My experience of forced withdrawal, Liber Resh...
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@ThelemicMage said
"Well, a long time ago I realized that pain from fire, (actual Fire), withdrawals, etc.. is not the actual reason for the pain -- it is secretly tied to an emotional pain and Nature tries to teach you to get used to it."
I see you know the secret, but you have yet to understand.
@ThelemicMage said
"Let me start off by telling you that I seriously find doubt in the fact that if you imbibed 500 mils of M or H a day, and stopped cold turkey, you would not be in severe pain. The flow of natural Water, (check 777,) is so strong with this plant, it would not let you flow that far out of your normal biorhythms without producing a bit of pain, sweating, aching, and an inability to eat. If this were not true, you would be curing people of cancer in less than sixty seconds.. I guarantee it."
See the above.
The reason I began feeling the withdrawals is because the time had come for me to feel that pain.
To let go of the drug.Your BODY IS REBELLING.
As if it were your WILL to take the drug there would be NO NEGATIVE EFFECT.
That is the secret.
There, you happy?
I said it a aloud.@ThelemicMage said
"So, we're past that initial breaking point where neither of us is in on the "big" secret. We've got 3-dimensional, (not even real,) hearts that pump the material manifestation for love and pain. No, no sir. "
See the above.
@ThelemicMage said
"I do dig the rest of your post. Might I suggest something to thee.. buy some "dagga", an herb you can get at quality suppliers, to throw your hash on. It's just that tobacco isn't "meant" to smoke and inhale for ten seconds, and blow out. It's meant to flow through the face and throat, and ever so gently find it's way into the lungs, unless you have any layers of tar on them that is. This will prevent the pain/full feeling/coughing, but it is an unhealthy option, to say the least."
I take my time and knead the hash and tobacco until they are nigh a fine powder.
I normally smoke a bowl of this mixture in the evenings in a wooden bowl in a ceremonial fashion.
I will speak no further of this ritual.@ThelemicMage said
"Smoke a pipe, I do, a few times a day. All-natural and organic tobacco, but I would be hard-pressed to throw hash on it, (unless it was already ash,) and take a nice hit. If I actually take a pull of tobacco and inhale directly like one does cannabis, I end up with some pressure and cough.
"That is entirely natural as hash contains expectorants.
@ThelemicMage said
"
But, as you may know, we are all in human bodies here. The reason for our existence is pain. That is why we are on this forum, pain. The reason we have eyes that only see in three dimensions and skin that we cannot touch someone with a hundred miles away no matter how much we love them, pain.
"I use to think that way, I do no longer.
I am on this forum in an effort to learn how to communicate effectively.@ThelemicMage said
"TW.. I stopped getting "high" when I found my Will and started doing it. Everything flows, including the overcoming of pain and the strengthening of the mind and body."
That is called tolerance.
@ThelemicMage said
"Send me a video of you taking a blow-torch to the face, and I will concede with you that you do have the secret, and are immune from pain.
No doubt. "I want to feel the pain.
I want to be reminded that I am alive and breathing.IT is the GREAT WORK
If you are using Powers
You are not WORKing very hard -
"I am on this forum in an effort to learn how to communicate effectively."
Brother.
Absolutely no negative vibes here, but.. if you are living in three dimensional reality, and you are past the experiences of pain, then your body would no longer work in this olam-set. For it is in this dimension that we are to live life after life to learn to transmute it into nothingness and strength.
I have felt your positive spirit behind all your postings, fair Brother. However, I must say I sense a certain block.. I think you know what it is, but would rather try to convince someone else that either they cannot pick up on it, or that you have no block.
I'll put it aloud in a way that God could say it and anyone could understand: if you have truly trained your spirit-attached body to not experience pain of any kind, (the pain far worse than the thirst of a man in the desert - see Diary of a...,) then your body would cease to function in this sephiroth and you would have already climbed to Yesod.
Very simple. There is no way for a spirit attached to a human body to feel pain in Malkuth by natural order, without the body residing in Malkuth. Conversely: if you have a body in Malkuth, then you still have issues connected with pain that must be resolved in Malkuth, otherwise you would cease to exist where we are!
