Caduceus
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93,
Hello, folks. Let's get straight to business with a brief life history with regards to spiritual practice.
I grew up attending Catholic school from 1st to 12th grade, though I was not a bonafide Catholic (no baptism etc.) While I ended up rejecting many of the assertions of Christianity, in retrospect it was a very useful experience. From there, I dabbled in LaVey's Satanism, Wicca, Asatru, and Buddhism before stumbling on some of Crowley's work.
Shortly thereafter I got myself a copy of Liber AL. After a few years of study and practice in magick, I began to have serious doubts about the authorship of The Book of the Law, or at least whether the source of the book had humanity's best interest in mind (largely due to the 3rd chapter).
I decided to see what other "channeled" material had to say. I ended up becoming very absorbed in the "Law of One" series of books, primarily due to the superficial Egyptian symbolism and some similarities of philosophy put forth by Liber AL. I still find information from these books to hold some value to me.
Sadly, due to gullibility and cessation of healthy skepticism (or are they the same thing?), searching for further material resulted in myself being swallowed by the realm of paranoid UFO cults (well one in particular). I was drawn in by reasonable claims and information that "jived" with other sources I had read.
After about a year or so of declining mental health, my wife was able to piece together a strong and convincing argument that the dominant member of the group I was affiliated with was a con artist and most likely a certifiable sociopath.
After crawling out of the hellish pit I allowed myself to be dragged into, I was left with a deep depression and a spiteful, nihilistic viewpoint. Six months or so of that proved to be enough for myself and those around me and so I decided enough was enough and went back to familiar territory, revisiting Buddhism. I was quickly reminded why I had been dissatisfied with it in the first place.
I am ashamed of my failures, but I am glad for them, as they have made me stronger and wiser.
So the other day, while playing around with a deck of Tarot cards, I felt the old familiar enthusiasm towards learning their secrets, which lead to me thumbing through one of my books on the Kabbalah, which reminded me of days past practicing basic rituals like the LBRP and the Middle Pillar, which reminded me of the Star Ruby, which inspired me to pick up Book 4 again, and while researching a reference, found a post on this forum. I was impressed and humbled by the knowledge I found here.
A long story made short, I am ready to pick up the reins again and get the hell on with a system that makes sense and produces results, and with these results, certainty and joy.
I look forward to being a part of this community.
93/93
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Indeed! I'm hot out of a hole much like this, and I can tell that this forum was one helluva a rational grounding through it all. What you don't find, go ahead and ask; you'll discover(for the most part
) that the people here will offer sane and varied advice for you to pick through and assess yourself with to your heart's content. If you're honest(with us and yourself) and are willing to really work through it, I believe this place will prove to be a valuable asset to your personal Great Work.I wish you a swift equilibrium.
93's