What meaneth this, o prophet? AHA!

oldfriend56

Hello to the community here and a warm 93. If you do not find it too obnoxious, I would like to share, as honesty as I can, an experience that happened to me almost 9 years ago that was very thelemic in nature - and one of the insights at that time had to do with one of the most in your face - understand me if you dare - verses in the book of the law. "76. 4 6 3 8 A B K 2 4 A L G M O R 3 Y X 24 89 R P S T O V A L. What meaneth this, o prophet? Thou knowest not; nor shalt thou know ever. There cometh one to follow thee: he shall expound it. But remember, o chosen one, to be me; to follow the love of Nu in the star-lit heaven; to look forth upon men, to tell them this glad word."

Specifically, what was revealed to me was that simple and glad word that reveals the 'riddle' of the text.

Now please I understand I am only sharing with you the experience of this while not claiming that it is actually true with a capitol T. I just thought it would be fun to share it here and see what comes of it.

So! on with my story and some context before I tell you what was revealed to me. I have a extremely unimpressive magickal career, and to be honest, really never that much interested in practicing ceremonial magick. I was deeply drawn to Liber al over 20 years ago however - and of course love knowing or discovering any occult secrets or knowledge - but my interests were always more philosophical, alchemical and never found that much of a personal need to invoke often. I did have one or two initiations however, and heaps of interesting experience in my life - but really never knew exactly what I was doing prior to this experience. So it was indeed my surprise when I found myself having an experience in which i completely crossed the abyss. I can assure you, inside of the experience, it had absolutely nothing to do with any level of skill I have (because if it did i would not have crossed) - it was HIGHLY intense, i could feel the 'danger' of the passage about me - and all I could do was completely surrender to it and I can only attribute pure grace to the success of that experience. and hope to never go through that again

The experience lasted three months, beginning it's cycle on the solstice and lasting until the following spring. Everyday. Every night. Massive amounts of syncronicity every waking moment, sometimes so extreme it was comical. I had absolutely no idea what I was doing and at one point I felt such a surge of cosmic love I had a very genuine concern that I was disappear, physically, from the face of the earth. I did the best I could to keep the energy grounded, but after 3 months, could no longer sustain the experience and crashed. ouch. it took a few years to recover from that.

It one sense you could say it was a classical kundalini awakening - in another sense you could aslo say it was a classic manic -depressive episode. However I am not manic depressive and have not had anything like that occur before or since.

So... the main component of the experience, crossing the abyss - lead me into a state I can only describe as pure objective consciousness - which I can describe as the perception and understanding between objective consciousness, subjective consciousness, and mysterious consciousness. I was given a number tool with which I could use to understand what was happening to me later. I had beautiful experiences that showed me the union of what i was receiving being held secret in different systems of religion - mainly buddhism, christianity, judaism, islam, hindusim, Taoism - and then Thelema.

The 'download' i received has much to do with my life and professional work to this very day - and it was a surprise to me to learn that this tool has very practical purposes, especially around technology. I am not going to get into that here, just want to point out that this was the main download - understanding small little verses in liber al was a small component of the experience.

The main insight was really understanding, experiencing the distinctions between TRUE, FALSE, and MYSTERY (each chapter of liber al, in the experience, supported each distinction)

The main key of getting this insight was of course integrating 'mystery' and the profoundness of 'mystery'.

and it was very highly entertaining at the time, when *"76. 4 6 3 8 A B K 2 4 A L G M O R 3 Y X 24 89 R P S T O V A L. What meaneth this, o prophet? Thou knowest not; nor shalt thou know ever. " *appeared to perfectly highlight (in a very humorous way) MYSTERY or UNKNOWN. The meaning of the verse is just simply UNKNOWN - and understanding the dynamic of MYSTERY or NOT or UNKNOWN is a very dynamic aspect of our psyche's that for the most part, is entirely unknown to us. I became aware of how throughout my life my own unconscious reactions to MYSTERY produced hordes of delusion and false interpretation. That to be still and present with the eternal mystery that will always remain that continually delivers to us both true and false - is a very sacred road to travel on indeed.

