Ordeals and HGA
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I have been pondering Jim’s following comments from an old thread “Satan…key to the Great Work”?:
*
Try this (crude, fast try): There is something within each of us, known to us, sought by us - usually unconsciously at first, and increasingly consciously as we pursue our spiritual path - of the nature of the Sun and fire, of the substance of the reproductive energies, saturating subconsciousness and filling the atmosphere of the intellect and inherently the devouring and vivifying flame of superconsciousness. Every one of us comes to know it differently, based on our own natures, and - when our knowledge of it and openness to it and responsiveness to it hits a certain critical threshold, it unites with us in the most ecstatic fusion, an inner event that is more REAL-feeling than the entirety of the rest of our life before that time.And, once that Truth of Self, that informing lover-teacher-flame has filled us and owned us - an event that nearly always will have (among other things) caused us to journey into our own personal Hells along the way - we then have that most shining of lights to escort us into the depths of our deepest Hell where each thing found, one after another, is seen and known and named and pledged in its entirety to the service of this lover-teacher-fire-light, and to that Will, or Voice of the Angel, which is the whole momentum of our being.*
The underlined areas are my points of interest. I have been pondering the diabolically genius quality of my ordeals – how it reaches into a personal Hell, displaying it in front of the entire world, yet occurring in a precise manner that it is never more than I can bear (so far).
In the past I used to hold the view that nothing can happen to me without “permission” from the HGA and I must accept the blows and learn the lesson hidden in the experience. However my thinking on this has evolved as of recent.
- Would it be correct to say the HGA not merely “permits” ordeals to happen to the person, but is the agent of the ordeals - in this sense the HGA plays a hidden adversarial role that purifies and draws the candidate toward future union? (I am thinking of that FLO prayer "Lord of the Light and the Darkness..")
- Is the invoking of the Four Crown Princes and 8 Subprinces at Tiphareth, binding them to the will of the HGA, the culmination of the above described journey through Hell and real-life initiations?
- Would it be true to say that if ordeals come from the HGA, we can rest assured that they will never be more than we can mentally or emotionally bear? (part of me feels like I am encircled by slander, devouring forces, and that should I step outside of that circle and discover the truth I might go mad or inflict severe violence on others. What I can't figure out is the "correct" attitude - that is, stay within my circle, socially isolated, acknowledging the precise hand of the HGA? Or step outside of my circle, confront the truth and become further devoured by the experience?)
- My life has taken on a extraordinary level of intensity in the last 3 years and the momentum doesn’t seem to let up. I am wondering whether my life will ever return to “normal” or whether this heightened intensity is part and parcel of a permanent awakening?
- Any tips on how to make this "tour through Hell" easier and smoother?
I edited that above post 3x. Hope Stag reads the last version. I am planning a 3-day retreat from tomorrow til Sunday, so if you don't hear from me... well, you'll be in my thoughts along with a bunch of other negativities I will be working with.
Happy New Year and may things turn around for you ASAP!
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I have been pondering Jim’s following comments from an old thread “Satan…key to the Great Work”?:
*
Try this (crude, fast try): There is something within each of us, known to us, sought by us - usually unconsciously at first, and increasingly consciously as we pursue our spiritual path - of the nature of the Sun and fire, of the substance of the reproductive energies, saturating subconsciousness and filling the atmosphere of the intellect and inherently the devouring and vivifying flame of superconsciousness. Every one of us comes to know it differently, based on our own natures, and - when our knowledge of it and openness to it and responsiveness to it hits a certain critical threshold, it unites with us in the most ecstatic fusion, an inner event that is more REAL-feeling than the entirety of the rest of our life before that time.And, once that Truth of Self, that informing lover-teacher-flame has filled us and owned us - an event that nearly always will have (among other things) caused us to journey into our own personal Hells along the way - we then have that most shining of lights to escort us into the depths of our deepest Hell where each thing found, one after another, is seen and known and named and pledged in its entirety to the service of this lover-teacher-fire-light, and to that Will, or Voice of the Angel, which is the whole momentum of our being.*
The underlined areas are my points of interest. I have been pondering the diabolically genius quality of my ordeals – how it reaches into a personal Hell, displaying it in front of the entire world, yet occurring in a precise manner that it is never more than I can bear (so far).
In the past I used to hold the view that nothing can happen to me without “permission” from the HGA and I must accept the blows and learn the lesson hidden in the experience. However my thinking on this has evolved as of recent.
- Would it be correct to say the HGA not merely “permits” ordeals to happen to the person, but is the agent of the ordeals - in this sense the HGA plays a hidden adversarial role that purifies and draws the candidate toward future union? (I am thinking of that FLO prayer "Lord of the Light and the Darkness..")
- Is the invoking of the Four Crown Princes and 8 Subprinces at Tiphareth, binding them to the will of the HGA, the culmination of the above described journey through Hell and real-life initiations?
- Would it be true to say that if ordeals come from the HGA, we can rest assured that they will never be more than we can mentally or emotionally bear? (part of me feels like I am encircled by slander, devouring forces, and that should I step outside of that circle and discover the truth I might go mad or inflict severe violence on others. What I can't figure out is the "correct" attitude - that is, stay within my circle, socially isolated, acknowledging the precise hand of the HGA? Or step outside of my circle, confront the truth and become further devoured by the experience?)
- My life has taken on a extraordinary level of intensity in the last 3 years and the momentum doesn’t seem to let up. I am wondering whether my life will ever return to “normal” or whether this heightened intensity is part and parcel of a permanent awakening?
- Any tips on how to make this "tour through Hell" easier and smoother?
@Stag-Nation said
"WHY in the Chaotic Void would anyone willingly sign up for this sort of ridiculous psycho/spiritual shenanigan is truly beyond me. I am wholly unworthy of such a grandiose theatric role...as this is certainly what it feels like. And, perhaps this is the point, or rather the conclusion one is supposed to arrive at?!"
