Energy Work - Microcosm creation and recreation
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I am reading a most fascinating book called Animism, Magic and the Divine King and while I havent finished the book yet, I have seen some interesting turns in my perception that may be helpful to you.
To get right to the nitty gritty it sounds to me like what you are talking about enegy wise, could be compared to [censored], actually, it should be compared to [censored], and specifically what happens to a man, before during and after [censored].
At the climax of [censored], man expierences a seperation, and then well....dies. It has been thought for ages that this seperation of fluid (which could be concidered the Soul) is not desirious, and man should do everything possible to prevent this death.
You may do well to concider this concept more, and to look into the yogic art of tantra.
I do not know if you are having [censored] IRL but what you mentioned brings up the thoughts of vitality, impotence, and even ego, which are all very phallic....
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I do believe what you are explaining is Life, or Life Work, or the Cycle of Life....
Its not about abstaining from [censored], heaven forbid I would Ever suggest that (VBG). I may be wrong, and I hope to be corrected if I am, but I think its more about maintaining [censored].
From what I have come to understand, our world is the way it is because of [censored]. When I look at issues I try to get to the source, and since [censored] is the source, I do well to start there.....
That book was a surprise bonus. One summers day i got "lost" and found myself at a strange barn sale somewhere in corn country USA. I took it home for a dollar, first edition hardcover.....hot stuff. I forgot I had it and picked it up the other day off my shelves.
Having energy is a wonderful thing, and finding ways to maintain and control it is a good way to spend your time.