So according to the experience, the glad word that is expounded which explains this riddle is simply MYSTERY. That's it. I can personally vouch that it is indeed a very glad word to behold in light of it's higher meaning.

Now one cannot claim to have such an insight of course without going through the ordeal of the verse, which is " There cometh one to follow thee: he shall expound it." without of course questioning "sheesh, am I that obnoxious to actually think this book is referring to me?" and to be honest, I think that's just part of the humor of liber al. I'm not really interested being that person if there is any validity to what I experienced, and really not claiming to have the ultimate interpretation. Ironically, i just note that the simplicity of the interpretation does appear to follow the predictions of what Crowley suggested it would be.

Okay, so there is my honest share. It's an experience, not a claim (other than a claim about an experience . But it is very valuable and meaningful to me, and is also very practical in real world affairs just as much as it is in inner world affairs.

Still hoping though that some here will rip it to shreds, strike hard and lo, and deliver me from any shackles of delusion that my psyche may bare.

Lotsa Love,
56

Bereshith

You know, if I were you, I wouldn't ask anyone to tear it to shreds.

Because it's possible, but also possibly entirely without merit or purpose unless you simply need "it" to prove to you that it can, which I don't recommend. Do you really *need *it to be challenged? - to watch it challenge itself...?

If you yourself have struck a balance between the crazy and the sane, if you're happy and working and playing well with others in your daily life, I'd just... walk circumspectly... here where others are less complete in working through their projections. Me included.

It's like asking to be made a pariah. You may like to return under a different screenname.

FWIW

oldfriend56

lol - u have a point there!

However, it's a polite request. Certainly no one has to participate if they wish not to. and worst case scenario my example could prove to be helpful to a younger neophyte as what mistakes to avoid making. And why not extend an opportunity to a brother93 to help him remove himself of any possible delusion? I quite enjoy having my delusions stripped away.

Nothing would erase that which remains.

"Yet there are masked ones my servants: it may be that yonder beggar is a King. A King may choose his garment as he will: there is no certain test: but a beggar cannot hide his poverty."

i admit I approach the discussion with a sportsman philosophy.

Bereshith

Do what thou wilt....

Tag.

Now you're it.

Happy Halloween.

oldfriend56

lol. happy halloween to you to!

Avshalom Binyamin

If every time I said something that was worthy of criticism, I had to return to the forum with a different screen name... well...

The OP doesn't strike me as a victim of serious delusions, so the usual advice reserved for the weekly "I am Crowley's next incarnation" seems not to apply, IMHO.

OP -- we all get lots of these little revelations and ideas. Sometimes we write them down in our journals, never to see the light of day. Sometimes we share them. Sometimes they offer minor insights; sometimes they don't.

My main criticism is the use of the term "crossing the abyss". Crossing the abyss isn't the same as "going to a different realm in our minds" or "having a crazy experience". Crossing the abyss is something way beyond that, with a very specific meaning and context.

oldfriend56

@Avshalom Binyamin said

My main criticism is the use of the term "crossing the abyss". Crossing the abyss isn't the same as "going to a different realm in our minds" or "having a crazy experience". Crossing the abyss is something way beyond that, with a very specific meaning and context."

oh i get you there for sure. It's one of my own main criticisms, yet I cannot deny the actual experience and what was revealed to me - and crossing the abyss was part of that revelation (and what it actually separates)

at the end of the day, the thing for me is to just continually test the 'hypothesis' of what I wrote above. The odd thing was that as the experience was happening to me, I had to battle all sorts of judgements, ideas - the grand daddy was that simply I was insane and lost my mind. What is intriguing is that the download I received was an actual tool to help me discern my own delusions from what was 'objective' from the experience. Right now, what I share here is still in the 'mystery' category for me.

I guess part of my intention being here too is just to get some feedback from a niche group who practices and enjoys this sort of process. I am currently not involved in any order and do not really have a circle of friends of like minds to share this with.

I really appreciate the feedback! thank you.

Corvinae

Strike hard and low??

You are asking to get struck.

Well, then that is interesting to me.....

If I understand this correctly, you had a most excellent experience, one in which you were given information.....

And you want to have it invalidated......

I cannot do that, I don't really care too truthfully....

I will share something else though....

