College of Thelema: Thelemic Education

I think I understand now, sorry for the confusion. My issue was that I fought the being instead of letting it do whatever it was that it was going to do to me, whether it kill me or not. For many years fear has been a barrier to my progression. I lost sight of what we all truly are and reverted to my primal animal instincts.

I apologize if this is a long post for my first post but I'm a long time lurker and hope to learn more and share what I humbly can.

My basic question is what was the giant gargoyle entity that I ran into, and how can I go past this point without getting attacked? Plus any tips / advice in general would be nice. After 15 or so years this is probably my most powerful experience as far as OBEs or Astral Travel goes (I'm slow because I don't put that much effort into it, I think). I immediately used "Voice Memo" on my phone to record what I experienced.

I'm trying to go to sleep when I start feeling like I'm going to have an OBE. I get scared and so I raise energy and surge a burst of it outwards like a shield, this unexpectedly causes what feels like an OBE only I'm in a foreign room with slightly orange tinted smooth redwood walls and a large 8ft potted tropical tree. Recently I've been working on knowledge and conversation of my holy guardian angel, or connecting to my highest self. I remembered Crowley saying that Rising on the Planes was a quick way to do it.

So I blasted upwards trying to shutoff as much of my emotions as possible and just observe (I read recently to do this in Jason Augustus Newcomb's 21st Century Mage). As I was rising through the atmosphere surges of insanely powerful emotional energy kept rising through my body, and it was nearly impossible to keep focus as they pulsed through me the entire way up as it was so amazing and exciting to me. I could feel my entire energy system just radiating.

I past Earth's atmosphere and was stunned by all the stars everywhere, it was mind boggling and I'm surprised it didn't end their from me being in shock. Still determined to keep going in the same direction I kept moving and warped past a giant white glowing planet (the moon), there was blackness for a moment then rocks like an asteriod belt then I came upon giant dark orange (slightly red) planet with brown stripes or shadows, I felt like where-ever I was couldn't be real because this planet was surrounded by other small planets. (I thought it might be Saturn and when I saw this www.universetoday.com/15427/moons-of-saturn it made sense as that looks pretty much like what I saw) It's strange though I didn't think of Moons as Moons, but as Planets from my perspective. I guess I didn't consciously expect moons around other planets other than our own, and didn't know they were moons because to me they were so gigantic.

Anyway, I reached some type of border where a gigantic golden energy stone dragon with fiery eyes was sitting, it was the size of a state and just laying down and looking forward, sorta like the Sphinx in Giza. I was still on my mission to continue and not stop so I passed it.

Further on I saw a Gargoyle the size of a city block that looked like a dog. It looked almost exactly like "Bronx" in the cartoon Gargoyles (2.bp.blogspot.com/-oMRGoFEGhh0/TY__r2rTTII/AAAAAAAAIDw/HvXn5MOnbc0/s1600/Bronx+001.jpg) except that it had dark blue leather skin and curled horns, like the start of a ram's horns pointing out towards it's mouth and was sitting on a giant floating platform. The background of the area of space looked like a trippy Windows screen saver -- full of purple, pink and blue energy. I tried to continue on but I was drawn into it as if it was trying to pull me in it's mouth and bite me. I started fighting it with spinning energy -- imagine if you stood with your arms and hands raised and out to your sides and clapped your hands together, it felt like that only with manipulating energy. Like circular spinning energy strings were coming off me at it. I started pushing it away and another identical giant dog of hell came at me and bit me. At that point I was pulled back into my body.

I'm back in the real now, trying to hold on to the real; cause at this point I'm a little freaked out. My legs and feet felt like they were on fire, while I feel my chakras still vibrating with the same emotional energy I had when I rose through the planes -- but now I'm in the real. Still slipping focus between my states of consciousness I started hallucinating scrawled spooky handwriting above the closet on the wall before I was able to fully ground my self in the here now.

So that's all I got. Other to note that afterwards I remember sensing a distinct powerful male humanoid like presence that was with me the entire way. I felt like it was assisting me or guarding me in some way, but couldn't really see "him". I also felt a "smaller" female presence and possibly two to three other humanoids faintly.