Now, of course, these states can be brought on my meditation, psychedelics, etc.. however they are temporary, no matter how powerful or permanently life-changing they are. For instance, you can have a terrible addiction to H or M, and if you are seasoned, take a large dose of L, DMT, the Cactus, or 'Cybin, and wake up without tolerance or an addiction.
I feel you have gone so far in meditation and magic, much more so in meditation, (I have been years-ahead psychic since I was seventeen, no need to comment on how I might get my information,) that you somehow shielded yourself with the idea that pain can no longer affect you.
Think about this, .. again, no negativity: weak ones, black brothers, and lying spirits, all throw this gauzy film over them, (that is just threads of pure darkness,) that convinces their conscious selves that they no longer have issues with pain, and that their existence is for experimentation and misleading others, no matter how much pain they might feel, even consciously. Not trying to draw a direct parallel, just stating the fact of truths.
"God" himself says that those who claim the Kingdom is not beautiful are mere liars. -RHK. Noticing that the Kingdom is beautiful is also noticing that the pain one experiences is beautiful and the climbing from sephiroth to sephiroth is respected. In Malkuth, the Earth, the becoming one with and transcending pain is the key goal. The force that moves us to act, react, breathe, eat, sleep, live.
Same with Geburah. Fire is the key power and factor that one must become one with, and transcend, to progress to Chesed. If one has a human body and by some mis-miracle, was thrown even just above Malkuth onto the path of Tau without direct connection to pain/Malkuth existence, one would experience such pain that their spirit may be in some kind of horrible shock for god knows how many eternities.
Not trying to shoot down your dreams or the expectations of yourself. Just stating facts that I would be a lazy bastard and a liar if I didn't put down after I was told by another being in possession of a human body, that they had transcended pain/Malkuth existence "permanently". Again, I stress my blow-torch theory.
This is why: When I eat, say, fifty hits of L without tolerance, I can take a lighter straight to my skin without harming myself. I will never repeat this in person to my family, but tis something my closest friends know of, friends I have been places with that would scare most beings out of the Tree for good.
This is because when on such a dose, most of one's brain is available, and if one is seasoned, one can just use it like muscles connected directly to the higher self and control how the body reacts to stimuli.The CIA, among other organizations, knows this. They have declassified papers on this very thing that were written off as "crazy person" talk, when in fact, they were just stating what they observed about the power of the mind. Think meditating until your body lifts an inch above the ground is something else? That is something I would probably brush off as simple as flicking a lighter.
Even with ALL this, it is just temporary. If I tried the same experiments without complete control of my brain and how it handles the chemical and physical structure of my skin, I would have burn marks all over my body.
Does thou think ye could imbibe a hundred hits of L and sit there normally, say, and talk to a police officer? I have. Please understand, bragging, I am not. Again, I am just stating facts. This is how the Universe works, Universe. I'd think of all people you would know that.
Like I said, send me a video of you taking a simple lighter to the skin for thirty seconds, promise me you are not on psychedelics, and I shall be your disciple, sir.
If you really wish, next weekend, I will dose Ayahuasca/DMT and do the same and send it to thee. I feel, however, it would be null since I was on psychedelics, and people have been burning themselves without harm on acid since the sixties.
Yes, we are talking about this out loud.
Frank
93
93/93 -
Yes, pain.
I feel this pain you speak of.
For you do not understand.
I have already plainly spoken as to who I am.
I am the Spider that Dances with his Body , Mind & Word
A Ninja and a Pirate
Oh, they all ways think I am joking
But the joke is I am all ways serious and sens-ireOf course I have no powers
The Uni Verse does
And I am the Uni Verse
Just as the Uni Verse is MeI do not see it so much as about climbing the tree...
More going up and down up and down up and down...
Pleasure of the aim less winging...Though, really - the question you should be asking your self is...
Does it matter what I have done?
How does that effect the Truth of my words?
