College of Thelema: Thelemic Education

Simply write a letter describing your desire. Include whatever you feel is relevant for that.

I completely agree. It's not that I wasn't aware that Mystics fought the same demons but 'in their minds not in a circle' (Attributed- Crowley?) but it was the path of the Arrow so to me it seemed, quicker and this was important, vitally important because for some reason I've lately been feeling time is of the essense.
Probably some sort of ordeal mistaken for true Will.
*Notes in diary - total earth shaking ideas at the time could just be a cosmic 'burping' of no real relevance at all when integrated a few days/weeks later.

Update on the 'too poor to not do it myself ' operation.
I decided to use symbols that I like and understand well, at this stage of development it would be best I think, rather than messing about with planetary or whatever exotic forces I decided on the four Kerubic elements as related to the Leary's interpersonal grid .

The Eagle (hostile strength) I have balanced, I can move in and out of this quarter fine. Hostile weakness - it's been worked on extensively in correlation to the friendly weakness with cbt and mindfulness so the Bull and the Angel are in hand so to speak. But the Lion? Friendly strength - that's the only one I basically have no experience of barring er Valium believe it or not. The famous love drug of the 90's just produced extreme fear in me due to the lack of the corresponding 'joy- everything can be wonderful' element in my psyche. So ego/I treated it as a hostile invader.
'I come in love! '
'It comes in love! Kill it!'

So anyway - using the middle pillar ritual charging method, bringing the force from Kether down to the throat and asking the angel to direct the energy. Tipareth charges the Lion image and Yesod inflames the imagination to see the new world view in the positive new reality.
Circle energy, throw it into a nice bar of chocolate , enjoy the chocolate as much as possible to experience the sensual joy.
Seems a simple ritual, that would use all the techniques I'm learning right now, directly pointed at the undoubted problem with appropriate force. Hopefully.
I'm on my third night of this practice and ... I feel deliciously languid. Like er, a big cat that has nothing to do right now .
Also noted negative temper issues/ irritations are being caught and transmuted before they are coming out of my mouth and once or twice half way through the negative thought itself. Much nicer to my long suffering girlfriend too.
Will keep this up for a few more days. There seems to no negative side effect apart from , again, a little too much energy to sleep and clogging up the threads here 😀

Yeah, I did invocation of Earth this morning, interesting results.

By Jove, I think you've got it.
HALLELUJAH

"60 - corpse - still floating and feeling incredibly free but feel a huge 'something' building outside/and inside - like a spiritual realm of ultimate freedom is so close. Generally the realisation of this state of being is enough to throw me back into intellectual ganglia of thought and loose the freeness that allowed me to apprehend this 'other ' in the first place."

Now it doesn't take me that long to get to this part. For me this happens around 20 minutes in my practice with padmasana (Full Lotus). I've been doing it for a few (or couple) months regularly (consistence is virtue I'm trying to attain atm), and I can get past the usual pain, tenseness, shaking ect. about 15 in asana. But recently I'm been able to slip into this state, only for a minute or less then I'm thrown back like you said.

And it's in and out like that. When I reach it, exiting thought will come and oops I'm back again. How do I stop this? Do I think back at the thoughts? Or just go back to thinking of being still?

I've experienced this building of something a few times. Recently a couple days ago when I reached the state of "resting" in my body, I heard, felt, and saw a humming that was was building pressure as the pitch got higher like something was going to explode. Then thoughts rushed in and it faded away. But this doesn't always happen.

@Jim Eshelman said

"
I have no memory of it. If it wasn't for your actions (sounds like it was not), then you may have gotten swept up in one of the other security measure. For example, to my regret, it became necessary to block most of the IP addresses in and around Amsterdam. (But if you've been in the UK, then that wasn't likely it.) Your current email domain was not one I've ever had to block. Etc. (PS - I know you were't removed "for cause," because your posts remain here.) "

I'm on a different ISP here, I was on talktalk in the UK but I'm glad I didn't do anything wrong 😄

"
You're welcome. You probably want to contact our Temple in New York City when you get established (see contact lists on www.thelema.org)."

