Social Phobia
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Mark, I used to have serious social phobia, and am still a bit of a 'nerd'.
I suggest you take this as a lifetime personal challenge. Why not seek help? Nothing wrong with that. Medication? nothing wrong with that. Self help groups? do it. Do whatever you have to to change. Psychologists? Psychiatrists?Don't let this stifle you life.
Can i remind you that 'working with yourself' is the very core of magick. It is difficult, dirty and strenuous work- but this is what separates the sheep from the goats. And this seems like a pretty good start to me.
Q
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While I am not advocating anyone else use "drugs", I had great success using MDMA to overcome anxiety and depression. 1 dose is all it took and it was like i was a new person. The reason being I believe is that MDMA operates as an empathogen and I was able to emotionally open up to myself, diving into the root issues of the past causing me the present pain and discomfort. There is plenty of scientific studies backing up the legitimacy of MDMA for use in healing PTSD, especially with soldiers returning from war. Again, I'm not condoning it's use for anyone but can say personally that it helped me immensely when SSRIs and CBT were worthless. Read up on it here: www.maps.org/research/mdma/
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93,
Drugs are not my thing, but if they work for you I'm happy for you. I won't even take medicinal drugs I don't lke the thought of artificial chemicals, that being sad I might look into the effects of MDMA and search for a natural form.
93's.
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" The reason being I believe is that MDMA operates as an empathogen and I was able to emotionally open up to myself, diving into the root issues of the past causing me the present pain and discomfort."
The same can be done, probably more safely neurochemistry-wise with dissociatives such as ketamine. I'd much rather screw around with glutemanergics than dopamanergics any day. Besides, it's hard to find the pure stuff...
Re: MDMA,
I would be quite careful with the stuff. There's a good possibility that it permanently destroys dopamanergic axons in the brain. Which, needless to say, could leave you feeling permanently more depressed, or with even more neuroses than one had to begin with. This knowledge comes from Dr. Mark Viner's book called 'Suicide'. So you can check there if you'd like, and he lists his own source for the alarming concept.Acid, on the other hand, and mushrooms, can be beneficial methinks.
So far, as I've made it about 1/3 of the way through Diary of a Drug Fiend, it is dawning on me that with the more fiendish substances like stimulants and opiates/opioids, one must simply learn to go all the way with them, sliding down the cliff at ridiculous speeds head-first, and then just before going over the edge promptly stand up and halt! That's the trick with those things, knowing when to stop for a week or a month or even just a couple of days or hours, knowing that it's for the best and that you can resume use whenever you really think it's in your Will to do so.
Sorry for ranting... my own opioid medication has me rather stimulated right now
Blessings,
Chris -
I actually had terrible social phobia, especially around beautiful girls, when I was in high school. After a few-months stint eating straight L and Psilocin mushrooms, my ego was destroyed so that I didn't pay so much attention to myself, and thus to my "symptoms" that slowly abated. I paid attention to others, the sky, nature, etc...
The key to all neuroses is that the individual pays to much attention to themselves. It's like they take a stare into a mirror, but stare a little too long, all during a social situation.
I feel that ego-loss through "classic", tried and true psychedelics, is divinity's pattern's key to these sorts of neuroses.
MDMA is a dirty, unnatural, cheat that jumps from adrenaline to serotonin to dopamine, and actually makes your brain backwash your serotonin into your receptors that it is not supposed to be in. If you wish for more information, just google, "mdma brain damage".
NO OTHER DRUG MAINSTREAM causes brain damage but the amphetamines. Marijuana, LSD, Mushy, Coke, Heroin, has never caused physical damage to the body or brain, (aside from those obsessed with the thrust of a needle.)
Just saying, one might feel within one's self that the sacraments of Nuit and the higher ones that wrought this place from oblivion and hellfire that put these plants here, might be better than bastardized and damaged ones that have proven to be terribly damaging to the human animal and other animals.
Frank
93
93/93 -
Low doses of marijuana almost destroy social phobia, the same way that they aid in meditation. Crowley's "Loosening of the girders of the soul."
High doses of cannabis destroy a situation for one with social phobia. Instead of settling on down with the social groove and energy, they backlap on it because of the thought-loops and all the attention they should be paying on others, instead paid to them and their unexplored deeper psyche. It's not a viscous circle. One must simply, as Timothy Leary would describe it, "Break the Set."
