College of Thelema: Thelemic Education

I am trying to remember but isn't there a small ceremony to be performed before eating where you knock and say something. I was wondering if it is useful and if it works. I also was wondering the specifics of it.

I used to have a copy of the Goetia along with many other magickal books. I sold many of them because I went back to Christianity after bad experiences being a member of the Church of Satan. Many of them were very rude and nasty. The Christian church I used to attend made me feel guilty just for being a human being so I left that also. I do admit the Christians were very nice people though.
Anyway I did a Goetic Invocation from a Satanic viewpoint and greeted the demon as a friend and brother. I went out on my apartment deck and a flock of butterflies flew around my head. I was drinking beer in my apartment and the air conditioner was broke. It was 110 degrees in my apartment. I threw up several times. I called an OTO member I was friends with and he got really upset with me and reminded me to do a License to Depart.
I read Duquettes book LOW MAGICK and he says not to fear. I was fearless and did many rituals at the time. The local OTO body was always angry with me for doing rituals such as Liber Samekh when I was a minerval. If all of the OTO was as cool as Duquette and the people I met online I would probably still be a member.

I have been meditating dailly but not for a half hour. I seem to be getting more out of meditation than magick.

I read a book on this subject years ago and I was wondering if you meditated on a goal and visualized it happening if you could influence it to happen. I mean sitting spine straight emptying the mind and then visualizing what you want to happen. I was wondering if this would work and if any of you practiced it. It seems to work for me because when I fish I visualize a large fish taking my bait and I have good luck fishing.

I am looking to study Thelema on my own. Would this be a good book to purchase for like a home study course in Thelema. I am thinking of buying it but I would like to know more about it.

I was refering to a real woman who I would treat as a Goddess and she in turn would worship me also and treat me as a God. I was refering to sex magick.

I enjoyed reading the ethics of Thelema and now I know I agree fully with the ethics of thelema. I consider myself a better person for reading them. I will rejoice in pleasure but I wish I had a Goddess to worship and share my pleasure with. I now have my conviction confirmed that thelema is not simply about partying like my local OTO body seemed to be all about. I believe it is my true Will to have worldly success in raising my children, collecting coins, studying the occult and financial success. For me use of illegal drugs get in the way of this. In all fairness the local OTO body I was a part of no longer exists. They probably got their charter revoked. I wish my involvement with thelema to remain secret because Omaha is very conservative. I like being a Star and a free man under thelema rather than a slave to Christ.

Last night before going to sleep I was laying in the corpse position and meditating using the fourfold breath. I had wild dreams about the old west while sleeping but before I went to sleep I achieved a totally quiet mind. This morning I am totally relaxed and feel wonderful.

I consider myself a thelemite and I LOVE Led Zepplin. I have always loved the mystical and I practice ceremonial magick as well as wiccan magick. I have read the BOOK OF THE LAW and agree with the Law of Thelema. I am beginning to think I am fulfilling my true will by raising two smart healthy children and when they graduate from high school I hope and believe I will go to graduate school and eventually get my PhD. I love learning in general and besides sports I watch mainly Nat Geo, Discovery and the History Channel.

I haven't smoked pot in over a week now and giving it up was easy. I only smoked pot with a friend of mine a couple times a week for free. He smokes it dailly and is very lazy. Despite being very handy he had to move from his house because he let it fall completely apart on him and never took the time to repair it.
I got sick of listening to my friend brag about things I know weren't true. He was a legend in his own mind. That was my first reason for giving it up. My nose was running at his house and I asked for a tissue and he bitched about me bumming expensive tissue from him just after he got done bragging he made $7000 in two weeks at his business.

I will drink wine very rarely. Something in it gives me a headache. I personally like drinking beer and I like just about all beer from Pabst Blue Ribbon to Guinness. I find that when buzzed on alcohol and pot I am better at doing my art work because I am more relaxed. I drink beer mainly as a beverage and do not abuse it. I find that when I smoke pot I am more creative but I tend to become lazy about doing my more mundane activities such as doing laundry and keeping my house clean.
I haven't done psychedelics in 20 years or cocaine either. I am giving up pot because when I drink alone I wake up the next day refreshed but when I smoke pot and drink I have trouble getting up in the morning. I do almost all of my magickal workings and meditations sober because I do my magick during the day while my kids are in High School. I do magick to strengthen my will and to make my will be done. I am weak willed when it comes to cigarettes and I have to admit I enjoy them immensely and am totally addicted to them.

I am into studying the Occult, History and Religion. I collect US antique coins and vinyl albums. I like rock, blues, country and classical music. I have been divorced for several months and have custody of a 14 year old girl and a 15 year old boy. When they were still in the womb I did magickal blessings on them and they are excellent students in high school and better looking than either of their parents. My son is a sophmore and is taking precalculus and statistics. I believe my children will achieve the material success that has eluded me.
I was initiated into Minerval in the OTO by an Oasis here in Omaha that no longer exists. I didn't get along with them and they really didn't get along with anybody but the three or four other Oasis members.
I have a Bachelor of Arts in History from the University of Nebraska at Omaha. I had a 3.29 GPA and made the deans list several times. After my kids are grown and away in college I am considering going back to school and pursuing a Masters and PhD.