To me, it sounds here like you're seeing that the idea this is "planned," as some believe, by your Higher Self (or whatever) for your entertainment, firsthand experiential knowledge and/or spiritual advancement is not something you find to be a very realistic proposition. I agree. My personal belief is that we are in this condition due to a very SIMPLE error, subtler than a hair's breadth, but gigantic in potential scope of error. Fortunately, this means it is also always there, under obscurations of ignorance, to be recognized in every moment forever and that means, eventually, when logic (karma) runs its course, it will be recognized.
-
I have been pondering Jim’s following comments from an old thread “Satan…key to the Great Work”?:
*
Try this (crude, fast try): There is something within each of us, known to us, sought by us - usually unconsciously at first, and increasingly consciously as we pursue our spiritual path - of the nature of the Sun and fire, of the substance of the reproductive energies, saturating subconsciousness and filling the atmosphere of the intellect and inherently the devouring and vivifying flame of superconsciousness. Every one of us comes to know it differently, based on our own natures, and - when our knowledge of it and openness to it and responsiveness to it hits a certain critical threshold, it unites with us in the most ecstatic fusion, an inner event that is more REAL-feeling than the entirety of the rest of our life before that time.And, once that Truth of Self, that informing lover-teacher-flame has filled us and owned us - an event that nearly always will have (among other things) caused us to journey into our own personal Hells along the way - we then have that most shining of lights to escort us into the depths of our deepest Hell where each thing found, one after another, is seen and known and named and pledged in its entirety to the service of this lover-teacher-fire-light, and to that Will, or Voice of the Angel, which is the whole momentum of our being.*
The underlined areas are my points of interest. I have been pondering the diabolically genius quality of my ordeals – how it reaches into a personal Hell, displaying it in front of the entire world, yet occurring in a precise manner that it is never more than I can bear (so far).
In the past I used to hold the view that nothing can happen to me without “permission” from the HGA and I must accept the blows and learn the lesson hidden in the experience. However my thinking on this has evolved as of recent.
- Would it be correct to say the HGA not merely “permits” ordeals to happen to the person, but is the agent of the ordeals - in this sense the HGA plays a hidden adversarial role that purifies and draws the candidate toward future union? (I am thinking of that FLO prayer "Lord of the Light and the Darkness..")
- Is the invoking of the Four Crown Princes and 8 Subprinces at Tiphareth, binding them to the will of the HGA, the culmination of the above described journey through Hell and real-life initiations?
- Would it be true to say that if ordeals come from the HGA, we can rest assured that they will never be more than we can mentally or emotionally bear? (part of me feels like I am encircled by slander, devouring forces, and that should I step outside of that circle and discover the truth I might go mad or inflict severe violence on others. What I can't figure out is the "correct" attitude - that is, stay within my circle, socially isolated, acknowledging the precise hand of the HGA? Or step outside of my circle, confront the truth and become further devoured by the experience?)
- My life has taken on a extraordinary level of intensity in the last 3 years and the momentum doesn’t seem to let up. I am wondering whether my life will ever return to “normal” or whether this heightened intensity is part and parcel of a permanent awakening?
- Any tips on how to make this "tour through Hell" easier and smoother?
@Redd Fezz said
"
Not to alarm you or anything, but... would anyone like to share advice about how to work with one's "demons?" "Maybe not what you had in mind, but I love the book "One Hundred Demons" by Lynda Barry.... it's about making art - she illustrates her inner demons....
Apparently she was inspired by a Japanese artist "Kuniyoshi Yokai Hyakkei - Kuniyoshi's One Hundred Images of Ghosts and Demons"
-
I have been pondering Jim’s following comments from an old thread “Satan…key to the Great Work”?:
*
Try this (crude, fast try): There is something within each of us, known to us, sought by us - usually unconsciously at first, and increasingly consciously as we pursue our spiritual path - of the nature of the Sun and fire, of the substance of the reproductive energies, saturating subconsciousness and filling the atmosphere of the intellect and inherently the devouring and vivifying flame of superconsciousness. Every one of us comes to know it differently, based on our own natures, and - when our knowledge of it and openness to it and responsiveness to it hits a certain critical threshold, it unites with us in the most ecstatic fusion, an inner event that is more REAL-feeling than the entirety of the rest of our life before that time.And, once that Truth of Self, that informing lover-teacher-flame has filled us and owned us - an event that nearly always will have (among other things) caused us to journey into our own personal Hells along the way - we then have that most shining of lights to escort us into the depths of our deepest Hell where each thing found, one after another, is seen and known and named and pledged in its entirety to the service of this lover-teacher-fire-light, and to that Will, or Voice of the Angel, which is the whole momentum of our being.*
The underlined areas are my points of interest. I have been pondering the diabolically genius quality of my ordeals – how it reaches into a personal Hell, displaying it in front of the entire world, yet occurring in a precise manner that it is never more than I can bear (so far).
In the past I used to hold the view that nothing can happen to me without “permission” from the HGA and I must accept the blows and learn the lesson hidden in the experience. However my thinking on this has evolved as of recent.
- Would it be correct to say the HGA not merely “permits” ordeals to happen to the person, but is the agent of the ordeals - in this sense the HGA plays a hidden adversarial role that purifies and draws the candidate toward future union? (I am thinking of that FLO prayer "Lord of the Light and the Darkness..")
- Is the invoking of the Four Crown Princes and 8 Subprinces at Tiphareth, binding them to the will of the HGA, the culmination of the above described journey through Hell and real-life initiations?
- Would it be true to say that if ordeals come from the HGA, we can rest assured that they will never be more than we can mentally or emotionally bear? (part of me feels like I am encircled by slander, devouring forces, and that should I step outside of that circle and discover the truth I might go mad or inflict severe violence on others. What I can't figure out is the "correct" attitude - that is, stay within my circle, socially isolated, acknowledging the precise hand of the HGA? Or step outside of my circle, confront the truth and become further devoured by the experience?)
