Self-Initiation based on A:.A:. Curriculum
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In my opinion, this is a 100% laudable endeavor! The level of rigor and maturity in what you wrote is a good sign that this will be successful.
Note: I'm also going it alone, as it were; i.e., not a member of any Thelemic organization. My current practice is similarly solitary -- I'm working with Jason Newcomb's New Hermetics program, which I see as kind of a "lower octave" of the A.'.A.'. inner work. I haven't put in a tenth of the effort that you seem to have into keeping the program both objective and free of self-aggrandizement. A spur to action for me, perhaps!
Whatever your results, I suggest that you write some kind of published report on the experience (a book? an article for IAO131's journal?) so that other self-initiators can reap the benefits of your struggle.
The only advice I can give would be to highly recommend Jim's book, The Mystical and Magical System of the A.'.A.'. if you haven't already read it. I've heard some good things about George Mortimer's Probationer's Handbook (lulu.com), but I haven't read it. I'm looking forward to hearing more about J. Daniel Gunther's Initiation in the Aeon of the Child: The Inward Journey (not available until January 2009, according to amazon), which isn't an explicit A.'.A.'. training manual, but the description says some interesting things...
Best of luck!
Steve
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Thanks for the recommends on books. I have been looking at The Mystical and Magical System... for a little while, but so far the cheapest copies I've found weigh in at around $1500.00, which is well beyond what I can afford. However, I keep my eyes open for feasible methods of getting such books, such as pdf versions, or a random stroke of amazing luck, so we'll see if that particular boon will find its way into my arsenal.
As for publishing, I fully intend to, inclusive of diary excerpts, exam essays, and a section dealing with my conclusions once the program has been carried off through intiation into the Adept grades. If I determine any of them to be of sufficient value for other students, I may also append some of the rituals which I have and will throughout the Work compose.
Of course, this publication would be utterly irrelevant until the program has succeeded, hence, it will not be of much priority until after attaining to the HGA. After this is done, I can start to sift through what should be published, and explore avenues for publication.
Again, thank you for your thoughts, and I wish you well on your labors, as well.
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Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law.
Thanks to all who have shown support for my endeavours. It just goes to show that, even without joining a materially manifest order, us self-initiators still find the support of others on the path, and the guidance of our brothers/sisters in the Great Work.
I still invite any questions, comments, or suggestions regarding this work, given that the results so far have been entirely positive.
Thanks again to all.
Love is the law, love under will.
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Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law.
A few updates and comments on the Path.
While I neglected to mention it in the original post, the night before I made my declaration, I signed a copy of the Oath of a Probationer.
I skipped the formal Student grade on the basis of having previously passed the exam as administered by one of the A:.A:. lineages. At that time, I was prepared to be accepted as a Probationer by a Neophyte in Las Vegas. I was unable to arrange to travel to see him, as a result of financial difficulties, and as a result of an acknowledgement in myself that I was not yet ready to devote as much time to the Work as I beleived should be applied. It was my opinion then, as it is now, that in order to even try to qualify as a worthwhile Probationer, I needed to devote time to perform two exercises, daily, minimum, plus performing Adorations from Resh, and saying Will at meals. In short, I demanded of myself an absolute immersion in the Work, as I still do. The difference now is that I know how to balance such devotion with meeting my mundane/profane obligations, as well.
When I signed the Probationer Oath, it was a profound experience. I did not feel the same after signing as I did before. One might even call the feeling one of transformation. I read Liber Causae, in the Circle, after banishing and consecrating, and signed the Oath thereafter, essentially making the act into a ceremonial one.
Since then, I've been faithfully performing Resh, doing regular asana work, scrying in the spirit vision, assuming god-forms, and twice daily practice of at least the Star Ruby and the Star Sapphire, and not-so-faithfully keeping up with saying Will. Other experiments have been inserted as inspiration and opportunity arose. Once asana became steady and easy, I began to add Pranayama to the regimen.
(For those who are just tuning in, see earlier post regarding my prior experience. Many of these exercises are ones with which I am already familiar, though not as well practiced as I feel I should be.)
