[un]sure

[un]sure

Greetings!

I've not read anyone else's introduction, so I am just going to wing it. Stop when you get bored because this is turning into a very long post, and really for my benefit more than anyone else's.

My goal here is to try to strip away ideas that I have which are untrue, and practices that are futile, and maybe, just maybe, replace them with an idea, a practice, that has a solid foundation. I'd like to decrease the bull**** and increase the.... ?

Concepts important to me: sacrifice, (sacra fiche- a sacred doing), agnosis, kenosis, gnosis. Kill the Lotus Blossom before it can bloom.
Microcosm and Macrocosm/ as above, so below/ inner, outter.
The concept of journey, process, Great Work, over time.
Things as being on a gradient, a spectrum.
The part and the whole.
Active/passive
And, at the extreme risk of being lumped in with many, many other people who use these words: faith, hope, love. In fact, just forget I said it, because I am almost sure to give you the wrong impression by saying that. They are light in darkness, will without reason.

I'm probably not going to be major player here. I have two kids and am married so there are things competing for my time, but I've read the forums casually w/o registering a few times in the past. I've NOT registered in the past because, well, I've not felt connected to it, however I've read Danica's posts here:
<a class="postlink-local" href="http://www.heruraha.net/viewtopic.php?f=20&t=7809">viewtopic.php?f=20&t=7809</a> and for the fist time felt a connection, as if someone was speaking my language, at my level so... here I am. (No, not in any kind of stalker way, Danica, if you should chance read this, whoever you are. As in "a connection with the forum board. )

I'd say I'm familiar with some of the outer culture of Thelema, kablallah/(or with a q, or with however many L's and with or without the H on the end ), gnosticism, "Adam Weishapt"-inspired organizations, what precious, near-irrelevant information we have on ancient Druids, Egyptian, kundalini-based, and a host of other ideological oddities and what amount to conspiracy, more than I'd say I comprehend the core concepts of them. I'd say 99% of it amounts to so much wtf-ery.

I was raised and took into myself Roman Catholicism at an early age. Everybody thought I was going to be a priest, including myself - unquestioned. I've been fortunate enough to have a number of friends growing up that helped me stop to think for a moment and now I consider myself a "recovering catholic" in that respect. /smirk

Now, I pluck what I find useful from whatever ideas I hear about and I am very hesitant to "drink the punch" so to speak.

I've rambled far too longer than most anyone will find relevant now. People tell me I overthink things But here I am.

Quintessence

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.