Bodybuilding doesn't have anything to do with getting a beautiful body. In its essence, it's like zen archery. The old bodybuilders weren't vainglorious. With that kind of attitude, you won't get anywhere. I don't like the word either; better talk about lifting weights. I stopped young due to depression which I've yet to conquer, and though I've achieved higher states of mind after that by spiritual practice, the discipline you can develop from training is something I haven't developed from anything else.
People are deteriorating nowadays. A cure for that would be for them to sleep, eat less, and train. But of course no one has time to sleep, eat LESS, and train an hour a week.
E. For someone who has alot of experience and knowledge about the sport, i deem "big muscles" as over 230lbs (and that's bare minimum). I'll tell you right away, that just about nobody gains such, and most who gain, do so so rapidly, that it washes away within a year or two, because they don't know anything about bodily, neurological and mental functions. The same may have happened to you physical condition, well I could say that it did.
Yes, I am pressing the point, because I like to. I hope you won't be offended, I am just emotional about those things that I "know" of.
Sorry the OT, I'll stop at this.
Edit. Maybe I should get to an anger management course. I'm just an angry young man who feels he has lost everything for which he has worked so hard.