Oaths
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I was reading an older thread and ended up remembering [very vaguely] things that happened in my past, namely:
During really rough times (psychologically), usually in the midst of what would probably qualify as an anxiety or panic attack, I have had a tendency to "detach" from myself and end up having very "spiritual" experiences of my crushing anxiety. Things have been better since, but I do remember several times in which I basically made "oaths" to myself, for or about various things that I considered important at the time; the only specific example I can remember is making an oath not to lose "it" as I grew up, "it" being the spark that made me different and kept me from being what I saw as "sterile."
This is basically the only one I actually remember, though.
My question is: Do you think these are "magical" enough oaths to have the effect of a "true" magical oath wherein I am bound for life? I was certainly in a very "powerful" state of mind when I made most of them, although I had basically no understanding of magick at any of those times. I'm also worried because I basically don't consciously remember any of them, only that I made them and meant it at the time, at least on some level.
Secondly, I'm pretty sure I must have flat-out contradicted myself between "oaths" at least a few times as I grew up. Can anyone guess as to what would occur if one took two literally contradictory oaths without really thinking about either one?
Finally, I have a really nasty feeling that in a fit of teenage fear I might have sworn never to perform magick - and I'm not experienced enough in it yet to determine how or whether it would actually affect me.
Any help would be greatly appreciated. I can't believe I forgot about this until now.
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Random Thought:
If you follow the point of view that we are constantly changing (maybe akin to the concept of Anatta), and the person who came in the door isn't the same person who is exiting the door type of thing, then there is no conflict in believing that the person who made the oath A, isn't the same person that made the oath B.
On the other hand:
If I'm trying to get the bundle of impressions which I call Tinman to write a complete sentence and his mind wanders from thought to thought and hey look who just walked in wouldn't it be better to talk about LOST with them then perhaps maintaining an oath to complete this sentence would be beneficial to "Tinman's" goal.
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Ash: Don't forget, the judge, jury, and executioner for your actions is your own mind. If you do something that at least part of you finds unfair or dishonest, then it will find a way to punish you internally.
Be open and try to listen to all parts of yourself, in this case especially listen for guilt or accusations. And then negotiate with yourself to reach an understanding. For little things, minor promises to ourselves that we made hastily, forgot, and broke, try to remember that we're not perfect. For big oaths, that you entered into with all your heart and soul, then you must try to find a way to fulfill them in some meaningful way.
As far as why we do it (make hasty oaths and break them quickly): we are divided within ourselves and desperately seeking leadership and a mission. Build your self esteem, build your ego, and then with it, listen to the rest of your needs, and lead your mind to knowledge of the self.
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I wonder the differences seen by the sexs. Iam by nature able to have a change of heart easily like the Moon, yet my Brothers seem much more ridged and place more value on being steady like the Sun.
Oaths, promises, contracts, pledges, agreements.
Things with feelings or facts behind them.I too made pledges to myself as a youth. From my heart, I swore I **would never **do, say, be......I swore, I pledged to myself that **I would **do, say and be.... And from my heart to my mind to my soul I made a contract. These agreements I have made with myself have run in the background, like the operating system of my pc. They have dictated my behaviors, thoughts, beliefs because I reprogrammed myself.
While my pledges where made as a child does that mean that they did not effect me? Does the fact that I didnt know what I was actually doing have any bearing on the effects it had on me? What powers held me accountable to my oaths and pledges, did The Gods and Goddesses write it down in thier little black book? Did they say"oh Veronica promised this, and swore that," Did they question my accountablility and think I was too young, too immature to be bound to that pledge, that I Didnt know what I wass getting herself into"? Did it matter that I pledged never to cook rabbit (something mundane, simple yet specific) or that I swore that I would never allow my children to grow up in such chaos ( big, vague, magickal). It matters when it came from my heart, and I gave it my energy, feeding my focus with my heart and mind felt determinism.
I made those agreement with myself, my higher self if you may. I hold myself accountable, and anytime I go against an ageement I have, (my programming) I run into problems, resistance, struggles, sickness, unbalanced, dis-ease, ect....its like a system crash on your pc (or Mac, some apples do get worms ya know.) My inner being, my body of light, my synaspse in my brain know when I am attempting to run a alternate program, and I get lots of error messages.
What if I have a change of heart though, what if my situation changes and I have to cook rabbit? What if my heart says its ok now. Well then I dont need that ageement, that pledge, that oath and I have the power to rewrite my programming. Often we do make pledges under stress, we swear that if we get out of this expierence we will........(never do that again, never make that choice again, never never land....) But often those oaths do not intergrate, do not transmute and we do not hold ourselves accountable to them. when the stress has passed, we slip right back to where we were. (lots of people with sick loved ones make such pledges to "God" , or domestic abusers pledge to not abuse, or criminal who got caught...) The Heart energy, the initial energy was there, but it ran counter current to programming and does not have enough energy to reprogram your being.
Sometimes too, our bodies will hold on to a belief (ie an oath you made to never do something) Becuase you have this agreement you will never be able to do it. You will set yourself up for failure if you will. In her books Carolyn Myss teaches about the contracts we have with ourselves (Sacred Contracts which is an excellent guide to your chakras BTW) that run our behaviors, thoughts and lives basically.
Now I know in the occult world espically the ceremonial and high magickal arts, a lot of stress is placed on oaths, and pledges and loyality to lineages and a lot of energy is spent on stressing the severity of making a pledge to a group of people, to the Gods, to the Laws of nature what have you. Correct me if I am wrong but I think that there are people working on forming magickal partnerships (ageements, methods of organization and control) with embodied souls as well as disembodied energy forms. When working energetically we need to form strong bonds in order to manifest tangible results, and that is where Oaths are made. In breaking these bonds you risk serious harm, on all levels, to all participants. I like to see the world through the eyes of the Periodic Table of Elements, some things mix well somethngs dont, and the mixing is the bonding . In breaking your oaths you set your self apart. It is where the term Warlock originated from, a warlock is an oath breaker, a traitor, and should not be trusted with mysteries and identities (not as important in modern day, but still very important to not squweel that so and so is an occultist).
My Children are forced every school day to pledge thier allegiance to the Flag. Is thier heart in it?
My Son made a pledge to his scouting pack giving him the right to use a pocket knife. Was his heart in it?
I signed an agreement with a credtior, and have found that ageement to not be legally binding, that I was deliberately mislead. Am I held by the terms?Are my Children held by thier oath to the flag? IMO no
Is my son held by his heart felt pledge to his pack, IMO yes.
Am I obligated to the term of the credit card-nope, I had a change of heart."Can anyone guess as to what would occur if one took two literally contradictory oaths without really thinking about either one?"
with out thinkin indicates with out feeling, with out feeling you exert little or no energy , so no result
everything is always relative but
I know from my expierence.....
its like dancing on the edge of a sword
delicate, tricky, perscise, exact
Drama
disharmony
incongruence
You most likely will also have physical signs of the blockage or leak. -
Thank you Veronica, that was an awesome reply and it helped a lot.
I just have had a "fire-and-forget" kind of tendency with spiritual matters in the past and was wondering how to view it.
I presume my present situation and feelings are much more important than my past feelings, however strong, and I presume my higher self (or insert synonym here) is more than aware that my feelings would change in this specific way.