- My life has taken on a extraordinary level of intensity in the last 3 years and the momentum doesn’t seem to let up. I am wondering whether my life will ever return to “normal” or whether this heightened intensity is part and parcel of a permanent awakening?
- Any tips on how to make this "tour through Hell" easier and smoother?
-
I have been pondering Jim’s following comments from an old thread “Satan…key to the Great Work”?:
*
Try this (crude, fast try): There is something within each of us, known to us, sought by us - usually unconsciously at first, and increasingly consciously as we pursue our spiritual path - of the nature of the Sun and fire, of the substance of the reproductive energies, saturating subconsciousness and filling the atmosphere of the intellect and inherently the devouring and vivifying flame of superconsciousness. Every one of us comes to know it differently, based on our own natures, and - when our knowledge of it and openness to it and responsiveness to it hits a certain critical threshold, it unites with us in the most ecstatic fusion, an inner event that is more REAL-feeling than the entirety of the rest of our life before that time.And, once that Truth of Self, that informing lover-teacher-flame has filled us and owned us - an event that nearly always will have (among other things) caused us to journey into our own personal Hells along the way - we then have that most shining of lights to escort us into the depths of our deepest Hell where each thing found, one after another, is seen and known and named and pledged in its entirety to the service of this lover-teacher-fire-light, and to that Will, or Voice of the Angel, which is the whole momentum of our being.*
The underlined areas are my points of interest. I have been pondering the diabolically genius quality of my ordeals – how it reaches into a personal Hell, displaying it in front of the entire world, yet occurring in a precise manner that it is never more than I can bear (so far).
In the past I used to hold the view that nothing can happen to me without “permission” from the HGA and I must accept the blows and learn the lesson hidden in the experience. However my thinking on this has evolved as of recent.
- Would it be correct to say the HGA not merely “permits” ordeals to happen to the person, but is the agent of the ordeals - in this sense the HGA plays a hidden adversarial role that purifies and draws the candidate toward future union? (I am thinking of that FLO prayer "Lord of the Light and the Darkness..")
- Is the invoking of the Four Crown Princes and 8 Subprinces at Tiphareth, binding them to the will of the HGA, the culmination of the above described journey through Hell and real-life initiations?
- Would it be true to say that if ordeals come from the HGA, we can rest assured that they will never be more than we can mentally or emotionally bear? (part of me feels like I am encircled by slander, devouring forces, and that should I step outside of that circle and discover the truth I might go mad or inflict severe violence on others. What I can't figure out is the "correct" attitude - that is, stay within my circle, socially isolated, acknowledging the precise hand of the HGA? Or step outside of my circle, confront the truth and become further devoured by the experience?)
- My life has taken on a extraordinary level of intensity in the last 3 years and the momentum doesn’t seem to let up. I am wondering whether my life will ever return to “normal” or whether this heightened intensity is part and parcel of a permanent awakening?
- Any tips on how to make this "tour through Hell" easier and smoother?
Thanks Everyone,
For taking the time to offer friendly advice.
Mr. Fezz fret not I have no intention of harming anyone or thing... I just need to learn how to put a saddle on this wily goat. I haven't the foggiest about banishings but im sure that would be the proper action.I'm remarkably stubborn and foolish and my best friend whom I often look to for guidance has about as much emotional warmth as a cold steel plate-which I often resent. She's dreamy :l Back to the matter, I feel very isolated oftentimes which prompted me to seek some form of peer review; interaction.
I really do appreciate the discussion, thanks again.
I will just lurk for a while until i regain a comfortable perspective. -
I have been pondering Jim’s following comments from an old thread “Satan…key to the Great Work”?:
*
Try this (crude, fast try): There is something within each of us, known to us, sought by us - usually unconsciously at first, and increasingly consciously as we pursue our spiritual path - of the nature of the Sun and fire, of the substance of the reproductive energies, saturating subconsciousness and filling the atmosphere of the intellect and inherently the devouring and vivifying flame of superconsciousness. Every one of us comes to know it differently, based on our own natures, and - when our knowledge of it and openness to it and responsiveness to it hits a certain critical threshold, it unites with us in the most ecstatic fusion, an inner event that is more REAL-feeling than the entirety of the rest of our life before that time.And, once that Truth of Self, that informing lover-teacher-flame has filled us and owned us - an event that nearly always will have (among other things) caused us to journey into our own personal Hells along the way - we then have that most shining of lights to escort us into the depths of our deepest Hell where each thing found, one after another, is seen and known and named and pledged in its entirety to the service of this lover-teacher-fire-light, and to that Will, or Voice of the Angel, which is the whole momentum of our being.*
The underlined areas are my points of interest. I have been pondering the diabolically genius quality of my ordeals – how it reaches into a personal Hell, displaying it in front of the entire world, yet occurring in a precise manner that it is never more than I can bear (so far).
In the past I used to hold the view that nothing can happen to me without “permission” from the HGA and I must accept the blows and learn the lesson hidden in the experience. However my thinking on this has evolved as of recent.
- Would it be correct to say the HGA not merely “permits” ordeals to happen to the person, but is the agent of the ordeals - in this sense the HGA plays a hidden adversarial role that purifies and draws the candidate toward future union? (I am thinking of that FLO prayer "Lord of the Light and the Darkness..")
- Is the invoking of the Four Crown Princes and 8 Subprinces at Tiphareth, binding them to the will of the HGA, the culmination of the above described journey through Hell and real-life initiations?
- Would it be true to say that if ordeals come from the HGA, we can rest assured that they will never be more than we can mentally or emotionally bear? (part of me feels like I am encircled by slander, devouring forces, and that should I step outside of that circle and discover the truth I might go mad or inflict severe violence on others. What I can't figure out is the "correct" attitude - that is, stay within my circle, socially isolated, acknowledging the precise hand of the HGA? Or step outside of my circle, confront the truth and become further devoured by the experience?)