Thank you very much, I will definately look them up at the first opportunity.

"
Yes, it isn't unusual for this sort of thing to break out at a certain stage of the Work. (You could still benefit from better banishing if this has continued more than, say, 6 months.)"

It settled down in my home in the UK after a while yes. I've not had any trouble -with localised activity at least, the Path's other problems are a different story of course 😆

"
First, why is she in that space? If it's used only for a Temple space, perhaps there's no reason for her to go there until she's comfortable with it? After all, you're just reinforcing the negative.

Secondly, as mentioned above, perhaps it could use more banishing. Also, the main point of your conversation with her might be that there is stuff not visible to the senses that is as real, and as much a part of your life, as things that are visible to the senses - and see if she's willing to accept that principle."

I'm sorry for not clarifying . The events are occuring in the bathroom and bedroom principally and the Temple is the other side of the appartment, I've had no trouble inside the temple. However yes she actually did sit in for a banishing since she was interested in it. We've talked about it for a while and she was comfortable and I wouldn't exactly say she's freaking out, she's looking at it very level headedly and has just smiled at me saying ''I just want a good nights sleep and thank's Jim for taking the time to answer us'.
I'll rebanish the rooms one by one and see if things calm down.

"
But perhaps the best idea is to expose her to intense but positive expressions of ritual, etc. In that regard, since you're in Philly, I might suggest that the two of you plan to attend the Thelemic Mass that our New York Temple will be offering the first Sunday in March. (Details to be published in the near future.)"

We'd love to. I've never even met another Thelemite so to see the Mass would be beautiful. I have to go back to the UK to cross the T's but will try my hardest to make it and Amanda says 'Thank you, it's an honour to be asked, thats very kind of you'

@Anchorite said

" I have noticed in the link you kindly sent that all the invoking paired triangles are drawn with both
a. The upper triangle first with the exception of the water hexagram where the lower triangle is drawn first."

All four forms are variations of the Earth form and derive their points from that. In the Fire and Air variations, the upper triangle is the same as the upper triangle of the Earth form. But in the Water form, the "fire" triangle is the lower one, and that's still the one that has the Saturn, Jupiter, and Mars attributions (i.e., it's the one corresponding to the single-point-up hexagram of the Earth variant).

So, in all cases, you are starting from the Saturn (or Supernal) point. That's the generic for the hexagram.

"b. both triangles are drawn clockwise "

For invocation, yes. That's the Hexagram standard: Clockwise to invoke, counter-clockwise to banish, the two triangles match.

"As you obviously notice the invoking water hexagram *starts from a center point and then down to bottom right across to left and back to center, then the top,pst triangle is drawn from the middle to- top left as we look at it (or cast it) * where all the other invoking triangles start AT center top.
I am not quite sure why that should be."

They all start from the Saturn point. In the case of the Water variant, the Saturn point (top point of the "fire" triangle) and Luna point (bottom point of the "water" triangle) coincide at the center.

"By the link you provided Jim wherein it says that The Banishing Ritual is identical, save that the direction of the Hexagrams must be reversed. it would make sense to me to cast the banishing form of the water hexagram (or paired triangles) in this way -
Start at the middle and cast to bottom left then to right and back to center completing the lower triangle first. Then one would move on from the center to top right - on to top left and finally back to middle making the paired hexagrams."

Let me make it simple: The banishing form always starts at the same place as the invoking form, but you go in the opposite (counter-clockwise) direction.

"I used to draw the uppermost triangle first from center to top right and was left with a very rewarding balancing and energizing result afterwards. Perfect for asana and pranayama."

@Jim Eshelman said

"
Are you drawing only the Water hexagram, or is this part of doing the whole LRH? What you are describing is the Water form of the lunar hexagram. There's no reason not to use that for a particular purpose in isolation - but it would be incorrect to add this one lunar hexagram into the LRH along with three other Saturn hexagrams."

