Persistant Aura Problems
-
Developed your will, your greatest power over what is happening is will. Obviously it looks like roles have been reversed a little. Just keep trying your regular rutine practices, with as much extra effort of Will as possible. From what it seems in your case your mind will probly retaliate, but dont lose those GRIPS!!! After a while it should learn to obey you, and flow with what You Will. One thing about Gaining/Learning new abilities is controlling them, take it as a learning experience. Also you might want to learn the Middle Pillar ritual, so you can be well balanced.
-
I am beginning to realize this now, I thank you for your insight. I will have to write things down as I get through this, and maybe offer even more answers for questions that I or anyone else has in the future. It seems like I have a long road ahead of me though, and it amost seems hopeless. I am glad that someone on this forum can give me something optimistic to look forward to. I tried meditating last night, maybe to get more answers within myself, but it seems that you are right in the fact that my mind is retaliating, and my body seems to agree with it.
-
My two cents:
Aspects of my psyche have done similar things and rebelled in similar ways, and the feeling of anger/rage has been decidedly present as well. Try meeting all aspects of your psyche with Love and sympathy, and genuine sympathy as well, not sympathy of a condescending nature. At all times you are the king in your psyche and don't forget it, but love the ones you rule, don't refuse their needs or treat them abusively.
(This advice stems from advice Veronica gave at some point, FWIW.)
-
Ash,
Another question rises from that,(edit or rather statement) I am currently detached from many means in which I can feel love and sympathy. I am deployed to Afghanistan, and at times, cannot find in the depths of myself anything that resembles feelings other than discontent with this situation and the feeling of detachment being the root of those feelings. It is hard to feel love when mine is so far away, and it is hard to feel sympathy when I have been taught against it. Which that is the root of the problem, if I understand you correctly.Is there anything that I may do or specifically concentrate on that could bring about these feelings? I know all this seems complicated, which is the only reason I wouldn't be able to figure it out on my own.
I realize that I am humbled from this experience knowing that, before this, I was quite sure that I was on a streak of moving forward and needed no guidance to accomplish what I will. I now know that I am only hitting the first road-block of many to come.
-
I have persistant aura problems too. In which it appears to me that others are being attracted to me and come to me with out my will.
On 9-12-01 my most beloved nephew joined the Marines, and soon there after left for the Gulf. I recall the constant phone calls that only I could take, becuase eveyone else in his world was at work and I was at home with my babies. He has told me on numerous occasions how hearing my voice and my tales of laundry and cooking kept him sane and fit.
It is so very very hard for soldiers and those away from loved ones to feel connected. When I personally have been in situations that were unbearable (or so I thought at the time) I have had to resort to practices that litterally brought me back to my core, to my center, to my source....and for me that is my heart. I learned to control my breath, and through that my heart.
It has been said that we "generate" or "radiate" energy, from our heart and our mind. I would encourage you to practice strenghtening yours by breath work, as well as visualization. It has been taught that our ancestors were insync with thier environment, that they were whole and one with thier surroundings. what this can mean also is that thier inner heart was entrained with the "local" pulse of Gaia. When we move, our rythem gets off so to speak, and we do feel disconnected.
If you are going to be away from your natural habitat for an extended period of time, it would serve you well to listen for the pulse of Gaia where you are, and work to entrain yourself with it. There are many levels to this advice, some as simple as eat local foods and rise and sleep on local time......I do believe this advice is what is meant by "when in Rome....do as Romans do."
When I worked with my nephew on this concept it helped him greatly.
-
Those are probably the most motivational and confident words that I have heard for a long time. Thank you. I will most definately try it. I am glad that I joined on the basis that there are so many willing to help me in my hardship. I would definately return the favor if faced with it in the future.
-
You are very welcome.
I know through my own personal struggles how nice it can be just see a genuine smile on another human being, and how that simple act can make the world of difference for me. When I am knee deep in my own mucky muck day to day kind of stuff little things are likened to rings of gold, or silver linnings:)
I know that I would be much stronger if I practiced more, but I think that soft curves and gentle slopes have a beauty much differnt then hard, stiff, muscles;)
So when I am reminded that I need to keep my aura strong so that others do not impose upon me, I know that I would not get the chance for so many wonderful encounters if effectively blocked everyone out.