Point me to your arbitrary decisions brother!
Let me free you to the WORLD!
OH BOY I AM GETTING FIRED UP HEREAnd look at me a liar, as I said I was going to do something mindless...
SELF-SABOTAGE
( I am very self-aware, I am purposely vomiting out shit, cleaning me up) -
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@ThelemicMage said
"However, I must say I sense a certain block.. I think you know what it is, but would rather try to convince someone else that either they cannot pick up on it, or that you have no block."
I am well aware I have a block...
I do not believe this is it, however this did spark a memory:I was born premature.
I had awoken in the womb, and as I am wont to do:
I acted without thinking,
Drawing in a deep breath,
Filling me lungs with ambiotic fluidI began choking, I began drowning
There was no Light,
Yet something pushed me forward
I crawled and clawed my way out of the womb
Much to the horror of Mother
As I broke on through to the other side... -
Very interesting, fair Dara. However let's give our fellow frater a little credit to fall back on:
The muscle contractions of his Mother's womb, were much, much more his Will than hers. For no matter how much you care for another, when not in "paradise", as some call it, you literally have to "care for", or have more "power" over yourself than anyone else, if not for any other reason than to protect and care for them.
So, those natural contractions of his mother were his subconscious turned conscious will that he ended up illusioning as his arms struggling. Not too far off, Uni.
I must say the exact same thing happened to me at birth. Plus the cord was wrapped around my neck. I must've been really bored in there.
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Aaahhhh yes. .. To be in the chute. Verily..
"I was a young man, I couldn't resist
Started thinkin' it all over, just what I had missed.
Got me a girl and I kissed her and then and then...
Whoops, oh Lordy, well I did it again.
Now I got ten children of my own
I got another child on the way that makes eleven.
But I'm in constant heaven.
I know it's all right in my mind
'Cause I got a little schoolgirl and she's all mine
I can't get through to her 'cause it doesn't permit
But I'm gonna give her everything I've got to give."I like getting almost to the ground before I pull my chute. Pepto bismol helps until then, but takes a little while to kick in. Please tell me you understand this, radiant Dara. It is extremely important!
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Take this to heart I shall.
I've actually been concentrating on this recently, however you have confirmed a message from my Angel on the immediate need for this.
Many thanks and I hope we can continue to do this thing.
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@Uni_Verse said
"
@ThelemicMage said
"I was born premature.
I had awoken in the womb, and as I am wont to do:
I acted without thinking,
Drawing in a deep breath,
Filling me lungs with ambiotic fluidI began choking, I began drowning
There was no Light,
Yet something pushed me forward
I crawled and clawed my way out of the womb
Much to the horror of Mother
As I broke on through to the other side..."
"Uni verse are you saying that you really have a memory of this?
Or are you being metaphorical?over the spring and summer I decided that I wanted to be a Doula, a birth helper of sorts ( because to become a midwife I would need Papers that I am not willing to get, but a Doula doesnt need them). I alleady had much of the anatomy and physiology of the human body under my belt, from my traini gs as a holistic healthcare practioner. I read an awful lot of books about health and prenatal care and early childhood development, and brushed up on that aspect of health over the summer.
My point is, until the "water breaks" and until a baby moves through the birth canal squeezing the little organs, the lungs are always filled with amneotic fluids. One of the major issues with premie babies is that the lungs are one of the last organs to fully develope and the little ones cannot breathe air correctly, deeply on thier own.
i am not saying this to dispute your memory at all, but to possibly help you refine it, as from what I have heard and read many premies have this same " block". This innate feeling that prebirth they were drowning in fluids, when in actuality many were literally drowning on air itself, Or the other risk which is that the chemicals that induced the premature labor also induced the yet unborn to have its first BM while still in the Uterus, and the infant at that point could literally be intaking its own waste, which the very first bm of life is a black tar like substance that can not only be toxic, but by its properities, smothering.
my nephew was born under six pounds, I could have held him in one of my hands. Today he is half the size of his peers, but he has a lions heart and a will like I have never seen!
