Ra (dawn)?"
I can't say whether it can be made to fit - and yes, Khephra is probably one place (though the love=death surrender into joy at sunset is pretty tied into it, too). Personally, I don't relate the solar cycle of Resh to the process you're talking about - I find it off of that particular map. However, since this particular kind of mapping is all a matter of making associations, it's ultimately a personal point of view thing.
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Jim - thanks for sharing your personal experiences and insight for each grade. It's far more helpful and direct than reading volumes of esoterica.
Your below comments on Resh are interesting in that it shows we have very different views on it:
@Jim Eshelman said
"I can't say whether it can be made to fit - and yes, Khephra is probably one place (though the love=death surrender into joy at sunset is pretty tied into it, too). Personally, I don't relate the solar cycle of Resh to the process you're talking about - I find it off of that particular map. However, since this particular kind of mapping is all a matter of making associations, it's ultimately a personal point of view thing."
AC regarded Resh to be a key practise throughout his life for good reason. For me, not only does it identify consciousness with the sun and conquer fear of death, but one solar cycle (dawn, noon, evening, midnight --->dawn) represents the fullest evolution attainable in one incarnation as well as a formula for traversing incarnations. But none of this makes any sense until the two horizons by which the sun enters and exits are properly identified.
Tamara just posted a thread on Resh so when I have time I'll post more on that thread.
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@Jim Eshelman said
"Something commonly missed in St. John's Dark Night of the Soul... I don't know if you're missing it, but it's commonly missed.
Inherent in the definition of the Dark Night is that it was preceeded by a day - it is the experience of the loss of (a level of) intimate connection with God, not a "having not gotten it yet." There was always a prior kindling (in the present incarnation), otherwise we're talking about a different phenomenon."
I would suggest it is both a "loss" and a different phenomenon. The loss is of an impression of an intimate relationship with God, whereas the *different phenomenon *pertains to a different order of relationship. A relationship experienced after a different manner, via different faculties.
Assuming I understand your point correctly.
This form of Christian mysticism made much of the distinction between meditation (what we might call prayer and visualisation) and contemplation (what modern Westerners, in common with Eastern practice might generally call meditation).
The "dark night" represents the loss of the value and psychological affect that comes with holding images of God and the enflamed emotions that come with it (meditation). The "dark night" stage is required before becoming able to accept the "imageless prayer" and the direct numinous experience (without images or emotion) of God (contemplation).
In a sense, it is to move from the Briatic consciousness of "archetypal images" to the Atziluthic consciousness of "imageless archetypes". (Forgive a very limited and clumsy use of Qabalistic reference there).
It is also a move from "love of another" to a direct unitary experience of reality. From loving God, with all the ideas and images implicit, and the absorption into a non-dualistic awareness.By the way, much as I admire the Spanish Carmelites and the Rhineland mystics, I would suggest the anonymously written "The Cloud of Unknowing" as the best elaboration of these points.
TaMo