Not to long ago, my father lied and did some terrible things, things that could jail my husband, and make me loose my home. My father, for all of my years....has been the embodiment of do what thou wilt.....to the co Porte peril of all his.kin.

So when my father came to my home, and tried more games and lies on me, I had had enough. In between cur sings and evil eyes at me, in front of my kids.....he asked me to whip him, to help him off with his shirt so I could beat him....

I told him to get out of my home, and to leave me alone.

My father also believes that he has been given the key to the mystery, that he has special I sights,......but he never, ever shared them. With anybody.

He has a masters degree, but never wanted to work, never to give a hand up, never help his kin or neighbors....

IMO he is the perfect poster boy for the black brotherhood....of selfishness, debauch, and dare I say it...evilness.

So, I won't rip you to shreds,
But I will ask,
What have you done with this great gift?

When I receive gifts I do my best to share as much as possible with my Brethern. I used to be a miserable, mean hearted SOB, but when I had my encounter, I was physically transformed and to think back to how I used to be, is like another world...completely incomprehensible.

oldfriend56

@Veronica said

What have you done with this great gift?

When I receive gifts I do my best to share as much as possible with my Brethern. I used to be a miserable, mean hearted SOB, but when I had my encounter, I was physically transformed and to think back to how I used to be, is like another world...completely incomprehensible."

WOW!! what a absolutely beautiful response! To answer your question honestly, yes I have been putting these gifts to very good use indeed - and believe I am in service to the best of my ability at this current time. My main work has been focusing on the more practical applications of this gift I was given, so that it may be shared more frequently and become useful to all, independent of any philosophical or religious leaning.

Lavir

@ldfriend56 said

In Liber HAD it is written:
"7.Let the Aspirant apply himself to comprehend Hadit as the perfect, that is Not, and solve the mystery of the numbers of Hadit and his components by his right Ingenium." [ED: emphasis mine].

So, whetever what you discovered is "true" in the absolute sense and if it's really the solution of it or not, it doesn't really matter for what it concerns your individuality. What it matter is that the "solution" means something for you and have had an impact on you (naturally this doesn't mean that all "solutions" will really matter as such, the point of the matter is always in the well known motto: "success is your proof").

In substance, while it can matter in the objective sense a "real" solution (in the absolute sense) of the verse, it matters more for what it concerns the "here and now" of the individual his/her own personal solution and if that has really had an impact in his/her growth or not and for his/her own Will. At last this in the view of the comprehension of Hadit as in Liber HAD (as an example of this).

As for the "absolute solution" I personally think that it will pass some time before someone will be able to solve it in that way, and maybe it will coincide with something concrete also of an "external" nature. These are naturally suppositions, nothing more, but I don't think it will be something coming in the very near future.

Lavir

@Avshalom Binyamin said

I will add then that "Crossing the Abyss" to be really such must be done on all planes. For example I think anybody that is serious on comprehending philosophy to the core, understanding all points of view in there etc. for real (in a "Stanislavskij" way, so to speak) will "Cross the Abyss" intellectually, but that will not mean that s/he will have "Crossed the Abyss" as such.

The same is true for every other grade, etc. and Crowley was very attentive on trying to make this point across. For this, for example, I don't think that the "oath of the Abyss" means as such until you are not ready to accept it fully.

I think, for example, that also the word "interpreting" in that same oath is a sort of "misnomer" (or maybe a trap, can be? Or maybe, more simply just a misunderstanding of the meaning made from a too literal approach coming from the reader), since if you are really there then there's nothing to interpret because everything is already a dealing of God with your soul (at that point and probably always, but when you are there you understand it for real, instead of just, for example, intellectually); if you "interpret" (in the literal sense of the word) then you are just providing a filter in there. I can be mistaken, naturally, but that's my view of it at this point.

Bereshith

[edit]

oldfriend56

@Lavir said

In Liber HAD it is written:
"7.Let the Aspirant apply himself to comprehend Hadit as the perfect, that is Not, and solve the mystery of the numbers of Hadit and his components by his right Ingenium." [ED: emphasis mine].