As an example of the tranformative power of the ceremonial signing of the Oath, let me cite the change I've observed in the Star Ruby. In the past, it was mostly ceremony. I thought I was doing magick, but I wasn't, clearly, judging by the much more profound effects in my environment and my psychology. (I leave out spiritual effects for as ones that can only be verified internally.) I also "see" much more clearly than before, such as visually detected the essential forms of the Iynges, Teletarches, etc, as well as perceiving the full form of all figures drawn during the rituals.
All in all, the visuals in past works we largely in my head. The present set of workings, whether imagined or not, is projected outside of my mind, so that I can perceive it as external. (I have not yet been able to test whether others can perceive what I do in these workings, so I can't rule out the possibility of self-programmed hallucinations.)
In short, even so small a ritualized self-initiation created profound change in the results of my work. This encourages me to stick rigidly to the A:.A:. curriculum as outlined in Liber 185 and elaborated in One Star in Sight and the Mystical and Magical System of the A:.A:.
Perdurabo!
Love is the law, love under will.
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I live smack in the middle of the midwest with not a Thelemite in site. Everything I have had to do has been self-study. In the pursuit of that, a fellow Theurgist and I created a message board where we try to pursuit threads on self-work. Honestly it was originally going to be around the AA system, but we understand that one cannot really be in the AA unless it is official, so we do what we can using what is out there and available - The site is heurgy.10.forumer.com if interested.
This forum however I should note is obviously my main source of non-book knowledge, as this is the closest I can currently get to being in the company of Thelemites.
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Re: Self-Initiation and "Grades".
I am working on Self-Initiation, as this thread obviously evidences. I am using a Graded System to guide my work. However, neither myself nor any other Self-Initiate can claim ANY Grade. For us, the use of the Grades is to sign post a path and safe-guard our work against imbalance. For the past 10 months, I've been using the A:.A:. 0=0 curriculum as my guide, but I am not a Probationer. Nor shall I become a Neophyte, thereafter. I just use the A:.A:. system to guide me to work in a progressive manner, rather than allowing myself to stagnate in a worthless cycle of repetitive exercises.
Initiation is a means of unfolding the self, and developing the consciousness to higher forms of awareness. I'm sure that a great deal could be added to that definition, but defining initiation is not the point of this post.
To be a Neophyte, one must be initiated by an Order in which Neophytes exist. There is an endless sea of Self-Initiates who claim to be 8=3, but such claims are clearly in error. If they were really so well advanced, they would bother bragging about it or assuming a title to validate their egos.
For the Orders, Grades and Ranks have a definite meaning and purpose, as they regulate and guide the interaction of students and teachers, making certain that each is qualified for her place.
For the Self-Initiator, the Grades serve a private purpose, but they have no place in public. To claim ANY Grade seems, to me, to be an ego thing, asking for validation, or boasting of accomplishments that can, at best, be subjectively verified.
Without membership in the real A:.A:., you cannot be absolutely sure you've really met the requirements of a given grade to the satisfaction of the A:.A:.
Such is my theory, anyway. Take it or leave it as you will.
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P.S.- this post is in response to the numerous individuals who claim exalted grades without the authority of a real Order. I disagree vehemently with such claims, and hereby affirm that, barring initiation at a later date into a real lineage, I have no claim on any Grade.
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In response to the last post
I agree, an ego trip to claiming what grade you are is absolutely unnecessary . People who do that, will NEVER ...ABSOLUTELY NEVER CROSS THE ABYSS!!!!
But it is the spirit of Horus and the spirits that initiate that will guide any worthy magician to the next grades..
Because Ipissimus grade, is also somewhat of self-initiation and I believe jones and crowley made the A.'. A.'. a self practicing order, and really the golden dawn is as well.. You can initiate anyone as far as sex magick goes.. You can provide a working to find partners for that type of initiation..
