That Mysterious Kundalini...
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Hello! I have been a long-time lurker on this forum and finally decided to post for the first time. I have been pursuing a spiritual path after a Kundalini experience a few years ago. I have been undergoing this process without any formal training, so bear with me.
Over the past three years I have been completely focused on meditating and allowing the Kundalini to unravel/unfurl. It has progressed naturally down the right side of my head and then down my left (where it is nearing what feels like a natural plateau in the "work"). Which is great since the right/left imbalance really pushed me to continue forward at all costs. I have experienced many different psychic phenomenon from this new internal/external world. Many things I had to look up after I had experience. I was completely "normal" previously. Most recently I have experienced a major lightening up of my chest and heart. I have always been a very secretive and independent person so I have really not intentionally let much of this affect how the outside world views me.
My internal instincts have always told me that obsession and focus on any practical/formal dogma would be a distraction to this unraveling process. For the most part I can forcibly continue to unravel it regardless of my real life situation. Sometimes even while walking around in a grocery store, which is where I work.
Is there a limit to this unraveling?
It has preoccupied my concentration and time so much the last three years... It seemed to occupy Gopi Krishna's attention for quite a bit longer. Besides from one particular nasty dark nightish episode, it has improved my life a great deal. I'm certainly not complaining!
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@Saeptus said
"It has progressed naturally down the right side of my head and then down my left (where it is nearing what feels like a natural plateau in the "work")"
First time I have heard of it descending, in my experience it has been the opposite - both personally and from what I have heard from others.
@Saeptus said
"Is there a limit to this unraveling?"
Yes.
It is like peeling an onion, eventually you run out of layers and find nothing. -
Totally from top down. Everything unravels and wants to stretch upward.
I had an out of body experience the first couple of weeks I started dabbling with meditation. Near the end of the experience I was floating in space watching a pathway of colored blocks move in front of me and a giant energy entered into the left side of my head. This whooshing sound was replaced by angelic singing and I woke up a different person. Most of my dreams were lucid from that point on. If I focus on my head I can hear an internal white noise that halts thoughts. Over the next week the top of my head pulsed and started opening. I learned to mimic the movements of the unraveling and have been doing it for three and a half years any chance I got. What feels like rivulets of water streamed down once in a while and opened up new small sections for work. As far as dream initiations goes it worked from the lower centers upwards (Root to Heart). Starting right off I had a lot of sexual dreams but now it's only heart expanding work or general conversation.
I don't drink and never done any drugs so this all was quite unusual yet super interesting. I had no idea what was going on but kept at it secretly, that and a large bookcase now of spiritual/magick books. I was a total atheist before, now I'm only half atheist
It unraveled the left scalp, then right, then forehead evenly, then entire right side (ear takes forever, jaw not so much), then I felt so unbalanced I had to retrain myself to actually be able to move the other side. Front and back work outwards to compensate. When I hit the bottom of the right I had a vision of a monolith with symbols on it and then of being cast down into hell. After this experience if I relax my jaw an audible clicking noise develops around my jaw and it feels like my lower energy centers are screaming at me with energy. Opening this psychic bottleneck has consequences that are very unpredictable for me and still is to this day if I attempt it. I hope when I can complete the upper work and gain more experience this won't be the case.
Exercising at my job every day interacting with people helps with my sanity. If I can get over the fact that I can't ever peer out of my own universe (limitation of ever truly figuring anything out)! It helps to think of it in terms of our own physical universe and it's infinite space.
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I don't really understand the notion of Kundalini unfolding from bottom up. Do you mean up the spine to crown and then down?
The months preceding my initial experience I was a very active runner and then got in a biking accident that gave me among full body bruises a broken collar bone. I refused medication so I was under more pain then normal.
Working energy arts for three years now it feels like a giant flower for a head and a portal I can open and close at the throat. I also spent considerable time working with purifying the lower energy centers (of course there is plenty of hidden layers I need to work! dreams and/or in meditation).
I don't claim anything past Malkuth, just trying to compare notes with other people.
Right now it is totally about sensing smaller abnormalities in my thoughts, feelings, visual imagery and targeting them in meditation. Unifying internal and external perspectives of the world.
If anybody experienced in this could explain that to me (here or private message) it would be greatly appreciated!
Saeptus
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I've read your posts carefully and I'm still unclear on what you are asking to be explained. (I'll make an interpretation, but please excuse me if I get it wrong - I'm reading between the lines.) I think you don't have a particular question but, rather, are looking for people who have undergone similar experience in order to find someone you can have good conversations with - people who get your reality and are accustomed to living with some of the some meta-considerations, meta-needs, and even meta-phenomena as you in an on-going way. Is that correct?