So, whetever what you discovered is "true" in the absolute sense and if it's really the solution of it or not, it doesn't really matter for what it concerns your individuality. What it matter is that the "solution" means something for you and have had an impact on you (naturally this doesn't mean that all "solutions" will really matter as such, the point of the matter is always in the well known motto: "success is your proof")."

Yes - i agree with your wisdom here and is pretty much the direction i lean - which doesn't make the verse any less mysterious for anyone else ironically enough.

i think part of the union of the alchemy of the book in terms of the aspirant, to me personally, is to unify what you call the 'absolute sense' with the 'personal'. Both are actually absolutes and can function as absolutes and are one, nay, are none

The alignment of those two are quite shocking - i can swear to this only from personal experience.

As for the "absolute solution" I personally think that it will pass some time before someone will be able to solve it in that way, and maybe it will coincide with something concrete also of an "external" nature. These are naturally suppositions, nothing more, but I don't think it will be something coming in the very near future."

well I am sure we can agree, that verse in liber al still is quite mysterious none the less

Bereshith

Swing the door wide open. The dog, unfed, has sought a new home.

oldfriend56

@Aegis said

lol - What meaneth this?

oldfriend56

@Lavir said

I will add then that "Crossing the Abyss" to be really such must be done on all planes. For example I think anybody that is serious on comprehending philosophy to the core, understanding all points of view in there etc. for real (in a "Stanislavskij" way, so to speak) will "Cross the Abyss" intellectually, but that will not mean that s/he will have "Crossed the Abyss" as such.

The same is true for every other grade, etc. and Crowley was very attentive on trying to make this point across. For this, for example, I don't think that the "oath of the Abyss" means as such until you are not ready to accept it fully.

I think, for example, that also the word "interpreting" in that same oath is a sort of "misnomer" (or maybe a trap, can be? Or maybe, more simply just a misunderstanding of the meaning made from a too literal approach coming from the reader), since if you are really there then there's nothing to interpret because everything is already a dealing of God with your soul (at that point and probably always, but when you are there you understand it for real, instead of just, for example, intellectually); if you "interpret" (in the literal sense of the word) then you are just providing a filter in there. I can be mistaken, naturally, but that's my view of it at this point."

Well I have no idea how many abysses i crossed on what worlds or what have you. I took no oath to cross, but did make it my intention to surrender across it once it was apparent it was happening. Again, I can't take any credit for that and at the time felt I was the most unqualified person in the world to be experiencing what I was experiencing and being shown what I was being shown.

I'm not making this an interpretation of my experience, meaning I am not deconstructing the experience and then assuming it must have been the abyss that I crossed, rather crossing the abyss, facing my greatest fear (losing my mind - going insane) and transcending was just a part of the experience and it was really clear at the time that was what was happening. Then it just lasted for three months, the energy, insight, rapture, and revelation.

I've been more skeptical about the validity of that then anybody - and I accept there is no one who could confirm it.

but I do disagree - I do think that those who have had this experience can recognize when another has as well.

Lavir

@ldfriend56 said

but I do disagree - I do think that those who have had this experience can recognize when another has as well."

What I said was not meant as a way to invalidate or either challenge your experience, at all. They were just my ramblings on what Avshalom wrote, with some other little ramblings on the "Oath of the Abyss".

Also because I'm not in position to invalidate nor yours nor anybody's else experience on this because I never had it and it will be long before I will have to do with it (well, the longer the better - stay away frome me! ).

Bereshith

Absolutely.

But the desire to be incorporated into this group, to have them accept you, interact with you, to not feel diminished and intimidated by you, you have to lie. At least, that has been my experience, and the source of my major malfunction.

I salute you for being able to represent yourself so ably and calmly. I came here at the beginning of the period you describe as "taking several years to recover," and I've made a mess of it all. I'm sick of pretending. My experience was precisely as you describe. The rest has been an attempt to confirm my experiences here - to understand Thelema - to organize my experience according to the gods and whatnot.

The Abyss, and surviving it, on the other side... It's just kind of like - good luck consolidating all that into a coherent liveable system without all the training that should go beforehand. And I struggle with that, because my leap was a leap of love, and the experiences it opened to me have been hellish. I feel betrayed by that which I sought to love most. And it's hard to get help when no one will admit the cause of your need - they don't allow it - cannot conceive it in their wordlview - reject it - bare minimum: cannot speak it.