- My life has taken on a extraordinary level of intensity in the last 3 years and the momentum doesn’t seem to let up. I am wondering whether my life will ever return to “normal” or whether this heightened intensity is part and parcel of a permanent awakening?
- Any tips on how to make this "tour through Hell" easier and smoother?
I was very happy to offer whatever perhaps useless advice I could. I will be doing a Green Tara retreat starting tomorrow and if you want, you could probably link up with my practice since we have a connection. I will be involving you regardless, although not, like, directly... but there is always a link to everything and everyone, especially if it's recent. So, if you have any affinity for that sort of practice, the mantra is OM TARE TUTTARE TURE SVAHA and I will likely be chanting it for the next 72 hours give or take, so if you want to "hook up" you're more than welcome. Green Tara would very much help with your obstacles if you actually asked Her to from the heart.
-
I have been pondering Jim’s following comments from an old thread “Satan…key to the Great Work”?:
*
Try this (crude, fast try): There is something within each of us, known to us, sought by us - usually unconsciously at first, and increasingly consciously as we pursue our spiritual path - of the nature of the Sun and fire, of the substance of the reproductive energies, saturating subconsciousness and filling the atmosphere of the intellect and inherently the devouring and vivifying flame of superconsciousness. Every one of us comes to know it differently, based on our own natures, and - when our knowledge of it and openness to it and responsiveness to it hits a certain critical threshold, it unites with us in the most ecstatic fusion, an inner event that is more REAL-feeling than the entirety of the rest of our life before that time.And, once that Truth of Self, that informing lover-teacher-flame has filled us and owned us - an event that nearly always will have (among other things) caused us to journey into our own personal Hells along the way - we then have that most shining of lights to escort us into the depths of our deepest Hell where each thing found, one after another, is seen and known and named and pledged in its entirety to the service of this lover-teacher-fire-light, and to that Will, or Voice of the Angel, which is the whole momentum of our being.*
The underlined areas are my points of interest. I have been pondering the diabolically genius quality of my ordeals – how it reaches into a personal Hell, displaying it in front of the entire world, yet occurring in a precise manner that it is never more than I can bear (so far).
In the past I used to hold the view that nothing can happen to me without “permission” from the HGA and I must accept the blows and learn the lesson hidden in the experience. However my thinking on this has evolved as of recent.
- Would it be correct to say the HGA not merely “permits” ordeals to happen to the person, but is the agent of the ordeals - in this sense the HGA plays a hidden adversarial role that purifies and draws the candidate toward future union? (I am thinking of that FLO prayer "Lord of the Light and the Darkness..")
- Is the invoking of the Four Crown Princes and 8 Subprinces at Tiphareth, binding them to the will of the HGA, the culmination of the above described journey through Hell and real-life initiations?
- Would it be true to say that if ordeals come from the HGA, we can rest assured that they will never be more than we can mentally or emotionally bear? (part of me feels like I am encircled by slander, devouring forces, and that should I step outside of that circle and discover the truth I might go mad or inflict severe violence on others. What I can't figure out is the "correct" attitude - that is, stay within my circle, socially isolated, acknowledging the precise hand of the HGA? Or step outside of my circle, confront the truth and become further devoured by the experience?)
- My life has taken on a extraordinary level of intensity in the last 3 years and the momentum doesn’t seem to let up. I am wondering whether my life will ever return to “normal” or whether this heightened intensity is part and parcel of a permanent awakening?
- Any tips on how to make this "tour through Hell" easier and smoother?
@Stag-Nation said
"my best friend whom I often look to for guidance has about as much emotional warmth as a cold steel plate-which I often resent."
It might just be the presentation. I am a motherfucker for all the right reasons, if you know what I mean... It's usually when I'm being "nice" that people get the wrong idea. That's okay most of the time, but for people you REALLY care about and especially if you KNOW what's going on there?... being "nice" doesn't cut it if "nice" means perpetuating their delusion. Life is short, man. (well, this particular life, anyway)
-
I have been pondering Jim’s following comments from an old thread “Satan…key to the Great Work”?:
*
Try this (crude, fast try): There is something within each of us, known to us, sought by us - usually unconsciously at first, and increasingly consciously as we pursue our spiritual path - of the nature of the Sun and fire, of the substance of the reproductive energies, saturating subconsciousness and filling the atmosphere of the intellect and inherently the devouring and vivifying flame of superconsciousness. Every one of us comes to know it differently, based on our own natures, and - when our knowledge of it and openness to it and responsiveness to it hits a certain critical threshold, it unites with us in the most ecstatic fusion, an inner event that is more REAL-feeling than the entirety of the rest of our life before that time.And, once that Truth of Self, that informing lover-teacher-flame has filled us and owned us - an event that nearly always will have (among other things) caused us to journey into our own personal Hells along the way - we then have that most shining of lights to escort us into the depths of our deepest Hell where each thing found, one after another, is seen and known and named and pledged in its entirety to the service of this lover-teacher-fire-light, and to that Will, or Voice of the Angel, which is the whole momentum of our being.*
The underlined areas are my points of interest. I have been pondering the diabolically genius quality of my ordeals – how it reaches into a personal Hell, displaying it in front of the entire world, yet occurring in a precise manner that it is never more than I can bear (so far).
In the past I used to hold the view that nothing can happen to me without “permission” from the HGA and I must accept the blows and learn the lesson hidden in the experience. However my thinking on this has evolved as of recent.
- Would it be correct to say the HGA not merely “permits” ordeals to happen to the person, but is the agent of the ordeals - in this sense the HGA plays a hidden adversarial role that purifies and draws the candidate toward future union? (I am thinking of that FLO prayer "Lord of the Light and the Darkness..")
