Combatting Manic Episodes
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Well, writing and drawing came quite naturally in those periods, and while they're concrete, they haven't served much use except to sort of scarily reflect my state.
But I do think applying the energy to something both concrete and practically useful might satisfy all the demands made of me during those times.
Thanks.
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If this was me, and I was experiencing what you described I would:
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Radically change my consumptions, on all levels. What you are describing is out of control, and should be brought back under co trol first by diet. Fresh raw vegetables, no complex carbs, no meat or animal products. I would also undergo a cleansing regim, to purify my digestive tract, which also includes fasting to give the system a break.
This dietary change should last at least three months, but possibly six.
I would do this under medical supervision, especially if I am taking any RX. -
I would force myself to participate in some sort of vigorous physical excersize, one that raises my heart rate, and gets me sweating. Everyday, at least half an hour of vigorous physical exercise, plus an ample warm up, and cool down.
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I would force myself to engage my brain and hands in mental activity of a non religious, non spiritual nature....like doing puzzles, making furniture, sewing, needle craft, weaving, archery, leather crafting, gardening, pottery.
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Get outside. Get sunshine. Get fresh air. Get rained upon. Be with the trees, walk on the grass, visit parks, and waterways as much as possible.
If what you are doing, doesn't work, do something different.
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"What you are describing is out of control, and should be brought back under control first by diet."
What I am describing is a spiritual experience and direct interaction with reality on a previously unexperienced level. I have tested it repeatedly to the best of my mind's ability, recording unexplainable synchronicities, confronting and directly challenging its paradoxes, "breaking the rules" in ways that it attempted to resist, but ultimately in ways to which it had to submit because there are greater and harsher rules of existence than those I broke.
Forgive me for reacting to your thoughtful and well-intended post. There are pieces of your advice that I will absolutely take. But I am no longer able to deny the reality of my experiences nor characterize them simply as mania (something *I admit *reading into your post).
To deny the validity of my experiences submits me to principles of discernment much less strict and severe than my own and literally makes my junk go limp.
I have played far too complex a game with reality to submit to the superficial diagnoses of those only concerned with correcting unsociable behavior. Please forgive me for spilling out on your some of my reactivity on this matter. I felt the need to clarify some things more than you deserved to be the focal point of it.
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There is nothing to forgive
You asked what I would do if I had those symptoms. I told you what I would do, if it was me.
I do not like it when I become personally unbalanced, and have a proven method that works for me, and several clients who also do not like being unbalanced.
I firmly believe that spirituality is rooted in biology.
And so that is why I always believe in getting to the root, and the source.In my opinion, most human would do well to check out how they are grounded, and what they are intaking to nourish them. You are what you eat after all.
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Thank you for that, and that's why I'm open to the general suggestions.
What most people don't seem to get is that the mania is not the cause. As far I can trace the inciting incidents, it is a triggered effect - it's a fascination with the unexplainable - a desire for it to continue - more! more! more!
To the extent that this effect can be controlled through diet and exercise, I'm open. But the really difficult part - the part that I suspect probably has more to do with Will - is to turn away from the fascination and to let the experience be over.
The testing part of it is over. That's good. In a different phase, so to speak. Now, I just need to make sure I can control my reaction. You gave good advice for that. Like I said, I just felt the need to clarify. It's a battle I have fought repeatedly, and I have sensitive scars.
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I don't know the exact combo of causative factors in your case--but the effect of some simple dietary changes can be shockingly huge sometimes.
For example, I had some pretty serious winter blues every year that I lived in the northern half of the US. Then started taking fish oil (DHA and EPA) supplements and it vanished in a few days, only to return every time I ran out (and disappear again when I got more!).
Regarding big dietary changes: I have had to be careful about making drastic changes at once though--I consider it part of learning to switch from Hare to Tortoise
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My own comments earlier have set me to thinking. And so, I realize it's confusing when I say that my experiences were both maddening and real.
There are definitely aspects of my experience that are false and have no basis in consensus reality - fictional plotlines that have much more to do with repressed aspects of my own psyche emerging and finding their place in my life. Stuff like that, I consider only "true" so far as my own psychology goes. There's a lot of projection that, as I said, has no basis in consensus reality.