This is difficult to do on a forum. I've never found this medium good for really meaningful communication between people who don't already know each other in person. I've moved through layers of this for decades, since the first, clear Kundalini breakthrough 30+ years ago ('81, '82?). The psychological issues aren't simply Kundalini issues (though it's probably all connected ultimately) but larger initiation ort unfolding issues. That is, people who have never had specific Kundalini breakthroughs per se may still open up or unfold in ways that has dealing with the same questions you're raising. Others take a path through schizophrenia. Others simply introvert, feel "troubled" and more inescapably introspective. And there are lots more variations, for most of which people would be surprised if you suggested they'd had any Kundalini breakthrough.
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I really appreciate the replies Uni_Verse and Jim. It helped.
I guess I was just wondering if there was a point I needed to get to or if it's like a new muscle you appreciate having the rest of your life. No one I know has a clue of what I'm talking about so my only avenue is here.
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@Saeptus said
"I guess I was just wondering if there was a point I needed to get to or if it's like a new muscle you appreciate having the rest of your life."
The latter. A crude parallel: Before a certain age, most people either don't think that much about sex, or at least don't really know what they're talking about. After a certain age, though, it's impossible for most people not to knowingly think about it in an entirely different way than they were capable of before that - and this continues to evolve throughout our lives, and we continue to wrestle with it, etc. It's not that it is necessarily the only thing we think about, but neither is there any entirely getting away from it.
Just to pick one example of many...
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...even though all along something unconscious outside/inside you did know about sex.
I will meditate on viewing this as an evolving awareness as opposed to something I need to finish. I just needed to knock the internal obsessive trainer down a peg. Some perspective. It feels better knowing I don't have to put other things on hold in my life and/or to just enjoy it.
These things have a habit of falling into place regardless, if you know what I mean
Of course you can't get away from this stuff, it's like breathing! And if crap hit's the fan you will certainly know what to do, from God knows where. LOL
Thanks.
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@Saeptus said
"I don't really understand the notion of Kundalini unfolding from bottom up. Do you mean up the spine to crown and then down?"
Yes, that is what I was referring to.
Generally speaking: the experience has been described to me as climbing from the base of the spine upward, then curving back down.
Personally: more or a rising up to explode at the crown and rain down as if a fountain.@Saeptus said
"Working energy arts for three years now it feels like a giant flower for a head and a portal I can open and close at the throat. I also spent considerable time working with purifying the lower energy centers (of course there is plenty of hidden layers I need to work! dreams and/or in meditation)."
The idea that "the fountain has been opened" occurred to me when reading your initial post on this thread.
I did not say anything then, but this comment caused the idea to return more forcefully.@Saeptus said
"I don't claim anything past Malkuth, just trying to compare notes with other people."
To be clear, I am not claiming anything either.
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"The idea that "the fountain has been opened" occurred to me when reading your initial post on this thread.
I did not say anything then, but this comment caused the idea to return more forcefully."Yes, the fountain was there originally, but the character armoring is clear enough in the back. I dunno why that would matter besides the tantrically obvious...
I've instinctively dabbled with postures, breathing, ect. along the way just to survive. Having to keep on digging! Which is why I was wondering if there was an end point.
If I want to really pull awareness upward, mental clarity, I put my head in a bucket of ice cold water. I engage in physical activity if I want to pull awareness lower. Alternate to stir the Kundalini pot. Meditate during any spare moments. I want it to be that simple or else I really would go crazy.
"To be clear, I am not claiming anything either.
"Claims are dumb.
I just want to wander around my island and put on a entertaining variety show for people. A lot of illusions were stripped away from me last year and now I am willing to insert my own.
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@Saeptus said
"
I've instinctively dabbled with postures, breathing, ect. along the way just to survive. Having to keep on digging! Which is why I was wondering if there was an end point."If there is an end point, figuring out what it is does not get you any closer
In other words: deliver your self from the lust of result@Saeptus said
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I just want to wander around my island and put on a entertaining variety show for people. A lot of illusions were stripped away from me last year and now I am willing to insert my own."I am something of a Bard my self.
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"If there is an end point, figuring out what it is does not get you any closer
In other words: deliver your self from the lust of result "If I have learned anything about this process is this:
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Every time I have a sensation/thought/feeling ect. that sticks with me enough to want to change something in my own life I don't act on it and immediately identify it with the Kundalini first and work on it there.
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If it gets to the point where I actually involve another person, like this thread, I know it will be gone completely soon. The Kundalini rug gets pulled out from under you. Of course, replaced by something else.
Thanks for the responses. I will endure until the freaking end like everybody else.
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Mmmm... Saliva and sweat. Two of my favorites.
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The qi is one. The threefold force is one. Does it rise or is it you who dive?
Qi sinks into the dantien, spirit rises. Spirit sinks, qi rises. And not.
Establish the yin and the yang of all things and dress them like pearls onto a necklace.
Kundalini is a specific wavelengh of qi. A pearl onto the necklace.
Reduce the proportion of mistake, and increase that of truth. Thus all things improve surely.