- Is the invoking of the Four Crown Princes and 8 Subprinces at Tiphareth, binding them to the will of the HGA, the culmination of the above described journey through Hell and real-life initiations?
- Would it be true to say that if ordeals come from the HGA, we can rest assured that they will never be more than we can mentally or emotionally bear? (part of me feels like I am encircled by slander, devouring forces, and that should I step outside of that circle and discover the truth I might go mad or inflict severe violence on others. What I can't figure out is the "correct" attitude - that is, stay within my circle, socially isolated, acknowledging the precise hand of the HGA? Or step outside of my circle, confront the truth and become further devoured by the experience?)
- My life has taken on a extraordinary level of intensity in the last 3 years and the momentum doesn’t seem to let up. I am wondering whether my life will ever return to “normal” or whether this heightened intensity is part and parcel of a permanent awakening?
- Any tips on how to make this "tour through Hell" easier and smoother?
I agree... Not a slave, but a ball bustin' 'perfect' mind. I wouldn't have her any other way - not that she could be. She's the iceing on my cake.
I'm the loose cannon.
Her entire dialectic hinges on the whole, 'Pity not the fallen' ideology. It should probably read, because they will get back
up one way or another.
Edit:
'Loose Cannon' is definitely not to be understood in a literal sense. It's an onion.
-
I have been pondering Jim’s following comments from an old thread “Satan…key to the Great Work”?:
*
Try this (crude, fast try): There is something within each of us, known to us, sought by us - usually unconsciously at first, and increasingly consciously as we pursue our spiritual path - of the nature of the Sun and fire, of the substance of the reproductive energies, saturating subconsciousness and filling the atmosphere of the intellect and inherently the devouring and vivifying flame of superconsciousness. Every one of us comes to know it differently, based on our own natures, and - when our knowledge of it and openness to it and responsiveness to it hits a certain critical threshold, it unites with us in the most ecstatic fusion, an inner event that is more REAL-feeling than the entirety of the rest of our life before that time.And, once that Truth of Self, that informing lover-teacher-flame has filled us and owned us - an event that nearly always will have (among other things) caused us to journey into our own personal Hells along the way - we then have that most shining of lights to escort us into the depths of our deepest Hell where each thing found, one after another, is seen and known and named and pledged in its entirety to the service of this lover-teacher-fire-light, and to that Will, or Voice of the Angel, which is the whole momentum of our being.*
The underlined areas are my points of interest. I have been pondering the diabolically genius quality of my ordeals – how it reaches into a personal Hell, displaying it in front of the entire world, yet occurring in a precise manner that it is never more than I can bear (so far).
In the past I used to hold the view that nothing can happen to me without “permission” from the HGA and I must accept the blows and learn the lesson hidden in the experience. However my thinking on this has evolved as of recent.
- Would it be correct to say the HGA not merely “permits” ordeals to happen to the person, but is the agent of the ordeals - in this sense the HGA plays a hidden adversarial role that purifies and draws the candidate toward future union? (I am thinking of that FLO prayer "Lord of the Light and the Darkness..")
- Is the invoking of the Four Crown Princes and 8 Subprinces at Tiphareth, binding them to the will of the HGA, the culmination of the above described journey through Hell and real-life initiations?
- Would it be true to say that if ordeals come from the HGA, we can rest assured that they will never be more than we can mentally or emotionally bear? (part of me feels like I am encircled by slander, devouring forces, and that should I step outside of that circle and discover the truth I might go mad or inflict severe violence on others. What I can't figure out is the "correct" attitude - that is, stay within my circle, socially isolated, acknowledging the precise hand of the HGA? Or step outside of my circle, confront the truth and become further devoured by the experience?)
- My life has taken on a extraordinary level of intensity in the last 3 years and the momentum doesn’t seem to let up. I am wondering whether my life will ever return to “normal” or whether this heightened intensity is part and parcel of a permanent awakening?
- Any tips on how to make this "tour through Hell" easier and smoother?
@Stag-Nation said
"I agree... Not a slave, but a ball bustin' 'perfect' mind. I wouldn't have her any other way - not that she could be. She's the iceing on my cake.
I'm the loose cannon.
Her entire dialectic hinges on the whole, 'Pity not the fallen' ideology. It should probably read, because they will get back
up one way or another.Edit:
'Loose Cannon' is definitely not to be understood in a literal sense. It's an onion.
"Maybe you are the 'loose cannon' in the canonical sense, but some wordplay works better in speech than it does in the written word. What I mean is, like, the Bible is the "official canon" and all the so-called 'heretical' scriptures could be considered the 'loose canon' (or lost canon) until such time as they are pieced together into a unified whole (which some people seem to be already doing).
What I mean is this: maybe you think you've already found your place, but in fact it is not working for you. In practice, you're stuck in a rut. This is what I meant when I talked about resistance from others being friends helping you to expose the chinks in your armor. There is a whole study about the psycho-physical muscular armor we wear, but unfortunately you only tend to find info on this in random NLP books and stuff of that nature, which frankly, after a long period of trial and error with such modern age hokum, I have completely given up on. But, it is clear that people's bodies conform to what's going on in their minds. The scaredy cat walks with a hunch so that he almost looks like a question mark from the side. His whole life is interrogative: "what if they don't like me?!"
If your woman is really how you say she is, then she is different from me (Nietzschean, perhaps?) Charity doesn't always lead to resentment; in fact, I'd say it usually does not. Political grandstanding, gladhanding and useless charity meant to put on a good show but still keep the oppressed oppressed is what causes resentment. Pity is also not an emotion to be turned on or off. In non-psychopaths and non-sociopaths, pity is a natural emotion tied to compassion. If it weren't for compassion, your mother would have left you in a field to die shortly after giving birth to you. If not for compassion, very little would get done. Also, some people are truly, truly, damn weak and in exceedingly difficult conditions. As my father used to joke, "don't judge a man until you walk a mile in his mocassins." Some of the conditions people live in I wouldn't wish on a dog.