However, there are also aspects of my experiences that are true. That interplay that exists within not only my own psyche but begins to warp and bend external circumstances to it - that's real. That's a real thing that happens. The idea that my subconscious absolutely will extrapolate (and perfectly) on the strong ideas given to it, that's a very real thing, manifesting in the most strange and poignant coincidences, even when the plotline itself is false. And, that there is a guide as well, even if that too must be relegated to having its source within my own psyche - that's real too, and extremely important.
Each time, I've learned something very valuable about myself. I've accomplished something (psychologically) that I never before had the courage to do. Those are the parts that are real. And it's the closest to experiencing a "God" that I have ever achieved. That's why it's hard to put down, even when the story sours because I start forcing it.
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Nothing(and I mean NOTHING) has helped me more than the artistic work of Maynard James Keenan.
He's another fellow maniac, and has found quite a constructive use for it.
By opening myself to his Word, I was given the TOOL(pun intended) I needed to integrate the accidental initiations that come with having such a raw perception into some sort of personal coherency.The most important thing, though, is a sense of humor.
Our Universe is quite playful.
There's always something funny about Chaos, no matter how scary it gets, so never forget to laugh.
A simple "Ha!" in the middle of an episode has done wonders for me to get my head back on my shoulders.The most fatal of all illusion is control.
So, let go. Go with the flow. Follow the Floods to the Water's new resting place.
If you get manic, let it run its course. It more than likely has something to teach you.
Just don't get your ego involved with anything you come across.
Breathe it in.
Things only have the meaning we give them.In the meantime, check out the works of Peter J. Carroll, since you seem to have developed a bit of a taste for Chaos. Nature has that taste too, so playing along truly is a pleasure, since Chaos over time is just Order anyway.
Alice in Wonderland. Fool in Adjustment.
Have fun with it. -
Dear Brother
I am smacking my forehead, for I can't believe what I forgot....
What works for me, that is....And I will tell you it came to mind, as I read your words about experiencing god....
Nothing, not food n diet, not exercise, not fresh air, or busy work.....works as well at not only rebalancing, but keeping you at the higher octave then.....sex. Sex. Sex.
How man times have I said, that pson needs a good shAgging, or...give that guy a bj and see how fast his attitude adjusts, or f her long and hard and see will see the light....ah if, I had a penny for each time....
Intimate communion with another living person, the gift of your love to that person, of not having sex for your orgasm, but intimacy for the sake of giving pleasure to someone else, putting your needs completely aside, is more then just nice, it is healing, it is therapeutic, love is the law!
You want more, more, more....well I do too, I like being happy and upbeat, helpful, kind...I like that and I know that sex, being sexual, being intimate, having a relationship with a human being is experiencing god dess, and brings more of the good stuff into my life.
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Veronica is dead-on about diet. The preservatives in MOST foods today are actually designed by the "higher ups" decades ago to drive our bodies and minds insane, and keep us insane.
You see, most preservatives that are "their" synthetic disgusting children not only rot the body, they make you want more of it. And your body can smell it in the food you just ate. So it looks for more of that plastic-shiny disgusting look that "their" food has to it (Applebees commercials ring a bell,) to get more disgusting preservatives... more addictive than heroin or tobacco, no joke. Now your body's not only smelling for it, but actually subconsciously looking for it, and it sees it in boxes of microwaveable food and commercials.
Now if you have your body seeking out more of this disgusting crap, what's your mind doing about it? More than likely wondering what the hell it's master just put into it's temple, and why. Now if your mind is going in the opposite direction than the body mindlessly looking for it's next preservative nom-nom "fix", the mind is left almost lost, unable to manifest it's purely healthy and logical will upon the animal body killing itself.
Same goes for alcohol, except the desire is conscious and known for centuries. We didn't always have nasty little nazi illuminati turds putting this crap into our food.
When I went all natural in 2001, my mind settled, I almost automatically stopped smoking cigarettes, I had, and still have endless energy like I never had eating crap that our parents "turned us on to."
Now, 11 years later, with my Magickal regimens, diet, "sacrament"(look up mimosa hostilis, and cannabis) use, all my childhood friends at 30-something are losing their hair and looking old like "regular" people do. I still look like I'm 19-23. (I'm 32.) Note! I do not suggest anyone use anything that is contraband in their part of the world. I live in a place waaay away from those worthless laws. Would a policeman dare arrest you in the halls of Amenti, or on the Moon, or in an Astral Plane checking out Enki's halls at Eridu? No! Take charge people! Demand your rights!
Alright, enough of that.