I was born with lung issues, and asthma has followed me my whole life, I know the sensation of drowning, of suffaction to well, but I also know that it has allowed me to learn to do more with less.
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@Dara said
"
@Veronica said
"and the infant at that point could literally be intaking its own waste, which the very first bm of life is a black tar like substance that can not only be toxic, but by its properities, smothering."The first waste of a baby - the black tar - is pretty formidable stuff. You spend forever cleaning it up. I was a month away from 21 when I had my first child and I turned to the nurse who I'd roped into my room to give me advice and asked with a certain amount of shock "its not all going to be like this, is it!?"
"Tell me about it! OMG I was completely unprepared for the mess it left all over my little boys privates! Ugh I never thought I would get him clean. When my daughter was born, I had the insight to insist she didnt wear a nappy till she had passed it, I was so afraid it would get up into her labia and such with the nappy on.
Imagine that horror inside little sweet lungs! Sad sad sad.
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@Veronica said
"
Uni verse are you saying that you really have a memory of this?
Or are you being metaphorical?"Yes, I really have a (partial) memory of this.
I have been told some of the details by my parents before...
The earlier comment set something off.
Though it was only bits and pieces, my imagination filling in a few holes.
There is still more waiting to be released.This is what I have been told:
I was born premature, how much so I do not recall.
My mother was feeling 'odd sensations' she can not describe, so she went to the doctor.
Sitting down, to wait for the doctor to see her and...
All of a sudden there I was, exiting her womb.
I believe she described it as me "rolling out" of her.
I then spent all, most of a week in intensive care for swallowing something... -
You come from a strong line,
A line that listens
To the subtleYour mother felt this subtle
And knew she had to go
And she got you
Who sences the subtle
And seeks Her outThat is more beautiful then words.
Sounds like her water broke and she didnt know it,
Which would not be nice for you at all
If she hadnt know something was up.So glad you are ok. memories of crappy things like that can be tough when they surface. I sometimes need to check in with myself and remind me that I survived it.
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An interesting side-note: though I was born with my lungs full of fluids and the doctor had to push me back in and unwrap the cord from my neck, I am now six foot three and have size fourteen feet.
I'm not commenting on measured intelligence. All of us mages and mystics are geniuses.
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Oh...
I didn't sleep the entire six days of my experiment from agony. However after I transcended the state I was in, I didn't want to sleep. I still haven't slept since then, yet I feel completely comfortable and alert.
Does this strike anyone as unique to the situation? In my old body, brain, and mind, when I was over these sorts of states, my only motivation and mind-set was for sleep to finally catch up to me. Not after all this Magick and Psychs.
I must thank all of you, and I mean all of you, who have helped me with proper ritual, meditation, body positions, pentagrams, hexagrams, Nuit's sacraments, and anything I might have missed! My heart goes out to you all, HeruRaHa.net.
I believe after the quickening, I just might have the spiritual and physical wherewithall to climb to Yesod.
Frankie
93
93/93 -
If speaking of days awake during experiments with the milk of paradise, yes, I do lay/sit down/or asana, and allow my channels to breathe the purifying fire from the lack of Nuit's rainy flower, and the natural water from my body follows closely behind trying to put them out. It's a rather interesting phenomenon.
Years ago, I might call this beyond insanity. After Thelema, I look at it as an interesting and challenging vacation.. like rock climbing or something. In fact, with the levels I reach when in these states, the stress upon my mind and body is well, well, well past pushing far past my limit in any exercise or work. I swear to Ra-Hoor, the excess fat I had on my a$$ is gone after the six days because of how tight my muscles get when just sitting or walking around if I am not meditating, and I was eating like a bastard the entire time.
Thanks for your question and information, Dara. Gave me some things to think about, especially for next time.
Frankie
93
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@Veronica said
"You come from a strong line,
A line that listens
To the subtleYour mother felt this subtle
And knew she had to go
And she got you
Who sences the subtle
And seeks Her out"Due to my altered state of consciousness I freaked out a bit and kinda reburied most of it beyond vague impressions.