No , this was solely the Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Hexagram, which according to that link, Du Quette and Crowley and you I have been drawing incorrectly. I was casting the UPPER triangle first in a counterclockwise manner. Ironically it seems the wrong way of casting indeed banished these intense emotions and the version I have been having an ordeal with is the correct banishing form. I'll have to meditate on THAT one.I'm sure there is some reason for this to be so.

@Jim Eshelman said

"
It's not necessarily part of the HGA work - and, in any case, it's used long before that. Specifically, the invoking Hexagram Ritual is used to invoke planetary and zodiacal energies; or, in the generic form, it's a somewhat advanced "personal growth ritual" in the same broad category as the Pentagram Ritual. In the G.D. it wasn't introduced until the Second Order because it's opening formulae are specifically tied in to the G.D. 5=6 ritual; but in A.'.A.'. it is shown in Probationer 0=0 and used extensively (as part of planetary invocations) in 1=10."

Ah I see. I'm working every so often on the SIRP both as a whole and as a way to get in touch with one particular element (banishing afterwards ) I think I see the planetary /zodiacal/macrocosmic element as a natural progression from this.

"When and for what purpose would one perform the Lesser Invoking Ritual of the Pentagram?"

@Jim Eshelman said

"somewhere in the past - and too long for me to write before heading out the door in a few minutes. The key, I think, is to observe the effect of each on you. Personally, doing an Invoking Pentagram and then hopping on a city bus is a fantastic way to discover just how vulnerable my aura can be! LOL"

I will have a look for this post 😄 I think it would explain a lot. As I mentioned, so much has been written about the LBRP and it's complexity and as far as I can tell nothing published about what the LIRP does or effects it has on you. I guess I'll **not **try it when I'm attending a sports event first off 😄

"I've read that obsession is a major test for the probationer. It certainly has been with me - obsessed with finding a malkuthian female anima."

@Jim Eshelman said

"
That's not a Probationer ordeal. (That is, it's not one distinctly and generally observed in Probationers overall, though a given Probationer may have darn near any ordeal.) I think you're talking about the Lilith ordeal of the Neophyte.
If you're a Probationer, you should discuss this with your Neophyte. That's what they're there for."

Well... I'm flying solo and have had many 'paths' in the past. This particular issue reared it's head after intensive training with a coven for a couple of years. I'd written you a potted history of my 'paths' to date and I only read the other day that you try desperately to ignore PM's.
Ah well it's in there if you should care to take a look. I would dearly love to know what grade I am - of course that doesn't mean a damn to my ego, just as to what forces I may have activated through improper training and knowledge and indeed proper training. Hence why I decided once and for all to get back to this system and do it.

Many thanks for all your much valued help.

Love is the Law,
Love under Will."

Do What Thou Wilt Shall Be the Whole of the Law.

I've been hesitant to post a reply until I experimented and recorded the results that Jim suggested above. I find after meditating on the INRI and especially Yod Nun Resh Yod and then 'letting the mind go' while in the god forms many things occur; images, thoughts, feelings and on a few occasions even visions.

I then keep that 'vibration' or 'Current' from Isis and then go immediately on to Apophis where the same build of images and emotions and yes power (even in death) leads on to the Risen Osiris (or Horus). Three distinct and powerful forms that are flowing through my essence one on top of the other then of course repeated during LUX.
I use VIAOV for the final exultation (IAO under the lord initiator of the Aeon). However I only use the IAO god forms in the lead up.

In this way I seem to have managed to greatly build up the cosmic orgasmic death and resurrection currents before calling the light to descend, the light then comes down around me in two air ;ike hexagrams or diamonds. One from the crown to the feet and the other horizontally across the chest making a two diamond cross

Is this familiar to anyone?

The Christian 'shells' seem to have dispersed.

Love is the Law
Love Under Will