Just as a dog that feels insane to lie down without first walking in a circle around the place they are to lie down, one attempts to master certain thought patterns and control them, all while going in a circle.
Dogs walk in circles as actual ritual, their Magick circle, their protective energy they have laid around them. I don't know how to connect this fully to social phobia. I am actually prepped for meditation and words... words.. words... blargh... words....
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You are describing using a mild psychedelic to alter the set, instead of straight break it. Can be effective, and believe it or not, plenty of people with many neuroses including social phobia use cannabis to get over them.
For instance, if one with social phobia consumes cannabis in very low doses by themselves, during meditation, an established regimen of it, their personality eventually is attracted to the positive thought patterns that have emerged from altering or breaking the set, and their social phobia slowly or quickly dissipates.
Google social phobia and marijuana. Many people with this problem have discovered that they are not the people their parents raised, that they are sexual, communicative beings that they would have been able to find of themselves otherwise.
It's kind of like a mother eagle throwing her children out of the next. Activate that amygdala and get on with getting over whatever obsesses one's thoughts.
You are also describing using an opiate to "fix the new set" that they have wrought within their psyche and thought patterns. Very, very, very, very.... very effective. Nothing like it actually. "Getting a fix" during an intense, hopefully very positive psychedelic experience actually almost fixes or anchors one to that state of mind, so that even in normal situations that they have no problems accessing language or memory skills, (sometimes difficult when "balls to the wall",) they still have that higher connection with Nuit and their Angel.
You do have some secret knowledge, don't you? I think we all saw it, (though some very resentfully, ) in your threads about the restoration of the palace. What else do you know, oh gypsy woman? How can I get my friend out of a dimension where he lost himself, or found himself? How many "Aegipans" and "IO Pan!"s must I recite in trance before I free him from his place with the devil in the land of the dwelling of darkness?
If this is too out there, just tell me to go back to sleep, and I'll go back to sleep.
Frankie
93
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93,
"are you doing any asana work?"
When I do pranayama I start with asana and then move into pranayama whilst still in asana. But the technique of watching the breath which Jim suggested wll be carried out in my asana also, to be honest it's the only way I can meditate without getting distracted.
93's
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93,
I did what you said and drew the 9 of wands (Strength). The queston being "What must I gain in order to overcome my social anxiety?" and obviously it the strength directed towards my aim. Either that or I must identify with the unconscious mind n yesod.
When I pulled the card Liber Legis popped into my head "I am the strength,force,vigour of your arms" Perhaps I am still identifying with the meek and mild Jesus whereas I should be aligning my conciousness to that of Ra Hoor Khuit?
93's and thanks for the suggestion.
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The 9 of Wands is Yesod in Fire (or Yesod in Atziluth, at a different level). It also corresponds to the Luna decanate of Sagittarius. (You can meditate on it placed above The Priestess and Art.)
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93,
"The 9 of Wands is Yesod in Fire (or Yesod in Atziluth, at a different level). It also corresponds to the Luna decanate of Sagittarius. (You can meditate on it placed above The Priestess and Art.)"
Thanks Jim, I shall try this tomorrow.
93's.
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@Jim Eshelman said
"I specifically did not mention standard pranayama, because that can increase anxiety symptoms. (Anything resembling hyperventillating or even hyper-attention to controlling breath ties into the autonomic reactions behind anxiety.)"
Really wish I could have read this post two years ago
![ð](https://thelema.org/forum/assets/plugins/nodebb-plugin-emoji/emoji/android/1f615.png?v=dr3im8c3m8q ":\")
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93,
Since, I have started taking Rhodiola Rosea life has become so much easier. Of course I am sure the practices help but this beautiful herb causes the anxiety to go away and the dark feeling that follows it and makes your life worth living. I can honestly say I feel genuinely happy with life and no longer worry about the future.
I have been taking the pills for about two weeks, and maybe the effects I've noticed are merely placebo in nature, (I don't believe them to be though.), I don't care about how it works just that it does and over time I may not need to take t because I will begin to get used to the social environment.
93's
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93,
I don't take other medication, but I shall mention it if that changes. I take 400mg a day and that's enough I think. It seems to keep me more alert and concentrated also which helps with revision. Thank you very much for introducing it to me!
I'll take it for 6 months and then see how a week or so goes without it and then I can decide what to do.I hope other people who find this take the advice from it, because it really does work.
93's.