I believe that the A.'. A.'. can be a true order within the self. YOU DO NOT NEED a tutor ahead of you to help you. It's the work you do that advances you, not a human who is one grade ahead of you
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King -
"What I do not need is suggestions to find a real A:.A:. member, put up with the hassle of going to see them for my initiation, and all that. I self-initiated to Probationer, and the ceremonial method I used produced a profound effect in my consciousness. "
I'd like to give you a piece of advice, but because of your situation, I'll leave it up to you to figure out how and if you can make it happen.
If I had to describe my own path, I would say that I haven't intended to initiate alone at all, but instead that I've seemed to generate initiatory ordeals for myself in spite of being alone. It hasn't been easy by ANY stretch of the imagination. One thing that I'd say you could deeply deeply benefit from (on the verge of saying "need," but holding back) is a real, live person to talk about your experiences with - who knows you, what you're about, that you're generally not crazy, and who is willing to be patient yet firm with you if you begin heading in those crazier directions. Otherwise, if you're already a bit unbalanced when you go looking for help, people tend to think you're just a little bonkers to begin with and stay clear of you. So... even if it's not a tutor ahead of you per se, I'd at least recommend someone who is familiar with what you are trying to do and what can happen...
And if I may hazard a more personal word of advice... Don't dump everything on your wife. Finding some other person to process your struggles and experiences with will relieve the load you may potentially put on her. And it can get heavy.
peace,
Lance
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I don't think once can self-initiate as a Probationer as it is a period of assessment where the order observes your work and determines if it would be better for you to continue the work of the order or to go on to some other type of work. The student grade wasn't really enforced until the College of Thelema came along, most being admitted directly to 0=0 and this is the practice of most lineages.
Self-initiation is certainly a feasible course as most of the A.'.A.'. members out there had to self-initiate themselves through the grades because an instructor passed away or some similar circumstance. The College of Thelema I think was the first case where an adept was able to bring people up through the outer order before passing on where it wasn't a case of self-initiation. For example Karl Germer passed away when Marcelo Motta became a 2=9. Achad's failure was that he never finished the grade work after crossing the Abyss and many of his lineage no longer practice Thelema but a variation with some obvious differences like Harry Smith. Jim & David & company had a benefit that no other had and are blessed in that regard.
Some lineages are people who were cut contact with by their superiors, including Achad and Russell. The best example is the Brazilian A.'.A.'. with Frater Zaratustra, Euclydes de Almeida, probably the senior initiate of the A.'.A.'. on the planet. He was a Zelator when Motta cut contact with him and he continues the work.
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Youre right about marcello motta. His lineage now Call themselves thelemites, but they are not realizing that they might need to do this..
Crowley said that If there is no instructor around, you can Perform a Necromantic working to evoke the dead and past instructors and past masters..
I.E in Liber ABA book 4 he gave the example with A.E. Waite Summoned Apollonius of Tyana. A.E. Waites Book of Black Magic and pacts will instuct someone to peform Necromantic Rituals In a "Golden Dawn" style format.I wish that Motta's Lineage Would have done that and All other Lineages that linked away from a past master
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King -
I wanted to clarify my comment on self-initiation as a Probationer... what I meant is that it isn't an initiatory degree, so all you need to do is sign the oath, it doesn't require preliminary work unless you want to do the student grade that is...
Which Motta lineage are you referring to? I wouldn't call the Equinox editors the Motta lineage by any means. Some worked with Harry Smith, some with Helen Parsons-SMith after the falling out with Motta. Motta's students proper are guys like Bersson & Eales. I can't think of anyone who has read & intellectually accepted Liber AL who doesn't call themselves Thelemite.