Anyways, I used to be manic in a lot of ways, including obsessive-compulsive. 2 experiences with psilocybin mushrooms fixed me completely. Again, I emphasize the legality in your area, but starting with low doses and opening all of your brain/spirit and balancing it during a night is priceless.
It could take the normal magician years of practice to open things as much, and I speak from plenty of experience. Someone who has been lucky enough and pulled up far enough to have Knowledge and Conversation, but not enough to completely hear my Angel's name. It comes in syllables I can't quite put together right.So yes, the vast intelligence of living beings on the Earth in Plant and Mushroom form hold the secrets to why we are here, and to all practical Magick.
If you live in an area where you cannot grow your own herbs/mushrooms, then meditation is always an option, and there are plenty of legal loopholes when it comes to God's True Sacraments he left upon the Earth to awaken us. (Oh yes Children, not just Emerald Tablets and Pyramids meant for adepts wishing to leave for Amenti!) He left so much. If anyone needs further information on how to safely and legally obtain sacraments for rituals or spiritual growth, don't hesitate to PM me with any questions. I've been doing this for years and years.
Nowadays, it's hard to believe I was checking lightswitches again and again to make sure they were off before leaving a room when I was about 14. That kind of mania plays into everything.
Having your neural pathways opened and cleaned feels like Hermes and Pan themselves massaging the fatty corridors of your brain with fingers of Light.
(I would like to make a point that purified, bastardized, addictive parts of nature man has ruined are not what I am taking about in the least. Always follow your local laws and regulations.)
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@ThelemicMage said
"So yes, the vast intelligence of living beings on the Earth in Plant and Mushroom form hold the secrets to why we are here, and to all practical Magick. "
I believe Jesus has the secrets to why we are here.
Or maybe:
*MISTAKES OF MYSTICS
I. Since truth is supra-rational, it is incommunicable in the language of reason.II. Hence all mystics have written nonsense, and what sense they have written is so far untrue.
III. Yet as a still lake yields a truer reflection of the sun than a torrent, he whose mind is best balanced will, if he become a mystic, become the best mystic.
THE METHOD OF EQUILIBRIUM
I. THE PASSIONS, ETC.
I. Since the ultimate truth of teleology is unknown, all codes of morality are arbitrary.
II. Therefore the student has no concern with ethics as such.
III. He is consequently free 'to do his duty in that state of life to which it has pleased God to call him.' *
Or maybe:
It's easier to rationalize drug use when we feel like we're learning the secrets of the universe. I rationalize using them because they are fun and you only live once (according to some theories).
YOLO!!!
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Now, I must say, please do not take the following post as an insult:
That's about the worst reason you could use a drug, including a food, a woman/man, or anything else that makes a physical change in your body or brain.. because it's "fun".
Since you brought up the actual word "drug", separating it, (like I so did not want to do), from the miracles of the plant and mushroom kingdom, into that category of purified, bastardized, pieces of sad creation man has caused much pain to himself/herself with, I shall have to bring up a point to shatter your "excuses" myth for drug use.
Cannabis, everyday users eventually turning to very light everyday users, start to absorb beautiful sorrow from the universe and the world around them, meditating it in their brains and spirits, bringing balance by absorbing and enjoying this perfect sorrow. Not "Fun", as you so loosely put it.
Recent studies show that cannabis does not actually physically "harm" or destroy any parts of the brain or body.MDMA, one of the most harmful drugs known to man that is used for recreation, is "fun". It also burns out your rhizomes in your brain faster than a John Deere mows down grass. You "cheat" your brain and nature by taking a completely synthetic drug that's action in the brain is well studied and documented.. ie scientists Know that it mows down rhizomes and makes people worthless and stupid, some even have to learn to walk again after a week binge.
NONE, and I mean NONE of the natural plant sacraments will do that, save maybe some poisonous plants that cause nerve damage and so on.
Now we recall the end of Liber Trigrammaton, "Thus was the end of it sorrow, but in that sorrow a six-fold star or glory where men might see to return to the stainless abode. Yea, to the stainless abode."
Not a "fun" situation. But sorrowful, as lady Cannabis teaches us, as well as optimistic, evolutionary, amusing, and ego-shattering, realizing we are on the lowest vibration of our Divine Creator's manifestation.I here, must reinstate the idea that God himself has left things here for us to eat that make more of our brains, and thus mind and then spirit, available to us. We were also left food, procreative organs, and a sense of sorrow and burning ambition to always keep going. "Fun" does not enter into my vocabulary at all post 21 years old. "Amusement" would be more like it.
