Angelic Tough Love?
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I had felt a change in my life for a few months now, and it culminated the morning after St Patrick's day. Whilst walking home from a get-together, maybe three in the morning, I was the victim of a hit and run.
For awhile, I was delusional. I thought I was in an alternate universe and that I had a duty to convey some secret information to the citizens there.
This continued in the hospital, until the doctors discontinued my constant dose of propaphol. After which I returned to my "normal" state of mind. (Thelemites aren't "normal".)
I walked around for nearly two hours on fractured tibias, with a fractured wrist, and I must have been dragging my feet or something, because the skin on two of my toes had been worn to the bone, and there was massive skin rippage on top of my feet. I am unsure because I do not yet have my full memory back from the accident. My sandals disappeared somewhere.
Divine intervention ensued, and I saw my sister, who had happened to be living nearby and was just coming home from work. She works as an emergency call operator, and called the ambulance.
In the ambulance, I stopped breathing on my own for three days, and was not "there" for five. I was diagnosed with hypothermia.
I am just starting therapy on a walker, and went for a hundred feet today, second day.
The cops are looking for a culprit as I continue to remember in my dreams what had happened.
Just thought I would inform this community, whom I respect immensely, and explain where I have been for a month now.
My lease ran out, and my kitty cat is with my parents at the moment, my only real concern, besides my out of print thoth deck that was thrown out when my family went to get my stuff.
They were on the floor, recently meditated upon.
The car seemed to swerve at me at just the right moment, and I suspect drunk driving to be thee cause.
Just glad my angel didn't have me running a marathon in Boston. I already feel twenty times as spiritually balanced as I was before losing my paddle up $hit's creek.
Wings and [censored] out, fraters and sorors. I bid thee a wonderful morning, day, eve or night.
Love Is the Law.
Your Frankie Boy
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93 Frank,
I'm sorry to hear about your accident! I hope you heal, and are back to normal again soon! Your lucky however, a friend from works father was killed by a hit and run driver. He was struck crossing a small street as he walked from his car to his work. They never found who did it. I'm glad your alive!
Its funny, a few days ago I realized I hadn't seen anything from you online. I knew you are Dar were friends, I thought maybe you left with her. Anyway, stay strong Frater.
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That sounds like some horrible crazy shite! Wow. Glad to hear you are on the mend and your [censored] is in good hands. I hope you are well enough soon to be walker free. Sounds like you were lucky and didn't have any internal damage to organs, nor anything like massive head trauma, busted pelvis Ect.
Easy does it, take care ~
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My love back to you all.
I am sure everything will work out for the better. I've already got some thoth cards shipping to a friend's house tomorrow, and my folks were nice enough to bring me my magickal journals and a liber or two in print, only trashing the book of thoth, which I really could have used, and a few others like liber samekh. They actually brought me my 418.
They are weirded out by the fact that I can discredit any part of christianity that deems Thelema "evil", and are starting to realize where their faith should have been, being intelligent people. It's never too late to bloom, I tell them. They are interested in the fact that a hidden church hundreds of years old held the true teachings of Yeheshuah, can be connected to every sane part of every world religion, and how old the use of the cross goes to, while the false church went on to collect money and rape children as its only motivations. Hey, go Thelema and Rosy Cross.
My father, however, is confused by the idea of it going "public" just before, and around the time of this Aeon of Horus, the crowned and conquering child precious to their book of.revelations.
Let's not forget Photeth, or Thoth in that very book, with a staff or rod of iron, later revealed by Crowley to have the head of a phoenix, "dashing the wicked to pieces."
My morphine is kicking in,and I prepare to imbibe the rest of my hospital dresser drawer wine, before I am moved to rehab for two weeks. Goodbye bedpans, hello hot showers.
I am only still here because two days after I woke up, they forced mex, still on massive doses of fentanyl, to put all my weight on still broken tibias. This continued for four or.more days, until they did an mri and found out that they had greatly worsened the fractures, despite my constant voiced opinion that I thought I hurt too much for me to be ready for a walker, and to trust them doing this with no braces, splints, or casts on my knees. They were shocked, and put immobilizers on my knees, and ordered me motionless for three weeks.
Jim, being versed in this field, do you have any advice for a brother with no spendable money?
Good night, everybody!.. as Crowley says in the fountain of hyacinth, a comparable experiennce to my current one.
Love Is the Law
Frankie -
Holy sh!t! I hope you feel better soon, dude!
93, 93/93.
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Strenght and patience, bro.
I wish you to heal and to do thy will.
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@ThelemicMage said
"Jim, being versed in this field, do you have any advice for a brother with no spendable money?"
I'm not sure in which area you want to tap my experience... happy to help anyway I can.
BTW, in terms of reacquiring at least PDF or HTML copies of things (which I know is a poor, poor substitute for actual books), see the Recommended Links section of this forum <!-- l --><a class="postlink-local" href="http://heruraha.net/viewforum.php?f=50">viewforum.php?f=50</a><!-- l --> - especially section on occult references. And feel free to go to <!-- w --><a class="postlink" href="http://www.thelema.org/publications">www.thelema.org/publications</a><!-- w --> and grab all of the free downloads.