Liber Al can be read many ways and it is up to each man for himself to interpret it. I believe in charitable and compassionate action, personally. But, if someone is screwing up and has screwheaded ideas, I'm going to point it out and not merely look the other way. If I didn't, that would be what Chogyam Trungpa called "idiot compassion."
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I have been pondering Jim’s following comments from an old thread “Satan…key to the Great Work”?:
*
Try this (crude, fast try): There is something within each of us, known to us, sought by us - usually unconsciously at first, and increasingly consciously as we pursue our spiritual path - of the nature of the Sun and fire, of the substance of the reproductive energies, saturating subconsciousness and filling the atmosphere of the intellect and inherently the devouring and vivifying flame of superconsciousness. Every one of us comes to know it differently, based on our own natures, and - when our knowledge of it and openness to it and responsiveness to it hits a certain critical threshold, it unites with us in the most ecstatic fusion, an inner event that is more REAL-feeling than the entirety of the rest of our life before that time.And, once that Truth of Self, that informing lover-teacher-flame has filled us and owned us - an event that nearly always will have (among other things) caused us to journey into our own personal Hells along the way - we then have that most shining of lights to escort us into the depths of our deepest Hell where each thing found, one after another, is seen and known and named and pledged in its entirety to the service of this lover-teacher-fire-light, and to that Will, or Voice of the Angel, which is the whole momentum of our being.*
The underlined areas are my points of interest. I have been pondering the diabolically genius quality of my ordeals – how it reaches into a personal Hell, displaying it in front of the entire world, yet occurring in a precise manner that it is never more than I can bear (so far).
In the past I used to hold the view that nothing can happen to me without “permission” from the HGA and I must accept the blows and learn the lesson hidden in the experience. However my thinking on this has evolved as of recent.
- Would it be correct to say the HGA not merely “permits” ordeals to happen to the person, but is the agent of the ordeals - in this sense the HGA plays a hidden adversarial role that purifies and draws the candidate toward future union? (I am thinking of that FLO prayer "Lord of the Light and the Darkness..")
- Is the invoking of the Four Crown Princes and 8 Subprinces at Tiphareth, binding them to the will of the HGA, the culmination of the above described journey through Hell and real-life initiations?
- Would it be true to say that if ordeals come from the HGA, we can rest assured that they will never be more than we can mentally or emotionally bear? (part of me feels like I am encircled by slander, devouring forces, and that should I step outside of that circle and discover the truth I might go mad or inflict severe violence on others. What I can't figure out is the "correct" attitude - that is, stay within my circle, socially isolated, acknowledging the precise hand of the HGA? Or step outside of my circle, confront the truth and become further devoured by the experience?)
- My life has taken on a extraordinary level of intensity in the last 3 years and the momentum doesn’t seem to let up. I am wondering whether my life will ever return to “normal” or whether this heightened intensity is part and parcel of a permanent awakening?
- Any tips on how to make this "tour through Hell" easier and smoother?
Lost Cannon, adrift in a sea of sh*t: the story of a fledgling magician
Sounds rather apropos.You make wonderful sense to me Mr. Fezz. I do believe you have hit at least one of the proverbial nails on its head with regard to not having found ones place. I've often wondered about this, considering my life has been remarkably devoid of what some might term, normalcy.
Of course, there was a period in which i thought i had found the 'spot' but it turned out to be just another fleeting shadow. Ive come to the conclusion on more than one occasion that there is no destination at least not a typical one for the likes of me.
edit:
whatever you do Mr. Fezz, don't google the title of my mock autobiography.
-
I have been pondering Jim’s following comments from an old thread “Satan…key to the Great Work”?:
*
Try this (crude, fast try): There is something within each of us, known to us, sought by us - usually unconsciously at first, and increasingly consciously as we pursue our spiritual path - of the nature of the Sun and fire, of the substance of the reproductive energies, saturating subconsciousness and filling the atmosphere of the intellect and inherently the devouring and vivifying flame of superconsciousness. Every one of us comes to know it differently, based on our own natures, and - when our knowledge of it and openness to it and responsiveness to it hits a certain critical threshold, it unites with us in the most ecstatic fusion, an inner event that is more REAL-feeling than the entirety of the rest of our life before that time.And, once that Truth of Self, that informing lover-teacher-flame has filled us and owned us - an event that nearly always will have (among other things) caused us to journey into our own personal Hells along the way - we then have that most shining of lights to escort us into the depths of our deepest Hell where each thing found, one after another, is seen and known and named and pledged in its entirety to the service of this lover-teacher-fire-light, and to that Will, or Voice of the Angel, which is the whole momentum of our being.*
The underlined areas are my points of interest. I have been pondering the diabolically genius quality of my ordeals – how it reaches into a personal Hell, displaying it in front of the entire world, yet occurring in a precise manner that it is never more than I can bear (so far).
In the past I used to hold the view that nothing can happen to me without “permission” from the HGA and I must accept the blows and learn the lesson hidden in the experience. However my thinking on this has evolved as of recent.
- Would it be correct to say the HGA not merely “permits” ordeals to happen to the person, but is the agent of the ordeals - in this sense the HGA plays a hidden adversarial role that purifies and draws the candidate toward future union? (I am thinking of that FLO prayer "Lord of the Light and the Darkness..")
- Is the invoking of the Four Crown Princes and 8 Subprinces at Tiphareth, binding them to the will of the HGA, the culmination of the above described journey through Hell and real-life initiations?
- Would it be true to say that if ordeals come from the HGA, we can rest assured that they will never be more than we can mentally or emotionally bear? (part of me feels like I am encircled by slander, devouring forces, and that should I step outside of that circle and discover the truth I might go mad or inflict severe violence on others. What I can't figure out is the "correct" attitude - that is, stay within my circle, socially isolated, acknowledging the precise hand of the HGA? Or step outside of my circle, confront the truth and become further devoured by the experience?)