So let's remember that there are secrets in every corner of the woodwork of creation, many leading a path of plant teachers and so on.
For instance, getting clean from opiates actually lead me into Aleister Crowley's work, with Diary of a Drug Fiend. Now after being into it for years, I can do opium if I wish without consequence. It's almost unfathomable for me to think I used to have a problem with such a beautiful, powerful, benign plant.
But now the thought arises, 31 years ago I was crapping in my diapers relying on giants for nourishment and elves/angels for amusement. How things grow.
Again, please do not take this post as an insult, but we (the populace) are being fed crap in food and TV (I don't own a TV), to be controlled like pigs and sheep. The reason all these wonderful plant allies are "controlled" is because they want you to eat their crap and watch their people's crap and have you under their thumb, not having any real "fun" at all, like getting to know your mind by physically and safely opening your cerebral cortex with a plant, with healthy food, or with Magick.
Now you should always follow your local laws and ordinances, but like most in the know, there are ways around getting controlled. For Horus's sake they'd outlaw Magick right Now if they could and you know it. But they can't because not only of the patterns of society they cannot fully control, but ever the reason after such things.. we are being Divinely guided and that's why there are loopholes, and that's why we are not hunted down for thinking differently or doing "weird" stuff.
That's why I can legally order a print or syringe of mushroom spores safely to my house, anywhere in America but california. (Makes me think of the nostradamus prediction of it falling off the face of the map.)
It's also why I can go out into the woods at night, protect my sacred area with Magick, and get as loud as I wish with no one to hear me but the spirits of the forest. We, even we who seek the Sacred Stone, must always listen to that divine voice, flowing with Ra, Osiris, Horus, yea by the voice of our Holy Guardian Angels.
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MDMA is very promising for PTSD, and a person can harm themselves emotionally/psychologically using marijuana. Natural vs. synthetic is oversimplifying, and misleading in this context.
Everything is a tool, and can be helpful or harmful depending on context and use.
In the context of this thread, psychedelic drug use in general is not very helpful when one is hoping to combat or prevent manic episodes.
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@ThelemicMage said
"That's about the worst reason you could use a drug, including a food, a woman/man, or anything else that makes a physical change in your body or brain.. because it's "fun". "
"Worst reason" involves a judgment that you wish to apply to my Path, or just opinion?
@ThelemicMage said
"Since you brought up the actual word "drug", separating it, (like I so did not want to do), from the miracles of the plant and mushroom kingdom, into that category of purified, bastardized, pieces of sad creation man has caused much pain to himself/herself with, I shall have to bring up a point to shatter your "excuses" myth for drug use."
Haha! But denial is the first step. Thus your rant championing your pet theories.
@ThelemicMage said
"Cannabis, everyday users eventually turning to very light everyday users, start to absorb beautiful sorrow from the universe and the world around them, meditating it in their brains and spirits, bringing balance by absorbing and enjoying this perfect sorrow. Not "Fun", as you so loosely put it. "
I like "loosely". So much better than flowery aphorisms masked in fuzzy science.
@ThelemicMage said
"Recent studies show that cannabis does not actually physically "harm" or destroy any parts of the brain or body. "
According to some...depends on the agenda of who is behind the study.
@ThelemicMage said
"Now we recall the end of Liber Trigrammaton, "Thus was the end of it sorrow, but in that sorrow a six-fold star or glory where men might see to return to the stainless abode. Yea, to the stainless abode."
Not a "fun" situation. But sorrowful, as lady Cannabis teaches us, as well as optimistic, evolutionary, amusing, and ego-shattering, realizing we are on the lowest vibration of our Divine Creator's manifestation."Clearly what Crowley meant.
OK.
Yes, food is a drug in the way that it affects our physiology, psychology, etc. But, much of your post is rhetoric with an appeal to emotion bordering on sloppy spiritist sentimentalism. Yes, that may be a bad example of alliteration on my behalf, but correct me if I'm wrong?
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I wish you would have paid attention to the fact that I did not wish to offend you at all.
Why do you think Crowley put so much work in writing, and emphasis on Cannabis in the first few issues of the Equinox?.. the first of his work meant to be mass distributed to the Order and those involved?