As far as linking to a dead master... LOL... the idea is to use their WORKS, as in their books etc. in order to continue the work. Not literally raise the dead. The Equinox team have had an UNPRECEDENTED access to Crowley's system, including access to Crowley's notebooks on the A.'.A.'. and its system. They've learned the keys to some rituals that have been published & unpublished that were thought lost or been able to reconstruct Crowley's intent better than anyone else before. Most people have had to go on and develop their versions of lost documents or fill the material in with their own ideas etc. like the Robes of the Grades. I am not saying Liber Vesta was Crowley's intent but it is based on Crowley's notes nonetheless! The robes I've seen are also very different from those presented in Jim's book. The 0=0 robe was a black version of the white robe, as written by AC in Magick WIthout Tears actually! The later robes had eliminated the hood in favour of nemysses with different colours. Neophyte was a plain black robe with a purple nemyss and the zelator was a purple robe with a green nemyss (not as gaudy as it sounds). The colours of the nemyss reflected the next stage while the robe was the grounding of the energies of the grade itself.
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@frateruranus said
"I wanted to clarify my comment on self-initiation as a Probationer... what I meant is that it isn't an initiatory degree"
I disagree. Though the ceremony is simple, it is of enormous impact. An actual linkage is formed that the most sensitive can directly perceive. In some ways, it is the most important of all the initiations, and perhaps the only one that is completely essential.
"They've learned the keys to some rituals that have been published & unpublished that were thought lost or been able to reconstruct Crowley's intent better than anyone else before. Most people have had to go on and develop their versions of lost documents or fill the material in with their own ideas etc. like the Robes of the Grades."
That line was probably aimed at me. But our descriptions of the robes came straight from Crowley. I'm willing to admit that he may have had different initial views but, as of the late 1920s, what I've published were his descriptions.
"The robes I've seen are also very different from those presented in Jim's book. The 0=0 robe was a black version of the white robe, as written by AC in Magick WIthout Tears actually!"
The Probationer robe is the one place that so-called Liber Vesta actually got it right. It's white. Whoever showed you a black one simply didn't know what they were talking about.
Now, people can choose to wear whatever they want as far as I'm concerned. I will, however, resist them taking what they've made up and calling it authentic.
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No, that line wasn't aimed at you. I've seen pictures that confirm the robes you describe as well. It was a general comment is all.
As far as the black robe for the 0=0 it was a lineal change, I wasn't told it was Crowley's design but referred to MWT. The source was legitimate A.'.A.'. though.
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I meaning bersson linage. I give his lineage credit, they are loyal. But I feel they might need to have an open mind as to what really went on.
The motta folks to have unprecedented access to crowleys documents, I think they should "spread the wealth" I'm not asking for Socialism lol. I'm just asking that everyone can benefit from what they have access too. Thats why I discredit them. The holy knowledge can be found by raising the dead..
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King -
@Kingsolomon said
"I meaning bersson linage. I give his lineage credit, they are loyal. But I feel they might need to have an open mind as to what really went on.
The motta folks to have unprecedented access to crowleys documents, I think they should "spread the wealth" I'm not asking for Socialism lol. I'm just asking that everyone can benefit from what they have access too. Thats why I discredit them. The holy knowledge can be found by raising the dead..
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King"Actually, MOTTA had unprecedented access. I don't think anybody inherited all of Motta's papers though Bersson does have a huge chunk of them. It also has to be remembered though that the Motta lineage has their own interpretation of the A.'.A.'. and it's work that isn't necessarily in congruence with Crowley's version anymore. Motta's commentaries were "corrections" to some of Crowley's writings or were meant to reveal what he felt, in his experience, were blinds that Crowley inserted in order to keep his Oaths.
I don't think you should discredit them by any means. The Pittsburgh group has many, many fine Magicians in their ranks like Frater Zeus and Frater Zain, two men who have my deepest respect and admiration. I don't know many of the others as the crew seems very different from my time there what with some having drifted away or moved to other parts of the country.
As to spreading the wealth of materials though, you are asking about unpublished A.'.A.'. rituals & documents. Materials never meant to be published by any means. Many of the things Motta had access to he didn't necessarily make copies of and these became oral teachings in his lineage, and therefore unverifiable as having come from Crowley. You want the materials though, join the order. Even then, if you have formed a legitimate link with the order and whether you have maintained contact or not, through your superior breaking contact with you or you with them, the materials will come into your possession if your aspiration is pure. Many high initiates of Motta's line are no longer with Motta's lineage so to speak and they inherited the same materials...