Heh, I had been very stonedI spent the previous week hermetically sealed, some burps are coming out as I slowly open my self up again.
I prefer that, the blissful Silence of Yoga.
I can not resist the whispers of the Beloved to Speak.@ThelemicMage said
"I didn't sleep the entire six days of my experiment from agony. However after I transcended the state I was in, I didn't want to sleep. I still haven't slept since then, yet I feel completely comfortable and alert.
Does this strike anyone as unique to the situation? In my old body, brain, and mind, when I was over these sorts of states, my only motivation and mind-set was for sleep to finally catch up to me. Not after all this Magick and Psychs.
"If you are doing a healthy amount of asana, pranayama, meditation etc;
The body and mind may very well be relaxed, yet still suffering from the insomnia of the withdrawals
Which can last over two weeks depending on the extent of ones use -
I do understand this, but I do this around two to five times a years, so I know at what dose at how often and for how long it takes to have a specific effect upon my mind and body.
If I go from using every other day to every day for two weeks, in the form of tea, (more gets into the body, but takes longer to manifest,) then it takes about a week for the more acute symptoms to go away.
Normally though, I sleep after the last day of the real deal. I still have not slept since the beginning of the experiment.
You know, this experiment led me to anxious boredom enough for me to string up my guitar and take out my drumsticks. So, I'm continuing my learning of the language of the universe.
Feels good man.
Has anyone else noticed that if one uses pure snow, if one is in serious conversation with the universe and their body/mind per usual, that an entire day can go by before one realizes that they have not used more than one bump? If no one understands this, cool.
Just that stuff on the street from years ago, made one wish to do more immediately, and was so moreish that one would spend fifty dollars for a night of rapid heart beat. I think the pure, extracted, natural snow is so kind to humans and animals, that one forgets that other bastardized forms of it are used to get others "high".
Also with alcohol, I find that if I gradually sip maybe three glasses a day, I often forget I drink unless I have a glass right in front of me. In fact, I do forget unless the glass is right there. I suffer no extra stress/shakes/sweats from abstaining from alcohol for days, and it is most enjoyable when smelled and drank at an incredibly slow rate.
Food as well. If one gets out of the moreish feeling that one acquires as a toddler for their mother's breast, (also the cause for addiction, if one includes the idea of the womb as well,) then one does not wish to eat unless their body demands it for proper upkeep for the amount of energy they exert. I eat once a day, sometimes twice.. maybe four ounces of rice, that's all. I went from eating meat just over a year ago, to eating no animal products, to eating just grains and vegetables. I sometimes put corn, beans, and peppers in rice, but this is all I survive on.
I believe that real love of experience happens with others, and can be tuned, (or more often, corrected,) by going inward with meditation, and in-outward with ritual magick. If Thelema can bring a hardcore ex-addict to enjoy poppies throughout the week without addiction, coca the same, and happily and most healthily in his life survives with four ounces of rice a day, then think what it could do hundreds, or even thousands of years from now.
Thank you, Sir Crowley, my guide. Thank you, Aiwass, his guide. And thank you, E****ia, my Angel, for guiding me to these wonderful people who would gladly give the shirt off their back for me, if the situation called for it, as I would gladly do for them in less than a cocinated, wine-blood filled heartbeat.
G'night, travelers.
Frankie
93
93/93 -
In the Spirit of Brotherhood I have been experimenting.
I have found, for my Self,
Opiates detract from the Work.The crux of it, I believe:
Is the effect opiates have on meAn opiate fiend is often pictured as squint y eyed
Barely conscious, in a daze
I, on the other hand, become exuberantIt allows me to ignore fatigue,
The plethora of weaknesses my body representsLike our dear Veronica, issues with breathing and asthma
A weak body in general have plagued me most my life
Doctors all ways warning my Mother how weak and fragile I am
"BE CAREFUL LEST YOU BREAK THE GLASS BOY"Thus a good chunk of my life was spent in a bubble
First of my parents creation,
Then of my own as I purposely separated my self from societyPeople hardly think that is true...
