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"Satan, Show Yourself!" A comedy about a boys 1st evocation

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  • A Offline
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    Anonymous
    wrote on last edited by BillieA93
    #1

    Here's a true story that is quite funny, imo.

    So i was religious zealot when i was a little boy and spent a lot of time studying the bible. One day after sabbath I was thinking about a discussion we had in class regarding Satan's powers and limitations. I was fascinated by him really, but had convinced my 8 year old mind that if i ever got my hands on him, i would give him a proper ass kicking. I was getting ready to take a shower that evening and recalled that Satan had the power of invisibility, which caused me to wonder if he was in fact in the bathroom right then and there watching me au naturel. I thought, "Nah, I'll just pray to jesus to make Satan go away." So I'm standing in the shower praying for jesus to keep satan out of the bathroom so he can't see me naked, but i just can't shake the feeling that there is an evil presence.

    So i think, "This is the opportunity I've been waiting for." and decide to command satan to appear in the name of Jesus so i can give him the ass kicking I had been dreaming of. So I loudly proclaim, "Satan! Show yourself!!" and BAM! All the lights in the bathroom blow out. It's pitch black in there, can't even see my hand in front of myself and i drop onto all fours and start thinking, "oh my gosh what am i doing, satan is like the king of evil!?" I decide to run for the door in the dark so i count down and spring into action. I slam into the door, fiddle with the lock and tear through the house screaming.

    My parents come out and ask whats going on, and i say that the lights in the bathroom went out. My dad's chuckling so he walks to the bathroom with me and he tries the light switches; nothing. So he walks to our circuit breaker on the other side of the house and shows me how they were blown and needed to be reset. Funny, the only ones in the entire house right?! haha...

    So, suffice it to say, the rest of my shower was hurried and i got outa there asap.

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  • A Offline
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    Anonymous
    replied to Anonymous on last edited by
    #2

    ""oh my gosh what am i doing, satan is like the king of evil!?""

    ROFL...

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  • V Offline
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    Vlad
    replied to Anonymous on last edited by
    #3

    I didn't have time.

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  • M Offline
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    Mephisto
    replied to Anonymous on last edited by
    #4

    Sounds like Alan Bennett's experience in the garden. 😆

    Looking at this from an empirical perspective, has anybody here tried the "bloody Mary" evocation with the mirror, or reciting the Lord's Prayer backwards, etc? An old girlfriend of mine used to swear that she saw "Bloody Mary" in the mirror after saying her name 13 times in the dark.

    Just curious...

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  • R Offline
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    redd fezz
    replied to Anonymous on last edited by
    #5

    that's a great story and illustrates the point well that the mind is a terrible thing to waste as I sit here drinking ice beer.

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  • V Offline
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    Vlad
    replied to Anonymous on last edited by
    #6

    Sounds like a good way to waste it.

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  • R Offline
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    redd fezz
    replied to Anonymous on last edited by
    #7

    yup

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  • K Offline
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    Khut-n-Abt
    replied to Anonymous on last edited by
    #8

    This is a great story! 😆 I hadn't thought about this in years, but my friend Mike and I attempted to "summon the Devil" for our seventh grade science project. We made a circle out of binder paper, drew all the necessary signs on it, made a wand, and stood in front of the class trying to summon the Prince of Darkness. Alas, nothing happened. I'm surprised we were allowed to go through with it as we were students at a Catholic school.

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  • S Offline
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    sphinx666
    replied to Anonymous on last edited by
    #9

    ...are you sure nothing happened? 😉

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  • C Offline
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    Cornelius
    replied to Anonymous on last edited by
    #10

    Me and my friends used to say "CANDYMAN" into a mirror three times when we were younger.
    Nothing happened.

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  • V Offline
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    Vlad
    replied to Anonymous on last edited by
    #11

    It's because you need to do it five times. I've done it.

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