College of Thelema: Thelemic Education

So, do I contact, say, the C.O.T. / T.O.T. and request to be considered a Student?

I have all the books, and yes, a few are digital copies.

Posted something similar to this in another thread, but what the heck.

38 yr old male, freelance artist - my wife and I paint collectible and wargaming hobby miniatures, live in Utah, 3 cats.

Been reading Crowley and others since I was 15 (understanding very little for quite a few years, obviously) but doing little else than reading, for the most part. Toyed with practices (LBRP, etc.) off and on, but never found the right discipline to stick with it.

Collected occult books like they were baseball cards, for the ill-defined and unknown "future" when I might actually try them out.

Recognized some definite personal truths in LHP books and organizations, but never signed up, joined, etc.

Fortuitous circumstances made a copy of Jim's book available, and something clicked - maybe it was the first time really realizing what Scientific Illuminism meant for me at this time of my life - I'm not sure what my attraction is, but it's undeniably there, and has been for so many fracking years, that I thought I should give this intuition another opportunity.

At this point, I consider myself an almost dogmatic materialist/realist, and that's the result of a progressive personality shift that leaves me unsatisfied. I seem to have this deep desire/need to experience something ineffable, something that would convince me that we are more than just meat.

I do my very best to 'believe' nothing. Not sure if that's helping me or hindering me.

Assembled the student syllabus list, started reading and re-reading, and now trying to figure out how to stick to the work without distraction and/or discouragement.

The premise of attainable, verifiable results attracts me, but I can't honestly say if I'll follow through - I want to (Will to?) but only time will tell if I do.

I've been dancing around with Crowley's writings and other related works for 15 years.

I've been a dilettante from day one, and have been an 'armchair occultist' ever since, and I'm frustrated with that aspect of myself.

I'm striving to seriously and significantly change this, and immerse myself in the world of action and practice, rather than intellectualism, theory and the acquisition of knowledge.

So, I purchased a copy of Jim's book - excellent, btw, but I don't need to tell any of you that - and I'm trying to take it slow rather than just read it "fastfood" style and slap it up on my bookshelf.

I've started reading (re-re-reading!) 777 and the Equinox, obtained copies of most of the other books listed in the syllabus (finding Raja Yoga particularly fascinating) and I'm beginning my studying.

Jim's books notes that the student 'pre'grade' is usually a 3 month period - how has that worked for forum members who've actually put in the time and done the work? Was 3 months sufficient, did you end up studying for longer, etc.

I want to be prepared for the test, but I also know that I have a tendency to not only over-prepare, but to procrastinate and focus on the purely rational aspect of learning information, and never get to the "test what you know' part of life.

Also, I'd like to start the prelim. yoga practices - asana and pranayama, at least, while I'm studying - I think some real-world results may be the anchors I need to stick to the work and not get distracted or discouraged.

Thanks in advance to all who read and or comment on my ramblings!

@Frater_AVV said

"

Join the club, baby...

And when I regain the simple discipline of being able to consistently meditate everyday and write in my silly little notebook again, I may just apply for 0=0 ...

after I get the balls to tell my girlfriend...

"

Hahahahahaha!

That post alone had convinced me to join this forum. The 'sad but true' aspect is that's right where I am at this moment. Ah well, nowhere to go but forward...