Because he had a Very intimate relationship with the plant, as I do. From his journals, he used it for work, not for "fun", as I have for the past 10 years or so. Now young people do like to imagine they have "fun" nowadays, even though they are just killing themselves with alcohol and preservatives, not to mention breathing plenty of carbon monoxide whilst on the road. The last thing they need to hear read on a Magick forum is that drugs should be used because they are "fun"."Flowery" ideas and notions? Sir, you forget you are talking to a fellow seeker of the Light and Stone, not some speed-riddled hippie.
I get your idea to not take anything to seriously, especially things with stigmas attached to them, even in Crowley's time. However, not taking things seriously is what separates stage magicians from real ones. The idea of their money aside.
Now if one had been eating nothing but rice their entire lives, one might think that's all their is to life. Say that same one found an apple tree for the first time. They might think God put it their just so they could taste something sweet, not knowing "He" left them there for nutrition, as well as enjoyment.
Think about it, brother. Peace and Power to You and Yours.
Frank
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@ThelemicMage said
"I wish you would have paid attention to the fact that I did not wish to offend you at all."
There was NEVER any offense taken. I try not to take any chosen belief, at any given time, too seriously...that is, unless I want to...
A concrete belief makes it easy for someone to take offense and is a sign of an unbridled ego. Just because I challenge your theories doesn't mean I am moved to emotion.
@ThelemicMage said
"Why do you think Crowley put so much work in writing, and emphasis on Cannabis in the first few issues of the Equinox?.. the first of his work meant to be mass distributed to the Order and those involved? "
Clearly because he had a deal with Death Row Records before they released The Chronic.
Crowley was interested in anything that moved him beyond "normal" consciousness...not because he felt sentimental toward it.
@ThelemicMage said
"They might think God put it their just so they could taste something sweet, not knowing "He" left them there for nutrition, as well as enjoyment."
People can believe in whatever they want to...including God or gods. The REAL MAGICIAN aims at making his belief system, and his subsequent psychophysiology, as flexible as possible.
Drug-addled ideas, especially mixed with "magical" work, can result in some pretty disasterous consequences including escapism and superiority-complex tendencies. That being said, I sincerely wish you all the best with your Work.
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@Frater 639 said
"Drug-addled ideas, especially mixed with "magical" work, can result in some pretty disastrous consequences including escapism and superiority-complex tendencies. That being said, I sincerely wish you all the best with your Work."
Absolutely. I'm in the process of overcoming that very pitfall.
Things happened very quickly for me and I began to take credit for it all... taking 'sacraments' at every opportunity all the while. I blame myself, not the plants, but I am far more in agreement with an organic diet and steady Vajrayana-esque work before diving back down the rabbit hole. It's like ripping a seedling out of the ground just to see its roots. You know they're there, leave them be.
Let your body run your brain for a while, give your mind a chance to balance itself.
On all levels, equilibrium is the nature of the Work. -
I understand you, Brother.
To be completely honest, I started smoking Cannabis at 15 and eating mushrooms at 17. Many times have I been through different levels of "what's OK to use and how much?".. that is... until I got hardcore into Crowley's work. I think you and I are agreeing on a higher level and we are getting static in our lower communication.
With Crowley, I understood quickly that there should be a definite "reason" to do anything, even get out of bed, much more open yourself up to something beautiful or horrid by introducing your brain and body to Cannabis, alone.
Nowadays, I partake of everything natural from coca, cocoa, Opium poppy, mushrooms, Cannabis, Peyote (another of Crowley's favorites), even sometimes pure Mapacho tobacco and of course good herbs like Calea for lucid/remembering dreaming, Valerian for when I cannot sleep, Syrian rue to combine with DMT for the sacred drink of the rainforest. But I do not by FAR take any of these every day, or too often. My Magick would falter in some way, and become weaker, and I would feel it, and I do on the occasion that it starts to creep up on me.
By Crowley's guidance in the Fountain of Hyacinth and Diary of a DF, I can quickly move away from whatever I was getting too much of without the slightest stress or worry.
I do not know what I would do without Crowley's work on this exact subject. I might have killed myself by accident or ended up in jail. I thank you my Master Therion.
I am 31 now and happy with my life.
I send positive vibes your way so that you may be successful in your work as well, fair Brother.
93
93/93Frank
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I feel you, Frater. I'm sure the connection is strong with a lot of us.
Your avatar makes me wanna fry up some taters.
Peace and Power to You and Yours
93
Frank