Remind me... where do you live?
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I do thank thee, my spiritual family. I am sure all shall be well.
A treacle well, for those that know our fair Alice.
93
Frankie -
There something you been ignoring for a while?
About a month and a half ago I injured my arm, nerve damage.
During the process of rehabilitation, I learned just how greater my acuity with one hand over the other...
Things are a bit more evened out nowJust thought I would share that with you, and some L.V.X.
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@Uni_Verse said
"There something you been ignoring for a while?
About a month and a half ago I injured my arm, nerve damage.
During the process of rehabilitation, I learned just how greater my acuity with one hand over the other...
Things are a bit more evened out nowJust thought I would share that with you, and some L.V.X."
Excellent mention. When I was 18 I broke my right shoulder, arm, and wrist. Learned to write with the left hand. I'm a skilled juggler now.
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@Takamba said
"
@Uni_Verse said
"There something you been ignoring for a while?
About a month and a half ago I injured my arm, nerve damage.
During the process of rehabilitation, I learned just how greater my acuity with one hand over the other...
Things are a bit more evened out nowJust thought I would share that with you, and some L.V.X."
Excellent mention. When I was 18 I broke my right shoulder, arm, and wrist. Learned to write with the left hand. I'm a skilled juggler now.
"
And a skilled hat-maker.
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I apologize, sir Jim. We must've been posting at the same time.
Many thanks for all the links, I shall use them. Also, darkbooks.org has a wonderful collection of Crowley material, and some rare works as well.
I live in Virginia, btw, and was more interested in your opinion on the doctors having me put my weight on my knees only a few days after waking up, and then giving me knee immobilizers after the mri.
Take it easy, and good night.
Oh, I wish I'd been out in California, when I got slammed down by that goddamn car, to misquote the Rolling Stones.
Love Is the Law,
Frankie -
@ThelemicMage said
"I live in Virginia, btw, and was more interested in your opinion on the doctors having me put my weight on my knees only a few days after waking up, and then giving me knee immobilizers after the mri."
They'd be in the best situation to judge, since they've seen the actual imaging scans. Especially if a physical therapist was involved, they likely know what they're doing (but not always, of course).
If you get the opportunity, try to get seen by a physiatrist, i.e., a "sports medicine" specialist. That specialty would have almost miraculous-seeming insight and techniques compared to the usual orthopedic surgeon.
Frankie, PM me your physical mailing address if you like. I may have something else that will help.
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Thanks all for your help.
I am now fully back to normal ambulance and have gained superior balance in physical, mental, and spiritual areas.
It seems I was not doing my will like I had tricked myself into believing I was doing.
I mean, not all the way. But things are different than they were before.
Take it easy,
Frankie -
It is good to hear from you Frankie!
I say this in jest, but your statement about being in normal ambulance....and superior balance.....after your accident, Well, um.....glad to hear you didn't loose your sense of humor
You know that I hold different views about using strange drugs then you, but in regards to your TrueWill, I will say that you seemed very genuine in your attitude to partake because you did so ( or at least said so) unto Nuit.
What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger they say. Yet when we do die, it is Her Love that Will bring us back.
Do What Thou Wilt,
always and forever -
Concerning your first statement, I am usually the first to jest, to a point of eating just enough lysergide to kill an elephant, and taking to the streets on All Hallows Eve, amongst the perfect children that haunt the caring sidewalks. However, my balance and ambulance is now more so than it has ever been, but not noticed by myself until after a month or so after I began to move about normally again. It is of my opinion that natural opiates, (I refuse to take pills,) help the human body heal again, (as evidenced in centuries of notation by those and those who were with them, who took opium before, during, and after fighting, an asset to any army as important as matching their enemy's weaponry, as indicated by a militia's mass amassing of the perfumic pungence before any battle. (I guess the initial "joke" from the Universe was
"OK, I see you've had a scuffle and are in some pain, better take this." Metamorphasizing into,
"Aha! Now I have given you something that will make you a match at wits to the greatest minds in the world, [a quote from Crowley himself], and give you beyond-human capability in strength and stamina, and you must now balance yourself with this element in much a way as a Sailor might rely on the balance of his ship at sea. Will you continue to use it after a short stint, permanently engraving these wonders in your Will, or will you use it as a way to get work done you could never have despite your best efforts at thinking, study, and writing."))Pandora fails not to manifest her miracles.
I also believe natural psychedelics to play an important role in the body's re-structuring of itself, as evidenced by the hundreds of Americans with "uncurable" cancer that return from the Amazon, with orders to ignore their doctors upon their return, having drank of the secret potion of Ayahuasca, or the vine of the dead, prepared by a learned shaman not just into scamming Americans.
There is strong evidence to support a series of facts regarding the active ingredient in Chacruna, helping the body to read it's own DNA, and restructure itself from the metaphysical blueprint.
As pertaining to your statement of Nuit: I have serious reason to believe that most of Nuit's sacraments have a feminine quality, and one can easily recognize the abuse of such living sacraments by the same feeling one gets from mistreating a good woman. "Always unto me!"
It is glad to be back, Angel.