So, I don't know how your relationship will evolve here. I hope you are able to be incorporated into the flow. You seem to be already more balanced. I hope you won't lose that when the more precise and ruthless come to present their challenges to your apparently outrageous arrogance.

I confess my jealousy at your apparent acceptance. Then again, it's only been a few days, and you haven't tried to drop any authoritative-sounding knowledge on anyone yet.

But... I am interested in what you say you may be able to offer the world - especially regarding discernment. I'm sure I wouldn't mind trying it.

Ignore my desire to leave. I find myself not allowed. Do you understand that? Perhaps you do.

Bereshith

[and immediately into my office walks a student I am made painfully aware I have no idea how to help...]

Of course...

oldfriend56

@Aegis said

But the desire to be incorporated into this group, to have them accept you, interact with you, to not feel diminished and intimidated by you, you have to lie. At least, that has been my experience, and the source of my major malfunction. "

hmmm, lie? sometimes it's better to replace the lying with just art and theatre. i cannot imagine any situation or environment of proposed higher awareness where lying would be integral to a process of assimilation. Indeed, one of the most clearest realizations I had during that time is the power of integrity and honesty.

Yet, at the same time, we can also be confronted with a truth that sometimes can contradict this - which, and I am paraphrasing an old hebrew saying "To tell the truth to someone who is unable to comprehend it is the same thing as lying to them."

what is one to do then?

My experience of crossing left me with a responsibility to share, in some sense, what i learned. Sometimes this is done in a hidden fashion, sometimes quite openly. Understanding the subtle dynamics of communication, the natural conflict of idea that exists in the mind (and especially below the abyss) is very important. Below the abyss, the conflict of idea rages humanity, it truly is a 'war in heaven' and the tragedy is we identify ourselves as the natural ideas in conflict. Above the abyss, the conflict of idea is quite harmonious, and is in service to humanity's progress and is truly a 'win win' sport.

You can organize your experience in relationship to True (what is this?) False (WOW WHAT IS THIS?) and Mystery(there is no answer to what this is). To understand mystery, we must understand 'false' other than an appeal to it's opposite (not true). You can organize your experience in relationship to the macro and micro 'win win'. I use 'win win' to define any form of unity, both in a practical sense and an abstract 'inner' sense.

You probably dont need to integrate with Thelemites just because you crossed the abyss. If you crossed the abyss, your in service to all and these people here are the least likely to need your help

to tell the truth to someone unable to comprehend it is the same as lying to them. yes?

So, I don't know how your relationship will evolve here. I hope you are able to be incorporated into the flow. You seem to be already more balanced. I hope you won't lose that when the more precise and ruthless come to present their challenges to your apparently outrageous arrogance. "

i will be sorely disappointed if the ruthless and more precise attacks do not come. as brothers we fight, yes? over the conflict of idea? either way I win, either through exposing my delusions or further understanding core truths hard won in the 'battle'.

Social media has given us quite a global battlefield for the conflict of idea, eh? embrace it, it's one of the best games we have and from my POV, it's a game of pure love and win.

I confess my jealousy at your apparent acceptance. Then again, it's only been a few days, and you haven't tried to drop any authoritative-sounding knowledge on anyone yet. "

how is this?

all problems are solved effectively and for certain when all sides win. internally and externally.

But... I am interested in what you say you may be able to offer the world - especially regarding discernment. I'm sure I wouldn't mind trying it.

Ignore my desire to leave. I find myself not allowed. Do you understand that? Perhaps you do."

Understand True, False, and Mystery. *consider; Nuit may be True, Hadit may be false, and Ra - Hoor may be Mystery. (also wrote that to ruffle some feathers and creates some sparks of intimate fire
Understand it is the true will of all to win. understand 'win' as obtainment or attainment. understand above the abyss is pure win win. below the abyss pure win lose. understand the conflict of idea is a big set up for getting humanity to play a win win game as a whole.

that's all i got

come at me bro'

Hurry! I may not be able to stay around that long! Only came by for a quick powwow.