- My life has taken on a extraordinary level of intensity in the last 3 years and the momentum doesn’t seem to let up. I am wondering whether my life will ever return to “normal” or whether this heightened intensity is part and parcel of a permanent awakening?
- Any tips on how to make this "tour through Hell" easier and smoother?
It seems like you are in a terrible bind and somehow found your way to a Thelemic message board without knowing how to perform a simple banishing? That seems highly unusual. I don't know how we can help you without you being clearer about your situation or the kind of help you're looking for, if any. If Thelema isn't really your bag, then I wouldn't jump in and start practicing it to banish possible demons.
Speaking of which, I saw some hairy demons the other night rather clearly. Never thought of demons as hairy before, but these guys practically looked like muppets or something. Scarier, of course. Why did they show up? Well, I would say it had something to do with 20 hours of meditation. I'm mentioning this because you can attract perhaps negative attention by accident and, if you're not looking for that kind of attention and are not really interested in practices, it is probably better to get rid of any occult material you have lying around.
-
I have been pondering Jim’s following comments from an old thread “Satan…key to the Great Work”?:
*
Try this (crude, fast try): There is something within each of us, known to us, sought by us - usually unconsciously at first, and increasingly consciously as we pursue our spiritual path - of the nature of the Sun and fire, of the substance of the reproductive energies, saturating subconsciousness and filling the atmosphere of the intellect and inherently the devouring and vivifying flame of superconsciousness. Every one of us comes to know it differently, based on our own natures, and - when our knowledge of it and openness to it and responsiveness to it hits a certain critical threshold, it unites with us in the most ecstatic fusion, an inner event that is more REAL-feeling than the entirety of the rest of our life before that time.And, once that Truth of Self, that informing lover-teacher-flame has filled us and owned us - an event that nearly always will have (among other things) caused us to journey into our own personal Hells along the way - we then have that most shining of lights to escort us into the depths of our deepest Hell where each thing found, one after another, is seen and known and named and pledged in its entirety to the service of this lover-teacher-fire-light, and to that Will, or Voice of the Angel, which is the whole momentum of our being.*
The underlined areas are my points of interest. I have been pondering the diabolically genius quality of my ordeals – how it reaches into a personal Hell, displaying it in front of the entire world, yet occurring in a precise manner that it is never more than I can bear (so far).
In the past I used to hold the view that nothing can happen to me without “permission” from the HGA and I must accept the blows and learn the lesson hidden in the experience. However my thinking on this has evolved as of recent.
- Would it be correct to say the HGA not merely “permits” ordeals to happen to the person, but is the agent of the ordeals - in this sense the HGA plays a hidden adversarial role that purifies and draws the candidate toward future union? (I am thinking of that FLO prayer "Lord of the Light and the Darkness..")
- Is the invoking of the Four Crown Princes and 8 Subprinces at Tiphareth, binding them to the will of the HGA, the culmination of the above described journey through Hell and real-life initiations?
- Would it be true to say that if ordeals come from the HGA, we can rest assured that they will never be more than we can mentally or emotionally bear? (part of me feels like I am encircled by slander, devouring forces, and that should I step outside of that circle and discover the truth I might go mad or inflict severe violence on others. What I can't figure out is the "correct" attitude - that is, stay within my circle, socially isolated, acknowledging the precise hand of the HGA? Or step outside of my circle, confront the truth and become further devoured by the experience?)
- My life has taken on a extraordinary level of intensity in the last 3 years and the momentum doesn’t seem to let up. I am wondering whether my life will ever return to “normal” or whether this heightened intensity is part and parcel of a permanent awakening?
- Any tips on how to make this "tour through Hell" easier and smoother?
@Redd Fezz said
"It seems like you are in a terrible bind and somehow found your way to a Thelemic message board without knowing how to perform a simple banishing? That seems highly unusual. I don't know how we can help you without you being clearer about your situation or the kind of help you're looking for, if any. If Thelema isn't really your bag, then I wouldn't jump in and start practicing it to banish possible demons.
Speaking of which, I saw some hairy demons the other night rather clearly. Never thought of demons as hairy before, but these guys practically looked like muppets or something. Scarier, of course. Why did they show up? Well, I would say it had something to do with 20 hours of meditation. I'm mentioning this because you can attract perhaps negative attention by accident and, if you're not looking for that kind of attention and are not really interested in practices, it is probably better to get rid of any occult material you have lying around."
Hello Mr.Fezz,
I thought i was pretty clear or as clear as one could be regarding materia that is so steeply mired in subjectivity?! I will figure it out or die trying. After all, strength is gained through scarring? I do appreciate the friendly advice and well wishing. And that picture of Barbara 'the beast' Bush helped me in ways a couldn't have imagined
Thanks Everyone,
Lux
-
I have been pondering Jim’s following comments from an old thread “Satan…key to the Great Work”?:
*
Try this (crude, fast try): There is something within each of us, known to us, sought by us - usually unconsciously at first, and increasingly consciously as we pursue our spiritual path - of the nature of the Sun and fire, of the substance of the reproductive energies, saturating subconsciousness and filling the atmosphere of the intellect and inherently the devouring and vivifying flame of superconsciousness. Every one of us comes to know it differently, based on our own natures, and - when our knowledge of it and openness to it and responsiveness to it hits a certain critical threshold, it unites with us in the most ecstatic fusion, an inner event that is more REAL-feeling than the entirety of the rest of our life before that time.And, once that Truth of Self, that informing lover-teacher-flame has filled us and owned us - an event that nearly always will have (among other things) caused us to journey into our own personal Hells along the way - we then have that most shining of lights to escort us into the depths of our deepest Hell where each thing found, one after another, is seen and known and named and pledged in its entirety to the service of this lover-teacher-fire-light, and to that Will, or Voice of the Angel, which is the whole momentum of our being.*
The underlined areas are my points of interest. I have been pondering the diabolically genius quality of my ordeals – how it reaches into a personal Hell, displaying it in front of the entire world, yet occurring in a precise manner that it is never more than I can bear (so far).