I realize that for me I need to go with my own personal cycles, of ebb and flow and that I am most alive and light when my clecles are entrained with the greater cycles. -
93
Having done my share of military service I feel I understand your situation a little, I found that I really shut down on all levels during my time in the Gulf, although I began to have some success in Lucid dreaming at that time, one thing I did not feel was any kind of sympathy, not for myself, or for my fellow man.
It was only after I left the Army in 07 that I began to be a real human being again, being in that kind of situation means that you have to shut down emotionally just to survive, so I did what all soldiers, do, Drink, smoke, and grumble.
one thing I did find was that I always had the Night sky, and thus a connection with the Universe at large, and the night skies in the middle east are some of the most beautiful I have had the privilege to see, Nuit is always present.
The benefits of military service are manifold, apart from a sense of discipline, once you have been on active service it will stay with you always, as a reminder that things could be a lot worse, but you will take a while to adjust afterwards, and having a strong sense of purpose means that you can endure even the seeming separation of the spirit that being in a war zone entails, you are not really "shut off", think of it as a sort of psychic dampener, without which any sensitive person would go crazy, it will wear off in time.
Take care93 93/93
-
@Xir said
"Ash,
Another question rises from that,(edit or rather statement) I am currently detached from many means in which I can feel love and sympathy. I am deployed to Afghanistan, and at times, cannot find in the depths of myself anything that resembles feelings other than discontent with this situation and the feeling of detachment being the root of those feelings. It is hard to feel love when mine is so far away, and it is hard to feel sympathy when I have been taught against it. Which that is the root of the problem, if I understand you correctly.Is there anything that I may do or specifically concentrate on that could bring about these feelings? I know all this seems complicated, which is the only reason I wouldn't be able to figure it out on my own."
Wow, that makes it complicated, doesn't it...
Maybe look at it this way: What you are doing in Afghanistan can be seen, in the best of all possible lights and with much effort, as being compassionate - the U.S. is trying (on the face of things, at least) to bring stability to that region, and even though you may have to kill to do so, you are trying to do something compassionate and spread the Law of Freedom to the people there, even though they may resist it. You are always doing something compassionate, then, by being there.
I don't know if this resembles what you are experiencing or if this will ring true to you at all, but it's the best thing I can come up with right now.
Look at your own problems, then, in a similar way I suppose - as long as you are keeping yourself integrated as best you can out there (and I know a lot of suppression and emotional numbing is required to survive)... You can be similarly compassionate with yourself, though without killing.
Best of luck, and 93.
-
@Solitarius said
"93
Having done my share of military service I feel I understand your situation a little, I found that I really shut down on all levels during my time in the Gulf, although I began to have some success in Lucid dreaming at that time, one thing I did not feel was any kind of sympathy, not for myself, or for my fellow man."
Actually, I dont really know how much of the lucid dreams are attributed to the Malaria pills specifically. They seem to be more drug induced than anything.
-
@Xir said
"
Actually, I dont really know how much of the lucid dreams are attributed to the Malaria pills specifically. They seem to be more drug induced than anything."
I considered that, but I found that I only became lucid in my dreams about half way through my tour of duty, by which time it was midsummer and all the mosquito's had died in the heat, (57 degrees C at one point!) so we all stopped taking the malaria tablets, so I don't think its that.
By lucid what I mean is that on three separate occasions I became self aware during sleep, enough to try to look for my hands anyway, on each occasion I would find some hands, I suppose they were mine, but they looked funny,1st time I just found a dark space where they should have been. 2nd time I just found a glowing mass, 3rd time, I found hands, but they were withered and old.
Anyway, my current theory on it is that it has to do with the heightened level of awareness we experience on active service, I found that I didn't sleep deeply, always sub-consciously listening for that tell-tale popping sound in the distance the preceded a mortar attack.
Anyway, take care, Pax et LVX 93 93/93