As I dance for hours at end,
Surrounded by people
While chain smoking cigarettes (as a note, I no longer chain smoke)
That I have so many issues with Health & WealthGenuine human interaction,
At first became like a drug;
Causing my ego to enlarge, grow hungry
Yet my body could not handle it
The constant assult of feelings
The intermingling of my beings with others
Seeking to place their hands on meI used opiates to numb my body
Cause it to bow down to my Mind & Will
I did not want to WORK for my HEALTH
Why do ninety mins of Hatha Yoga when you can pop a pill?
Ha! That is what modern society teaches us, no?
BAD HEALTH? TROUBLE MAKING FRIENDS?
THERE IS A PILL FOR THAT!There is a pill for liberation, too
It is called the UNI VERSE -
Universe, very very interesting post.
I might remind you of a very important fact about pills compared to Nuit's sacraments:
The only human-drugs of opiates you will find that are of Nuit are Morphine, Codeine, and Heroin. There's a secret about the double-acetyl group of heroin compared to morphine: it occurs in nature in very small amounts, in pods and in the ground where pods have rotted and time has taken the morphine and converted it into heroin.
The rest of them: oxycodone, hydrocodone, etc.. are so modified out of the loop of nature, that a human would not be able to go through the natural tests of the sacred Water with them -- only drive themselves insane. Instead of referring to the sacraments as "opiates", or "opioids", we should start referring to them as the manifestation of the sacred flow of Water. Check 777.
The man-made opiates are comparable as cocaine is to ecstasy, no joke. If you really wish for the test of time of the sacred Water, and thus the sacred Fire, then you must find a way to procure manifestations of the natural flow of them.
I will admit, that these false-sacraments do test one, but tis like one never goes all the way through the test. If one starts with pills, then goes to H, then back to pills, s/he is so confused about the entire trial that one might think one has gone through the worst and best of it -- when actually one has just dulled one's senses to the actual flow of the natural sacraments themselves.
I am NOT, nor will I ever condone any blah blah...
but if you wish to go through the trial, one must go to the grocery store, buy a few bottles of poppy seed, and grow them themselves. Pills are man's way of turning his head away from nature and on the true test of Nuit's sacraments.
The ego is a horrible thing to misuse, but it sounds like you have been learning to attune it to the flow of your Will. You may want to continue on this cleaner path before attempting the big jump into the ocean off the shore of Xanadu.
"For I have dined on Honeydew,
And drunk the milk of Paradise."93
93/93 -
Ahhh.. sweet, sweet Spain.
I hear the rain stays mainly in the plains.
But yes, oxy-anything, are nasty ones. They feel like man has taken metal pincers and stuck them through the pure spirit of Opium, and in pill form, a human may wrap those pincers around them and suck a little of the goodness that used to be one of Nuit's sacraments.
That's the pharmaceutical industry for you though. Think of it like this: Nuit, and even Ra Hoor Khuit, in a huge way, has left things thusly --
All one needs to do is grow cannabis inside, and live a healthy life. No cops will ever come; never show your crop to anyone, even friends you think you can trust, but that's of personal opinion. Buy your opium off the internet, or grow it completely legally outside most of the year if you wish.
Coca tea is legal, and understandably potent and healthy. Same goes for raw material for ayahuasca, dmt, even mushroom spores.
So, the only reasons one wouldn't be able to procure and commune with any of Nuit's most special sacraments, would be of pure folly to the utmost. Shaking the morphine out of dried pods with base and converting to H and selling it.. etc; Selling your precious crop of cannabis to those who just want to make a buck; same with dmt, mushrooms. Now we come to a fine line that quickly diminishes between this and the pharmaceutical industry. However, you do have Nuit's sacraments, and the industry has mainly shit to shove down people's throats. I guess the line stays there, but is overlooked by the greedy.
Very interesting story, sister Dara. So how was your stay in spain? Did it help with removing feelings of the previous unhealthy situation?
Frankie
93
93/93