In the past I used to hold the view that nothing can happen to me without “permission” from the HGA and I must accept the blows and learn the lesson hidden in the experience. However my thinking on this has evolved as of recent.
- Would it be correct to say the HGA not merely “permits” ordeals to happen to the person, but is the agent of the ordeals - in this sense the HGA plays a hidden adversarial role that purifies and draws the candidate toward future union? (I am thinking of that FLO prayer "Lord of the Light and the Darkness..")
- Is the invoking of the Four Crown Princes and 8 Subprinces at Tiphareth, binding them to the will of the HGA, the culmination of the above described journey through Hell and real-life initiations?
- Would it be true to say that if ordeals come from the HGA, we can rest assured that they will never be more than we can mentally or emotionally bear? (part of me feels like I am encircled by slander, devouring forces, and that should I step outside of that circle and discover the truth I might go mad or inflict severe violence on others. What I can't figure out is the "correct" attitude - that is, stay within my circle, socially isolated, acknowledging the precise hand of the HGA? Or step outside of my circle, confront the truth and become further devoured by the experience?)
- My life has taken on a extraordinary level of intensity in the last 3 years and the momentum doesn’t seem to let up. I am wondering whether my life will ever return to “normal” or whether this heightened intensity is part and parcel of a permanent awakening?
- Any tips on how to make this "tour through Hell" easier and smoother?
-
I have been pondering Jim’s following comments from an old thread “Satan…key to the Great Work”?:
*
Try this (crude, fast try): There is something within each of us, known to us, sought by us - usually unconsciously at first, and increasingly consciously as we pursue our spiritual path - of the nature of the Sun and fire, of the substance of the reproductive energies, saturating subconsciousness and filling the atmosphere of the intellect and inherently the devouring and vivifying flame of superconsciousness. Every one of us comes to know it differently, based on our own natures, and - when our knowledge of it and openness to it and responsiveness to it hits a certain critical threshold, it unites with us in the most ecstatic fusion, an inner event that is more REAL-feeling than the entirety of the rest of our life before that time.And, once that Truth of Self, that informing lover-teacher-flame has filled us and owned us - an event that nearly always will have (among other things) caused us to journey into our own personal Hells along the way - we then have that most shining of lights to escort us into the depths of our deepest Hell where each thing found, one after another, is seen and known and named and pledged in its entirety to the service of this lover-teacher-fire-light, and to that Will, or Voice of the Angel, which is the whole momentum of our being.*
The underlined areas are my points of interest. I have been pondering the diabolically genius quality of my ordeals – how it reaches into a personal Hell, displaying it in front of the entire world, yet occurring in a precise manner that it is never more than I can bear (so far).
In the past I used to hold the view that nothing can happen to me without “permission” from the HGA and I must accept the blows and learn the lesson hidden in the experience. However my thinking on this has evolved as of recent.
- Would it be correct to say the HGA not merely “permits” ordeals to happen to the person, but is the agent of the ordeals - in this sense the HGA plays a hidden adversarial role that purifies and draws the candidate toward future union? (I am thinking of that FLO prayer "Lord of the Light and the Darkness..")
- Is the invoking of the Four Crown Princes and 8 Subprinces at Tiphareth, binding them to the will of the HGA, the culmination of the above described journey through Hell and real-life initiations?
- Would it be true to say that if ordeals come from the HGA, we can rest assured that they will never be more than we can mentally or emotionally bear? (part of me feels like I am encircled by slander, devouring forces, and that should I step outside of that circle and discover the truth I might go mad or inflict severe violence on others. What I can't figure out is the "correct" attitude - that is, stay within my circle, socially isolated, acknowledging the precise hand of the HGA? Or step outside of my circle, confront the truth and become further devoured by the experience?)
- My life has taken on a extraordinary level of intensity in the last 3 years and the momentum doesn’t seem to let up. I am wondering whether my life will ever return to “normal” or whether this heightened intensity is part and parcel of a permanent awakening?
- Any tips on how to make this "tour through Hell" easier and smoother?
A rambling Poem:
The ordeals and my very own personal mortality guard.
So as time would have it things have improved remarkably insofar as these perceived ordeals are concerned. The boogey man has proved to be nothing more than a protective lap dog with large teeth and a network of little doggie friends that extend into the nether reaches of creation - this was the point. It was an unwillingness to confront the awesome potential that seats itself in the Northwest cerebellum. I ran ... with an army of bewildered animal companions in hot pursuit shitting and crapping and chewing everything they came across. As i looked at their destructive capabilities i ran into a solid steel lightpost which rose so high in the sky it seemed to support the Universe. It left a rather nasty scar on my left forehead. But it got me thinking that i should always look where the hell i'm going.
It's all downhill from here as i realize that iam appointed to round up all these little confused shit disturbers and show them the proper place to defecate and how to share the little dogggie treats rather than hoard them. It's no easy task and i'm still a little uncertain how this is gonna pan out but i have an enormous light post to make sure my message is seen as well as a network of sleeping shit kickers to randomly shit, chew and cause general mayhem as a treat for the non-compliant...
end/
Reflecting, the Temple of Thelema has been very helpful in allowing me to go orbital with my thinking... I've another forum which is a little less rigid in terms of doctrinal certainty. I really don't care for partisan or protocol laden religiosity no matter who delivered it. I'm concerned with kindness and compassion not robotic, emotionless spiritual incantations... But whatever works for you. Mr. Fezz a very special thank you for you kindness and Fr. Aster Lux, keep shining... I will check in every now and again to see how things are brewing.
And so begins the next ordeal, i wish you all LOVE in life.
